7 Exciting Sex Rituals You’ve Never Heard Of

Sex rituals are more common than you think. Many believe that ancient people led a puritanical way of life, but many ancient civilizations openly embraced sex and even organized festivals and rituals in its honor. Most of which are people now consider sexual perversions.

Top 7 Ancient Sex Rituals

A lesbian holiday in Ancient Greece

The feast of Aphrodisia, the Aphrodite, celebrated in Thessaly, was a lesbian-centred holiday. It began with erotic flogging, then the women threw off their clothes and bathed in the sea. Coming ashore, the “horse-goddesses” pleased each other in all possible ways. No men were allowed in the ceremony.

Bacchanalia in Ancient Rome

Once upon a time , The Roman Empire considered March 17 the most shameless day of the year. We are talking about the spring holiday of rebirth – the Roman Bacchanalia. The sexual activities of the Romans were especially violent in the bacchanals. Married women, admirers of Bacchus, seduced young men. Over time, the Bacchantes went so far as to deprive their own sons of innocence.

During the Bacchic orgies, everyone copulated with everyone, including men with men. If you refused to participate in lewdness you were dead. The sect consisted mainly of people of high origin. The Romans were liberated in matters of sex practices such as coitus, cunnilingus, masturbation, and fellatio, passing them the down to modern times.

Roman sadists, pioneers in ancient sex

In Rome, sexual orgies were often accompanied by sadomasochism. The emperors practised savage cruelty and terrible torture. Caligula was excited only if he saw the blood and torment of other people. He’d order slaves and servants hands to be cut off, tortured, and sawed in half.

The Roman Emperor Nero would dress in animal skins and attack men and women tied to pillars, raping them. Then his lover, Dorimach, would perform homosexual acts with tyrants.

Animals did partake in sexual practices in the ancient times. In those days, bestiality was also widespread. The animals had special training to mate with females. If the girls or women resisted, then the animal attempted rape. Various animals had training for such events: bulls, giraffes, leopards and cheetahs, wild boars, zebras, stallions, donkeys, huge dogs, monkeys, and others! All these animals copulated with humans both vaginally and anally. Yikes!

The fall into sin of the clergy in Europe

The clergy violated the commandment “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” In 1501, fifty prostitutes attended a festival in the palace of Pope Alexander VI. The ladies danced with the guests, and by the end of the evening, they were completely naked. Men would throw chestnuts at their feet. The prostitutes would pick up the fruits, crawling on all fours. The reward for the one who committed the greatest number of acts with courtesans was precious jewelry.

In 1561, the Italian Priest Pietro Leon was accused of having a connection with hundreds of sisters. He made beautiful nuns undress and swim naked. The sinner watched the sisters and then, getting angry enough, covered the girls in turn.

Feast “Elysian Mysteries” in Ancient Greece

In autumn, the Greeks celebrated the Elysian Mysteries for nine days. A procession of several thousand people, decorated with myrtle branches, marched to the sea to perform bathing and cleansing. Copulation was an integral part of the ritual. On the sixth day, the participants walked from Athens to Elysium, carrying burning torches and ears of the new harvest. There began noisy, merry festivities with abundant libations. Incest was part of the celebration. The priests obliged women to refrain from sexual intercourse for nine days before the mystery: to build up their sexual tension that they would unleash to the fullest extent possible during the holiday.

Ancient Greece did not know a prohibition on masturbation either. The revered sage Diogenes, according to legend, loved to do this in the public market.

Homosexual relationships were seen as a natural complement to male love and friendship, and such an adult-adolescent relationship was seen as mentoring. Simply because it creates lively affections between the mentor and mentee.

Toys for adults in the ancient world

Archaeologists claim that toys for adults were trendy among the ancients. The oldest stone dildo is estimated to be 26,000 years old. The Egyptian Queen Cleopatra even used a vibrator made of a hollow pumpkin filled with live bees.

Ancient sex practices of Greeks and Romans not only used dildos but also tried to modernize them in every possible way. They invented leather covers for wooden and stone sex toys. According to surviving written sources, Greek women staged a sex strike during the Peloponnesian War because the import of quality leather dildos stopped.

