Ultimate Guide For Living ‘The Swinging Lifestyle.’

Have you been looking for a guide to help you in swinging lifestyle? Foxtail is here to help. Foxtail’s large member list has many swingers near you. If you’re looking to get into the lifestyle or just curious, making a free account on Foxtail is all you need to get started.

There are an infinite number of spicy ways to enhance your sexual experience. If the notion of intimacy with numerous people appeals to you, non-monogamous relationships may be beneficial.

It is worth noting that ethical non-monogamy can manifest itself in various ways, one of which is swinging, commonly known as “the lifestyle,” a sexual practice that entails engaging in sexual activities with another couple and single persons. Here’s how consensual non-monogamy works and best practices for getting started.

The fundamentals of “the lifestyle.”

Individuals who live a life of their own, such as a swinger or someone in the “lifestyle style,” are frequently unmarried. And these groups often congregate at public and private events staged on rental properties, resorts, or even cruise ships.

Over 90% of adults anticipate monogamy from their sexual partners, with the vast majority also feeling that infidelity is always wrong. When one partner does not conform to the expectation of monogamy, it can cause significant grief and is the main reason for relationship dissolution with intimate partners.

What exactly are swingers?

Swingers are married couples who have sexual relations with one another. They frequently seek “unicorns” or other folks (also known as non-coupled couples). Teams will sometimes go to sex clubs and have sex with their partner, or have sex with a partner or both.

Swingers—people who hook up with other people in relationships—are still alive and well today, and the habit of “swinging” may be more widespread than you realize. Swingers are not polyamorous; hence they do not seek several romantic partners. On the other hand, Swingers are often looking for sex with few or no strings attached. However, the term “swinger” does not only refer to engaging in sexual activities with another couple or single person.

How to Determine Whether Swinging Is Right for You

If you’re not sure which sort of non-monogamy appeals to you the most, consider whether you crave a shared experience with your partner, and you might want to try swinging.

However, an open partnership may be more appealing if you wish to exercise your sexual freedom or autonomy outside of your existing relationship. Polyamory maybe you’re the greatest bet if you want to connect with and even love numerous individuals. Some simple guidelines should be included, such as leaving the past in the past, not blaming the blame game, not making up assumptions, speaking up for yourself, treating your partner the right way, and many others.

What Is the Difference Between Swinging, Open Relationships, and Polyamory?

Open RelationshipCouples have been together for a long time and have agreed to see others. They might do it together, independently, or combine the two. They may or may not form romantic, sexual, or emotional bonds outside of their partnership.

Polyamory- is the practice of loving more than one person and love in multiple ways. What I like about polyamory is that it allows everyone involved to be themselves while also finding healthy ways to be in relationships with others. Polyamory, like open relationships, will take on the shape of the people who choose this lifestyle.

Swinging- is a social sex activity. Swingers are singles and couples who participate in various sexual sharing or exchanging. The level of intimacy and sexual engagement varies from experience to encounter and explicit boundaries and agreements with all partners. Swinging can help to boost sexual energy and connection in any relationship.

Everything You Should Know Before You Start Swinging

Make sure you’re both on the same page.

Making sure you are on the same page helps a lot in a relationship. It helps in understanding each other and contacting everything right without causing any problems in the relationship. Discuss frankly and honestly with your partner what your aim is towards swinging. Here are some questions you should ask your partner to ensure you’re on the same page;

  1. What is cheating?
  2. What does our ideal sex life entail?
  3. Swinging for what purpose?
  4. So, how do you feel about how things are going here?
  5. What is a balanced relationship look like to you?
  6. Our partnership is a two-way street. What do you hope to achieve?
  7. I’m curious about what you intend to get out of our relationship?
  8. Can we help each other by easing each other’s burdens?

Set the rules, but keep in mind that they are subject to change.

Once you’ve determined that everyone is coming for the same goal, you must establish ground rules. Some simple guidelines should be included, such as leaving the past in the past, not blaming the blame game, not making up assumptions, speaking up for yourself, treating your partner the right way, and many others.

First, observing and learning.

You can do all the research you want on the Internet, but until you’ve been in a swinging situation, you won’t truly comprehend what it’s like to have the experience. It’s usually a good idea to go and see what happens the first time. Then, if you’re fascinated, figure out how you fit in and return. Make all of your rules, and then see where it takes you.

Set realistic expectations

Don’t go into a swingers club with the exaggerated expectations of a pledge at his first frat party, even if you and your partner agree to be down for “full switch.” Nobody can guarantee an orgy, and there’s a chance you won’t meet any couples you like.

You need to debrief.

Like anything else in a relationship, swinging will fail if you don’t communicate. And the most critical aspect of making the next experience just as mind-blowing as talking about what you did after the fact. The dialogue will allow you to debate the incident and determine whether rules should be amended or added or if there are other things you’d both like to attempt next time.

Tips for Swinging

  1. Open Communication

An excellent swinging relationship requires open communication between the partners. When it comes to swinging, it all comes down to faith. For the lifestyle to operate without jealousy or discontent, both couples must be on the same page and feel safe in their relationship and objectives. Discuss frankly and honestly with your partner what excites you and makes you nervous.

  1. Take note of the manners

To ensure everyone has an excellent time, swing clubs, parties, and conferences have their own rules and etiquette. These rules include anything from drinking to exposing one’s underwear to reserving a seat. Look up the powers of a swinging place online before heading there. If you have any more questions, don’t hesitate to contact the host when you arrive.

  1. It’s essential to have sex safely.

The most important steps you can take to safeguard your health and your partner’s health are to test for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) regularly and use condoms and dental dams.

  1. Work on boosting your self-esteem

If you want to live this affluent lifestyle, you must first develop your character. People like or approach persons with a pleasant mood and a confident manner. If you’re looking for a swinging partner online or at a club, show yourself in the best light possible. Many swinging couples disguise their identity under fictional names, which is very acceptable in the lifestyle.

