Why Do People Practice Pain as a Form of Pleasure

Either severe or damaging stimuli can cause pain. The International Society of Pain describes pain as an unpleasant sensation that can cause the same or similar symptoms as a physical injury or other bodily or emotional tissue damage. Pain is a sign of underlying issues in a medical diagnosis. Pain pushes people to leave traumatic situations to protect and heal injured body parts.

We make a difference between good pain and bad pain. Bad pain indicates that something is not right, something we have to pay instant attention to. Then there’s good pain which is enjoyable.

For example, when the shoulder starts pulling during bondage, that’s potentially unsafe, so we release it.” For human beings, then, it appears that pain and pleasure have always been intertwined.

This article explores the reasons why people engage in BDSM and its benefits. To meet others who know more about pain and any related BDSM topic check out Foxtail.


It has always been assumed that pleasure can lead to healthy behaviour, whereas pain has always had the opposite impact. Evidence in both the pain research area reveals anatomical subtypes of pain and satisfaction share extensive similar traits. Recent animal research demonstrated that opioids and dopamine could modulate pleasure and pain. Understanding how pain-based rewards interact with one another is critical for reducing stress and boosting general well-being.

In this environment, the pain might induce altered states of consciousness that are comparable to those experienced during mindfulness meditation. Understanding the methods through which pain can be experienced as pleasure helps to demystify and, hopefully, destigmatize the role of pain in BDSM.

Pain and pleasure

Pain and happiness, theorists thought, where two ends of a spectrum of emotions. Evidence substantially supports the neurochemical links in neurotransmitter pathways that alter sensation and enjoyment.

BDSM is about more than just suffering. Many people indulge in BDSM for mental stimulation. Dominant and submissive dynamics allow us to perform roles that we would not be able to play otherwise. Participating in a BDSM is also an excellent method to release pent-up feelings like tension.

Pain and pleasure share the same neurobiology.

The limbic and prefrontal regions of the brain — the exact parts stimulated by passionate love affairs and music. It’s a post-pain surge akin to the high of morphine or heroin, which connect to the opioid receptors in the brain. Runners get a rush after a long run, but what happens in the brain?

Pain and pleasure are potent motivators of behaviour and have long been opposed. Emerging evidence from the pain and reward study disciplines suggests that the anatomical bases of painful and pleasant feelings are strikingly similar. Recent molecular imaging and animal investigations have shown that the opioid and dopamine systems are essential in controlling pain and pleasure. Understanding the mutually inhibiting effects of pain and reward processing on one another and the brain mechanisms underlying such modulation is critical for reducing unnecessary suffering and promoting well-being.

We know that pain and pleasure are mainly based on research with rats and primates. An electrode is inserted during Deep Brain Stimulation surgery using a stereotactic frame. Deep brain stimulation is performed. Deep brain stimulation is the electrical stimulation of deep brain structures through electrodes implanted in the brain. On the other hand, the experimenters observed activity in an area that generally responds to rewards such as money, lovely food, and sex. The nucleus accumbens is located closer to the front of the brain than the previously identified pain sensors.

Painful pleasures and pleasurable pleasures

What was your most recent scream? This was my last stay in a hotel room in France. When the big day arrived, I packed the baggage and tried to unplug the plug. It was lent to me by an upscale hotel, and it is ugly and has metal prong holes at random places that I must have messed up because it left me flat on my back and shaking. The body’s cry is excruciatingly painful. Surprisingly, the reverse of pain emerges in us: deep satisfaction, pleasant surprise, and intense delight. Are you familiar with videos of Beatles fangirls at concerts? The children screamed a lot.

When we are in pain, we shout. But, strangely, we also scream for the polar opposite of pain: extreme pleasure, happy surprise, and immense excitement. Have you seen the movies of 1960s fangirls in the presence of the Beatles? They practically scream. When we are in pain, we shout. But, strangely, we also cry for the polar opposite of pain: extreme pleasure, happy surprise, and immense excitement. Have you seen the movies of 1960s fangirls in the presence of the Beatles? They practically scream.

Involvement of dopamine and opioids in pleasure and discomfort

The ventral tegmental region (VTA) and substantial neurons that project to the ventral striatum compose the mesolimbic dopamine pathway. This mechanism mediates pleasure and goal-directed movement in response to rewarding inputs. However, while dopamine is necessary for reward processing, it is now apparent that it is not responsible for the hedonic sensation of reward “liking.” But instead of the instrumental behaviour of reward-driven activities—phasic dopamine functions as an incentive salience signal in the reinforcement learning process.

