Masturbation: 5 Great Facts about Self-Pleasure

Masturbation is the epitome of self-pleasure. It’s a connection between you and your body that encapsulates spiritual, physical, sexual, mental, and emotional self-love. It allows you to get to know your body and yourself intimately. Not to mention, it gives you and your body the attention only you know it deserves. 

As an act of self-love, masturbation empowers us to accept our most carnal needs. It explores our preferences – what we like, what we don’t like. Do I like rough play or slow and sensual? Do I like grabbing myself or not? These are the things that you get to affirm when you practice self-indulgence. And who doesn’t what to indulge in pleasure themselves by themselves? Am I right?

So in celebration of our love for self-love, here are 5 great facts about masturbation that are steaming with reasons why you should do it shamelessly:

1. YOU ARE YOUR OWN LOVER

A lot of people think that sex must always be a partnered event. News flash! You don’t have to have a partner to have sex! You can do it all by yourself!

With the right tools, you’ll be having mental arguments about whether to go out or shut yourself in and dive into a session. It’s easier to melt into your fingers (or toy) without the added pressure of pleasing someone else. Sometimes, these personified variables increase stress levels and make it impossible to enjoy yourself. Yet being your own lover, you can relax into the sensations unbridled by another’s opinion. What’s more, it is the safest sexual activity you can have with zero risks of contracting STDs and none of that pregnancy scare. Yikes.

Things can get boring after a while and we say don’t be boring! Here are 5 Ways You Can Enhance Your Masturbation Game

2. HEALTHILY NATURAL

Masturbation is often stigmatized even in today’s society. It’s called a lot of names but what strikes the guilt and shame the worst is the phrase devil’s work. However, if you think about it from a scientific perspective, why would the devil’s work have so many health benefits?

Research has confirmed that the act of self-pleasure can actually help release sexual tension, reduce stress and help you sleep better, among many others. The act’s release of hormones, i.e., endorphins – the stress hormone; dopamine – the happy hormone, and so on, greatly contributes to managing your equilibrium. So every time you get to that sweet, sweet release, you feel invigorated and more centered. With its mood-enhancing magic, you can say goodbye to groggy and irritable work days! Slide one in before work, and you’ll find yourself super ready to take on the world!

Masturbation is healthily natural. Our bodies were made to function as well as be enjoyed. Hence, giving yourself time down there shouldn’t be something you should be guilty about after. It’s 2021 and people should own their bodies and its needs!

3. MASTURBATION MAY

And what better way to own our bodies and its needs than in May? Would you believe that there’s an entire month dedicated to masturbation? Well, you better believe it! 

Good Vibrations declared the first Masturbation Day on May 7th, 1995, a year after Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders made an obscene comment that “masturbation should be incorporated in the sex education curriculum for students” (shocker). President Bill Clinton fired her for the suggestion, which only fueled the fire for sex-positive activists to honor and celebrate the right to self-pleasure. 

It has since been expanded to include the entire month of May and is fondly known as Masturbation May. 

4. MIGHT BE BETTER THAN PARTNERED SEX

Now, we’re not saying that partnered sex is the inferior type of pleasure. All types of pleasure are valid as long as it’s partnered with consent! It’s just that some people think that masturbation is better.

Recent surveys have shown that 27% – 40% of women prefer to go solo than with a partner/s. While that preference is subjective to each individual, let’s remember that masturbation is a form of self-care. And we can’t expect everyone to take care of us the way we take care of ourselves.

Although you can totes enjoy masturbation with a partner, perhaps, mutual masturbation or a slight ploy on voyeurism? It doesn’t change the numbers.

5. BOOSTS CONFIDENCE AND CELEBRATES SEXUAL LIBERATION

As a form of self-love and self-care, masturbation boosts confidence and celebrates sexual liberation. For too long, the patriarchy and society have told us that masturbation is unclean and unnatural. That the hands the roam are the hands of the devil, and we can’t have that! Our bodies are ours to do as we please. Pleasure is a part of it, and we should not be ashamed of liking our own or others’ languid touches and exciting or sensual vibrations from toys.

Masturbation boosts confidence, both in the bedroom and outside of it. The phenomenon of accepting your body and yourself starts from within. The more open the masturbation conversation, the more we become in touch with our nature as sexual beings. Sex is natural! Masturbation is natural!

Want to love yourself a little better? Visit our shop and find your new best friend!

6 Most Powerful Tips To Finding A Good BDSM Partner

BDSM is one of the most powerful sexual lifestyles in the world today. It is assumed by many that participating in this lifestyle is bad, but after you learn the truth, you will discover how good it can be for couples.

Why is it important to get a good BDSM partner?

We live in a century when people have given their hearts, minds, body and soul to a character Massimo who built a notion of what BDSM should entail. Christian Grey and other movie characters shouldn’t be your only picture of who a BDSM partner is. BDSM is all about getting a partner who you can trust because of the pain involved.

Know your ABCs.

First, you must ask yourself, what does BDSM stand for? BDSM is all about a dominating partner making the submissive partner submit to them in various ways.

A common misconception is that the submissive spouse is simply a lesser person than the dominating partner.

The most powerful tips you can use are here! We lay it out just for you.

Find someone empowering.

Many people find that becoming involved in the lifestyle helps them to let go of feelings of guilt and inadequacy. When you find a BDSM partner, you will no longer feel like you are the sexual victim. Instead, you will feel like a valued member of a team.

It is possible to find someone who is also a vanilla and is looking to couple with someone like you. You can date a vanilla partner, but it may not be a suitable choice for many people.

