A Guide to Safe Fun Consensual Non-consent (CNC).

Many people are turned on by the thought of being coerced into having sex or other acts. Consensual Non-Consent (CNC) is a fun and safe method to explore your desires. This guide will assist you and your partner with exploring CNC in an enjoyable, secure, and stimulating way for all parties involved. Like everything else in human sexuality, CNC is complicated and warrants deeper exploration.

What is CNC Kink or Rape Play?

CNC Kink scenes are a relationship between two (or more) consenting adults. One of them appears to do uncomfortable or hurtful things to the other, who does not seem to enjoy it or agree. However, before any potentially dangerous encounters between them occur, they sit down and carefully establish the boundaries of that relationship.

Fantasies of forced sex have different implications in the BDSM world. Many people associate non – conventional action with dominance/submissive play. The most important thing to remember is that this individual has given their dominant partner permission to participate in this type of Power exchange play session. Before the session begins, they mutually agree on all of their restrictions.

In regular partnerships, the rules and boundaries are thoroughly discussed before proceeding so that both partners remain secure and have the enjoyment they seek.

Is CNC kink and forced sex fantasies normal?

Rape elicits strong emotions, especially when it appears in the headlines or on social media. However, it is critical to recognize that having a rape fetish does not imply that you should feel bad about it. Sixty-two percent of women have admitted to daydreaming about these power shifts in the bedroom.

It’s completely natural to be piqued by the prospect of CNC. In fact, by some estimates, more than half of the population is involved. Those that are uninterested in CNC are among the few. You are not a terrible person if you are interested in CNC. You’re an average person with regular human desires.

Remember that many fetishes and kinks entail playing imagined renditions of horrifying situations when they occur in real life. Nobody likes to be cuffed and imprisoned, be flogged because they disobeyed arbitrary regulations. Nobody wants to be kidnapped. But, in a context where the harm has been eliminated, these things can be enjoyable to explore through fantasy play.

When practiced with consent, a consensual non-consent (CNC) kink is a healthy type of sexual play. The reality about consensual non-consent kink or rape play is that it gives the persons involved the opportunity to play and shelter themselves from roles associated with power that are not equal. CNC, Katerina Balestrieri Kink, is a fantastic method to participate in non-real-life sexual desires, but it is also a form of entertainment.

Read How to Be a Dom: 4 Steps to Tame Top Drop (Aftercare)

Consensual kinks aren’t unethical

It is NOT illegal if something does not conform with the other regulations. The vast majority of CNC players have no desire to rape or sexually attack anyone. They don’t want to do anything to another person’s body that they haven’t openly consented to. There is always a great deal of negotiating before any kind of CNC engagement to ensure that no one’s agreement is abused. For instance, DD/LG is a relationship in which one person pretends to be the teen or purposefully regresses to a childlike mindset. At the same time, the other takes on the role of caregiver. This dynamic can contain a variety of actual dynamics, but what explains it is that this dynamic is the consensual relationship between two adults who can put restrictions on the types of interactions they may have beforehand.

People who role-play incest or have intercourse with a student enjoy aspects of the dynamic that make it sexually appealing (the forbidden nature, processing through the “this is wrong” feelings, illicit-feeling power dynamics). Still, they would never, ever want to have sex with someone they had power over.

There are numerous reasons people would wish to indulge in a kink that appears unethical or unlawful. I can’t tell you all of them, but many boil down to one thing: power may be seductive. Control can be sensual. It can be desirable to fantasize about having power or authority. Engaging in something as sensitive as handing over or receiving power can foster intimacy.

What about sexual assault victims?

Several survivors liked the CNC kink since the consenting part of the system gave them the impression they hadn’t been attacked before. Others are unwilling to participate in comparable sexual conduct. Both can be beneficial approaches to having sex during an abuse. Some people believe they will feel empowered rather than helpless, terrified, or embarrassed by consenting to these forced behaviors. It’s a means for individuals to regain psychological control over what has happened to them in the past. Rather than feeling like a victim, they’re regaining control over their lives. If you or your partner want to engage in this form of play but are concerned that it would be traumatic for either of you, you can always seek therapy to help you get started.

5 things you should know about Consensual Non Consent

Consensual Non-Consent in BDSM

These relationships are characterized by a high of trust rather than a lot of abuse. Even though sexual fantasy playing is a reasonably prevalent form of rape, it is still taboo. The fact of the matter is that the sub has explicitly stated their desire for this type of play. Non-consensual also means that sometimes, the dom may be forced to make the sub obey if they don’t comply with their commands.