Pain is an indulgence that is unique to humans.

This is an indulgence that is unique to humans. Scientists have attempted and failed to instil a taste for chilli in rats. Animals have been taught to self-harm, but only through ‘positive reinforcement,’ which leads animals to correlate pain with a reward. “In general, when an animal has a negative experience, it avoids it.”

Pain researchers identify three concepts: nociception, pain, and suffering. The Humane Society of the United States, an animal rights organization, recognizes this designation. Consider the scenario of a patient undergoing surgery under general anaesthesia to comprehend nociception better. As this person’s skin and organs are being cut, pain sense nerves dutifully record the damage and convey it to the spinal cord, sending it to the brain.

Sadism, masochism and sadomasochism

Sadism differs from masochism in that sadism frequently entails imposing pain on the body. Physical pain, such as hurting someone else, or psychological suffering, such as humiliation, can be examples.

Sadism is the practice of deriving pleasure by causing pain and suffering to another person. Sadism may or may not be sexual. A sadist is someone who practices sadism. Sadists can make harsh demands, with disobedience punished with various BDSM implements. Rough sex, takedowns, choking, spanking, and other forms of sadism in the bedroom are all possible.

Masochism is inflicting pain and suffering on oneself to achieve pleasure. Masochism may or may not be sexual. A masochist is someone who engages in masochism.

Sadomasochism is the practice of receiving pleasure by inflicting pain on oneself and having pain inflicted on oneself. Sadism is almost invariably sexual. Sadomasochism is practised by someone who is sadomasochistic.

The ‘runner’s high’ may have helped our forefathers overcome the pain of a protracted hunt.

The experience is, known as “the runners high”, is an outstanding example of how pain may increase pleasure. Runners experience euphoria after great physical exertion, linked to the creation of opioids, a neurochemical generated in reaction to pain.

However, the hippocampus will not work until the brainstem control centre is activated. In response to pain signals, the seahorse brain produces endogenous endorphins in the body. The protein binds to opioid receptors in the brain, inhibiting the release and storage of substances that impact pain signal transmission. Endorphins excite the limbic and prefrontal brain regions, influenced by passionate love-related events and music. It has the same effect as morphine or heroin, which connect to neurotransmitter receptors

I felt like I had a swarm of hornets stinging me at the same time – Jason McNabb

The Bhut Jolokia, sometimes known as the ghost pepper, has a Scoville rating exceeding 500,000, or 200-400 times spherical. It is the hottest world, and anyone who consumes it will most likely be in excruciating pain. What’s the aim of this? What are the causes behind this? It is a well-known saying to “discover pleasure rather than pain for pleasure.”

Possible psychological benefits

Finding pleasure in pain feelings has a profound psychological component. To begin with, a person’s perception of pain can be strongly influenced by the context in which the painful stimuli occur—in most, if not all, circumstances, experiencing pain from a knife cut in the kitchen or discomfort from surgery is bound to be unpleasant.

However, when a human being is experiencing physical pain in the setting of good emotions, their experience of pain reduces. Reliable Source. So, when having sex with a trusted partner, the good feelings involved with the act may help to mask discomfort sensations caused by hard play.

Simultaneously, experiencing pain during sex or sensual play can have unanticipated positive psychological effects, the most important is interpersonal connection.

Two studies, the findings of which were published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior in 2009, discovered that individuals who engaged in consensual sadomasochistic acts as part of erotic play experienced a more vital link with their partners and an increase in emotional trust. The analyst concluded in their study paper:

Play’s potential side effects

People might suffer from unpleasant psychological impacts after physical play, regardless of their level of experience or how carefully they set healthy limits for a romantic scenario.

When women go through their menstrual cycle, their levels of pain-related activity fluctuate more than they do when they don’t. The researchers are preparing to conduct additional experiments and analyses to pinpoint the causes of these female-specific changes.

Chronic pain affects both men and women and is a persistent ache that persists for more than six months. Anxiety, depression, and suicide ideation are real dangers for such persons. In their quest for treatment, they see a variety of specialists with varying degrees of success. The doctors feel irritated when they are unable to help.

Ways To Experiment pleasure With Pain

An important safety note first, though.

Never experiment with pain, sensation play, or BDSM without consulting your partner. Make sure that you are aware of each other’s limitations (more on that in this article on how to nominate someone). Before diving into the pool’s deep end, test the level of agony that each of you can bear. Also, always, always agree on a safe word ahead of time. Participating in pain play without one is exceedingly harmful. Everything must come to a crashing halt as soon as that safeword is stated. With these standards in place, you’ll have a far better chance of having a good time!