Exploring the darker parts of this type of relationship will provide you both an opportunity to know each other.

Find someone experienced.

Make sure your BDSM partner is experienced if you want to couple up with someone who likes to be in control. They may damage you if you’re not sure what they’re capable of.

An important tip, ask for feedback from others about their experiences with people they have been dating online. You can also ask a professional dominator for advice on where to find dominant partners.

Learn what you can and cannot have.

Although it may seem like you want to touch and play with as many people as possible, you cannot. Your spouse should also be sure whether or not the gender of the character matters to them.

While many play partners are gender-specific, some kinky-sex couples are open to each other regardless of gender.

Find someone open.

Your potential BDSM partner should be willing to share their desires and fantasies. Some people do not like being submissive and do not like the idea of limiting their partner in this way.

If your kinky sex partner does not feel comfortable revealing their deepest fantasies on a dating site, you may want to consider coupling with another person.

This is something that many BDSM individuals face, and while you will still have fun dating someone, you will not be sharing intimate details with anyone.

Start with a good dating app.

When dating in general, there are many important aspects to consider before getting involved with anyone. If you are new to the concept of kink or new to dating in general, you may want to try joining one of the large BDSM internet dating sites. This website can help you find an intimate partner who shares your kinky interests. Once you have found a partner interested in BDSM activities, you will find that you can have a lot of fun dating on the internet.

There is an incredible variety of individuals you can date from different locations worldwide, meet people, go on dates and have fun. If you are ready to explore the world of kink, and meeting some hot sizzling people, go on and start building your kinky profile! ;)

Let us know if you have something you would add to our most powerful tips bank that we can share with our readers!

This is exciting! I know you will learn more and more from our experts. They love giving these kinds of most powerful tips from their experience.

Looking for someone to help you get started? Find amazing sex-positive people on Foxtail, you may just find the BDSM partner you’re looking for!

Pain & Pleasure: Why Many People Are Curious To Try BDSM

BDSM stands for bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism, and for many these terms cause an array of emotions from curiosity to pleasure, to shame. BDSM engulfs many different sexual practices and has even found a spot in the new consensual sex movement. This article explores the reasons why people engage in BDSM and its benefits.

Why do people want to try BDSM? The most common reason is “pleasure.” We’re all a bit hedonistic, and the pursuit of pleasure is usually a top priority. BDSM offers some of us the ability to experience joy thru a myriad of practices once thought of as taboo. In the public “vanilla” world, we may have to wear masks, but in BDSM, we can let our true carnal urges take center stage. Whether you a masochist wanting to experience painful sexual stimulation or a sadist looking to inflict that pain, BDSM can provide the fulfillment you crave.


BDSM is not just about pain. Many participate in BDSM for mental play. Dominant and submissive dynamics allow us to play a role that we would not otherwise be afforded. Participating in a BDSM is also an excellent way to release pent-up emotions, such as stress.

Sadism vs. Masochism

The main difference between sadism and masochism is that sadism often involves imposing pain. This can be physical pain, such as hitting someone else, or psychological distress, such as humiliation. Sadists can give hardcore demands with the punishment for disobedience involving an assortment of BDSM tools. Sadism in the bedroom might include rough sex, takedowns (as in primal play), choking (breathe play), spanking, and much more.

Alternatively, we have the masochist (sometimes called a pain slut). As you can imagine, the masochist finds pleasure in receiving pain. Often, the masochist is looking to push their limits, a sort of edge play. They crave the excitement of the slap or the degradation of a humiliation seen. Masochists also tend to be more submissive; pleasing their master is their ultimate goal, and they are punished for disobedience.

The pairing of the sadist and masochist can be largely beneficial when they find their BDSM partner. By feeding each other desires, thru what some would not be able to handle, they can amplify their sexual pleasure. These two roles may or may not always be sexual in nature, but typically that’s the case.

Bonus: Sadomasochism

Sadomasochism is the practice of obtaining pleasure by inflicting pain on oneself as well as having pain inflicted on oneself. Sadomasochism is almost always sexual in nature. In the BDSM community, this person might be referred to as a “Switch.”

In Closing

Sadism, masochism and sadomasochism are three words that are often confused. But they have very different meanings. If you fall into one of these categories or are interesting in learning more, checkout Pleasure Uncensored. And if you’re one part of this duo looking for your match join several others on Foxtail.

How to Be a Fierce Femme Fetale : Tips for the Emerging Dominatrix

There are many styles of domination an Alpha Female can explore in BDSM. Being a female dominatrix, Domina or Domme creates a safe space for womxn/women identified folks to explore power dynamics and head-spaces typically reserved for those socialized as male within the patriarchal paradigm. In this article you will find out the basics of domination and tips to get started on your BDSM journey into a more embodied, powerful womxn/woman. First, let’s look at what being a Dominatrix is all about.

What is a Dominatrix?

Dominatrix is a French word that means “one who rules over others.” It is commonly defined as a power position in which one dominant partner exerts influence, structure and discipline over their submissives. While it is believed that one partner, the Domme holds all the power in these dynamics, it is important to remember an effective Domme is abiding by the boundaries and consent She and Her submissive have defined prior to entering the active BDSM scene. If it is an ongoing relationship or a  24/7 relationship, there are regular check-ins around hard limits, soft limits, pushing boundaries, consent and pleasure. For more info on limits and discussing BDSM with your partner, check out this article.

In pornography, you will often see Dominas asserting their dominance over their partners through pegging, chastity, orgasm denial, cock and ball torture (CBT), and other forms of sexual control. While this is common, it is important to note that Dominance is not inherently sexual and that many Dominants assert their control over their submissives without sexual contact through discipline, protocol, sadomasochism and a variety of creative outlets exploring power play in kink. 