  1. Play at the same difficulty level as your companion.

 Attempt to maintain a level of intimacy that is about equal among all persons involved. This is only a guideline, not a hard and fast rule. However, when the intimate balance deteriorates, it is more likely that someone may get uncomfortable. If your husband is having full-fledged intercourse while speaking with your swapped partner, you may quickly get awkward, especially if you are new to the lifestyle.

5 Types of Swingers to Avoid

  1. Ghosters
    Don’t be with or be the person who abruptly and without reason withdraws from all communication with someone. If you’re no longer interested, say so.
  2. Fast and Loose
    This is when someone deceives you quietly. Avoid couples that have had a string of swingers. People usually get that reputation for a cause, especially in a small group.
  3. Boundary Testers
    Having a clear understanding of each other’s wants, desires, norms, and boundaries is essential to a healthy relationship. You can halt the conversation if another couple or individual from the party asks you to change any of those things.
  4. Loose Lips
    Being too talkative is a practice or characteristic, exceptionally when mistakenly disclosing private or personal information. In friendly cautions and enjoyable gossip, couples who are consistently critical of other couples will do this to you behind your back.
  5. Unsure of Themselves
    Not characterized by or driven to feelings of confident assurance. Swinging isn’t for the faint of heart, and each couple must work out their issues before inviting others into their bedroom.

Advantages of Swinging

Aside from the obvious fun of sleeping with more than one person at a time and having it be an acceptable practice with the person you love, there are several other advantages to living a swinging lifestyle. Here are several essential and sexy benefits:

Improved Communication

You’re introducing a fresh, healthy dialogue into your partnership by expressing your wish to try swinging. While it may be challenging to say, you will learn to communicate more efficiently and candidly as you invest more in the swinging community.

More Intimacy

Though it may appear counterintuitive, being in a swinging relationship may make you feel more connected to your spouse since you can be open about all you want and dream about without fear of being criticized. This does increase not only your sex life but also improves your chemistry and connection.

A Better Sex Life

One of the most significant advantages of an open relationship is that you are no longer need to have all of your wants met by a single individual. As a result, many swingers report feeling happier and more fulfilled than they did when they slept with the same person repeatedly.

Swinging sex is entertaining, but it may also improve your sex life with your spouse in between exchange sessions.

Is swinging in a relationship healthy?

Swingers are couples or singles who choose to be open in their relationships, allowing their partners to have sex with other people with their permission. This type of relationship can work for anyone willing to follow the rules.

Respect one another, be honest, get tested for STDs, use protection, be very selective in choosing partners, and remain private about such a new way of what some couples swear by, a healthy relationship. Typically openness allows you to meet other needs while retaining the relationship with the partner.

What does swinging do to a marriage?

According to studies, partners in swing relationships are more successful than monogamous couples when married. When a marriage is in a slump, it is common for the pair to divorce since they do not work out. Furthermore, the divorce rate among swinging couples was lower than in monogamous partnerships.

Bottom line

Thus, swinging work necessitates a thorough understanding among all participants of each person’s fantasy and how far they are willing to go with it. It is critical to understand that this works both ways and that each partner must consent to every element of the other’s dreams – it was the lack of communication produced the troubles.

Couples must agree that if one partner says no, it means no for both, even if one partner is eager to continue with an arrangement.

Why not employ sex toys to make your swinger’s party even more enjoyable? Sex toys, according to trustworthy studies, can increase pleasure and even improve bladder control. Bring your sex toys to the party if you want to.

Now that you know why people may or may not try swinging, you should understand why swingers choose their alternative lifestyle. They recognize the effort and energy required by the lifestyle and the benefits. To summarize, the benefits are limitless.

Meet other’s near you who are in the lifestyle for FREE at Foxtailapp.com. Foxtail’s large list of swingers and swinging friendly singles should give you a great start!

Sprinkling A Bit Of BDSM On Your Vanilla ?

BDSM is a phrase you’ve likely come across if you’ve ever been in a pornhole (when you start googling thanks to Rule 34). It’s possible you have come across sex articles and forums on how to turn on your lover. When considering learning how to be dominant or submissive in the bedroom, there is quite a bit of information on BDSM. The key is to know your partner and what drives them. Also, you can both discuss the kinks that lie within the BDSM lifestyle. Let’s talk about how to sprinkle a little BDSM in the bedroom.

So… will you peg me?

Wait, what?

Inquire with your partner

Ask your sex partner if they’ve heard of BDSM, what they know about it, and if they’re interested. It is critical to establish mutual interest and enthusiastic agreement.

You don’t want your sex partner to feel compelled to do something they don’t want to do. Open and honest communication and boundaries start here.

Always come up with safe words.

It’s critical to develop one or more safe words with your partner while you’re having this conversation. First, choose a phrase that will serve as a complete halt during sexual activity. Consider this safe word to be an off switch. If you or your partner uses it, even in the context of role-playing, dominance, or other kinky sex situations, you will both immediately stop. Reassess the case to ensure everyone is comfortable.

Safewords are especially useful when role-playing or practising sadism, masochism, dominance, or submission. Still, they can be used whenever someone is even slightly uncomfortable or wants to pause. Because those words may be part of the role play, especially if you’re practising extremely rough sex. Safewords are frequently used instead of partners simply saying “No” or “Stop.” Common in the BDSM community is RED and YELLOW. Red for when a limit is passed, stop. And yellow for when a limit is reached, slow down or lighten up.

Make a list of what you are and are not happy with.

Suppose this is your first time getting a little kinky. In that case, it might be helpful for each of you to make a list of kinky situations you’d like to try, as well as a list of your rigid boundaries. If you want to try anal but don’t want nipple clamps, your partner needs to know, and vice versa.