  • Spanking
    You’ve already stated that you enjoy spanking, so let’s get started! Spanking is typically applied to the butt cheeks. This is an ideal location because it is fleshy, and there is no risk of accidentally striking a bone or joint. Plus, getting a good swat on the ass may be hot!
    There are also a variety of spanking toys available to help you enhance your spanking game. You may tickle your lover with the silky suede strands or whip it for a hefty smack with this LELO suede whip. This paddle has a soft fuzzy side that produces relatively moderate spanks and a leather side that makes a more powerful sensation.
  • Choking
    Choking is more about dominance and power than pain, yet it is still a popular technique. When choking someone, you must be very careful not to use too much power. There’s no need to be too intense with this one because the person being choked will feel vulnerable straight immediately. It’s also critical to squeeze the sides of the throat rather than the front of the throat. The sides are far more malleable, whereas the show is more prone to cause choking or harm. Before attempting it on a partner’s neck, practice on your own.
  • Cut Off Your Sight
    Sensation play is all about increasing the intensity of your sensations, usually by shutting off your touch with other senses. Sight is one of the most straightforward senses to experiment with. Have your partner blindfold you, or try having sex in complete darkness. You won’t be able to see what they’re going to do next, and the suspense will drive you insane!
  • Pulling Hair
    You know how sensitive the scalp can be if you’ve ever had someone run their hands through your hair! In the middle of intercourse, you can ask your lover to give your hair a firm tug. This is also effective in Doggystyle. Your spouse should take your full ponytail in their palm and tug it tight. Pulling your hair at once ensures that none of your hair is pulled out.
  • Experiment With Various Forms Of Touch
    You can also have your lover stimulate the surface of your skin with various things. Feathers or a silk scarf can be attractive. The bristles of a wooden hairbrush might feel fantastic against your skin.
  • Get Restrained
    Your companion can help you restrain your arms and legs. You won’t be able to move, and you’ll be entirely dependent on them. I recommend using soft restraints to avoid injuring your wrists or ankles. A scarf or tie can suffice in a pinch, or you may purchase this incredible restraint device under your mattress.

Are pleasure and pain connected?

Researchers revealed that pain could originate within the brain while also providing pleasure. This will make you giggle and may help you comprehend chronic pain better. I’ve seen some promising results.

Human sexuality’s deep and intricate connection between pleasure and pain is well-documented. This polarity should arouse our interest. As a result, we tend to avoid situations that we believe would cause us distress. Our predisposition to avoid painful memories of sex can be replaced with a capacity for curiosity, which has the potential to unlock a hitherto untapped power for pleasure.

When pain becomes pleasure, what do you name it?

Those who hold masochistic views experience agony in their sexuality and are turned off by it. When someone observes masochism, he believes it will make him joyful amid suffering. Masochism is the polar opposite in nature, and it entails shutting down those who hurt them. Masochists are the type of people who enjoy getting harmed, albeit not significantly.

Why do we feel pleasure from pain?

When someone is in pain, they might employ substances in their system to cope. When there is a hot wings competition, endorphins, anandamide, and adrenaline are released, causing heat. They contend that feelings of despair days after erotic activity correspond to a loss of the “peak experience” of rough sexual play, which provides a human with psychological reprieve at the moment.

For example, researchers compared the post-Olympic sadness experienced by Olympic athletes to the high provided by the mix of pleasure and agony at this same now, which may be similar to the highs experienced by performing athletes.

To avoid or cope with feeling low after an intense high during sensual play, a person and their partner or partners must carefully prepare aftercare, both physically and psychologically, and discuss individual wants and concerns in detail.

Whatever human beings choose to spice up their sex life, the crucial word is always consent. All participants in a sexual experience must provide an explicit and enthusiastic agreement for all aspects of the interaction. They must be allowed to withdraw if they are no longer interested or willing.

According to research, dreams involving unorthodox or brutal sexual play are a pervasive trusted Source, and some people opt to take the fantasy out of their heads and turn it into a reality.

If you want to branch out from “vanilla” sex and explore various tastes, that’s OK; there’s nothing wrong with you. Just make sure you stay safe and only do things you enjoy and are comfortable doing.