What makes a Powerful Domme?

There are a plethora of powerful female Dommes out there and they are all different. Dominas each have their own unique style of Dominance that draws their ideal servants and submissives to them. For example, some Dommes are experts at using their wit and sharp tongue to elicit humiliation and perform verbal degradation. This goes well with orgasm control and those who get off on embarrassment or pain. Some Dommes are uninterested in humiliation and participate in noble Domination which trains the submissive through encouragement and clear protocol instead of shame, creating a structure for the submissive to follow in order to be rewarded by being allowed to rub their Domme’s feet or have an orgasm. 

Some Dommes enjoy creating religious scenes with their submissives becoming a literally living Goddess enjoying Her worship. And then there are teacherly Dommes who make their subs read books about Feminism to learn how to be a better servant and ally to womxn, proving their knowledge through writing papers so they may be rewarded with their beloved Domme’s Golden Shower. Or Dominas who enjoy primal play, hunting their submissives in nature pursuing a predator/prey dynamic. There’s no telling what the Huntress will do when she catches you! 

 

The most effective and powerful Dominas know what interests them, what they find pleasurable and what parts of power play turns them on. It does not matter if you’re piercing your submissive with needles or using them as a footstool as long as you, the Domme enjoy what you’re doing alongside your submissive. There’s a style of Domination fit for every Domme AND every sub!!

Learning how to be a great female dominatrix is about rightfully controlling the power you already possessExploring scenes and activities that make you feel like a powerful Queen are a great place to start unleashing the Domme within. Be open to trying different things, learning new skills and getting messy. While the submissive gives you their hard limits, YOU as the Dominant get to set the scene, the pace and choose the play. There’s a limitless amount of creativity and potential pleasure as a Domme! 

 

Contrary to popular belief, Dominance has nothing to do with manipulation. Dominance is two consenting adults exploring their limits and participating in a fulfilling dynamic. While there are dynamics that include blackmail and other forms of “manipulation,” this is all consented to in advance so everyone involved knows what they’re getting into. At any time either party can use their safe-word.

Communication is Key

The most important part of being the Dominant in power exchange is communication, both listening skillfully and articulating your needs, wants and expectations clearly. Being able to listen deeply and get to the core desire of you and your submissives’ kinks opens realms of infinite possibility to play in. 

Ensure to always have a safe word – and even a safe signal! If you are gagging your sub and tying them up, they need a signal to let you know if things are not ok. Check-in often, especially when getting to know your sub’s (and your) limits. Eventually you will develop fluency for their needs and limits but don’t be shy to check in the meantime. If you do not feel you can communicate clearly and be responsible for another person’s well-being in a scene, you still have more practice to do until you’re ready to step into your Domina heels! Practice until your commands and check-ins feel natural and pleasant to say.

To become a great female dominatrix, first learn to embrace your power and courageously communicate! You will find you’re actually having fun managing the people around you and getting what you ask for if the Domme-life is for you. It takes practice and experience to find your unique style, a sexy adventure! Enjoy the ride and if you find yourself uninterested in Dominating, maybe you’ll find submission is more your thing. It’s all ok! The expansive world of kink is yours to explore. 

 

Connect with Dommes (or subs) in your area by visiting our kinky community here.  

 

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Kink Community Culture: What Is It Really About?

Kink community culture and BDSM practices have become more prevalent in mainstream culture in recent years. Kink refers to BDSM practices and paraphilias (Popp & Kaldera, 2014), kinky sex, role play, sex games, fantasies, fetishes, and other erotic expressions (Taormino, 2012).

The kink community has its own set of rituals and hierarchies, belief systems, values, social norms, practices, ceremonies, organizations, customs, and modes of comprehension based on acceptance, communication, trust, empowerment, and fulfillment.

The most important shared values held by the kink community and individuals who engage in BDSM are radical honesty, open communication, expressed and enthusiastic consent, safety, trust, and complete knowledge and disclosure of physical and psychological risks.

First of All, What Is Kink?

Kink is a broad term for sex that is not considered traditional. The most common definition is that it covers many alternative sexual interests, preferences, or fantasies that go beyond your run-of-the-mill. In short, kink is not your ordinary vanilla sex.

BDSM is the most famous sample of kink. BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. Being tied up or handcuffed (bondage), spanked (discipline), and role-playing all fall under BDSM.

But this goes much deeper than just whips and chains as Jay Wiseman, author of SM 101, hints in his definition of BDSM as “the knowing use of psychological dominance and submission, and/or physical bondage, and/or pain, and/or related practices in a safe, legal, consensual manner for the participants to experience erotic arousal and/or personal growth.”

Then What Is Kink Community?

Urban Dictionary defines Kink Community as a group of people who organize meet-ups, discussions, parties, social events, or online communication centered on BDSM and/or other kink activities. For example, people in large towns often have munches, which are low-pressure social gatherings, often at a cafe or restaurant, of folks interested in kink.

The openness of communication around sex in the kink community is admirable and can teach us about communication, consent, and boundaries in all sexual relationships. People outside of the kink community can use this as a starting point for private discussions of sex and support with their partners.

In the kink community, sex is typically seen as a manifestation of mental health, and restrained may help with self-discovery. Kinksters regard their sexuality as a type of performance art, revealing more hidden about other people’s personalities.

Where Do I Start?