Know your MATHS

Building off the last topic is a concept we call MATHS:

  • Motivations: What do you want to try
  • A-OKs: What are you ok with doing
  • Triggers: Activites or experiences that can cause mental conflict
  • Hard limits: Things to that you should avoid at all costs
  • Safe Words

Keep these in mind during your BDSM negotiations.

Consent, consent, and more consent!

It is critical to remember that consent can be revoked at any time, notably during BDSM play. Just because you’re both kinky or have tried something before doesn’t mean you’ll be into it forever. You and your partner should maintain open and consistent communication about your boundaries, likes, and dislikes and any limitations you may have.

Remember if it’s not a Fuck Yes!!! It’s a Hell No.

Continue the conversation.

When you first start experimenting with BDSM and kinky sex, you should check in with your partner regularly to ensure that you’re both having fun sexually and emotionally. It’s important to know that you both want to move forward. Discuss what is working for both of you, what isn’t, and what you might want to try in the future in a nonjudgmental manner.

Regular check-ins are the best way to maintain enthusiastic consent. This is a must if BDSM is new to you, you’re trying a new type of sex act, or you’re with a new partner to ensure everyone is on the same page.

Aftercare is critical.

It’s also critical to tend to you and your partner’s emotional needs before and after BDSM sex acts. Especially if they’re rough or involve any role-playing, such as dominance and submission, or sadism and masochism. It may help to have a soothing conversation after a tense scene but discuss it with your partner to see what works best for both of you. BDSM can be an exciting, kinky addition to your sex life. Still, it is critical to maintaining active, enthusiastic consent and communication.

In conclusion

Exploring BDSM with your partner can be a rewarding life-changing experience. Typically people see sex as dynamic and love to switch it up. Change is exciting. The longer we’re together, we can fall into a sexual routine that can leave us feeling unfulfilled. BDSM can be the change we need.


Stay tuned to Pleasure Uncensored for BDSM and Kink content to give you and your partner(s) more ideas and add a little spice to your vanilla.

BDSM And Abusive Relationships: What Are The Differences?

There’s a fine line between BDSM and an abusive relationship and drawing that line can be confusing. People often ask the difference between a BDSM relationship and an abusive one. They may be surprised to learn that there are many. Do you want to find out whether a relationship involving BDSM is abusive? Read on.

Abusive BDSM Relationship

Abuse in a BDSM relationship is possible. It can include a high level of physical violence and/or verbal abuse. Examples of physical violence are slapping, hitting, or even using a broken piece of glass as a weapon. Examples of verbal abuse are put-downs, insults, and blaming the other person. BDSM can lead to this if boundaries are not and consent is thrown out of the window just because it is “meant to be’ violent.

For instance, one might tell their partner that they wished their partner was dead or injured. Other forms of abuse are death threats or threats of bodily harm. We can guarantee you that these are not part of BDSM. Eventually, this can force victims to hide in fear, relocate or leave their place of employment.

Physical Contact in Abusive Relationships vs BDSM

Physical intimacy is about touch and conveys the intentions of a connections in ways that words can not describe. Physical contact can occur in a BDSM relationship but is not the same as having sex. The people who are involved discuss consent and rules concerning physical contact on the first date. Then once they agree, physical contact can take place. But, this does not mean that all physical contact in a BDSM relationship will be non-sexual. Many people who practice BDSM enjoy making love or performing kinky sex which includes role-playing and erotic touching.

Other types of abuse in BDSM relationship

Can one person in a BDSM relationship verbally and emotionally abuse the other? Could a BDSM relationship turn into an abusive one? The answer to both questions is yes. If a BDSM couple is always angry and blaming each other then abuse could happen. Be careful about how you speak to your partner and take into account their feelings before saying anything to them. Have you heard the saying, be kind to others always for you know not the battles they fight? You’d rather hid to it lest someone unleashes their frustration on you!

The first image shows how BDSM moves from consent to aftercare. Communication, constant check-ins, and agreement ensure that players respect boundaries and each other.

The second image shows the cycle from setup and planning to guilt. The honeymoon and excuses lure the victim into a false sense of security. One has to be careful about what they choose to believe.

There are set rules in BDSM, even though the reasons for playing differ. Some couples practice BDSM because they feel neglected and sexually frustrated. Others feel they cannot please their partners because of physical limits.

Some women find sexual activities traumatic. Yet, they seek them out to escape from life problems. Note that the activities can still be abusive, especially if they are not consensual or take place in a public space.

BDSM players must set their limits, agree on safety, and then explore situations with one another. Good communication is the difference between BDSM and abusive relationships.

In conclusion…

BDSM players use the motto ‘safe, sane, and consensual’ to describe suitable actions for sexual encounters that have violence. They reach consent through the use of long dialogues, agreed-on checklists, and safe words.

The best way to avoid an abusive scenario is to make sure that partners understand the difference between the two. Both partners should draw lines where needed and respect each other’s boundaries.

Finally, what do you do if you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship? Stop, immediately. Leave the relationship. Find new people who respect your boundaries. Share this article to raise awareness and help people know more about the difference between BDSM and abuse.

Sign up on Foxtail to share your experience on BDSM and abusive relationships or to have conversations with others concerning this topic. We are not limited to one particular topic. There is a variety to choose from to satisfy your kinky needs.

Tips for the Finest Fingering to Fisting Experience

Take advantage of all the pleasure finger-f*ing has to offer and graduate to something with a little more girth! We know, sometimes three fingers just isn’t enough.

You’re ready to enter a realm of intimate and ecstatic sensuality. Are you a size Queen or King who is ready to claim their throne? Whether you’re the fister or the fistee, you’re in for a special treat. We’ll show you how to make the most of your fingering and fisting encounters!

If you are picturing someone punching their first in and out of someone’s anus, vagina or bonus hole, you’ve got it all wrong, babe. Unless it’s a consenual power play thing. ;)

Read on for tips and tricks to make the most of your hands, fists and orgasms. We got you. #pleasureuncensored

Back to the Basics

Let’s start with the basics. Fingering is when one or more fingers are inserted into someone’s vagina, anus or bonus hole to elicit arousal. Meanwhile, fisting is when the entire palm is used instead of just a finger a two (or more).