Do you require a CNC contract?

Even though there is a BDSM relationship between two people, no implies no in English. He also has to know that the sub will cooperate, even if it means shouting and crying to get them to stop. Many partners avoid using safe words in non-consensual play because they provide too much control to the submissive. If you have a strong relationship, you should talk about eliminating safe words in particular instances, such as discipline. 

The Importance of Aftercare

Aftercare is a time following the BDSM session in which both lovers recover and assess their emotional and mental well-being. This should be a moment to unwind and reflect on the event. Aftercare assures couples that what transpired was all good fun and that no harm was done. Some folks may require a different type of aftercare following the CNC procedure. For dominant players, the typical cuddling and tenderness can be challenging. Some partners cannot accept love immediately following the CNC scene since the act of abuse-play can elicit actual feelings such as rage or despair.

Because feelings following a game, particularly for beginners, cannot be foreseen, all participants should take their time, space, or whatever they require to recover. Aftercare following a CNC session may require extra time and tenderness, but it should let both parties rest. It is also an ideal moment for couples to discuss their experience. You can discuss what you liked and disliked and utilize this feedback to improve the future CNC session.

Rape play isn’t just a kink fantasy.

Many BDSM participants may use the phrases rape play and consensual non-consent equally, but they are not the same, as we explained earlier. Rape play is only one facet of a CNC kink. Even those in non-romantic relationships may harbor such fantasies.

On the other hand, playing it out can be incredibly therapeutic for victims of previous abuse. CNC can have a broader significance for them. It could be a method for them to revisit the event, knowing that they now have the power to stop it.

If you’re participating in rape play with someone, make sure the boundaries are clearly stated and mentioned in your contract or agreement. 

Suggestions for dominant and submissive sex and even beyond

Consensual non-consent can be expressed in various ways, both sexual and non-sexual. Here are some ideas and examples if you are in a BDSM relationship or even if you only play part-time:

  • The Dom can wear costumes as a real assailant (if wearing a mask, make sure at least part of the face is visible so the sub understands it’s not a real attacker).
  • Use rope to bind and choke the sub during sex.
  • Administer punishments that the sub will find repulsive.
  • Indulge in torture play that pushes the sub’s boundaries.

Read How to Be a Sub: 7 Must Have Aftercare Practices

A list of consensual non-consent roleplaying ideas


Playing a role in a show is quite similar to role-playing. Here are a few instances and everyday conversations to get you started.

Burglary went wrong

The dom thief learns the sub is “completely unconscious” in bed while committing a heist. They study them while the sub is “unaware” and determine they want the sub more than their plasma Television or jewelry. They strip “wake” the sub with a palm over their mouth or a knife to their neck and start to abuse them.

Typical dialogue:

  • “Please don’t stare at my face. “If you keep those eyes closed, I just may let you go.”
  • “This is taking place. It makes no difference how much you tear about it.”
  • “You’d best keep your mouth shut. I’m going to have to harm you if you make a noise.”
Detention at school

There are elements of age play in this game.

The student is the submissive partner, while the dominant partner is the teacher. The student has been detained back after offending in the classroom. The dom lecturers them on their behavior, possibly forcing them to draw pictures on a whiteboard or stand in a corner. When the sub argues with the dom, the dom becomes angry and resorts to harsher punishment.

Typical dialogue:

  • “You’ve been requesting this for a long time.”
  • “It’s too late to apologize.” “Keep your mouth shut and close it.”
  • “At long last, you’re going to get what you deserve.”
  • “This is what happens when you choose the wrong guy to mess with.”
The Doctor’s Office

There are elements of medical play in this game.

The submissive (a patient) is going to a routine visit for a health checkup. The dom (a medical doctor) does some basic tests, such as taking their heartbeat and monitoring their blood pressure. Then, gradually, the dom begins to desire more. They have the sub remove their clothes for an examination, but then they order them to remove their underpants as well. They could hold them for another assessment or force them to be humiliating or invasive surgery, gradually progressing to a vicious assault.

Typical dialogue:

  • “I may have to handcuff you if you continue to be disrespectful.”
  • “This may be a bit painful, but I’ll get there as soon as possible.”
  • “Stand still!”
Arresting a hoodlum

The dom is a cop who has caught the sub and plans to lock them up for the night. The sub is trying to prevent this. The sub attempts to negotiate, believing that they will pay off the police officer with money or a fake story. In exchange for their freedom, the dom blackmails the sub into delivering sexual favors.