Ancient Sex in China: Sex toys and BDSM 

Many in ancient China believed in Taoism where women and men were divided into Yin and Yang. The female and male principles respectively. The act of making love in this country was called “the art of the bedroom”. It was a present in exchange of energies.

They believed that people should not only preserve Yang but also maximize feminine Yin. Monogamy seemed to be a cultural norm among the poor, while the rich believed it would lead to serious illness or death. Men did not hesitate to use the services of prostitutes, called the givers of Yang.

Virgins were considered the personification of evil on earth because they did not want to share their energy. The Chinese aristocrats considered sadism a way to release negative energy – it was available to both women and men.

Attitudes towards masturbation were quite different between genders. For a man, it is forbidden because it promised unnecessary waste of Yang while for a woman it is considered an inexhaustible source of Yin. Women from wealthy families used ivory dildos while cheaper options were made of noble wood and varnish.

There is nothing shameful in satisfying your desires because it is natural in human nature. The very desire to satisfy ourselves has been present within us for centuries. It is the acceptance of pursuing our desires by cultural norms that changes over time. Therefore, do not try to adapt to modern public opinion. We have a history of practising unusual ways of self-satisfaction and even whole holidays and events dedicated to this. Be yourself, enjoy your life and try new or ancient sex practices. After all, your sexual desires should be a priority for you.

Wanna try some sexy rituals of your own? Check out our other posts!

How To: BDSM Sex Tools for Beginners

Were you thinking about spicing up your sex life? We are here to support beginners like you as you explore the wonderful world of BDSM. Since the realm of BDSM can seem overwhelming, it is best to start with understanding what does BDSM means. BDSM is an umbrella term for Bondage and Restraint, Dominance and Submissive and Sadism, and Masochism.

On the surface, these terms might sound daunting and scary. However, the BDSM culture and lifestyle are safe and consensual. The goal is to boost pleasure and to make your partner feel happy.

BDSM is erotic and adds spice to the bedroom. Incorporating aspects of this into your bedroom doesn’t take much effort or money. The Fifty Shades of Grey franchise shined a light into this world, and it was a success. This movie showcases a variety of BDSM sex tools and shows how to use them.

We’ve listed some recommendations for you to tiptoe into the BDSM world! Ready?

Quick BDSM Tip:

BDSM kits

If you are a newbie, you might want to do some homework first. Research some BDSM tutorials and articles from our blog that can help you understand how BDSM works. Aside from that, look out for sex-positive workshops and events.

Scenarios and boundaries require a discussion with your partner before you start this play. It is essential to examine the intensity and extremes you want to experience and the safe words you want to use.  Before entering this kind of activity, you and your partner needed to understand each other’s perspectives, reactions, and feelings towards this session.

Blindfolds

blindfolds

Recommendation: BDSM Sex Tools for Beginners | $2.90

If there’s one thing all sensation sluts in BDSM love, it is the blindfold. Blindfolds are one of the many things that come to mind each time anyone hears the word submission. A blindfold helps to maximize a sensual experience. Experts say that restricting one’s senses opens doors to the other senses.

Collars and Chokers

collars and chokers for BDSM

Recommendation: Genuine Leather BDSM Bondage Set | $26.38

Collars are part of a visual accouterment of BDSM, Submissives usually wear these to show they are owned. Dominants use this as a symbol of ownership similar to wedding rings ;). A Submissive that wears a collar signifies consensual ownership between a dominant and a submissive.

Unlike collars, chokers do not symbolized committed relationships. They signify a dominant or a submissive relation. Chokers are often used to create a specific physical sensation around the neck.

Gags

gags

Recommendation: Breathable Open Mouth Ball Gag | $9.75 – $15.15

These are great for people who have oral fixations. Gags are often combined with bindings during BDSM play and are often used by the submissive to give the dominant partner more control. Dominants are using gags to make the submissive feel more helpless or as punishment or humiliation.