Some may think of fingering and regard it as something only the sexually curious adolescents do when their parents aren’t looking. If that’s you, I’d recommend reconsidering. Fingering is one of the best ways to play, in any hole!

Cut your Nails

First thing’s first: cut your nails and wash your hands. Ingrown nails, scraped nail paint, blisters, and hard corners can all induce scratches and micro-tears on the genital surface that can lead to infection which we all want to avoid. If you don’t want to trim your nails, putting cotton balls into them and then wearing a gloves will help create a softer surface to enter your partner with.

Learn Your Holes

Many people focus on simply shoving their fingers, fists, toys or penises in and out of their partner’s various holes. For many people, this isn’t stimulation isn’t diverse enough to help reach orgasm – or even enjoy the play for more than a couple minutes.

There are millions of nerve endings in people’s vaginas, anuses and bonus holes. Feel around in them!! Explore their various textures and the way they react to different types of touch. You can try slow, firm strokes with your fingers, or gentle rubbing in circles. Approach your partner’s hole as if you’re giving it a sensual massage instead of poking at it. Get creative! Notice when your partner moans or when you feel their hole(s) respond to what you’re doing. Ask them if they like it, and when they say yes, do more of that.

Once you are familiar with their landscape, you’re ready to fist! Using the knowledge you’ve gathered from exploring with your fingers will take your fisting to a whole new level. You’ll know which spots are the most sensitive and what pressure they like so you can apply that with your fist. You can move your fist in gentle circles for a mindblowing internal massage or slightly change the shape of your fist to give your partner more pressure and a feeling of fullness in their hole.

Getting to know what kind of sensual and sexual touch you or your partner’s holes enjoy is key to take your play from average to amazing. Try different pressure, speeds and spots to explore their many caves of wonders.

Use Lubricant

Lubricant is a top priority for smooth fingering and fisting. Fisting, more than any other penetration necessitates the use of more lube. Don’t be afraid to get super slippery!

Pro tip: test your lube before you go all in. Make sure you’re not allergic and that it’s offering the kind of slick feeling you love. Remember there are many choices out there from silicone-based, to water based or all-natural lubes like coconut oil. Do your homework and choose wisely for the ultimate sexual experience.

Start Slow

Initiate your play slowly and softly – softer than you think – and ramp up your pace as you progress. Begin by exploring the more delicate areas around the holes gently. Move inwards towards their hole slowly and begin to penetrate. This will make your partner beg you to speed up and go harder once they’ve got blood rushing to their vagina, anus or bonus hole. It’s a scientific fact that upon arousal, blood rushes to the gentials causing them to expand and ripen for sexy time. This also raises sexual desire and makes you and your partner ready for more.

Proceed to Fist

After (giving or receiving) fingering with 3 or more fingers, proceed to fist if you both feel comfortable and ready for more. If you’re the fister, confirm with your beloved regularly to ensure they’re enjoying the activity. You can frequently ask, “Are you prepared for another finger?” or “Can you take some more?” When you’re ready for the last finger, draw your fingers firmly around each other, then gradually alleviate your palm in. Once inside, you can either keep your fingers in this duck-bill form or start to scrunch your fingers down into a fist. Take the procedure as slow as possible. There is no need to rush in as it can harm your lover.

After inserting a fist, try moving your arm in and out slowly, utilizing your fists to arouse your partner’s G-spot or P-spot. For people with clitorises, shaking the “fist” to induce the clitoral entrance, subtle lunging or full-fist strokes, or merely leaving the fist in a while rubbing the clit can also enhance the pleasure.

Slowly pull out

For the betterment of your lover’s hole, do not quickly pull out the fist! Leaving their hole should be done with the same delicacy that you entered it with.

Because holes are sensitive and delicate, having your companion take a breath while you gradually extract your palm can help induce relaxation sufficiently, and you can eliminate your palm without injuring them. Pulling out too quickly can injure your partner or create preventable tears. Check in often and make sure the fistee is as relaxed as possible when exiting.

The takeaway: 

People love fingering and fisting for pleasure. Passion will be increased by a gentle and playful touch. Hurrying in can injure your partner, take time to get to know their holes!!

If you enjoyed our article, you can leave a comment or join our community to discuss more about sexual exploration. Also, check out this amazing Rose Quartz Yoni Egg and Wand set on our online store

2021 Ultimate Guide to Swinging + Swinger Apps

Has your sex life become boring and monotonous? Are you ready to take the plunge to bring about change, even if it goes against the accepted norms? Then maybe you should try swinging using swinger apps?

For married couples whose love has grown into respect and habit, passion needs renewal, and that very desire needs to attract something new. In Europe, the attitude to swing has been decided long ago. More than 80% of married couples consider this to be a normal personification of intimacy in Germany. This is a natural step in the evolution of marital ties and intimacy. At first, couples are perfectly content together, no matter how and where. Later, couples may find themselves interested in the question of diversity. Some may study and try out the Kama Sutra, buy exotic items in a sex shop, or practiced sex in new places. Even with these new ways to experience sex with one another, some couples may find that nothing attracts them, turned them on, or gives them pleasure.

Some sexologists believe that swinging – the exchange of sexual partners – can save marriage. To many, it is not worth resorting to such an exchange for this reason alone. But if you and your partner are seriously considering becoming a swinger, read our material. We have collected all the most useful tips for beginners.

Swing is a short-term that means mutually agreed exchange of sexual partners. Swing is one of many deviant (that is, not aligned with strict norms of generally accepted actions) types of role-playing behavior of married couples. However, it is not a sexual perversion. Swinging implies the presence of established couples (including married ones) who exchange partners and the mutual consent of all its participants.

