Swinging And Why It Is Exciting

Group sex has been practised for as long as humans have been sexing and is gaining more mainstream popularity in the 21st century. It is instrumental in connecting people with the same sexual desires. There are many reasons why swinging is a fun lifestyle choice. Couples try more open relationships to add adventure into their relationship, and couples who have lost their electricity might try to add more excitement and variety to their relationship. Swingers are just a fun and exciting group of people.

Couples or individuals may choose this lifestyle for its many benefits. It can be helpful to understand these benefits before deciding to get involved in the lifestyle. Swinging is not a new lifestyle. Many swingers have been together for decades or even longer. There are some advantages to dating couples and long-term swingers, and let me share those with you now. Swingers have been able to build solid and committed relationships because they work on these things. This lifestyle is a positive step forward in the direction of accepting one’s sexuality, human desires and create fulfilling relationships.

​​​Pros of Swinging​​

Let’s start with the pros of swinging. One advantage is that it allows the couple to enjoy the trust in their relationship and feel free. Swinging creates situations for couples to explore sexually with other couples, they are not bound by the usual rules of monogamy. This helps many people feel a sense of freedom and authenticity. In this day and age, many couples are no longer concerned with “owning” a person through typical monogamy. Instead, many happy couples are focused on honouring one another’s individuality within the union by participating in swinging and other sexual exploration.

Another advantage of swinging is that it allows for the exploration of attraction and sexuality. Many women married to men are interested in exploring their bi-curious fantasies after years of marriage with their husbands. The same can go for the husband as well!

Swinging is also just plain fun Swinger parties and lifestyle events are full of interesting people from all walks of life. You might be surprised who’s into the lifestyle once you begin to make friends in the community. There is no one stereotype of swinger. Swinger parties are also an opportunity for creative expression. Many parties are themed giving people a chance to dress up in sexy lingerie or the slutty costumes of their choice. No need to wait for Halloween!!

Cons of Swinging

Now, let’s talk about the cons of swinging. Swingers can’t just jump into it without giving it much thought. The only potential con for some people is that it takes time and effort between you and your partner to be involved in the swinger lifestyle. Swingers need to have a genuine desire to be in an open relationship paired with a commitment to effective communication in the relationship. It is common for feelings of jealousy to arise at first and to feel some different strange emotions from seeing your partner play with others. You can start slow and just observe others as you get more comfortable with the idea. If the lifestyle is for you, you will find yourself fantasizing about it and becoming more aroused by the idea of exploring with others sexually.

Remember there are different ways to swing! Like all kink activities, swinging requires consent. So, you and your partner decide what the limits are and can change them as you go. For example, at first, you can decide to “soft-swap” = playing with others without penetration, focusing on kissing, caressing, fondling and touching. Then you can move to a full swap = full penetration. Some couples also enjoy exploring their bi-curiosity while the other partners watch.

People who decide to adopt this lifestyle often find that it is fun for it brings people together. It helps couples connect, and build even more intimacy than before.

Why Do Couple Love This Lifestyle?

People swing because they feel happiness and fulfilment sharing in sexual experiences with others. Swingers come in different variations. Some are exploring in casual relationships, while others have been in their relationship for decades. Many swingers feel a sense of freedom and truly being themselves when they are at swinger parties and hanging out with their community.

Now to make your swinger’s party even more fun, why not use sex toys? According to credible research, sex toys can enhance pleasure and even improve bladder control. Don’t be shy to bring your sex toys to the party!!

The Bottom Line

Now that you understand why people may or may not try swinging, hopefully, you now understand why swingers choose their alternative lifestyle. They understand the effort and energy the lifestyle requires, but also the rewards. In summary, the advantages are endless. You must be ready to make a lifestyle change and commit to growth if you are going to start swinging!

So whether it’s romance or fetish that excites you, one thing’s for sure- swinging will blow your mind! Meet swingers in your area by joining our sex-positive community here. Visit our blog and read more interesting kinky stuff. Good or bad, we would love to hear your thoughts.

All About Mental Health in BDSM Dating

BDSM dating can have an effect on a person’s mental health. To understand, you must first understand what BDSM is.

What is BDSM Dating?

BDSM dating refers to dating in a subculture based on various rules and restrictions related to the interactions between people to meet sexual needs. BDSM stands for bondage, sadism, masochism, domination, and submission.

These concepts comprise three relationship pairs: BD – bondage and discipline, DS – Dominant- submissive, and SM – sadomasochism.