Pro Tip:  It is essential to establish a safe word gesture when using gags. A safeword gestures such as snapping fingers or giving an item to hold that they can drop in case they needed to speak.

Restrainers

restrainers

Recommendation: Soft Adjustable Erotic Bondage Rope Handcuffs | $12.25

Restrainers are perhaps the bread and butter of the BDSM world. Restraints can range from simple to complex. If you are a beginner, you should start with a simple tool like cuffs. Cuffs are a great introduction to constraints. Keep the cuffs loose in a way that you can slip them off without the keys.

As you gain experience, confidence, and trust in your partner, ropes are excellent in BDSM play. Don’t go into rope tying before proper instruction as it can lead to permanent damage.

Floggers

floggers

Recommendation: 7-18 pcs Premium BDSM Set | $28.25

These add a bit of versatility to BDSM play. Floggers are made of multiple strips of fabric, commonly leather or suede. These are used to gently stroke your partner and increase the intensity of play. Floggers are an excellent tool for beginners because the multiple strips help dull the impact.

Pro Tip: Test the flogger first onto your skin before you do it to your partner. In that case, you will know much impact you can only inflict on your partner. Avoid flogging near the face or genitals.

Nipple Clamps

Nipple clamps

Recommendation: Magnetic Ball Nipple Clamps | $2.48 – $3.98

Just like the name implies, these are used to stimulate sensation on the nipples. These are good for people who associate pain with pleasure. For starters, be sure to look for adjustable clamps. You can start on the lowest pressure by placing the clamp on the base of the nipple.

Pro Tip: You feel the most pain once you take it off. Monitor and minimize the time you have them on. For starters, it is recommended to clamp nipples for a few seconds then continue with 15-minute intervals.

Explore the world of BDSM to spice up your sex life. Do not settle for vanilla; enjoy other flavours too!

Have you chosen a suitable BDSM toy for you and your partner? Feel free to check our shop, where you can find various items for your BDSM play tonight!

Discussing Kink With Your Partner

Humans have so many desires that they are afraid to admit, especially kink. If you are in BDSM, kink is an integral part of your sexual identity. Different humans are sexually attracted to different kinks. Discussing kink with your partner is crucial for a healthy relationship as they make you and your partner aware of the limitations and boundaries. Talking about a kink that intrigues you might be embarrassing, but it doesn’t have to be!

If you are confused about where to begin and how-to, we are here to help you understand and share your secret sexual desires.

Why Remain Silent?

Communication is vital for any healthy relationship. Being open to your partner about your needs, desires, and experiences will lead to fulfilling sex. Your partner can only understand you if you share with them! So why do we feel shame about sharing our kinky desires and thoughts?

Being vulnerable is difficult enough in relationships, let alone when we confess our kinky dreams to our Beloved. It’s ok to feel shame and shyness when discussing your sexual needs, but practice makes perfect, and you’ll never get your needs met if you don’t speak up. Speaking up gives you and your partner the chance to tackle what’s at hand together. You might be surprised at how speaking up brings you two closer together.

Why Discussing Kink is Important?

When people don’t talk about kink, it affects their emotional intimacy, self-esteem, and trust. It can be impossible to build strong and happy relationships under false pretences and dishonesty. If partners cannot talk about their kink, needs, and even desired sex scene, this is a sign that there is a communication problem in the relationship. Dissatisfaction with sex life leads to resentment, resulting in couples’ conflicts, betrayal, or breakup.

Realizing the Importance of Kinky Conversation

Both partners need to realize that everyone has a right to secret sexual fantasies. Humans are biologically programmed to feel arousal and desire sex in different ways. It’s completely normal! Listening to your own kinky desires and sharing them with your partner opens up the relationships to more love, confidence, and respect for one another as individuals and as partners.

Fantasies and secret desires can be strong stimulants. You can share stories, images, and details with your partner. If you’re playing with your long-term, trusted partner, leave room for spontaneity and organic flow after you share your fantasies – start off simple. No need for intense protocol or analytics at first. Give yourselves room to grow and reach for more as you continue to build trust and intimacy.