History

Swing history goes back to antiquity, and in some communities, it is the norm of family life. Free sexual relationships were promoted during the sexual revolt of the 1960s. To free themselves from the shackles of outdated customs. Unfortunately, this did not gain much popularity. In many countries, swinger communities would spontaneously form in close groups such as military garrisons. Naturally, swingers would carefully conceal their relationship activities from outsiders. Nowadays, swing is officially recognized as one of the existing types of sexual life.

Swinger App and how they help

Using Swinger apps is a commonly known way to meet fellow swingers. A swinger app like Foxtail has many users who are actively looking for couples to meet. In a few minutes, you and your partners can be making a couple of friends and forming connections. Foxtail has an exclusive feature that makes it easier than ever to search with your partner, which will lower the feeling of any foul play. There are several others available as well.

Finding a Pair outside a swinger app

Outside of hookup apps, potential partners are found on beaches, among friends, on camping trips, or at swinger parties. Couples may use phrases such as “vanilla” when describing a traditional sex life; eluding to the fact that they might not have a vanilla sex life and are open to swinging.

Types of Swing

  • Soft swing – foreplay with other partners, sometimes including oral sex, but no vaginal penetration. It adds “pepper” to the relationship and allows them to have fun with less risk for illness or jealousy. Many couples start with a soft swing, but not everyone continues to a full exchange.
  •  Light swing is when couples accept lesbian affections, but men are strictly forbidden to touch someone else’s wife. Some couples practice this kind of swing because it often gives sexual variety and allows jealous men to preserve their egos.
  •  Closed swing – this is a process where partners exchange but have sex in separate rooms. Closed swing gives partners a more intimate experience. Some believe it gives them more freedom and fewer distractions from pleasure.
  •  Open swing – when partners exchange and have sex in the same room or on the same bed. It usually involves orgies and is most suitable for exhibitionists and voyeurs who like to demonstrate their pleasure or watch others enjoy themselves. Some believe that open swing allows them to fully release their sexual desires and fantasies. However, it is not suitable for those who are jealous or shy.

Ethics

  • Swingers do not like assertiveness and obsession.
  • One of the basic rules in swing etiquette is the unconditional right of everyone to say no.
  • It is customary for swingers to bring all sorts of surprises, gifts, something for tea on a date. Even if it’s thru a swinger app.
  • Many lovers and couples agree not to meet alone with someone else’s partner. Keeping your distance is very important, and always remember that no matter how much you sleep in the same bed, someone else’s partner is someone else’s partner. It can only be temporary and by agreement in exchange for your partner.
  • Many couples set their own swing rules so that each partner understands what is acceptable and what is not. This is an excellent idea especially for beginners, to protect themselves. The rules can be anything from “no oral sex” to “no pain.” It all depends on what causes discomfort to each of the partners.

Ten Commandments of Swing

  1. Never try to ruin a marriage. Use honest communication beforehand.
  2. Always respect the terms of the meeting, or report in detail and in advance of a change in circumstances.
  3. Consider your first meeting as an introductory. Be prepared for a swing if it turns out to be mutually acceptable or an honest answer if something doesn’t work for you.
  4. Never, under any circumstances, put pressure on your partner.
  5. Protect the anonymity of other swingers by refraining from the unauthorized mentioning of names.
  6. Always maintain the highest standards of hygiene and appearance.
  7. Do not engage in any illegal activity that could discredit swingers as a group.
  8. Be friendly and warm with your friends, but remember that a certain type of emotion should always be reserved for your spouse.
  9. Always show respect for the attitudes, feelings, and habits of other swingers.
  10. Have the dos and don’ts of your encounter discussed before the meeting. In the scene is never a time for negotiations.

It is safe to say that it is a positive experience for most and is worth trying. It’s cool to escape from everyday life and become a different person for a while. It’s nice when strangers find you attractive and openly talk about it. This will save you from many complexities. And yes, swinging has strengthened more than one relationship. It’s not just about great sex. Swing can build trust and cohesion in a couple. You can’t do something like that and not trust each other. Do not be afraid, try it, and get the most out of sex! Joining the best swinger app now Foxtail!

*Be sure to add Swinging as one of your kinks ;)

BDSM Contract: A Guide to Sub Drop and Aftercare

You want to have a spanking good time and spice things up in your sex life? We recommend BDSM. But before rushing into this lifestyle you have to know what you’re signing up for. That’s why BDSM contracts are important! There are things that you may come across that you have no clue about. And those are some of what we are handling today. We will answer the questions:

  • What are BDSM contract, negotiations?
  • What are BDSM Sub Drops and Subspace (But what Is Sub Drop?)

What Are BDSM Contracts And Negotiations

Before you commit to a business deal, don’t you draft up a contract and sign it to show that you agree to the terms set? It’s the concept when it comes to a BDSM comes to a BDSM contract. So to answer your question, this is a contract between a dominant and submissive that maps out boundaries and safety during the scene. We do know it sounds crazy to draft up a contract when it comes to sexual endeavors but it may help to reduce the awkwardness that comes with bringing some topics up to your partner.

Why Are BDSM Contract And Negotiations Important?

BDSM is all about consent and not abuse. So many people try to define kink by what it is rather than focusing on what it is not. BDSM can lead to both emotional and physical abuse if boundaries and rules are not set. A contract, written preferably, can help you amplify your voice on what is acceptable and what is not. Many people refuse to enter an agreement of this kind but for your sake, we would suggest you do.

Subspace

To understand your BDSM contract, you must first know what comes before it: subspace.

Subspace is a state of consciousness that a submissive might experience in the middle of a scene. When you’re in subspace, you may feel separated from your body and cannot share the full intensity of pain. Some submissives have described a sense of flying or floating as in an out-of-body experience. 

You may feel disoriented, your thoughts may be disorganized, and you may have trouble speaking.