In general terms, BDs are time-limited sessions with a variety of practices and strict delineation of roles. Fixation, sensory deprivation, role-playing – all this refers to the BD. But, as a rule, this type of relationship with role-playing games and educational programs doesn’t go beyond the bedroom.

DS assumes a prolonged transfer of power over all or (more often) some areas of life. Example: The big boss of the house is subordinate to his wife in everything, including the need to wear thongs with flowers and go to the gym. Submission and domination can be both in the bedroom and extended a lifetime.

SM is a painful stimulus to get pleasure. The sadist likes to torture, and the masochist enjoys to suffer.

The main thing to understand is the fundamental principles of BDSM; without rules, it can turn from an exciting game into ordinary violence.

A basic rule of BDSM is SSC which means Safe, Sane, and Consensual.

How do you interpret SSC in BDSM?

Safe = SECURITY.

All parties involved will make every effort to preserve their physical and mental health.

Sometimes it is complicated to avoid injuries: ropes pinch nerves, and blood vessels, games with breathing are fraught with suffocation, illiterate flogging leads to skin damage and internal organs. Thus, the main thing that a sane sadist starts with is the study of anatomy and safety.

Sane = MIND.

Life is not limited to games, and the participants in the process are adequate. This means you must have responsibility for what is happening, even if you are in a lower role. For example, the principle of safety in SM is impracticable without a sober assessment of one’s own capabilities, regular monitoring of health status, and informing a partner about all potential problems.

Consensual = VOLUNTARY

Everything that happens, even the most painful and disgusting, happens according to an active and unequivocally expressed desire. This is one of the reasons why session scripts and practices are discussed in detail in advance. Otherwise, there can always be reticence, and game violence will turn into reality.

Who likes BDSM?

When psychologists began to study natural BDSM dating communities, a lot of exciting things turned out. People who practice BDSM are psychologically healthier than those around them. Typically they are more extroverted, more open to new experiences, less neurotic, and less prone to a range of mental disorders, for example, from depression to anxiety, paranoia, and (surprise!) pathological sadism.

According to various estimates, 20% of the world’s population is inclined to BDSM. These people use bondage, masks, and blindfolds. Unlike paraphilias like fetishism, BDSM attracts both women and men equally. Participation in BDSM, as a rule, does not cover the experience of childhood trauma and violence.

BDSM practices do not interfere, and in some cases, even help establish close and trusting relationships between partners.

Most people view BDSM as reckless, dangerous, and unhealthy, a phenomenon whose representatives are allegedly mentally ill people. However, this is actually not the case: BDSM is just a sexual preference that can benefit health.

BDSM Dating and Mental Health

Recent research on BDSM and its effects on the body has shown excellent results. Scientists find no evidence of harm caused by the psychosocial subculture of BDSM, but they are finding that it does have health benefits.

Funny games of dominance and submission

How do BDSM practices affect the psyche?

In addition, researchers note that such practices can have a stimulating effect on self-awareness. For example, they connect the practice and mindfulness meditation, known to have beneficial effects on mental and physical health and reduce anxiety.

Apparently, pain during BDSM practices helps focus attention on the sensations we are experiencing and immerses us in a meditative state and thereby helps to relieve tension.

Studies of people practising light BDSM practices did not reveal they have serious psychological problems. Moreover, in comparison with the control group, many respondents noted a higher level of subjective satisfaction with life. True, we are talking primarily about those who choose the dominant role or switch (they switch between dominant and submissive).

Those in the submissive (i.e., subordinate) position reported less life satisfaction compared to dominant people. This is another reason to always pay attention to the psychological state of the participants in the process – and if the practices are not enjoyable, they should definitely be abandoned.

Games of submission and domination require a certain level of intimacy. The willingness to trust a partner and allow him\her to hurt himself\herself a little (with the ability to stop at the first signal), as expected, increases the level of trust in a stable pair.

A slight fear develops into more excitement and interest in a partner.

How can BDSM help?

Fans of complex games claim that some perversions help eliminate anxiety, momentary worries, an endless stream of thoughts from which the head is spinning.

Playing BDSM games involves the person in specific spaces that affect the person’s state of consciousness.

What is sometimes called the “topspace” is a beautiful place characterized by focused attention, optimal performance, and loss of self-awareness. Try it yourself, see how much you will be focused on your partner and what is happening at the peak of arousal.

According to lovers of kinky sex, the whole room seems to disappear during their pleasures, leaving only the bed. Nevertheless, it is a poignant pleasure.