Typical dialogue

  • “If they find out you attempted to bribe me, you’re in serious trouble.”
  • “Would you like to sleep overnight in jail?” No? So, lean over.”
  • “You and I are the only ones here. There are no cameras. No one else. You’d best do what’s asked of you.”
  • “As soon as I saw your adorable tiny boob, I knew I was going to fuck you.”
Inmates in prison

The sub has been in prison a while and discovered that the only thing to trade in their body. The sub unwillingly consents to the dom, a seasoned inmate, fucking them in return for smokes, other food, security, and so forth.

Typical dialogue:

  • “You’d better make this worthwhile for me, or you’ll receive nothing.”
  • “Quit crying. You’re getting good value.”
  • “Kitten, scream for me.” “I enjoy some little bustle.”
Competitors in business

The sub is new to the area, having lately opened a shop near the dom and beginning snatching their clients. The top is furious and has constantly urged the sub to pull off and find their own zone. These warnings have gone unheeded by the sub. Incensed, the dom tracks down the sub after a hard day and puts them to a humiliating and extended assault in an attempt to drive them out of the city.

Typical dialogue:

  • “Didn’t I warn you?” You should practice listening. This is entirely your problem.”
  • “This is what you get for stepping on my toes.” “You really should have understood faster.”
  • “Are you going to start crying?” I’d like to watch you cry. I’m not stopping until I see some tears.”
Simply good friends

The dom and sub are both watching a movie. Everything is fine and comfortable. Slowly, the dom approaches the sub and starts to touch them. The sub pulls away, but this only makes the dom more demanding and eventually violent. The sub may attempt to dismiss the situation, divert the dom, or convince them of their relationship – albeit ineffectively.

Typical dialogue:

  • “You’re capable of doing this for me.” Remember, we’re friends?”
  • “This is me. You seem to like me. I’m sure you like me. And you’ll enjoy this. I’m confident you will.”
  • “I’m so fucked up. You’re going to have to help me out.”
Abduction

Bondage components are present.

The dom kidnapped the sub and is currently chaining them to a chair. They plan on returning them safely if a ransom is paid… However, they lose their cool when they learn that the ransom will not be delivered or when the prisoner is not submissive enough to them. They are furious and force themselves to the sub.

Typical dialogue:

  • “No one is going to rescue you. You’re all mine. “I’m free to do whatsoever I want to you.”
  • “You cost me the ransom money, so now you have to pay.”
  • “All right, go ahead. Scream as much as you want. It will not prevent this from happening.”

Important questions to consider before pursuing Consentual non-consent play.

These are the kinds of questions that will help you decide if you’re ready to ride the wave of consensual non-consent play.

Are you prepared for CNC?

This is something only you are aware of. But perhaps these questions will be of assistance…

  • Do you express your wants effectively?
  • Have you investigated CNC and what it entails for you?
  • Are you willing to have no boundaries?
  • Are you at ease now that we’ve discussed it and the trial periods? (It is acceptable to reconsider your opinion.)
  • Is your Dominant on the same path as you?
  • How do you deal with being pushed outside of your comfort zone?
  • Are you a mature person?
  • Do you keep secrets from your Dominant?
  • Have you ever told your Dominant a lie?
  • Do you have any coping strategies in place? (Have you discussed aftercare?)
  • Do you follow orders?
  • Do you have trouble putting your faith in others?

Is your dominant deserving and ready for CNC?

Again, only you will know the answer to this question. But maybe when you answer these questions, you’ll have a clearer sense…

  • Have they already lied to you before?
  • Is there good communication between you two?
  • Have they ever pushed your buttons?
  • What is your level of familiarity with them?
  • Do they become furious easily?
  • How do they respond when they are upset?
  • Are they ready?
  • Have they previously had CNC relationships?
  • Are they forthcoming with you?
  • Do you ever get the impression that they keep certain aspects of themselves hidden?
  • Do they keep anything hidden?
  • Are they encouraging?
  • How long has your Dominant been your Dominant?
  • Do they regard you favorably?
  • Is your relationship sexually manly?
  • Do they have feelings for you that go beyond sex?
  • Do they know who you really are?

CNC requires a great deal of conversation and confidence. Do your homework and figure out what works best for you and your partner.

How can I enjoy CNC in a safe manner?

Play with a partner you trust.