Once you have decided that you are ready to expand your kinky world beyond your dark bedroom with closed curtains, there are many possibilities for you to explore. If you’re a little nervous, remember that everyone was once a beginner. People in the fetish scene remember how scary it can be at first, so don’t be afraid to be judged or call yourself a fool.

Whatever your interests, you are not alone, and finding a welcoming community of kinksters is always possible. Looking for Kink Community will include social interaction, similarity, real-time, and sometimes pretty much what you are looking for. Also, you may need a trip to do this. Nevertheless, wherever you live, the best place to meet like-minded people and other kinksters is in a safe and comfortable environment.

Munches

Munch is a gathering of people interested in almost the same thing. These usually informal social events happen monthly in restaurants, cafes, and bars worldwide, in all major cities and sleepy suburbs. It’s a great way to get started: drinking coffee, making new friends, learning from more experienced ones how to get more involved.

Some communities often have ambassadors whose job is to spot newcomers and make them feel welcome. The good thing is that kinksters are very kind and love to share their knowledge with new people. Regular attendees may wear leather jackets and other markers of kinky community connection to make them easy to spot. Some kinksters use their real name or nickname, so aliases are pretty popular in the community.

Enjoy your favorite drink and make new friends!

Classes (Places to Learn Kinky Skills)

Depending on the kink you want to explore, there are countless classes on Foxtail for you to choose from. The Bondage/Ropes classes are probably the most common. It’s a great way to meet people in the community. Some game parties also have workshops and classes that you must go to!

Conferences

Most of the major conferences are annually and can be focusing on one aspect such as age play, or furries, or the spirituality of leather. Other conferences can be more general, with dozens of speakers covering every topic, from how to be the best submissive you can be to how to use a flogger and everything in between.

Conferences are often take place in hotels and require a fee with a discount for previously registered attendees. This annual conference features a wide variety of topics and speakers, from amateurs to professionals. Typically, a well-organized conference offers products and services for every kinkster — from products for leather care to high-quality floggers and whips to full leather and latex gimp suits.

All you need to do is to bring your imagination and your wallet!

If you’re not ready to join a community, you can read other people’s experiences and kinks and start making friends in anonymity. But if you’re ready to begin your journey, bring up any internet browser and search for “kink clubs” in your area.

But you don’t have to go far! Sign up for Foxtail now because there are kinksters like you in our community here in Foxtail who are still exploring the kinky world. Join now and make friends!

Tips for the Finest Fingering to Fisting Experience

Take advantage of all the pleasure finger-f*ing has to offer and graduate to something with a little more girth! We know, sometimes three fingers just isn’t enough.

You’re ready to enter a realm of intimate and ecstatic sensuality. Are you a size Queen or King who is ready to claim their throne? Whether you’re the fister or the fistee, you’re in for a special treat. We’ll show you how to make the most of your fingering and fisting encounters!

If you are picturing someone punching their first in and out of someone’s anus, vagina or bonus hole, you’ve got it all wrong, babe. Unless it’s a consenual power play thing. ;)

Read on for tips and tricks to make the most of your hands, fists and orgasms. We got you. #pleasureuncensored

Back to the Basics

Let’s start with the basics. Fingering is when one or more fingers are inserted into someone’s vagina, anus or bonus hole to elicit arousal. Meanwhile, fisting is when the entire palm is used instead of just a finger a two (or more).

Some may think of fingering and regard it as something only the sexually curious adolescents do when their parents aren’t looking. If that’s you, I’d recommend reconsidering. Fingering is one of the best ways to play, in any hole!

Cut your Nails

First thing’s first: cut your nails and wash your hands. Ingrown nails, scraped nail paint, blisters, and hard corners can all induce scratches and micro-tears on the genital surface that can lead to infection which we all want to avoid. If you don’t want to trim your nails, putting cotton balls into them and then wearing a gloves will help create a softer surface to enter your partner with.

Learn Your Holes

Many people focus on simply shoving their fingers, fists, toys or penises in and out of their partner’s various holes. For many people, this isn’t stimulation isn’t diverse enough to help reach orgasm – or even enjoy the play for more than a couple minutes.

There are millions of nerve endings in people’s vaginas, anuses and bonus holes. Feel around in them!! Explore their various textures and the way they react to different types of touch. You can try slow, firm strokes with your fingers, or gentle rubbing in circles. Approach your partner’s hole as if you’re giving it a sensual massage instead of poking at it. Get creative! Notice when your partner moans or when you feel their hole(s) respond to what you’re doing. Ask them if they like it, and when they say yes, do more of that.

Once you are familiar with their landscape, you’re ready to fist! Using the knowledge you’ve gathered from exploring with your fingers will take your fisting to a whole new level. You’ll know which spots are the most sensitive and what pressure they like so you can apply that with your fist. You can move your fist in gentle circles for a mindblowing internal massage or slightly change the shape of your fist to give your partner more pressure and a feeling of fullness in their hole.

Getting to know what kind of sensual and sexual touch you or your partner’s holes enjoy is key to take your play from average to amazing. Try different pressure, speeds and spots to explore their many caves of wonders.

Use Lubricant

Lubricant is a top priority for smooth fingering and fisting. Fisting, more than any other penetration necessitates the use of more lube. Don’t be afraid to get super slippery!

Pro tip: test your lube before you go all in. Make sure you’re not allergic and that it’s offering the kind of slick feeling you love. Remember there are many choices out there from silicone-based, to water based or all-natural lubes like coconut oil. Do your homework and choose wisely for the ultimate sexual experience.