Sub Drop

Sub drop is caused by the absence of the same hormones that provide the unique sensation of subspace. Because play has ended, and your body has ceased creating the chemicals that rendered you insensitive to pain and sensation during subspace, these symptoms appear suddenly. Your BDSM contract should mention if play abruptly ends for any reason, a sub drop might occur. All of the chemicals circulating in your brain to produce subspace calm down when a scene concludes.

Your body might come out of its elevated state of euphoria and flow, and you may feel very weary. Other symptoms may include the inability to regulate temperature, high or low blood pressure, unconsciousness, lethargy, nausea, pain, headaches, dizziness, weak muscles, and lack of focus. Sub drop may not occur at all times, just as you may not constantly be in subspace. It’s more likely to happen if a scene abruptly ends for any reason. However, aftercare can help alleviate these symptoms.

Aftercare

Any action that helps you reconnect after a scene and gently ease back into the “sober” world is included in this factor of safety in BDSM play. Sub drop can also be made less severe using aftercare.

Aftercare might include cuddling, as well as having some food and a drink. Some individuals give their partners energy drinks to recharge electrolytes. Your ideal sort of aftercare can be a warm blanket or your favorite movie. After a scene, focus on things that will help you relax your mind and body. Most people seem to think of aftercare as something that the top does for the submissive/bottom, but it may also benefit the top.

While much of the BDSM contract stated aftercare happens right after a session, that isn’t always the case. If your sub drop (or dom drop) requires you to revitalize first, aftercare may have to wait until after a nap. After a couple of days, checking-in may also disclose difficulties that aren’t immediately obvious after a scene finishes. This pause may also be necessary for individuals who require some alone time due to a top or sub drop, which might appear as a withdrawal that fades with time. Scenes can go smoothly yet still evoke strong emotions, which don’t necessarily manifest. After a hard session, taking your partner out for ice cream could be a nice kind of aftercare! Learn more on how to be a submissive here.

A Good BDSM Contract Addresses both Aftercare and Subspace

As you can see, partaking in a BDSM contract responsibly, particularly in the more intense forms, necessitates communication. However, discussing this may be challenging, but you can always learn how to talk about BDSM with your partner more effectively. If you’re interested in looking deeper into Dominant and Submissive lifestlye checkout our related posts!

Sex Party: Top 10 Dos and Don’ts To Remember

If you’ve never been to a sex party before, you may assume it’s full of undressed strangers rolling about with no regard for any rules or restrictions. That’s where you’re mistaken. Sex parties definitely have rules for everyone to have a good time.

It’s crucial to recognize which actions are acceptable and not in an event where so many standard rules don’t apply. Understanding and sticking to the rules will make your fellow partygoers feel at ease with you and allow them to enjoy themselves. So let’s talk about some DOs and DON’Ts before diving into your very first sex party.

DOs and DON’Ts in a Sex Party

DO: Know What type of Party you’re Attending.

The sex-positive community (people who accept sex as a good thing) is divided into various branches, each of which has its own events. Some are more concerned with sex, while others are more interested in social connection. Singles are catered to by some, while couples and their visitors are catered to by others. So, find out whether it’s a swinger sex party, a kink munch, a swap party, or a cuddle puddle, etc. Familiarize yourself with the guidelines before going or inquire about them when you arrive. Then stick to them.

DON’T: Don’t Forget to Set Your Boundaries.

This one’s really important at a sex party. Setting boundaries and writing them down or making a mental list allows you to define what’s okay and what’s not accurately. You definitely won’t be flashing a piece of paper at possible sexual partners, but noting things down is a good approach to figure out what you are and aren’t comfortable with before feeling obligated to agree to something you don’t really want to do.

DO: Put On Your Sexiest Clothes

Know the dress code.  Again, you can ask about it and then follow suit. Wear something comfortable, whether it’s a sarong, a loose dress, a fitted jacket, or a rubber corset. However, whatever you wear, make sure it’s clean and comfy. You can dress in something kinky. It’s still highly recommended!

Always brush your teeth and take a shower before going out. Carry whatever you’d normally use to shave before going on a first date. You’re putting yourself out there, so bring your best self.

DON’T: Don’t Forget That it’s a Party.

You’re not in a brothel. Just because you showed up doesn’t automatically mean that you are entitled to sex, not even if you paid a high cover price and travelled a long distance. Everybody there is a guest just like you. They are, above all, humans. It would be best if you treated everybody with respect. And if you don’t get any action, don’t make it a big deal, it’s a party. There’s always going to be another one.

DO: Be Prepared

Condoms are provided at most parties. There are even lubes, towels, and wet wipes in some. However, arriving at a party where you expect to have sex with strangers and not having a dental dam or a single condom is a bit of a turnoff. And it goes without saying that it’s always better to be safe than sorry.

DON’T: Don’t Get wasted.

Always ask someone’s permission before touching them. Slapping some stranger’s butt in a club seems hot in movies, but it’s not cool in real life. Always ask first, whether it’s a single person or a group. If this is your first time, it may be beneficial to rehearse some lines beforehand.

Always ask first, even if you’ve played before.

Don’t be concerned about being “smooth.”? Everyone is aware as to why you’re there. Be straightforward and kind. Also, keep in mind that everyone has the right to cancel their permission at any moment. 

DON’T: Be afraid to say “no.”

Attending a sex party doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to have sex; you may watch, but only if it’s allowed. It also doesn’t imply that you have to talk to everyone who comes up to you. Smile ?—it helps to take the sting out of the words—but be straightforward and assertive when someone attempts several times, and make sure that they get that no means no. In most cases, people aren’t going to continue pushing.

DO: Be friendly by breaking the ice.

You don’t have to talk to everyone you meet, but an approachable demeanour will certainly draw people to you and relieve you of the burden of initiating conversations. Having a nice attitude and being open to possibilities can create a better experience.  If you’re confused about anything, ask questions and admit that you’re new to the situation. Everyone has to start somewhere, right? You’ll almost certainly discover that the other guests will be more sensitive to your situation if you speak up.

