BDSM Safe Practices During Scenes

There are risks in BDSM and Kinky Play. There’s no denying or escaping that fact, so this post isn’t about safe sex or the risks associated with certain activities. Instead, it’s about learning safe BDSM practices that guarantee the best experience with this kink play. 

If you are practising BDSM with informed consent and have the appropriate knowledge, you can co-create your desired scene. At times you will be pushing your body to its limits, and it is essential to be fully aware of what that means for you and your play partners. 

In BDSM, safety is a priority and should be the first topic to discuss before play can begin. SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual) and RACK  (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) are two acronyms in BDSM that refer to principles required for safety. It is inferred in BDSM that you will be doing things considered risky so when we are talking about safety in BDSM we mean “as safe as can be in a precarious situation.” These two mantras are well-known in the community and serve as a guideline for determining whether or not a particular activity is safe and agreed-upon.

Let’s learn what practices can ensure safety in BDSM play.

Safe Words Ensure BDSM Safety During Scenes

Safe Word is a word or a short phrase a person in a BDSM or play scene uses if the scenario becomes too intense. It is a crucial element of BDSM safe practices during play. A safeword is a phrase or word that is used to stop play immediately. It can be used if a scene/play/activity participant has been injured, is uneasy, overwhelmed, or emotionally troubled. Trauma and unexplored emotions can be triggered by intense play.

The sight of a male chastity device may be enough to push some people over the limit. Also, sometimes one of the partners may awaken intense and sometimes uncomfortable emotions or experiences during a scene. Those kinds of experiences must be dealt with before proceeding.

Short and Simple Safe Words

A safeword should be short. It shouldn’t be hard to recall and pronounce during difficult positions or intense scenes. Also, it shouldn’t be “stop” or “no” because these words are used often. I will add that, whenever playing a role in a scene, “no” is a sign to continue in most cases.

Instead, some individuals prefer the traffic light system, in which “green” means go ahead, “yellow” means pause or slow down, and “red” means stop. It’s critical to keep your safe word short and simple so that you can remember it throughout your BDSM scenario. For many submissives, being in scene provides a natural high.

This is called “subspace,” which may cause you to lose your capacity to communicate. You may also use a safe action like dropping the ball instead of a safe word. It may also be helpful if you can’t make out your safe word because you’re using a ball gag.

Dom can Use Safe Words, Too

If you’re the Dominant partner in a BDSM session, establishing a safe word is also beneficial for you. Typically people think about how intense and possibly painful it can be for the submissive, but the scene can be just as fierce for the Dominant. Contrary to popular belief, both the Dominant and the submissive have control in the scene and both can interrupt the play at any time they need to.

This is why it is crucial to have a safe word or a signal to stop if the Dom(me) needs a break. This can be especially helpful for newer Dom(me)’s who are learning their limits and bounds while leading BDSM scenes.


Physical Safety

In a BDSM scene, physical and emotional safety is paramount when there is the danger of drawing blood, choking, and any other possible bodily injury. It is necessary to provide a quick way out of things in an emergency. Cuffs should have easy access to a key, and heavy-duty scissors are a must.

While pressure is usually enjoyed, be careful not to tie anything too tight as it constricts and stops the circulation. Also, knowing key spots to avoid, like arteries are easily injured places on the body is a must when doing bondage. This is necessary when using restraining tools like rope, cuffs, etc.

Impact toys such as floggers and whips can cause bleeding and compromise BDSM best practices during scenes. Not only should you be concerned about disease transmission via fluids, but you should also consider the possibility of severe accident or injury if you target a body part with insufficient protection. For example, meatier parts like the buttocks and backs of the thighs are good targets, but going for the bare lower back might impair the kidneys.

It would also be best to treat open wounds as soon as possible. Whereas some people enjoy bruises, severe buttock bruises might make it challenging to sit following a scene. Make sure you have the appropriate tools for aftercare: do you need ice after an intense impact scene? Or bandaids for any open wounds?

Important Tip on BDSM

An important BDSM tip is to avoid binding somebody’s neck without the proper tools (like this collar) as this might result in asphyxiation, which was the cause of the death of David Carradine, an actor who was apparently into autoerotic asphyxiation.

If you’re playing with more than one partner, make sure all toys are clean and sterilized. Porous materials like leather may retain germs lasting days. If used on several people, this tends to spread illnesses. On the other hand, some materials you may easily sterilize are glass, steel, plastic, and silicone.

The Final Words

Remember that kinky play can be fun and more enjoyable if followed by BDSM safe practices. Don’t let an avoidable mishap ruin your scene! Read and learn more aspects of BDSM on our site. You can also connect with other like-minded individuals in the Meet Others section.

BDSM Contracts And Negotiations: The Basics

Have you ever wondered if you really need to bother with a BDSM contract? Do BDSM contracts guarantee a healthy relationship?

Regardless of who you are playing with or if sex is a component of your playtime, BDSM contracts make relationships more manageable. These contracts have principles that can guarantee a healthy relationship. In reality, the notions of health, safety, and consent are the foundations of BDSM. These three values need to be constantly present to sustain a healthy and pleasurable BDSM relationship. Here’s why…

Importance of BDSM Contract

RACK is commonly found as the foundation to negotiating BDSM play. RACK stands for “risk-aware, consensual, kink.” Some prefer RACK over SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual) since it emphasizes that whatever safety precautions you take to play responsibly, BDSM still carries some risk factors. Whichever principle you follow, safety is non-negotiable.

BDSM activities commonly occur in a scene with a specific starting and ending point; however, some components of BDSM play, such as serving your Master/Mistress, may be added to your everyday sex life. Before and after discussions about scenes, ensure you and your partner know what to anticipate and offers a means for you to reconnect and recover after a physically and emotionally hard session.

BDSM Contracts and Negotiations

The notion of consent is something that the casual viewer may not see, but safe, healthy, and agreed-upon practices defines limitations before the scene— clearly outlining what you are and are not ready to do. Although a submissive may experience pain that seems to stretch them to their boundaries, a good Dominant understands the limitations, and both of them communicate the expectations ahead.  Clear consent is a key factor in a working partnership in BDSM contracts.

Hard and Soft Limits in BDSM Contracts

You don’t have to negotiate your scene very formally. If you prefer, you can also mention that paddles are all right, but you’re not ready for canes. In BDSM contracts, hard limits are known to be things you never want to try, while soft limits are considered things you might want to try or try with caution.

BDSM Checklists

A BDSM checklist is a helpful tool to consider. You may use it to demonstrate an interest (or disinterest) in specific BDSM categories and determine where your likes intersect with your companion. You may also use the checklist to reference items you will do to your partner throughout a scene or vice versa.

Negotiations entail the signing of a contract for certain persons. The notion of a contract may seem too formal or absurd, however, some people prefer it. Your contract can also state how much time you and your partner wish to spend with each other and even outline expectations for aftercare. Some people make temporary or short-term contracts for a single play session, while others accept them for years while agreeing to review the contract when necessary.

Safe Words, Nicknames, and Health-Restrictions

The contract may also include a safe word, nicknames or titles, any restrictions, and essential health-related information. You can talk about Aftercare Practices and Safe Words in contracts. For instance, you may include any STIs, allergies, injuries, or diseases that may influence how you play, such as arthritis, anxiety, and low blood pressure.

Of course, to define some aspects, especially for basic or casual scenes, you don’t particularly need a written contract. However, you may verbally apply the contract and checklists to create more solid rules and prepare in detail ahead of your scenes.

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