Start Slow

Initiate your play slowly and softly – softer than you think – and ramp up your pace as you progress. Begin by exploring the more delicate areas around the holes gently. Move inwards towards their hole slowly and begin to penetrate. This will make your partner beg you to speed up and go harder once they’ve got blood rushing to their vagina, anus or bonus hole. It’s a scientific fact that upon arousal, blood rushes to the gentials causing them to expand and ripen for sexy time. This also raises sexual desire and makes you and your partner ready for more.

Proceed to Fist

After (giving or receiving) fingering with 3 or more fingers, proceed to fist if you both feel comfortable and ready for more. If you’re the fister, confirm with your beloved regularly to ensure they’re enjoying the activity. You can frequently ask, “Are you prepared for another finger?” or “Can you take some more?” When you’re ready for the last finger, draw your fingers firmly around each other, then gradually alleviate your palm in. Once inside, you can either keep your fingers in this duck-bill form or start to scrunch your fingers down into a fist. Take the procedure as slow as possible. There is no need to rush in as it can harm your lover.

After inserting a fist, try moving your arm in and out slowly, utilizing your fists to arouse your partner’s G-spot or P-spot. For people with clitorises, shaking the “fist” to induce the clitoral entrance, subtle lunging or full-fist strokes, or merely leaving the fist in a while rubbing the clit can also enhance the pleasure.

Slowly pull out

For the betterment of your lover’s hole, do not quickly pull out the fist! Leaving their hole should be done with the same delicacy that you entered it with.

Because holes are sensitive and delicate, having your companion take a breath while you gradually extract your palm can help induce relaxation sufficiently, and you can eliminate your palm without injuring them. Pulling out too quickly can injure your partner or create preventable tears. Check in often and make sure the fistee is as relaxed as possible when exiting.

The takeaway: 

People love fingering and fisting for pleasure. Passion will be increased by a gentle and playful touch. Hurrying in can injure your partner, take time to get to know their holes!!

If you enjoyed our article, you can leave a comment or join our community to discuss more about sexual exploration. Also, check out this amazing Rose Quartz Yoni Egg and Wand set on our online store

Sadism: Getting Pleasure From Someone Else’s Pain – 7 Must-Knows

Ever wondered why do so many people get pleasure from other’s pain? What part of human nature wants to see others in peril? Why inflicting ill will or pain on others is a big source of pleasure for thousands of us? Let’s be even more precise on what we are talking about. Schadenfreude! Yes, you read right, A Germanic derivative word that literally means “enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others”. In this ever-changing world, chances are you might know someone who indulges in this practice, or perhaps, you do so yourself.

Want to know more about why seeing others in pain gives you pleasure? Stay with us and read the post!

Do these phrases excite you?

  • Handcuff me to the bed so I can’t resist you.”
  • “Put your hands around my neck and squeeze me till I gasp for air”.
  • “Blindfold me so I can’t see what’s coming”.
  • “I like pain.”
  • “I’m helpless. Do to me as you desire, Master.”

If so, you might be a saidst (a person who takes pleasure in inflicting pain, punishment, or humiliation).

What Do You Need To Know?

What you have read are things you might hear from a submissive (a person ready to conform to the authority or will of their master). Often we get excited about the sexy scene while forgetting what underlies an S&M relationship.

1.   S&M is just a Part of BDSM, not the Whole Deal

sadism and masochism is simply part of bdsm

BDSM stands for bondage, dominance, sadism, and masochism or, to others, dominance and submission . Do you see my point now? S&M, in a nutshell, is the practice of using pain as a sexual stimulant. Negociations must take place prior to avoid any triggering or undue harm.

2.   It’s up to you

You don’t have to be tied to a St Andrews Cross on day one! But if you have confidence in yourself, by all means, show your partner what you’ve got. All I’m saying is, both parties are fully aware of and have consented to every activity from the onset. Blindfold or not, you’re not in the dark. The best part of it all, for me at least, is you get to pick your poison! What gives you pleasure? If being tied up isn’t your cup of tea, don’t try it.

3.   Pain Can Be Creative

Flogging, humiliation, and CBT (cock ball tourture), may not suit you but have you considered tickling? Similarly, let the creativity flow in you as you explore different types of painful pleasure with your partner. Some things may turn you off, but I guarantee others will turn you on. Do it all, no matter how crazy it sounds. You’ll never know what’s for you until you try.

4.   Be Respectfully Nasty

Nothing turns me on more than a partner that respects my boundaries. Don’t kick respect to the curbs all in the name of S&M. Have a conversation with your partner before you start to establish boundaries. Get consent to every activity that you will perform. Always establish a safe word prior to engagement.

5.   Don’t be Ashamed

Communication is the key. Speak out your thoughts. You shouldn’t be ashamed or embarrassed to state what you want and how you want it. Some things can be unorthodox if suggested in a room full of people, but isn’t it amazing you get to do it behind closed doors? If you are really curious to do something that you’ve never imagined and your inner kinkster demands that kind of pleasure, ask for it!  

6.  It’s not all About the Pain

couple holding sex toy

Does BDSM only involve being subjected to pain? It may surprise you to know that those who enjoy pain are in the minority. Blindfolding is just as good turn-on as inflicting pain. Your pleasure doesn’t even have to come from traditional pain. Keep in mind there are several types of pain from stinging to tickling (yes it’s a form of pain).

7.   Do Your Homework

Foxtail’s community is kinky in nature. Regarding S&M, take a look at what we have to offer on the matter. Before engaging in any BDSM, do a whole load of research on it. This experience can either end well or in tragedy. You’re better off knowing what you are doing. Better safe than sorry, agree?