You need to take some time to reflect on your own sexual desire: what gets you aroused, what do you fantasize about? Sometimes it isn’t easy to voice secret desires in the heat of the moment. Make time with your partner to have an intimate and dedicated conversation about what you’re fantasizing about. You never know, your partner may know their kinky fantasies, but they might not broadcast them.

It is also helpful to give feedback in real-time, while you’re engaged in sexual acts with your partner “I like when you touch me here” or “That feels good, keep going (harder or softer or stay the same)”.

This kind of openness sets the stage for more honesty and communication, making it easier to hear each other over time. Both in and out of the bedroom.

When to Speak?

Establishing an intimate dialogue about sex is easy if you follow these basic rules:

1. Don’t introduce a brand new idea you want to try right before having sex. If you’re already turned on and heading to Sex City, interrupting the journey by stopping and introducing something brand new can be disruptive. Your partner wants to have sex, not talk. Choose an appropriate moment for this conversation: in a hot bath, over dinner with a glass of champagne, or talking in bed. The main thing is that you two are in a good mood and fully present. Everyone is calm, happy, and content.

2. Be open and speak simply with your partner. Do not try to explain your preferences in scientific terms or the words of some famous sexologist. You do not have to defend your sexual preferences to your partner. Just be yourself! If they don’t get it, that’s ok. It’s just a preference, like wanting chocolate ice cream over cookies n cream. Work together to understand each other’s viewpoints.

3. Choose the right tone. The same thing is perceived differently depending on how you say it. When you offer your partner a new sex game or experiment, remember the voice you use should be calm, soothing, and confident. Your partner will be more receptive to your tone, allowing the conversation to go smoothly.

4. When both partners agree to sexual experimentation, you need to clearly discuss the rules in advance. Not during sex, not immediately after sex, but in advance before sex so that each of you knows what your partner is doing and why they are doing it. Describe the process you envision and discuss the desires this satisfies for both of you.

Threesome Sex: How to Bring it up?

Threesomes are very common for couples who have been partnered for some time and have developed healthy communication. The most successful couples have already mastered expressing their sexual desires, and both partners are respectful of each other’s fantasies. If you and your partner do not have a foundation for solid trust and intimacy, a threesome should be a fantasy put off for a later time. Remember, it can be important to share fantasies with your Lover without acting on them as you grow together. You can share the dream of the fantasy without immediately putting it into action. This builds up the relationship so you can work toward that experience together one day.

It is important to define the boundaries of who both partners feel comfortable inviting in for the threesome. For example, do you want it to be a one-night stand? A friend? A cute acquaintance? Realize that you or your partner may or may not want to see the person again after the act, so how does this play into your fantasy? What boundaries do you need to protect and prioritize the relationship for more sexual exploration for years to come?

But be aware of group sex with your friends! On the one hand, the idea of inviting friends into your bed can be comforting because of the established trust already present. On the other hand, an experience of this magnitude may change the dynamics of a friendship forever.

What Can Help You Discuss Kink?

If it’s too awkward to start talking about kink out of nowhere, you can give signs. For example, find a movie where a scene shows what you want to try in sex and watch it with your partner. You can find out about each other’s preferences in a game format. For example, make a list with different sexual desires, fill it out, and check what your partner chose.

Another way to scout the situation is to ask your partner what they masturbate to or imagine when they caress themselves. You can agree to masturbate in front of each other to encourage intimacy and pleasure.

All of these tricks are meant to show people that talking only makes sex better. This will make it easier for them to talk about it later. If partners cannot understand their desires or accept each other’s needs, it is worth contacting a specialist. Sex therapists and couples therapists can provide the guidance and structure needed to get your relationship to the next sexy level.

What Kind of Reaction to Expect?

There is no one-size-fits-all piece of advice or magic phrases for talking about kink. However, there are general principles that should be adhered to when discussing such sensitive topics.

Abandon Gender Stereotypes

Good sex is the responsibility of both partners. The conversation starts with the one who needs it more and not who supposedly should take the initiative.

