Kink is one of those topics that can be uncomfortable to talk about with your partner, right? You may find it embarrassing to bring up the subject even when you are trying to seduce them. However, since you really want to learn how to talk kink with your partner, here are three straightforward steps that can help you.
1. Open up and talk about kink with confidence
Both you and your partner must be comfortable talking about kink with each other. If you can’t be comfortable with your partner who else will you be comfortable with? While there is no right or wrong way to talk about kink, a few tricks can kick you off. Once you have mastered these techniques, you will know how to talk kink with confidence. The first thing to talk about is what kind of kink you are comfortable with discussing. This means that you need to tell your partner if you want them to wear a t-shirt that says “bondage,” “wet dream,” or similar phrases. Maybe something a bit more extreme like needle play. If you do not know what your type is yet, that’s okay. You can ask your partner for help as you explore your options. Once you realize what works for you, you can begin to discuss what kind of clothing or role-playing activities you would like to engage in with your partner.
2. Talk about situations that might trigger kink fantasies
Everyone with a kink has their own triggers. For instance, your partner loves to make love as a couple but feels trapped in the matrimonial bed. You can talk about ways to make them more physically vulnerable. You might want to float the idea of having sex on the kitchen counter, while you make them a snack. If your partner is okay with it, discuss how you might explore the different positions that turn you on. A change in environment and thinking outside the norm may be what you need.
3. Acknowledge your own sexuality
Although this is the third point, it is the most important step. Both you and your partner must be comfortable with each other’s sexuality and your own. Being comfortable with each other’s sexuality is very important because of the many kinky sexual fantasies and practices that people may be unaware of. When you and your partner are comfortable with each other’s sexuality, you will be able to discuss kink more comfortably.
One of the biggest problems people have when talking about kink is they get defensive. This can come up whenever you feel that your partner is uncomfortable with their own sexuality. Instead of talking about kink with your partner, you could first start by getting used to talking about kink yourself. In other words, if you find that your partner is uncomfortable with talking about kink, consider simply not mentioning it directly. Example: “how do you feel about being choked, does it excite you?” However, this may backfire if you and your partner are not open to discussing your sex lives. Remember, there is no shame in acknowledging your own sexuality. After all, your sexuality is important to your relationship, so it would be a good idea to at least try to talk about kink.
By learning how to talk kink with your partner, you will both experience more open and honest communication within the relationship. Who wouldn’t want that? This is important because it can help to foster a more loving and understanding relationship. When you talk about kink with your partner, make sure not to come across as insecure. This is why it is very important to accept yourself before bringing up the topic to your partner. Don’t pressurize them either. This can come up because you are projecting your insecurities on your partner. Instead, be open and honest with one another and yourself about your own experiences with kink and how you can help your partner experience kink.
That’s it from me. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it. If you and your partner talk about kink comfortably, we’d love to know how you got to this point. Leave a comment below on how you brought the topic up for discussion. Sign up on Foxtail to have discussions with people with the same kink interests as you.
For more on this checkout: Discuss Kink With Your Partner 101: The Essential Guide