And that’s all from me, love! Now you know there’s more to S&M than you could imagine. Open your mind to all the possibilities. If you have some doubts in mind, it’s all good. Remember, it’s all up to you. Although, with these seven tips in mind, I am confident that you’re good to go.

I will let you in on my little secret. Sign up on Foxtail to get in touch with other people from the BDSM community with just a click of a button.

If BDSM is not for you, don’t worry, Pleasure Uncensored has a variety of other options for you to pick from, head over to our blog.

Sensory Pleasure: Enhance Sex Play with Sensory Overload

Vanilla sex can get a little boring, especially when partners have been together for a long time. It is easy to fall into a predictable routine in the bedroom but being aware of the shift to auto-pilot can save your sex life. This awareness can help you get more sexual pleasure and orgasms, and it all starts with sensation play.

Sensation Play is the act of engaging your senses in different ways to intensify your sensory pleasure. These senses come in many shapes and forms, from sight to hearing and touch. Come to find out how to tickle your senses?

Are you Prepared for a Sensory Overload?

There was a time when people were looking for ways to improve sexual desire, sexual health, and sexual skills through a complete sensory pleasure experience. Nowadays, our culture seems to have forgotten the importance of pre-sexual or foreplay activities.

We have fallen into the habit of just jumping in the sack to satisfy our needs as quickly as possible. The intensity, teasing, and foreplay make sex more exhilarating and uplifting. When the lights are off, hyperstimulation can take the form of extreme heat, cold, pain, or shock.

Faced with such sensations, “the body first considers whether it’s about to be harmed,” says Dr. Jim Pfaus, Professor of Neuroscience at Concordia University, Canada. “The nervous system is driven strongly in anticipation of distress. Once it has eliminated danger, it serves you with a rush of adrenaline.”

Sensory overload is the overstimulation of one or more of the body’s five senses: touch, sight, hearing, smell, and taste. When E.L. James, the author of “Fifty Shades of Grey,” created the character Christian Grey, she might not realize the hunger of the sexual appetite she had awakened.

Ultra-sensory sex is an underground activity and is now becoming normalized.

Sexual Benefits

Sight, Hearing, Smell, Taste, and Touch are the five human senses, and they play a vital role in increasing arousal. According to some sex therapists, sensory play is an is a form of sexual enhancement because it can increase your sexual desire and pleasure.

Our senses are useful in many ways, from temperature games, eye masks, essential oils, and low-frequency vibrations, which can help take your lovemaking sessions to phenomenal heights. Experience sensory pleasures in ways you hadn’t imagined!

Sensory pleasure is efficient when different types of touch in succession are involved. For example, having a rough sensation followed by smooth, fast and slow, hot and cold, hard and smooth. This type of action stimulation gets our endorphins and adrenaline flowing. Senses allow us to have a heightened level of mind-blowing sex.

Safety in Sensation Play

If you plan to do some more intense forms sensation play, here is our safety list you need to follow and be on the safe side.

  • Start slowly. In any sensation play, take small steps and check the results before proceeding to the next play.
  • Look for signs of discoloration, cuts, or rashes.
  • Pay close attention to breathing, and agree with safe words and signs in advance.
  • Before starting, research various materials and sensation play, and look for their respective risk profiles.
  • For starters, keep the scene short. Always prepare the necessary first aid from the beginning and plan aftercare.
  • In case of serious injury, allergic reaction, or difficulty breathing, seek medical attention immediately.

Sensitive Spots

Of course, some rank the penis as the largest sex zone, while others rank the clitoris as the first, but surprisingly, the continuum of sexual arousal is the same for everyone.

Take a look at the infographic below to see which parts are at the top of the list for attetion.

Popular Types of Sensation Play you can try

Use these shock tactics to harness the hormonal high, and you will awaken sensations you never knew existed and spice up your act between the sheets.

Tickling

When the body is aroused, the feeling of tickling and teasing is so erotic and provocative that the recipient squirms in pleasure. Try tickling your partner’s neck, back of knees, or soles of their feet using your fingertips, a feather, or a fluffy tickler. Keep in mind that some people are more sensitive than others, so the intensity of the play should vary based on the receiver’s preference.

Recommendation: Premium Teasing and Tickling Feather Duster | $12

Nipple Clamps

Sweet and sensual nipple torture is not suitable for beginners but is advisable for those who dare to enjoy it. For starters, try simple pinchers like tweezers first. Nipple pulling can be a punishment or reward, depending on the selected scenario.

Everything you need to enjoy is an incredible combination of happiness and painful ecstasy. The feeling that the receiver will experience depends largely on the type of clip. They have different styles, intensity ranges, and some vibration characteristics.

This sensation play is a whole new level, and it is no longer just teasing but also pain. Whether a player is a beginner or an enthusiast, do not wear a nipple restraint for more than 20 minutes in a row. The feeling of blood returning to the areola is intense enough!

Tip: Turn it up a notch by adding electro stimulation!

Recommendation: Adjustable E-Stim Electrosex Nipple Clamps | $12

Scent and Taste Play

Certain tastes and smells can affect your sensitivity. You can make the receiver very exciting and robust, or calm and relax. Depending on which you want the game to go, you can choose fragrances to create the scene you want.

The sense of smell and taste is stronger at the same time. To make the receiver more receptive to scent and aroma, you can do sensory deprivation and blindfolding them. Give them something tasty, but don’t tell them what it is.

Food plays at its best. Bringing whipped cream or Nutella into the bedroom gives a bit of excitement; I recommended covering the nipples and lick them.