CNC relies on trust. When you indulge in CNC with someone you don’t know very well, it’s more probable that something will go awry. This is true of both the dom and the sub. When consenting to a CNC situation, the dom must believe that the sub is faithful and understands what they are committing to. The sub must have faith that the dom will adhere to any limitations that have been agreed upon.

Communication is essential.

In a consensual non-consent environment, there may be some things you must avoid. For instance, you wouldn’t want your partner to mistakenly provoke your phobias or to mistreat you in a way that aggravates an existing hurt.

You can prevent these unpleasant experiences by going over the scene with your partner in depth before you begin or by committing to acts that you know are comfortable with your partner. When you’re in the midst of a CNC scene, it’s not the time to try anything new and expect that your partner is interested.

Play in a suitable environment.

During the play, you and your partner may create sounds that appear scary to your neighbors. Similarly, suppose you indulge in the absolutely thrilling (but also perilous) play of doing consensual non-consent activities outdoors. In that case, you may be spotted by someone unaware that what they are witnessing has all been pre-arranged.

Suffice to say, attempting to justify your somewhat exotic sexual life to a police officer is not a pleasant experience. To prevent engaging with cops, choose your time and location with forethought and consideration for those around you.

Make a script/ spice it up

If you’re already in a Dominant/Submissive relationship, you’ve probably experimented with various role plays to get a sense of what your partner likes and dislikes. However, if you’re entirely new to any form of role play, take some time to plan out what you’re going to do ahead of time.

Within the parameters of the script, the scene can be completely adaptable. While your partner may have requested that you tie them up and gag them, the rest is up to you. Some couples find it helpful to write down their sexual fantasies and what will happen during their consensual non-consent scene. Make a list of everything you’ll need, from what you’ll wear to the gadgets you’ll need to send your partner into orgasmic mayhem. This enhances the mutually formed script’s sense of safety.

It’s vital to set the mood for the sub. If you’re the dom, attempt to keep your sub interested by using punishment or dirty talk. The sub can surprise the dom by attempting to escape, attack, or even pin down their dom. The constant movement in power adds to the fun of exploring this fantasy.

 Use a safe word.

A safeword is a pre-agreed-upon phrase that can be used by any person at any time to halt the scenario. There are several reasons why you should utilize your safe word:

Things are a little hotter than you expected, and you’re not happy about it.

You’ve just strained a groin muscle.

You should pause to ensure that your partner is still loving the play.

People frequently connect safe words with BDSM in general, but they are actually intended expressly for consensual non-consent situations. After all, you may always ask to stop or take a rest at any time.

Keep an eye out for freezing.

Some people freeze up and lose their capacity to communicate when exposed to frightening or overwhelming situations. For some, the overwhelming sensation of panic and excitement is an exciting and desirable aspect of consensual non-consent play. It can be uncomfortable and frightening for some people, and it can impair the ability to use your safe word if necessary.

What should we do about it?

Finally, inform your partner if you know that you are susceptible to freezing up. Of course, not everyone is aware that they may respond by freezing until it occurs. As a result, as a dom, you should pay close attention to your partner throughout the play, looking for indicators that they are having difficulty communicating. Instances include:

  • Going completely white
  • Violent shivering
  • A abrupt lack of reactivity when they were previously reacting
  • A glossy, not-quite-there expression

Check in with your partner if you observe any of these things or if you just want to make sure they’re still having fun. Before proceeding, speak with them and ensure that you get a reasonable reply (rather than simply repeating what you want them to say).

Take into account the need for aftercare.

Following a consensual non-consent scene, most people need aftercare. Even if the play is based on a severe or harsh fantasy notion, aftercare should be considered. Even if sending your partner crying, shattered, and alone is part of your pre-arranged great time, you should plan to check in with them after the play is finished to ensure that they are okay and to meet any needs they may have.

Make time for aftercare, and make sure you know what your partner may require before the scenario begins. 

Read The Amazing Benefits of Aftercare Kink

Final take

Engaging in CNC play necessitates a deep understanding of one’s partner(s), not only sexually but also in terms of their trauma history, medical issues, unusual reactions, mood patterns, and so on. This usually takes time and considerable communication during a relationship or dynamic history.  It’s excellent if you enjoy the CNC kink in your spare time. Honesty, open communication, and aftercare (debriefing) contribute to a secure and pleasurable environment.

Are you looking to meet with singles or couples into CNC kink? Join Foxtail to meet exceptional sex-positive individuals.

What are your thoughts on consensual non-consent? Leave your opinions and suggestions in the comments section.

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