Don’t wait!

Don’t wait for your partner to figure it out. People often expect their partners to guess what they want. However, nobody can read minds. Tell them what you want and give them a chance to explore.

Calling a Spade a Spade

To make it easier for partners to understand each other, you need to speak directly. The phrase “press harder on my clit” sounds much clearer than “I want more.”

Don’t Criticize

Most people are already embarrassed to talk about sex, so you shouldn’t create additional stress. If Your partner tells you about a certain activity different from your preferred one, don’t criticize. Criticism and “yucking their yum” will only lead to more communication hesitancy.

Focus Needs

Focus not only on your own needs but also on the needs of your partner. Healthy relationships require communication and reciprocity. You can ask your partner what position they like best, what they fantasize about, and what they would like to try. But be prepared for no’s. No one is obliged to do what they do not like and just because your partner does not like something doesn’t mean they do not like you.

Bring Each other to the Same Table

If you can present your kink desires in such a way that your partner perceives them as their own, then both of you will win. While entering this territory, you need to be aware that there is always a risk. The fear of misunderstanding might be holding you back, but your partner might be up for the kinky stuff you want to do with them. But first, you need to tell them this.

If you are worried that your kink ideas might enrage or make your partner hostile towards you, then that partner might not be with the right one for you. So don’t refuse to talk about it, and don’t withhold information from your partner. If you think that your partner’s ideas about intimacy are fundamentally different than yours, you need to:

  • Discuss this with your partner, which means expressing your thoughts and emotions, and checking if you have some common ground. 
  • Ask yourself if this is the right relationship for you?

The Bottom Line

Remember, silence about your kink(s) fences you off from unforgettable orgasms. Perhaps your partner also has a couple fantasies that they are afraid to admit. Be bold! Your life, your sex, your orgasms, and your pleasures depend on you. You create your own life, and you should not be ashamed of yourself!

If you want to explore more about kink, you can visit our blog to read out similar articles. You can also connect with other like-minded individuals in the Meet Others section.

Kink Apps and Fascinating Reasons People Are Drawn to Them

We believe the mind is a sex organ, and pleasing it requires a little imagination.

Before considering why people like kink apps, you first need to understand the term “kink.” Centuries ago, perversion meant everything that the church did not accept, but the view on this concept changed over time. Many people believed that kink is to have sex for your pleasure and not for the sake of childbirth. 

But with the development of civilization and science, the concept of sexual perversion is no longer condemned if it does not contradict the law and does not harm others. 

Before Kink Apps, Kink was Considered Perverted

In modern times, there is a specific concept of “norms” in sexual relations between people. What is a perversion for some is an ordinary sex life for others. Regular sex can be just foreplay of the genitals and other body parts that bring pleasure and direct sexual intercourse between mature people with mutual consent. Anything that crosses these “norms” is considered a perversion.

According To Sexologists, the Following Practices Are Perverted: 

  • Masochism is the enjoyment of pain caused by another person. This pain can be through lashes, spanking, strangulation, hot wax dripping on the body, binding, and subsequent numbness of the limbs. Masochism, in some cases, can be much more, which brings discomfort and pain for most people.
  • Sadism is the enjoyment of hurting another person. These are often similar methods of inflicting pain as in masochism but more brutal and may lead to injury. 
  • Transvestism is the pleasure of dressing up in women’s clothes. Sexologists attribute this type of perversion more to a violation of psychological functions and self-perception.
  • Fetishism is pleasure causes by an object directly or indirectly related to the sexual sphere. It emerges of sexual desire and satisfaction during contact with inanimate items such as panties, shoes, and much more). 
  • Exhibitionism is the pleasure of showing your naked body to another person without his consent. 
  • Voyeurism is the pleasure of looking at a naked person without their consent. This kink is on the verge of breaking the law. A great example of this is when a voyeur records a video of an underage person.

There are many sexual kinks on kink apps that have not received much study but are nevertheless widespread.