There is also an alternate state that most people know about as “subspace.” It is a light sense of submission. This condition is characterized by a decrease in pain, tension, and a return to complete peace and serenity.

If you have had problems with your nervous system, BDSM dating can be a pleasant way to relieve symptoms.

Another life hack: if a person suffers from heightened emotionality, spanking can be used for therapeutic purposes. How does it work? Impact pain creates the conditions for emotional release, for example, tears. This can be an effective but temporary solution.

Should you try BDSM? It Depends.

It would be best if you were more honest with yourself. Leave the imposed moral principles, and try for a moment to imagine yourself in the role of master or subordinate. Undoubtedly, many have experienced a slight excitement from just the thought of this, which is not surprising.

A person does not have sex for procreation but for pleasure, so why not get the most of it? Role-playing games, toys from a sex shop, submission, and domination – all this variety in bed will help you get new sensations previously unknown. So when should you try BDSM?

Long-term marriage in which people no longer feel the need to make love. This phenomenon is widespread everywhere, and it’s just that people have become boring to each other.

Lack of sex leads to moral and physical dissatisfaction, quarrels begin, and just everyday life becomes monotonous. To get a taste of life again, try BDSM.

Dissatisfaction with regular sex. Many people complain that they are not satisfied with the sex. So, it’s time not just to change the position but sexual intercourse as a whole.

As we have already found out, BDSM allows you to get more aroused and get more pleasure from sex than an ordinary act.

Stress and depression will go away if you use BDSM. Partners will be able to throw out negative energy during dominance and submission. By the way, the role doesn’t matter – dominants and submissives alike get rid of negativity, and gain pleasure.

So, what does BDSM mean?

This is a standard sexual practice used by many couples (polls have confirmed). So, nearly all people cannot have mental disorders (right?), which means that it is simply stupid to classify BDSM as a perversion. You have to ignore public opinion and give your desires to the fullest.

I recommend that you try this practice for a variety of relationships and mental relaxation. First, however, it is worth remembering a vital rule, BDSM is based on the voluntary consent of all parties involved.

To prepare for such an experience, resolve to participate and not be influenced by a partner. For more on the fun part of BDSM check out our post on “What make BDSM Fun”.

BDSM And Sexual Trauma – BDSM Blog

“Can interest in BDSM  arise from sexual trauma?” This is a common question, especially for those new to the lifestyle. They wonder whether their interest in being “in the mood” for BDSM is really genuine or influenced by their past. 

Well, let’s find out together! Shall we?

What is Sexual Trauma?

Trauma, particularly the one stemming from sex, can unconsciously fuel an exciting and potent sexual energy. Most people never experience any form of trauma in their lifetime, but some do. For example, sexual abuse survivors experience stress and anxiety. This can drive them to turn to pornography to escape the pain and stress. 

Sexual trauma can also lead someone to develop an intense interest in BDSM. If you have been the victim of some form of trauma or know someone who has, you can benefit from exploring the possibilities that BDSM offers.  

Does BDSM Cause Sexual Trauma?

One of the primary questions people ask about BDSM is how much can it hurt? In my experience, BDSM is a very intimate form of relationship. Some people view it as a form of slavery or a relationship between a master and slave. Others, however, view it as a romantic or sexual fantasy.

Regardless of what you view as the truth behind the question, one thing is true: trauma can bring a person into a state of “hyper-realism.” This state can be mentally and emotionally healing. It can lead to creativity and imagination. It can even lead to a desire for trauma. 

And once you begin to explore the possibilities that BDSM can offer, you may start to deeply understand the trauma that created your sexual interest in BDSM.

Does this mean that you should avoid sex because you are afraid of trauma? Of course not. If you have been abused as a child, threatened with violence or harm, or been the subject of ridicule because of your sexual orientation, then your sexuality can undoubtedly be tinged with trauma. Similarly, if you were the victim of rape as a child, or if you were the target of hate crimes, then your sexuality can also indeed be riddled with trauma. 

If you have faced any of these things in your life, my advice is to seek therapeutic help and work through them.

I can tell you that there are sane, informed professionals or experienced people in BDSM. They have been practising this lifestyle long enough to know what’s what and can offer genuine help to couples and individuals struggling with these issues. 

They can help you deal with your anxiety about exploring BDSM, and they can give you the tools to analyze it successfully. You can find them and know more about how they can help you on Foxtail.

BDSM Safe Practices During Scenes

There are risks in BDSM and Kinky Play. There’s no denying or escaping that fact, so this post isn’t about safe sex or the risks associated with certain activities. Instead, it’s about learning safe BDSM practices that guarantee the best experience with this kink play. 