Conclusion Thoughts

What is evident is that good health and happiness are not all about maximizing pleasure and reducing pain, despite the popular media’s emphasis on this. Concentrate on what’s real and what’s manageable to achieve your goals. Many people may experience anxiety, irritation, or motiveless tears due to these BDSM forms. BDSM sufferers, in particular, need aftercare that includes emotional connection and communication to counteract this.

If you want to meet people nearby into pain & pleasure, visit Foxtail. Foxtail’s members are looking for Fetish, BDSM, and other sex-positive relationships. Create a free account And don’t be afraid to express your thoughts or questions in the comments section!

Is Swinging The Opposite of Monogamy?

Whether you can consider swinging while staying monogamous is a question that many curious or swinger couples ask. It’s a fair question because we all want to know what it takes to be a swinger. We also want to know if monogamy and swinging can somehow co-exist. After all, being a swinger does have its benefits. People might wonder about swinging as a lifestyle that is being engaged in sexual acts either for fun or pleasure. This lifestyle is highly glowering upon by many in society and by many in the law as well. However, swingers do exist, and it would not be surprising to find more swingers today than ever before.

What does it mean to be a swinger?

Swingers have different sexual desires.  Some are looking for that one serious partner, while others are open-minded about casual sex or multiple partners. For some, swinging as a lifestyle means casual flings and discreet encounters. But others are looking for a committed, long-term relationship. And this is where monogamy and swinging can get tricky.

Some swingers do choose to remain monogamous when they first start swinging. This is because the relationship with their swingers may be a secret. And the fact that their lifestyle is private keeps them from coming out and ruining the reputation of their swingers. Some may even choose to remain monogamous even though their first swinging experience did not go as planned. After all, even with a successful first date, they may still want to remain in the swinger’s bedroom.

Some swingers go the extra mile and decide to remain true to their swinging principles to stay monogamous while swinging. They feel uncomfortable with the notion of casual sex and would remain true to their primary sexual orientation. The fact is that many swinger couples will remain in their relationships because they love their partners. Enough to believe that there is more to them than a desire to procreate. Many choose to remain in their relationships because they have reached a level of intimacy. Where having sexual activity outside of the relationship would be uncomfortable. And, yes, some swingers choose to remain monogamous because they find it a more appealing trait than the forbidden thrill.

Benefits of Being a Swinger

One benefit of swinging while you are still monogamous is that you will have more options. Even if you are interested in entering into a swinging or polyamory relationship, you can still stumble upon someone with whom you can fall in love, get married, or enter into a long-term relationship. However, if you are interested in swinging to have multiple partners, monogamy is clearly not for you.

Let’s take it at face value. Can swinger couples get away with not being sexually attracted to each other? I think this is a definite yes. The fact is that society (and, by extension, pornography) has taught us that sexual attraction is a crucial aspect of a relationship. Therefore, swingers can’t stay monogamous if they feel like they need to pursue “one-night-stands” as a sexual activity. It’s just not possible.

However, we can also look at this from a more pragmatic point of view. When you think about it, having sex one time does not necessarily translate into long-term monogamy. After all, what happens when the one-night stand doesn’t pan out? And would the relationship become more than just a one-time fling if that one-night stand was something more permanent?

If you are considering entering a swinging relationship. But want to stay monogamous. You must be sure to have the desired monogamy. If not, then don’t even consider swinging at all. You must be ready to be monogamous. If you’re ready to explore swinging and you feel this type of relationship can be a way to get what you want out of your relationship. Be sure to talk with your partner about this before you do anything.

Next, honesty can be one of the key factors in determining whether you can stay in your relationship or not. Swingers often have affairs to meet new people. This often brings problems into the relationship; however, if you are honest with your partner about your intentions, your partner will be much more likely to trust you and open up to you.

Final words

Once you are ready to open the door to your swinging lifestyle, you need to consider your local laws rea adult entertainment. Some areas have strict rules about what is acceptable in their bars, and others may have no rules. Also, consider meeting someone locally. If so, then the swinger club may be the place for you to go. However, remember that there can be other adult clubs in your area that you can check out as well.

Overall, you’ll have to do your homework and evaluate your situation. It’s always best to start with the “safe” club, but if that doesn’t work, then you’ll have to move onto the “naughty” club – who knows, you may find the right swinger club for you! Swingers love to explore new sexual possibilities. The swinger lifestyle can provide a fun, exciting, intimate experience – even for the swinger who is monogamous!

Swingers Party: How to Enjoy Your First Sex Party

The most effective Kundalini Postures

In our previous posts, we explained Kundalini Energy and Kundalini Yoga. Kundalini Yoga is a practice dedicated to strengthening and improving our nervous system. If you seek the most effective Kundalini Postures, you are in the right place.