Different Kinks Found on Kink Apps: 

  • Fisting is the penetration into the genitalia or anal opening with the fingers or a fist.
  • Urophilia is a sexual pleasure urinating on a partner or from a partner.
  • Coprophilia is sexual arousal and satisfaction from manipulation with partner’s feces.
  • Enema is getting sexual pleasure by injecting liquid or medical suppositories into the rectum.
  • Necrophilia is a sexual attraction to corpses and performing sexual acts with them.
  • Exaudirism is the uncontrollable desire of a person to listen to someone else’s sexual intercourse.
  • Acrotomophilia is a fetish from which a person derives sexual pleasure or arousal from having intercourse with or sexually fantasizing to an amputee.

The listed above are only a few of the many kinks on every kink apps. 

What Does Science Say About Kink? 

At this stage of studying this topic, scientists have not reached a consensus that can induce a person to engage in atypical sex drive and behaviors. There are a number of the most common causes that lead to such kinks. Let’s take a closer look at this:

Hormonal Disruptions in the body and Various Genetic Abnormalities

  • All kinds of birth trauma can disrupt the work of the brain 
  • Hereditary factors: There is an opinion that attraction to various sexual deviations transmits at the genetic level. Still, at the present stage of science, it is not a proven fact. 

A Negative Environment of Upbringing and Psychological Trauma

  • A hostile environment can create the desire for either submission or domination over your partner.
  • Deep psychological trauma. Late separation of the child from the mother is a psychological trauma variant. This trauma leads to dire consequences such as a complete failure in social relationships, peer relationships do not work out for one reason or another, and the child does not fit into society. It can lead to a misunderstanding of sexual relations, leading to various sexual deviations, such as the pleasure of peeping or eavesdropping on someone, to multiple types of fetishes. 

Disruption of the Endocrine System and Delayed Sexual Development

Disruption of the endocrine system creates delayed sexual development and the absence or delayed receipt of sex education. It could cause a person to confuse themselves as a sexual partner and the role of sex in their lives.

Abuse 

  • Abuse from certain types of psychotropic and narcotic substances: Being under various psychotropic substances leads to an impediment of social intelligence, which leads to the emergence of perverse sexual inclinations.
  • Certain types of psychological disorders, such as manic-depressive syndrome and schizophrenia: The most common causes of kinks, for this reason, create an obsession with sexual experience and pleasure. For example, you are having sex only with virgins or desire a sexual affair with animals. The most common results of this are the manifestation of desires in sadism and masochism. 

Many kinks, desires, and fantasies resulting from those mentioned earlier and other factors do not deviate from the norm. We should consider these kinks as usual as long as they don’t harm and violate the law.

So if you get absolute pleasure from your desires and kinky fantasies, then take pride in your kink! Everyone needs sexual satisfaction. Scientists have proven that a person who is satisfied with their sex life has better mental health.

Take care of your psychological and physical health; do not give up the desire to be kinky. Join our community to meet more kinksters like you! Join Foxtail now!

Discussing Kink: 3 Steps To Bring up Kink To Your Partner

Kink is one of those topics that can be uncomfortable to talk about with your partner, right? You may find it embarrassing to bring up the subject even when you are trying to seduce them. However, since you really want to learn how to talk kink with your partner, here are three straightforward steps that can help you.

1. Open up and talk about kink with confidence

Both you and your partner must be comfortable talking about kink with each other. If you can’t be comfortable with your partner who else will you be comfortable with? While there is no right or wrong way to talk about kink, a few tricks can kick you off. Once you have mastered these techniques, you will know how to talk kink with confidence. The first thing to talk about is what kind of kink you are comfortable with discussing. This means that you need to tell your partner if you want them to wear a t-shirt that says “bondage,” “wet dream,” or similar phrases. Maybe something a bit more extreme like needle play. If you do not know what your type is yet, that’s okay. You can ask your partner for help as you explore your options. Once you realize what works for you, you can begin to discuss what kind of clothing or role-playing activities you would like to engage in with your partner.

