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A Kinkster’s Guide to Online Dating

Woman in corset and boots standing in front of a clock

Are you looking for a kinky soulmate? Worried you may never find them and die alone? While there is someone for everyone, this Kinkster Guide to Online Dating will help you whip the odds in your favor.

Finding a companion in the kink world can seem impossible. You want to find a good partner, you also want to find someone who can suit your specific kink. It can be difficult to determine which road to choose because much of the information available focuses on vanilla relationships.

We all have fantasies or fetishes that we want to see become a reality or played out. However, looking for a compatible partner who shares your sexual preferences or is prepared to fulfill your kinky needs can feel like an endless hunt, especially if you’re waiting on a barstool hoping they’ll saunter in, chat you up, and drag you off to bed!

When it comes to meeting a kinky mate, niche dating sites are the way to go. You have the luxury of being at home and exploring and speaking with people until you find someone you want to meet in person.

Best Use of Online Dating

You can remain anonymous about your quirks and desires until you feel at ease. When you tell them you want to suck their toes on a first date or ask if they want to spank you in your pet play outfit, not everyone takes it well. They will already be aware of some of your flaws before you meet.

There are niche dating services where you might find a compatible kinky mate. If you have a particular fetish, there is almost certainly a dating service that caters to it.

You can let it all hang out with those who share your interests. On a site that concentrates on BDSM and kink, you don’t have to worry about being judged. The more specific you are in your dating profile about what you’re looking for, the faster you’ll find it.

Chatting online might help you develop a community and connect with other kinksters. Like any other kind of internet dating, not everyone you meet will become your next great lover; some will become friends, while others may connect you to events and kink-related clubs.

Being Successful on Dating Sites

Man holding whip hugging woman
Man holding whip hugging woman

You’ve picked and joined a site for your specific interest, whether it’s a threesome or a latex obsession. These pointers can assist you in making the most of your online dating experience.

Create a Kink Killin’ profile – Make a statement by building the best profile you can. Fill out all fields, including images, even if they obscure your face, and make sure to place your kink up and center to attract the correct possible partners.

Be active and take advantage of all services – The finest sites provide everything from video introductions and streaming video chat to member blogs. Participate in user groups for certain fetishes and kinks, make your own video, browse member content, and enjoy the community element. The more you participate, the more opportunities you will encounter and the more noticeable you will become to other members.

Be open to what you could discover – Remember that everyone you meet has their own ideas. This allows you to find extraordinary situations and connections that you may not have considered before.

When you’re ready, you can disclose your kink. You are not required to wait until the sixth. Date to enhance your fantasies. Toss everything out there and see what sticks. Do this even before you meet, because the whole goal of online dating is to save time.

Do’s and Don’ts on the First Date

It should not be considered taboo to discuss kink and sex with a new potential partner. Discussing kink and sex too early in the game, on the other hand, may give your date the idea that you are just interested in them for sex.

If you’re interested in your date’s kinks, the simplest way to start the conversation is to ask, “How did you get into kink?” It’s astonishing what people will discuss if you ask the appropriate question and listen.

Drop the conversation if your date gives a brief response and does not bring it up again. First dates are already stressful; don’t add to the stress by obsessing over “the talk.”

Act Like a Grownup – You must act like a mature adult: grownups do not arrive late, are not intoxicated, and do not make unpleasant remarks. Not acting your age is the quickest way to get yourself a No Second Date.

You are not required to prove anything – Act self-assured and certain. When your date inquires about your life, respond in a positive and self-assured manner. You should be asking inquiries that will reveal your date’s interests. And it’s not simply their naughty interests!

Avoid appearing needy and weird – You may believe that referring to someone as a slave, Master, or Mistress is flattering. You would be incorrect. A first date’s objective is to gauge the chemistry between you and a possible partner and assess whether there is enough compatibility to meet for a second date.

Two women biting apple with snake on it
Two women biting apple with a snake on it

Keep your hands to yourself (until invited) – If you’ve been in the kink world for more than a day, you’re aware that consent is a big deal. Advances must be managed properly in kinky dating so that your date does not feel like you are overstepping bounds. It also entails not pushing when your date says no.

Maintain a kind and welcome physical touch. Hold your date’s hand across the table. When strolling through a crowd, take their hand in yours. You can increase the touch after it feels normal and your date displays a willingness to move things forward.

Dress for success, but not overly so – You want to look your best because a first date is already stressful. Don’t wear fetish attire to a vanilla restaurant. Even if your date is openly kinky, they will not appreciate you causing a commotion in a restaurant.

Did You Hit It Off

First dates, no matter what will always be awkward. The good news is that if you follow the advice above, the uneasiness will fade as the date progresses.

Tell them whether you had a wonderful time on your date and would like to go out again! Not only will they value your candor, but your response will encourage them to do the same for you.

If you receive a positive reaction, such as “I had a good time” or “It was enjoyable,” that’s fantastic! If, on the other hand, your date does not respond to your declaration that you enjoyed the date, it is a good indication that they are not interested. It stinks, but it saves you from wondering later.

On the other hand, if something about your date didn’t feel right, pay attention to your inner self. Consider why you are dissatisfied. It’s fine if you weren’t into your date. If you believe you made a mistake, take some time to reflect on it. Before you go on your next date, figure out what didn’t work.

Now that you have some ideas to find the perfect kinky partner in the online dating world, start working on that profile and put yourself out there. Your kinkmate is out there looking for you, go out and find them!

Are you looking for a kinkster or searching for your Kinkmate? Check out foxtail and see if there’s someone there that fits your kink!

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The content on this page including, but not limited to text, graphics, images, videos, links and other materials are for informational purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, and does not constitute medical or other professional advice. We also do not condone any illegal activity.

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