DON’T: Be Entitled.

Make sure you don’t leave any mess behind. Don’t take up too much space in the restroom. Don’t take photos or videos of anybody. Keep your observations to yourself. And if anything doesn’t seem right, tell the host immediately. This is not your party be a courteous guest.

DO: Carry Sex Toys.

We are living in modern times. This means that if someone invites you to a sex party, make sure you have sex vibrators with you (if that’s your thing). Here’s the thing: sex toys in the bedroom can be hot. If it makes you excited at home, bring it out. Kink toys can be a great addition to such an occasion. Some people may share their toys with you, but don’t count on them for hygiene’s sake. Stock up on low cost kinky toys at Foxxxy.

Keep these 10 do’s and don’ts top of mind, and you’ll do great. Sex parties are a lot of fun! Concentrate on people rather than sex, and you’ll have a blast. If you make a mistake, an apology is acceptable. Be open-minded and allow yourself to learn.

Don’t know where these parties are? Find people who do by signing up on Foxtail, and start exploring a new world of wonder with curious and exciting people like you! ;)

What Makes BDSM Fun?


If your tastes lean toward the vanilla side of the sexual scale, then you have probably at some point asked yourself why people love BDSM. According to a study, almost 50% of people have experimented with BDSM. Do they enjoy the suffering or is there something deeper that is not as apparent? The truth is that sexual pleasure and desire are complex. Sexual satisfaction and turn-ons are incredibly personal and varied.

The best thing about BDSM is that you get to choose what works well for you. Provided that there’s consent and all precautions are taken into consideration, there is no wrong or right way to be a sexual being. Honestly, that’s what makes BDSM fun; parties dedicated to BDSM boldly pursue what people enjoy most in the bedroom without apology. With that said, what makes BDSM enjoyable to people who participate in it? Find out!


It’s a Creative Way of Sexual Expression

Role-playing is the most creative way to enjoy BDSM. After outlining consent and precautions, the roles and story become a total escape from realism. The other surprising value while participating in role-play is that it is a creative means of expression. It triggers imagination in us, not only in the bedroom and testing the boundaries of sexual experience, but offers a good source of material for art, video game, writing, film production, and even acting.

BDSM Makes People Fully Surrender

People who often act as receivers in a BDSM exchange admit that being restrained, overpowered, yelled at, or struck, takes them out of themselves and enables them to be so overcome with a sensual stimulus that they are lost in the moment. To enjoy such total submission is perplexing yet passionate, and you’ll come out of it feeling emotionally purified. When such an exchange is done intently, the orgasms are tremendously powerful. The intimacy level left behind for both partners is unmatched in those moments. However, with such intensity can come Sub-drop, when you are asked to return to the vanilla world. Read about Sub-drop and tips for aftercare here.

Playing with Control

Even though we try to have as much control in our lives as possible, there is something behind playing with power and control in BDSM that is different and thrilling. Engaging in BDSM can foster a range of different feelings such as openness, sensuality, intensity, silliness, and uniqueness. For some, it sparks pure fascination to be at the whim of someone else’s complete control while for others, it can be empowering to be in complete control of someone else’s body in a scene. For others, it can be a relief for someone else to take charge in the bedroom after trying to control every other aspect of their lives. Whatever your position in BDSM, it can be enlightening to play with power in a range of unusual ways.


It Increases Sensation

Another reason why people enjoy BDSM is that it intensifies pleasure through attention to sensation. Engaging in a steamy, sensory scene enables the people involved to indulge in more awareness of what they are feeling and their emotions. People use rope, handcuffs, whips, riding crops, feathers, and more to stimulate the body from a tickling sensation to varying degrees of pain.


Final Thought

Although everyone may not like BDSM, it’s evident that those who find it enjoyable have compelling reasons for doing so. Erotic cravings are complex, but again, that’s one of the reasons why it’s remarkable! Meet BDSM novices or seasoned experts in our sex-positive community here.

If you are among BDSM lovers, Check out our blog to read similar posts.

Kink Apps and Fascinating Reasons People Are Drawn to Them

We believe the mind is a sex organ, and pleasing it requires a little imagination.

Before considering why people like kink apps, you first need to understand the term “kink.” Centuries ago, perversion meant everything that the church did not accept, but the view on this concept changed over time. Many people believed that kink is to have sex for your pleasure and not for the sake of childbirth. 

But with the development of civilization and science, the concept of sexual perversion is no longer condemned if it does not contradict the law and does not harm others. 

Before Kink Apps, Kink was Considered Perverted

In modern times, there is a specific concept of “norms” in sexual relations between people. What is a perversion for some is an ordinary sex life for others. Regular sex can be just foreplay of the genitals and other body parts that bring pleasure and direct sexual intercourse between mature people with mutual consent. Anything that crosses these “norms” is considered a perversion.

According To Sexologists, the Following Practices Are Perverted: 

  • Masochism is the enjoyment of pain caused by another person. This pain can be through lashes, spanking, strangulation, hot wax dripping on the body, binding, and subsequent numbness of the limbs. Masochism, in some cases, can be much more, which brings discomfort and pain for most people.
  • Sadism is the enjoyment of hurting another person. These are often similar methods of inflicting pain as in masochism but more brutal and may lead to injury. 
  • Transvestism is the pleasure of dressing up in women’s clothes. Sexologists attribute this type of perversion more to a violation of psychological functions and self-perception.
  • Fetishism is pleasure causes by an object directly or indirectly related to the sexual sphere. It emerges of sexual desire and satisfaction during contact with inanimate items such as panties, shoes, and much more). 
  • Exhibitionism is the pleasure of showing your naked body to another person without his consent. 
  • Voyeurism is the pleasure of looking at a naked person without their consent. This kink is on the verge of breaking the law. A great example of this is when a voyeur records a video of an underage person.

There are many sexual kinks on kink apps that have not received much study but are nevertheless widespread.