Recommendation: Kissable Massage Oil Candle | $16.95

Paddling

Have you been naughty? A proper spanking can cure those who are naughty. Usually, do paddling over their knees. If the paddle is heavy, then the wallop will be more painful. For beginners, leather paddles deliver less of a blow.

Recommendation:  Dual-Sided Thorny/Smooth Spanking Paddle | $20

Temperature Play

The heating or cooling of lube is a great place to start during temperature play. You can take it up a notch by leaving your lube in the fridge or if you’re looking for a warmer experience, place your lube in a bowl of warm water for a few minutes. This technique can also be used on oils and lotions for an exciting warm massage.

A simple ice pack can be extremely versatile. Using an ice pack, you can cool down your own hands, making hand jobs even more exciting. Hold the pack in one hand while the other hand does the work and switch every few minutes.

Recommendation:  K-Y Warming Jelly Lube, Sensorial Personal Lubricant | $19.35

Blindfolding

What if you take away the eyesight of you or your partner? For sure, the rest of the senses heightened. Blindfolds are a great addition to any play because the blindfolded person cannot predict where, how and what happened next.

Another reason blindfolding can improve sex is because it increases the level of the chemical dopamine in the brain that controls sexual desires. Increase dopamine, and sex will feel more exciting. Of course, many couples make love with their eyes closed, but there is a huge difference in relationships between voluntarily closing your eyes and blindfolding.

Recommendation:  Sexy Eye Mask/Blindfold | $5

The Bottom Line

The feeling of controlling your partner’s senses is powerful. As long as everyone consents, you can add nearly anything as sensory tool. The imagination kicks in, so every action you do heightens the experience for your partner. Till next time, stay safe and consensual!

What kind of sensory play have you tried or would like to try? Share your thoughts in our comment section below. We would love to hear from you! Also, you can sign up for Foxtail to meet other adventurous people from our community :)

Sexual Addiction: 8 Most Frequently Asked Questions

Addiction can be a haunting source of great shame for people. Covering up sexual addiction can be tiring and cumbersome. The good news is, all hope is not lost! There are many ways to work with addiction and live an enriching life.

This article is meant to serve as a hopeful starting point. A comprehensive treatment program and therapy is ideal for treating sex addiction. Let’s dive in to see what you can do to help heal from sexual addiction.

The Most Common Questions Regarding Sexual Addiction

Sex Addiction

Is There A Difference?

There’s a stark contrast between sexual addiction and other forms of addiction. Often, sexual addiction has no visible symptoms like with typical substances. It can be done in private and kept far away from unsuspecting family members and partners. For some this hiding allows their secret to go unnoticed and therefore, untreated. This is also likely due to the topic’s stigma, making it almost impossible to discuss it with others.

The Most Common Questions About Sexual Addiction

When we bring up healing from sexual addiction, a couple of common questions run through our minds. Allow us to answer the most frequently asked questions to clarify some myths about sex addiction. Hopefully, the answers will make it easier to have an open conversation about sexual addiction and encourage the healing process.

1. What is Sexual Addiction?

Before diving into the deep end, let’s make sure we can manage the shallow waters. We will start by understanding what addiction is. It is the inability to stop a behavior or using something which leads to harmful outcomes. Addiction is often a response to pain or due to an unmet desire for connection.

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Addiction does not only apply to substance abuse. Sex addiction is getting hooked to the sensation and gratification brought about by sex, either solo or with partners. Simply, an addiction to pornography, masturbation, and sexual encounters.

2. When is it Sexual Addiction? When is it not?

As stated earlier, people unconsciously use their addiction to deal with pain and a lack of connection. Folks who deal with sex addiction typically reach a level where their main focus becomes sex and they are unable to consider the consequences of risky behavior because of their obsession.

For example someone suffering from sex addiction may cheat on their partner impulsively, have sex without protection with strangers or participate in other compromising behaviors risking their job and important relationships to satisfy the immediate sexual craving. It’s not about having too much sex, it’s about having sex that causes very real damage or disruption in one’s life.

3. Is there a Difference Between Sexual Addiction and Other Forms of Addiction?

It can be difficult to “tell” if someone has sex addiction. Unlike other addictions where there is a visible substance being consumed, a direct intake and resulting high, sex is more intangible.

Usually when signs of sexual addiction are clear, the situation is already out of hand. This can make it especially hard to stop since it’s been hidden for so long. Remember, no matter how long this has been going on, all people can change with the proper support and helpful environment. Again, this is why we recommend seeking professional help if caught up in Sex Addiction.

It can be helpful to recognize the similarity that this addiction and drug addiction have is brain activity and dopamine release which causes the person to get trapped in a cycle of seeking repetition. Professional help can help break this cycle and create new, healthy habits instead.

4. Is it Possible to Hide a Sexual Addiction?

Many consider being a sex addict shameful, so when people know they have an issue they aren’t telling anyone. Due to the stigma surrounding it, this could negatively affect relationships with friends, family, and at work. While it may be tempting to hide sex addiction from everyone, it is important to begin the process by sharing the sexual addiction issues with a trusted counselor or group. By sharing one can begin to figure out who they need to do next and who they need to tell in order to move forward.

5. Is Sex Really Addictive?

Sex is both physical and emotional. If someone is experiencing pain or craving genuine connection, sex serves as a short-term break from their discomfort. Many sex addicts use sex as an ego booster which creates another dopamine cycle of “scoring” or proving their worth through sexual encounters.

Sex itself does not cause addiction. Addiction is brought on by unresolved trauma and habits gone wrong. Although addiction is more intense than a simple bad habit, just like a bad habit, with the proper support it can be changed.