2. Talk about situations that might trigger kink fantasies

Everyone with a kink has their own triggers. For instance, your partner loves to make love as a couple but feels trapped in the matrimonial bed. You can talk about ways to make them more physically vulnerable. You might want to float the idea of having sex on the kitchen counter, while you make them a snack. If your partner is okay with it, discuss how you might explore the different positions that turn you on. A change in environment and thinking outside the norm may be what you need.

3. Acknowledge your own sexuality

Although this is the third point, it is the most important step. Both you and your partner must be comfortable with each other’s sexuality and your own. Being comfortable with each other’s sexuality is very important because of the many kinky sexual fantasies and practices that people may be unaware of. When you and your partner are comfortable with each other’s sexuality, you will be able to discuss kink more comfortably.


One of the biggest problems people have when talking about kink is they get defensive. This can come up whenever you feel that your partner is uncomfortable with their own sexuality. Instead of talking about kink with your partner, you could first start by getting used to talking about kink yourself. In other words, if you find that your partner is uncomfortable with talking about kink, consider simply not mentioning it directly. Example: “how do you feel about being choked, does it excite you?” However, this may backfire if you and your partner are not open to discussing your sex lives. Remember, there is no shame in acknowledging your own sexuality. After all, your sexuality is important to your relationship, so it would be a good idea to at least try to talk about kink.

Finally


By learning how to talk kink with your partner, you will both experience more open and honest communication within the relationship. Who wouldn’t want that? This is important because it can help to foster a more loving and understanding relationship. When you talk about kink with your partner, make sure not to come across as insecure. This is why it is very important to accept yourself before bringing up the topic to your partner. Don’t pressurize them either. This can come up because you are projecting your insecurities on your partner. Instead, be open and honest with one another and yourself about your own experiences with kink and how you can help your partner experience kink.

That’s it from me. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it. If you and your partner talk about kink comfortably, we’d love to know how you got to this point. Leave a comment below on how you brought the topic up for discussion. Sign up on Foxtail to have discussions with people with the same kink interests as you.

For more on this checkout: Discuss Kink With Your Partner 101: The Essential Guide

9 Ways to Enhance Intimacy in BDSM

The concept of intimacy in BDSM is the desire for two people to be sexually intimate and it is not limited to sexual intercourse. In a vanilla relationship, intimacy means being passionate with your partner. However, in BDSM, it often means being more intimate with your partner than with just your body. This can be dangerous because you are playing with your partner’s feelings and violating their trust. You must carefully choose intimacy in BDSM if you want to experience this type of relationship play.


Both you and your partner must be comfortable with being intimate. The person who initiates intimacy must know that their partner will not like the new intimate behavior immediately and may even react negatively. Don’t force the issue if they don’t want to, or you will end up hurting your partner emotionally. If you are having problems initiating intimacy in BDSM with your partner, you need to work on these nine communication issues before proceeding further.



1. Be Patient.

This may take time, and it can be hard at first to let go of your inhibitions and fears. However, it would be best if you become comfortable with sharing your feelings with your partner. When you feel safe enough to talk about your feelings, you can share deeper, more intimate thoughts and feelings, which result in stronger intimacy.


2. Be specific.

Always tell your partner what exactly makes you happy and satisfied. This will help you avoid engaging in intimate behavior that you are uncomfortable with when you are not sure that your partner’s desires are the same as yours.



3. Be vocal.

This means that you must let your partner know what you are feeling and thinking, and you must be vocal about it. Being a silent partner is often a key to avoiding boredom and can cause your partner to become frustrated with your lack of communication. Also, part of the appeal of role-playing games is the ability to express your sexuality while having fun with your partner. Be vocal about your desires and your needs. Let your partner know what is happening in your head and on your body. Allow them to experience what you are feeling.


4. Learn to listen.

This is often one of the most challenging things to do when one is involved in an intimate relationship. However, learning how to listen properly is a skill that will significantly enhance intimacy. By listening to what your partner has to say, you will become a better lover because you will pick up your partner’s needs.



