How To Make Your Sub Happy: 4 Sex Skills To Keep Them Coming Back

Sex skills are essential in BDSM play. Sensual play is finding its way into the mainstream, with studies showing advantages like reducing stress and better relationships among couples. From gentle tickles to extreme nipple torture, BDSM has evolved through time, but the basis of a BDSM relationship is the connection between the Dom and Sub.

Tips on Making Your Sub Happy

If you are a Dom and looking for a way to keeping your Sub happy and coming back, you might want to consider these tips.

1. Use Your Mouth to Give Shivers All Over

Your mouth can inflict more excitement or arousal than any other area of your body. You can do numerous things to your partner’s body and various locations you can do it, whether you do it by licking, sucking, or biting.

Even if the part you chose is not that sexually sensitive, biting will have the same impact as scratching, but on a different level.

2.   Grope, Pin, or Grind 

Grope your partner as if you are claiming every inch of them as your property. Do not be hesitant. If you want something, take control and snatch them. They’ll get a sense of helplessness that’ll boost arousal.

You can pin them on the couch, against the wall, on the bed, hunched over a table or counter. If nothing else is available, the floor will have to do. This behavior is common in Primal Play where ‘take downs’ are more common. Whatever you do, keep in mind that this is not to attack your sub, but just another way of claiming them to be yours and no one else’s.

These kinds of sex skills allow you to exhibit your true alpha nature.

3.  Let Them Pleasure You

Just because you’re in control doesn’t imply you’re the only one who should make all the moves. You can let them kneel on the floor and tell them to give you pleasure. If they are lying on their back, move around, so you’re over their head and urge them to keep making those sexy sounds.

Keeping them occupied, this is key to keep them interested.

4. Control Their Orgasms

You may use this in various ways, like teasing, delaying, or repeatedly causing them to orgasm. Make them beg for it as you draw it out, this will ensure a mind-blowing climax.

On the other hand, you can also tell your sub when they should cum. This usually requires knowing enough about your submissive and knowing when they are ready. If yoursub sees you as the master of their orgasm, you’ll have a control over their mind you never imagined possible.

Participating in an intense D/s play session may be emotionally and physically draining for a submissive, leaving them weary and experiencing “sub drop.”

Mastering and freely giving aftercare to your sub, from communication to hugging to caring for their body, is one of the best ways to ensure they stay happy and keep coming back to you.

For more tips on managing and enjoying a BDSM relationship, you can check out our blog! You can also visit our shop for BDSM products to add spice to your sexual activities.

Busting 5 Common BDSM Myths

There’s a lot of common BDSM myths found in fashion magazines and movies. Those new to the lifestyle often have these wrong beliefs about BDSM via their exposure to pop culture. This article will explain some of these common BDSM myths. To fully understand these myths, one has to understand what BDSM entails.

If you are new to BDSM and want to try kinky stuff, be sure to read this post.

What BDSM Stands for?

BDSM is a short form that can be divided into three main subgroups

The first term is BD. It stands for bondage and discipline. BD involves tying up or cuffing individuals, restricting their movements, establishing rules, and inflicting punishments.

The second one is DS. It represents dominance and submission and is all about power dynamics. Here, the submissive person grants the dominant one physical and/or emotional authority over them.

The last one is SM, which refers to sadism, the desire to inflict pain, and masochism, which is the desire to receive it.

BDSM Myths: Misconceptions And Wrong Beliefs About BDSM

Let’s look at 5 most common and prevailing BDSM myths and fact-check each one of them.

BDSM Myth #1: It’s strange and only practiced by few

FACT: This is the most common myth about BDSM. People who know little about BDSM often believe that only a tiny segment of the population has these desires. Is that true? Obviously not. Humans have long held a fascination with sex. Moreover, sex specialists or experts frequently encounter huge curiosity in BDSM when dealing with clients.

The Journal of Sexual Medicine research in 2014 found out that 65% of those who took part in the survey desired to be submissive, while 47% wanted to be domineering. Also, 52% of participants wanted to be restrained or tied up with restraint kits. BDSM fantasies are natural and acceptable. Thus, some individuals turn to BDSM for sexual release.

Experts advise that there is no need to feel guilty or ashamed of having such fantasies. In fact, they think that it is healthy to have these desires and that they are worth exploring.

BDSM Myth #2: Players must have experienced physical or emotional trauma

FACT: This is another common misconception about BDSM. The myth says that individuals who engage in it have past traumatic experiences. As a cathartic practice, they get involved in BDSM.

This belief spread due to the popularity of the inaccurate portrayal of kink in the Shades of Grey books and movies. BDSM is not a mental disorder. A 2013 research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine revealed that BDSM enthusiasts were just as much, if not more, psychologically sound than those who weren’t.

The authors researched BDSM and discovered that it was a recreational activity despite deviating from social norms.

BDSM Myth #3: It causes emotional harm

FACT: This third myth about BDSM highlights the emotional breakdown and negative effects on those who practice it. In truth, BDSM creates a stronger bond between partners when managed appropriately.

Some sex experts frequently suggest BDSM therapy for their “vanilla couples”. These couples find it very beneficial, especially if they are struggling with power and control in relationships. BDSM has strengthened relationships by allowing individuals to experience what it’s like to take turns being in control in the bedroom. This power exchange also flows onto other areas of the relationship.

Wrong Belief About BDSM#4: It’s all about sex

FACT: The fourth misconception about BDSM narrows it down to just sex. BDSM play occurs in consensual circumstances. If both partners agree that sex is part of the contract, then it will happen.

However, BDSM is not always sexual. Some individuals enjoy it only for the power play. It is possible to experiment with BDSM without having sex, but adding sex to the mix drastically raises the ante. For instance, some people prefer pain because it is more cathartic. At the same time, others prefer nonsexual options such as performing menial tasks. Therefore, BDSM can take many forms.

BDSM Myth #5: The woman has to be submissive

FACT: This fifth wrong belief about BDSM says that women are always submitting to men. BDSM supports a Dominant/submissive dynamic. There is no gender preference in BDSM. It is always about consensual pleasure and sex-positive play. Consequently, everyone is equally in charge. Both roles can also be interchangeable! Partners can switch roles as they like, depending on their agreement.

It’s all up to you! And your partner(s)…

Remember that you have the freedom to decide which role in the scene is most appealing to you. You are encouraged to experiment before making long-term decisions about your parts when playing in kink and BDSM. Now that you know the 5 common BDSM myths, you are more equipped to decide your kinky future. If you want to explore more about BDSM, Sign up to connect with our community or check out our new posts! Share your comments with us. We would love to hear from you!