6. Are Sex Addicts Aware of the Problem?

Are any of us aware of our problems? ? Sometimes yes, other times no. Many therapists state that as long as it is disrupting life and causing distress, it is a problem Ignorance is bliss, as they say! Sex addiction could be worse for one person yet more manageable to another. For example, if someone is getting caught masturbating at work putting their job at risk, it is time to get professional help. If someone is missing class and failing school because they are watching porn, it is time to get professional help. However, it is up to the individual to be able to recognize the problem at hand.

These are just a few worst-case scenarios, but if you’re noticing you or someone you love is making questionable choices due to sex addiction, first take a step back. Try again to observe the behavior with an unbiased eye. If then, the problem still seems apparent, consult a professional for guidance on what to do next.

7. Is Abstinence Important When Healing From Sexual Addiction?

To get over a nicotine addiction, does one have to quit smoking? You know the answer. The same applies in this case. Professionals recommend a period of abstinence to allow one to break the cycle of addiction.

We don’t mean to burst anyone’s bubble. The good news is once an addict heals from sexual addiction, they can start engaging in sex again, mindfully. They can rediscover sex in a different way!

8. How can one Heal From Sexual Addiction?

There are many ways to heal from sexual addiction. Addictions are unique to the individual, so treatment isn’t one size fits all. I would advise anyone experiencing addictive tendencies with sex to seek medical help from a licensed psychologist or a certified sex therapist.

Have no fear of perfection-you will never reach it.

Salvador Dali

The Bottom Line

No one is aware of the battles another is fighting. All we can do is be kind to others and ourselves. Everyone craves connection and to soothe pain so we can all understand addiction in this way. Seeking the help of a professional therapist when things get tough is a strength, not a weakness. Admitting your limits is important in both kink AND life. It is important to remember that healing from sexual addiction will not happen overnight. Rome was never built in a day.

If you know someone who may have a sex addiction, send them this article. It might be the help that person needs to start on the road to recovery.

The Best Safety Practices For Indulging In Your Choking Kink

So you want to learn everything about choking? Look no further. There are so many ways to explore choking, but it is essential to have it executed safely. It is necessary to address that choking during sex or in a BDSM scene is extremely dangerous.  If you have a choking kink and want to try it, please read on. Our safety tips will make sure you don’t make any horrific mistakes and keep you on the safe side.

What is a Choking Kink?

Choke kink is sexual arousal that comes from choking or being choked. Because it involves giving or receiving choking, this kink falls under the BDSM umbrella. It allows you and your partner to experience a rush of endorphins and adrenaline together. 

“Having a man’s hands around your neck plays into the fantasy of being taken, also known as ravishment.” says sex therapist and researcher Christine Milrod, Ph.D.

The most well-known form of breath play is choking, but in reality, these two are different. Breathplay is an act when one or both partners voluntarily restrict each other’s breathing for a short period. On the other hand, a person with a choking kink enjoys breathing restriction but having more pleasure by the feeling of submission or by being submissive.

Read this article if you are exploring and interested in finding out more about breath plays.

Why Is Choking a Thing?

Given the negative connotations of choking and the danger factor, it is fair to wonder why people may want to be choked.

There’s also a physiological reason why some swear by the chokehold while getting it on, says Ian Kerner, Ph.D. 

“The rush of breath that comes after being choked releases endorphins, which combine with the neurochemical cocktail of sex to create a feeling of heightened exhilaration,” says Kerner. 

That thrill can intensify sexual sensations. I’ve met people of all genders who enjoy the feeling of power and dominance that comes from choking, as well as people of all genders who enjoy the excitement of being choked. Anyone can derive pleasure from being the choker or the chokee.

What You Should Know Before Trying Choking

Watching someone choked on porn sites does not give any lesson on how to properly practice choking. It could lead to severe injury or even death if you do it wrong. If you plan on exploring choking, keep the following in mind.

Educate Yourself

If you have questions about choking or want to learn more about safety techniques, it’s better to do your research than engage in choking and hope for the best. If you are serious about exploring choking, make an appointment to learn the practice under the supervision of a Master, Top or Dominatrix with extensive experience.

Health conditions

This should be discussed in advance. People who have breathing problems or heart disease, asthma, a history of anxiety problems, or past trauma should be cautious.

Don’t be afraid to ask your doctor if choking is something you can explore safely. Do not explore any breath play while someone or you are under any substance influence.

Expectations

Set clear expectations with your sex partner. Ask how you want to be choked, how many times over, during penetration or orgasm, or just a one-off moment.

Communication

Experiment with the agreed-upon choking, then stop and check with your partner after your first testing. You can keep it simple with a “How did is that to you? Could I adjust anything to make it even more enjoyable for you?”

Safety Precautions

Make sure you have established some basic safety with your partner. Any BDSM play should include safe words, but choking can make it difficult for the recipient to talk rather than during other acts.

In this kind of kink, hands come into play. A “safe word gesture” should be created, such as snapping your fingers or holding a finger. Another option is to give the person an item to hold, and if they drop it, you will pause and check them.

Aftercare

Aftercare kink is the key to any healthy sexual experience. It is the easy step by which the physical come-down after sex is supported and checked verbally. You may want to snuggle and stroke each other’s bodies under soft blankets, especially when using lots of force and possible humiliation during a scene.

Safety Disclaimer: Having a choking kink is fun, but this kind of play could be life-threatening. Please consult with a medical professional before proceeding, especially if you have breathing issues.

Alright, kinksters! Now that you know the rules, please practice safe choking if you so desire. To meet BDSM and edge-play kinksters like you, check out our sex-positive community here. Comment and let us know what you think!