We will show you the Kundalini postures to help you clear and concentrate the mind and balance your body.

Preparation for Kundalini Yoga

Start with 30 seconds or five deep breaths for your first time, and work up to 3 minutes for each exercise. Doing this provides time for bloodstream oxygen and chemical changes. Watch out for these super-effective Kundalini Postures.

1. Kundalini Fire Breath Posture

Breath of fire is the first Kundalini Yoga posture. It is a powerful and detoxifying pranayama technique that heats the body as one inhales and breathes through the nose.

Breath of fire will detoxify your body, oxygenate your blood, and strengthen your plexus solar chakra. Solar Plexus Chakra is the seat of our determination and willingness, allowing us to continue the fixed (sometimes very difficult) practice or goal of the Kriya.

Due to the detoxifying nature of the breath and the chemical changes in the body, dizziness can occur. Focusing the eyes behind your eyebrows and drinking a glass of water afterward reduces this dizziness.

Trying it:

Inhale to push your belly out with gentle, deliberate strength. Go ahead to draw your stomach and back on exhale and expel your breath with the same gentle, deliberate power.

To learn more about the breath of fire pose, watch this video.

2. Ego Eradicator Pose

This simple but super effective yoga pose strengthens and purifies the lungs. It also opens the heart and connects us to the higher realms. The exercise balances the brain’s two hemispheres. It then brings mental clarity that quiets the negative mind.

Trying it:

This pose starts from Easy Pose, so here is a video of doing that asana pose.

While sitting in Easy Pose, flex your fingers at the middle knuckle so the pads of your fingertips rest where the palms meet the base of the fingers.

Place your thumbs in the sky, and then spread your arms over your head by 160 degrees. Concentrate your eyes to the Third Chakra of the Eye, and then start your Fire Breath.

To learn more about the ego eradicator pose, watch this video.

3. Kundalini Flexes Spinal (Seated Cat-Cow Pose)

Yogi Bhajan once said, “You are as old as the flexible backbone.” A stiff spine can disrupt the spinal fluid flow, stimulate aging, and reduce your digestive system efficiency.

Practicing it:

Grab your knees or front ankle with both hands at Easy Seated Pose and then bring awareness to the center of your heart

If you keep your eyes closed, breathe in. Then when you look up and pull your heart toward Cow Pose, exhale as you round your spine to Cat Pose.

To learn more about the seated cat-cow pose, watch the following video.

4. Kundalini Sufi Grind Posture

The spinal movements we made at Seated Cat-Cow mainly target the lower backbone and the lumbar region. On the other hand, the Kundalini Sufi Grind Posture focuses on your chest (or middle) backbone.

Trying it:

Rest your hands on your knees in an Easy Pose.

Circle your thoracic spine and abdomen counterclockwise, and churn. Afterward, inhale as you move forward and exhale as you move backward.

5. Twist Shoulder Pose

The twist shoulder pose is a great exercise for the mobility of the cervical spine, which facilitates tension and rigidity around your back, shoulders, and neck. Your breath opens your lungs and lifts them, creating immense energies that strengthen your aura and enhance the body’s energy.

Practicing it:

Place your left fingertips on the left shoulder and do the same on your right side. Keeping your elbows in line with your shoulders and parallel to the ground, begin twisting left and right. Inhale left and exhale right

Vibrate the mantra Sat Nam in your head as you twist (Sat left, Nam right). Allow your head to naturally follow the movements of your spine. Vibrate the mantra, Sat Nam, as you twist in your head (Sat left, Nam right). Finally, allow your head to follow the movements of your spine naturally.

Check out this video to learn more about the twist shoulder pose.

6. Kundalini Frog Posture

This exercise tones, forms, and strengthens the lower body while offering cardiovascular training. The energy stimulated in the lower chakras is then pushed up into the higher chakras.

Practicing it:

Stand on your toes, feet at 45 degrees, skulls and knees tucked deeply to the side, hands on the floor.

Straighten your knees to the sky, keep your head low and your hands to the floor and heels to touch. Then bend back to the starting position as you exhale, lift your head and drop your hips.

Continue with strong breathing quickly and then come to your nose with feet on the floor and take five long, deep breaths. Then feel the energy of your beet and higher chakras.

7. The Pose of the Archer

The attitude is excellent to promote willpower, determination, and clarity of desire. You will strengthen your hips, your quadriceps, your shoulders, and your core.