If you are practising BDSM with informed consent and have the appropriate knowledge, you can co-create your desired scene. At times you will be pushing your body to its limits, and it is essential to be fully aware of what that means for you and your play partners. 

In BDSM, safety is a priority and should be the first topic to discuss before play can begin. SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual) and RACK  (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) are two acronyms in BDSM that refer to principles required for safety. It is inferred in BDSM that you will be doing things considered risky so when we are talking about safety in BDSM we mean “as safe as can be in a precarious situation.” These two mantras are well-known in the community and serve as a guideline for determining whether or not a particular activity is safe and agreed-upon.

Let’s learn what practices can ensure safety in BDSM play.

Safe Words Ensure BDSM Safety During Scenes

Safe Word is a word or a short phrase a person in a BDSM or play scene uses if the scenario becomes too intense. It is a crucial element of BDSM safe practices during play. A safeword is a phrase or word that is used to stop play immediately. It can be used if a scene/play/activity participant has been injured, is uneasy, overwhelmed, or emotionally troubled. Trauma and unexplored emotions can be triggered by intense play.

The sight of a male chastity device may be enough to push some people over the limit. Also, sometimes one of the partners may awaken intense and sometimes uncomfortable emotions or experiences during a scene. Those kinds of experiences must be dealt with before proceeding.

Short and Simple Safe Words

A safeword should be short. It shouldn’t be hard to recall and pronounce during difficult positions or intense scenes. Also, it shouldn’t be “stop” or “no” because these words are used often. I will add that, whenever playing a role in a scene, “no” is a sign to continue in most cases.

Instead, some individuals prefer the traffic light system, in which “green” means go ahead, “yellow” means pause or slow down, and “red” means stop. It’s critical to keep your safe word short and simple so that you can remember it throughout your BDSM scenario. For many submissives, being in scene provides a natural high.

This is called “subspace,” which may cause you to lose your capacity to communicate. You may also use a safe action like dropping the ball instead of a safe word. It may also be helpful if you can’t make out your safe word because you’re using a ball gag.

Dom can Use Safe Words, Too

If you’re the Dominant partner in a BDSM session, establishing a safe word is also beneficial for you. Typically people think about how intense and possibly painful it can be for the submissive, but the scene can be just as fierce for the Dominant. Contrary to popular belief, both the Dominant and the submissive have control in the scene and both can interrupt the play at any time they need to.

This is why it is crucial to have a safe word or a signal to stop if the Dom(me) needs a break. This can be especially helpful for newer Dom(me)’s who are learning their limits and bounds while leading BDSM scenes.


Physical Safety

In a BDSM scene, physical and emotional safety is paramount when there is the danger of drawing blood, choking, and any other possible bodily injury. It is necessary to provide a quick way out of things in an emergency. Cuffs should have easy access to a key, and heavy-duty scissors are a must.

While pressure is usually enjoyed, be careful not to tie anything too tight as it constricts and stops the circulation. Also, knowing key spots to avoid, like arteries are easily injured places on the body is a must when doing bondage. This is necessary when using restraining tools like rope, cuffs, etc.

Impact toys such as floggers and whips can cause bleeding and compromise BDSM best practices during scenes. Not only should you be concerned about disease transmission via fluids, but you should also consider the possibility of severe accident or injury if you target a body part with insufficient protection. For example, meatier parts like the buttocks and backs of the thighs are good targets, but going for the bare lower back might impair the kidneys.

It would also be best to treat open wounds as soon as possible. Whereas some people enjoy bruises, severe buttock bruises might make it challenging to sit following a scene. Make sure you have the appropriate tools for aftercare: do you need ice after an intense impact scene? Or bandaids for any open wounds?

Important Tip on BDSM

An important BDSM tip is to avoid binding somebody’s neck without the proper tools (like this collar) as this might result in asphyxiation, which was the cause of the death of David Carradine, an actor who was apparently into autoerotic asphyxiation.

If you’re playing with more than one partner, make sure all toys are clean and sterilized. Porous materials like leather may retain germs lasting days. If used on several people, this tends to spread illnesses. On the other hand, some materials you may easily sterilize are glass, steel, plastic, and silicone.

The Final Words

Remember that kinky play can be fun and more enjoyable if followed by BDSM safe practices. Don’t let an avoidable mishap ruin your scene! Read and learn more aspects of BDSM on our site. You can also connect with other like-minded individuals in the Meet Others section.