Different Kinks Found on Kink Apps: 

  • Fisting is the penetration into the genitalia or anal opening with the fingers or a fist.
  • Urophilia is a sexual pleasure urinating on a partner or from a partner.
  • Coprophilia is sexual arousal and satisfaction from manipulation with partner’s feces.
  • Enema is getting sexual pleasure by injecting liquid or medical suppositories into the rectum.
  • Necrophilia is a sexual attraction to corpses and performing sexual acts with them.
  • Exaudirism is the uncontrollable desire of a person to listen to someone else’s sexual intercourse.
  • Acrotomophilia is a fetish from which a person derives sexual pleasure or arousal from having intercourse with or sexually fantasizing to an amputee.

The listed above are only a few of the many kinks on every kink apps. 

What Does Science Say About Kink? 

At this stage of studying this topic, scientists have not reached a consensus that can induce a person to engage in atypical sex drive and behaviors. There are a number of the most common causes that lead to such kinks. Let’s take a closer look at this:

Hormonal Disruptions in the body and Various Genetic Abnormalities

  • All kinds of birth trauma can disrupt the work of the brain 
  • Hereditary factors: There is an opinion that attraction to various sexual deviations transmits at the genetic level. Still, at the present stage of science, it is not a proven fact. 

A Negative Environment of Upbringing and Psychological Trauma

  • A hostile environment can create the desire for either submission or domination over your partner.
  • Deep psychological trauma. Late separation of the child from the mother is a psychological trauma variant. This trauma leads to dire consequences such as a complete failure in social relationships, peer relationships do not work out for one reason or another, and the child does not fit into society. It can lead to a misunderstanding of sexual relations, leading to various sexual deviations, such as the pleasure of peeping or eavesdropping on someone, to multiple types of fetishes. 

Disruption of the Endocrine System and Delayed Sexual Development

Disruption of the endocrine system creates delayed sexual development and the absence or delayed receipt of sex education. It could cause a person to confuse themselves as a sexual partner and the role of sex in their lives.

Abuse 

  • Abuse from certain types of psychotropic and narcotic substances: Being under various psychotropic substances leads to an impediment of social intelligence, which leads to the emergence of perverse sexual inclinations.
  • Certain types of psychological disorders, such as manic-depressive syndrome and schizophrenia: The most common causes of kinks, for this reason, create an obsession with sexual experience and pleasure. For example, you are having sex only with virgins or desire a sexual affair with animals. The most common results of this are the manifestation of desires in sadism and masochism. 

Many kinks, desires, and fantasies resulting from those mentioned earlier and other factors do not deviate from the norm. We should consider these kinks as usual as long as they don’t harm and violate the law.

So if you get absolute pleasure from your desires and kinky fantasies, then take pride in your kink! Everyone needs sexual satisfaction. Scientists have proven that a person who is satisfied with their sex life has better mental health.

Take care of your psychological and physical health; do not give up the desire to be kinky. Join our community to meet more kinksters like you! Join Foxtail now!

4 Reasons Why It’s Okay To Be A Sex Worker

​”Why is it okay to be a sex worker”? This is a typical question asked by people who are newly aware of the profession. Sex work is legal in most countries, and the demand is growing tremendously. People in society, especially the conservative groups, claim that this work is degrading and even criminal. But do not worry, this kind of work is considered legitimate work in many countries and even in the United States. The benefits of giving consensual sexual services are too many to be ignored by many people. Here are some of the benefits of being a sex worker.

1. You can financially provide for yourself and your family when you are a sex worker.

Working as a sex worker can help you pay your tuition, repair your home, and even afford an extended holiday. Sex work can also help you get a steady and regular income to support your needs and your family’s needs. It can also provide financial stability for many who want to finish their education and career.



2. You get a sense of financial freedom from your job

There are no boundaries as to how much money you can earn as a sex worker. You can choose to work as much or as little as you want and when you want. You can choose to work day or night, and as long as you can find work, you will make as much money as you desire. This is one of the most appealing advantages of this job.

Being an erotic performer has been illegal in many places since the time of the Amsterdam Red Laws. However, this law is now obsolete due to the expansion and growth of human trafficking and organized crime. Many women who are trapped in the sex industry may not feel comfortable talking about their problems. However, many sex workers see other women, especially those in this industry, as role models.

In most countries, sex work is not against the law. Some countries, however, have laws that criminalize the buying and selling of sexual services. In some places, it is even considered to be immoral. Because of this, many women who have been trapped in the sex work industry may face serious charges. Those who run the brothel will also face prosecution. For this reason, many sex workers have been murdered or have gone missing. However, many women have been rescued from brokering and are now leading normal lives on the lighter side. Working as an erotic performer can also be seen as an acceptable alternative to living in undesirable conditions.


4. Many sex workers find their job to be rewarding and very satisfying.

Many sex workers go to great lengths to please their customers and get them satisfied. Sex work allows them to satisfy their clients and gives them the freedom to do so.  Giving sexual services can bring you lots of money, as well as great opportunities for social interaction and adventure. The freedom you experience being a sex worker can also lead to other exciting endeavours. After all, this kind of work wasn’t always about sex. It was about making a living and having a good time.



One of the best reasons to become a sex worker is that you will be able to help others. Most people who choose this line of work as a career choose a specific field of sex work. For example, some decide to become a Thai Girl translator and care for the Thai women trapped in the sex trade. Other women may choose to be domestic or Thai housekeepers.

If you are wondering, “why is it okay to be a sex worker?” Remember that most of the world is aware that there are people out there who offer sexual services. When you choose this line of work, you decide how to spend your days and your life. There is really nothing wrong with this, and in most cases is the only way a person can afford to support themselves. If these kinds of issues are important and you want to make an impact, join the help a sex worker-friendly foundation.

If you’re looking to have a conversation with others on this topic or other kink related topics, sign up on Foxtail. Satisfy your curiosity here with people who share common interests with you!