Trying it:

Start at Mountain Pose (a simple standing pose with the feet together and the body tall and strong, standing vertically upright). You can watch the following video to learn how to perform the mountain pose.

Then step back on your left foot to make sure both feet are flat on the floor. Make a fist with both hands in front and press together with your palms. Hold your elbow high, pull the left arm back (like you pull the bow back), keep the left shoulder and the elbow high.

Focus your eyes in front of you on your right thumb. Take your legs down and feel strong and bold like a warrior. Try it with a long deep breath and fire breath.

To learn more about the archer pose, watch the following video.

The Bottom Line

These Kundalini Yoga Kriyas create a balanced mind and body. If you try something new, whether it’s something you’re unsure of or want to try for years, approach it with an open heart and open mind.

The guidance here is for you to feel and experience! Try these kriyas for your own sake, connect to your body, notice how you feel, and let us know what happens (in the comments below, we are happy to hear from you!). Consider this quote from Yogi Bhajan as a last thought:

“Nothing in you can be more valuable than your relationship with your own consciousness.”

I hope you enjoyed my short guide regarding the most effective Kundalini poses. If you like to read more information about Kundalini Yoga, feel free to check out our site. You can also connect with other like-minded individuals in the Meet Others section.

Telltale Signs You Might Be A Swinger

Swingers battle lots of stigmas and stereotypes associated with the lifestyle. This is why many swingers keep their choices private. So someone who is swinger-curious might be at a loss with who to ask about the lifestyle. Never fear! Foxtail is here to help you out with your sexual quandary. If you are curious about swinging and are wondering whether you have it you to try it, keep reading.

Swingers love a themed party. 

Once you’re in the lifestyle, you can always find parties and events where swingers gather to socialize, tell juicy tales of adventure, find new partners, and chat about their fetishes. All while under a blacklight getting glow painted or wearing head to toe lace. This is very common, and most swingers would probably describe the parties as fun and enjoyable. Swingers love a good themed event to dress sexy for (or get naked for). If you go to just one or two of these parties, you will probably realize how much they are all about relaxation, sharing, and sex-positive communication while expressing yourself and just plain feeling cute. Compliments abound at swinger parties. You’ll see what I mean. :)

Fantasies about group sex.

Monogamy is lovely, but so are non-traditional relationship structures! It is okay if you want to have sex with other people, experience group sex, see your partner have sex with someone else, or explore your sexual curiosity! You can have all of those fantasies and still be committed to your relationship. Many couples say that swinging further enhances their intimacy and happiness together. Non-traditional, am I right?

Are you truly a swinger or is it just fantasy?

Some people wonder whether they can be swingers or if they’re just having sexual fantasies that are meant to stay in their heads, not their beds. The truth is that fantasies and feelings are just part of being human and sexual development. Even though you can have such fantasies never act on them, it does not mean that they are not real!

Feelings, especially about sex, can sometimes develop into actions. First, try talking about it with your partner. Discuss how it might feel to explore your relationship, share the fantasy with them. Let them know you don’t need to act on it yet, you’re just curious about the wet dream! Creating a safe space to explore your fantasy together will help you figure out if it’s really right for your relationship.

Final Thoughts

Truly discovering the swinger in you can be achieved by sharing your swinger fantasies with your partner and looking for others within the swinging community to chat with. You can find lots of swinging cuties in our sex-positive community here.

Visit our blog today to explore more. Good or bad, leave a comment below. We appreciate your thoughts.

Femdom Blog: Discover Your Inner Dominant

Femdom members from our community and other femdom blogs report that dominance in BDSM refers to a person’s preference for a lifestyle in which they are dominant over another person, a sub or a submissive. The dom takes the lead in a relationship and acts as their sub’s superior in private and public settings. Typically males play Doms, Kings, Masters, and so on, while females or domes play Queen, Dommes, Mistress, Empress, and Goddess roles. But of course ALL genders are welcome to play either. All you need to remember are two elements; trust and confidence. Submissive’s trust in dominant and dominant’s confidence in being a dom is vital.

This post will help you discover your inner dominant nature by following some of these tips.

Confidence is Key!

While collars and chastity devices are useful, there is a lot more to being dominant. Sometimes all it takes is a simple facial expression or a glance to convey authority and force. And THAT is your primary objective. You’ll become more in touch with your inner dominance over time, and you’ll have a greater understanding of how to act in front of your partner. The only thing that matters is that everyone engaged has a nice time and enjoys themselves.

Domme with her submissive. Source: Femdom blog

Dress Sexy!

Several members of femdom blogs and community point out it’s always crucial to look attractive and exude a commanding aura and attitude. That isn’t a hidden fact. It should be evident who is in command of everything in a relationship, and one of the easiest ways to do so is to dress sexy.

You may remind your sub that you are the Mistress or the Master by dressing in gorgeous, sexy apparel. If you are a domme, you can start with corsets or bustiers. These two sensual pieces of lingerie are highly popular among amateur sadomasochists. However, if you want to discover your inner sensualist, then you better put them on now! Cupping your breasts with stockings or garters will also turn some heads but can leave them feeling sore from the rubbing.

Never Hesitate to give Orders or Punishment!

It would be best to practice giving commands when you have worked out how to be more confident. Giving orders or commands to your submissive is a vital aspect of being a dominant. These might differ from person to person, but every relationship requires you to exercise your power as a Mister or Mistress.

When you find your Pleasure Zone, Keep it there!

Some femdom blog members find that BDSM is great because it is a hands-on, exciting and intimate way to please their partners. However, if you are someone in public places, especially those you would not choose to be in with strangers, such as grocery stores, parks, and the like, you might find yourself out of your comfort zone. To make matters worse, when you are out in public with strangers, you may feel nervous, and your heart rate may increase.

Find New Ways to Please your Partner!

There are a variety of ways that you can be sexually pleasing to your partner. Some people prefer to be kissed on the face, while some prefer to be tongued or pinched on their nipples. Some like to be fingered while masturbating, while others enjoy a more hands-on approach while they wait for their master to get ready. The key here is to get to know your sub more and more and find what makes them tick.

Discover More Ideas

Instead of running for the phone book or looking through the local paper for an excellent place to find people from whom you can gain more experience and who are willing to teach you how to be the best dom you can ever be, you should consider signing up on a website where you can find them. You have to look in the right place, and we can help you with that too. 

Feel free to check out our site to discover similar posts. You can also connect with other like-minded individuals on a kinky dating site.

How To Make Your Sub Happy: 4 Sex Skills To Keep Them Coming Back

Sex skills are essential in BDSM play. Sensual play is finding its way into the mainstream, with studies showing advantages like reducing stress and better relationships among couples. From gentle tickles to extreme nipple torture, BDSM has evolved through time, but the basis of a BDSM relationship is the connection between the Dom and Sub.

Tips on Making Your Sub Happy

If you are a Dom and looking for a way to keeping your Sub happy and coming back, you might want to consider these tips.

1. Use Your Mouth to Give Shivers All Over

Your mouth can inflict more excitement or arousal than any other area of your body. You can do numerous things to your partner’s body and various locations you can do it, whether you do it by licking, sucking, or biting.

Even if the part you chose is not that sexually sensitive, biting will have the same impact as scratching, but on a different level.

2.   Grope, Pin, or Grind 

Grope your partner as if you are claiming every inch of them as your property. Do not be hesitant. If you want something, take control and snatch them. They’ll get a sense of helplessness that’ll boost arousal.

You can pin them on the couch, against the wall, on the bed, hunched over a table or counter. If nothing else is available, the floor will have to do. This behavior is common in Primal Play where ‘take downs’ are more common. Whatever you do, keep in mind that this is not to attack your sub, but just another way of claiming them to be yours and no one else’s.

These kinds of sex skills allow you to exhibit your true alpha nature.

3.  Let Them Pleasure You

Just because you’re in control doesn’t imply you’re the only one who should make all the moves. You can let them kneel on the floor and tell them to give you pleasure. If they are lying on their back, move around, so you’re over their head and urge them to keep making those sexy sounds.

Keeping them occupied, this is key to keep them interested.

4. Control Their Orgasms

You may use this in various ways, like teasing, delaying, or repeatedly causing them to orgasm. Make them beg for it as you draw it out, this will ensure a mind-blowing climax.

On the other hand, you can also tell your sub when they should cum. This usually requires knowing enough about your submissive and knowing when they are ready. If yoursub sees you as the master of their orgasm, you’ll have a control over their mind you never imagined possible.

Participating in an intense D/s play session may be emotionally and physically draining for a submissive, leaving them weary and experiencing “sub drop.”

Mastering and freely giving aftercare to your sub, from communication to hugging to caring for their body, is one of the best ways to ensure they stay happy and keep coming back to you.

For more tips on managing and enjoying a BDSM relationship, you can check out our blog! You can also visit our shop for BDSM products to add spice to your sexual activities.

How To Be A Submissive

Well, I’m just going to assume that you are a newbie sub and wondering how an excellent submissive behaves. And I guess you are not familiar with the entire BDSM lifestyle and wondering how to satisfy and please your Master. Well, by doing your homework, you’re off to a good start!

Do you have what it takes to be a good submissive? Do you obey orders strictly like a well-behaved little bitch and let your master to use you as long as they like, or is it more complicated than that? If you want to know more, continue reading!

What Does Being Submissive Mean?

Submissive, often referred to as a sub, are sexual participants who voluntarily hand over some or all of their control to the dominant partner. This type of partnership is often referred to as a Domination/Submission (D/s) relationship in the BDSM community.

Submissive being dominated

Subs are sometimes referred to as “bottoms,” and their leading partner is the “top.” The sub can classify as any gender or sexuality. In LGBTQI+ relationships, gender is irrelevant, and one partner can still choose to take the dom role while the other takes the sub role.

Being submissive can mean different things to different people. To be submissive is to obey or yield to someone else. It may also involve various tasks given by the top. By submitting themselves to their dominant, subs enjoy pleasure from the knowledge that they are pleasing their dom.

If you want to start this kind of relationship without prior knowledge or experience, I would suggest you have a long talk about boundaries and your exceptions in a BDSM relationship. Try creating a BDSM contract and having negotiations with your dom.

What makes a Good Submissive

Every person is different, so are submissives. Many things can contribute to being a good submissive, and it is a personal development that occurs within each submissive. Having the right person to help make the journey can help accomplish the road for a submissive, but there are certain features found in many successful submissive.

Woman Being Submissive

If you aim to be a good and successful sub, we prepared some essential things that you need to keep in mind.

Learn What Drives Your Dom Crazy

To be a good submissive, you need to spend some time learning what drives your dom crazy —like knowing their fetishes and kink. It is essential to understand how to please your dom well. Understanding what gets the dom aroused will enable you to focus your efforts on doing the right things. Repeat this process to understand what annoys them about submissives or generally frustrates them in the bedroom so that you can avoid making any mistakes.

Express Your Preferences and Limits

If you are hesitant, you should explain to your dom what you would like to try and what you would not want to try under any circumstances — this is called your hard limit. One example of a hard limit is breath play. Hard limits do not have to be permanent, and you can change them in the future. Having a hard limit does not mean you cannot fully submit yourself to your dom; it just keeps both of you safe and happy.

Prepare Your Body and Environment

It is essential to ensure that your body is preparing for any activities you agreed with your dom. These activities can mean many different things like tied, gagging, and spanking.

Change Your Way of Thinking

To be a submissive, you need to learn to change your mindset completely. It may take some time to determine what to do, when, and how to respond to the needs of your dom — this process needs continuous reinforcement. There are cases that some submissives will undergo training led by their dom to prepare them psychologically before anything physical happens.

Request Permission

Being with your dom for a while will get you a bit comfortable and relaxed, but you must never try to do things impulsively. Always seek permission before you do anything to or with your dom — before you touch him or anything you want to do.

Surprise your Dom

It may seem unreasonable to surprise your dom when you have the rules to ask for permission before doing anything else. However, good submissives recognize the difference between a good surprise and a bad surprise. One example is giving a romantic or sexual service that you do not usually offer, such as a massage or making their favorite food or drink.

Ready To Accept Punishment

A D/s relationship begins with outlined the rules and the consequences when you break them. It is essential that you readily accept the punishment if you violate these rules. It is also needed for you to respond in the way your dom wants you to — to cry and beg them to stop and some not to utter a word.

Don’t Get Jealous

Although the common is to have just one submissive, it’s not unheard of that dom desires to have multiple submissives. One reason for this is because each person can cater to a different fetish. Do not get jealous or interrogate your dom about who their other subs are. A good submissive respects their dom’s decision.

Be Obedient

Well, this is the obvious tip! Obedience is usually the most difficult initially or for a few months, when a submissive may try to push the boundaries. A good submissive recognizes that you will never push any boundaries.


Real-life D/s is not you all see Fifty Shades of Grey. BDSM is a mutually beneficial experience that should be comforting, fun, thrilling, and orgasmic in most cases. If you are entering into it with reservations, then that is the sign that you shouldn’t be there at all!

Now, with all that said… bend over!

Do not let preconceived notions about the D/s hold you back; you already barely scratched the surface! Sign up now to join our community and, by any chance, meet your desire, Dom.