5. Use the space around you.

BDSM practitioners often find that their relationships grow stronger when they can give time to each other. By giving yourself time to listen to your partner, your feelings, and your own needs, you become more tuned in to each other, and the process becomes less complicated. As a result, intimacy is more easily developed and maintained.



6. Never discount your feelings.

Your emotions are valuable, they are essential, and they should never be ignored or passed over. When you are actively engaging in sex, your feelings and desires will be genuine to you. Be sure to share them with your partner. Remember, emotions are integral to intimacy.


7. Explore fantasies.

The most exciting aspect of role-playing is finding ones that you can engage in together. Find fantasies you’d enjoy engaging in with your partner and start exploring those together. By sharing these fantasies, you will increase your passion for each other and will have more fun when you make love to each other.



8. Take a role.

Some people assume that when they engage in a BDSM relationship, their partner will automatically take on all of the responsibilities and skills associated with such a lifestyle. This is not the case. Take on some of the responsibility yourself. When you are enthusiastic about your sexual relationship, your skills will grow, and you will better meet your needs.


9. Develop boundaries.

If you both have a strong sense of boundaries, you are less likely to experience non-consensual sex or “rape.” When there is no clear sexual boundary, there is a greater chance for things to get out of hand. Take a role in how much of the physical intimacy you share. It will make your relationship stronger in the long run.

Would you like to meet more sex-positive people around you? Click here to join our growing community today.

Trouble In Paradise?-5 Easy Sex Tips To Spice Things Up

There comes a time in every relationship, regardless of how happy we are, that we need some sex tips to keep that magic in the bedroom. And FYI there’s nothing wrong with that. Many things like stress, change in hormones, or fading intimacy affect our sex life. Are you at a point where no amount of pillow talk or date nights can bring the intimacy back? We’ve all been there, so you need not worry. We have put together a list of sex tips experts believe will help spice things up. Well, as I always say, “it’s getting hot in here, so mind taking off your clothes?”. On second thoughts, consider leaving them on. Read on and you’ll understand why.

5 Easy Sex Tips

Keep Your Clothes On

For most people, taking off their clothes when having sex is normal. But as Dr. Juliana Morris suggests, leaving something on, maybe some heels or pantyhose can bring out the sexy side of you. Men, try unzipping your jeans, it is hotter than leaving your socks on. Sometimes going against the norm adds to the excitement, right?

Have Fun Together

This is one of our most important sex tips. Sometimes, having fun together helps keep the intimacy. Plan to go on a hike together, try out new restaurants, or other activities you both enjoy. Try engaging in an activity that does not involve sex with your partner. This will help you pay attention to one another and build desire. Activities outside the bedroom can be equally intimate and can act as a form of foreplay, which will help ignite your desire and increase pleasure.

Sexting!

When was the last time you sent a provocative text? Do you let your partner know what is on your mind? You might not know where to start, but an excellent place to start is, “want me to wear my fuck heels tonight?”. You may have to consider getting those fuck heels! You are not limited to heels alone, get creative!

Try a Lubricant

This one of the most underrated sex tips, the power of lubricants. A flavoured oral lubricant can enhance oral, vaginal, and anal sex. Even if you are not an orally aroused kind of person, a sweet lubricant will be a game-changer. Always discuss with your partner their preferences so you can choose a lube you love that will not irritate or cause an allergic reaction.

Switch Locations

Try the kitchen counter, the hallway, the balcony, or even on the couch. A friend once recommended the bedroom closet. The place does not necessarily matter as long as you pick a place that is not your usual spot. You never know; the environmental change, the smells, sounds will keep your sex life and intimacy going.

Sex Tips Bonus: Hire A Sex Coach

our list is quite helpful but may not get the job done. If you find it difficult to have a sex-related conversation with your partner, a third party just may be a lifesaver. This might be embarrassing to many, especially those that prefer to keep their sex life private. There are many sex coaches you can hire online or in-person who will help add extra insights to your sex life. The best tip for this is to know that it is okay to ask for help sometimes. It does not undermine you, your character, or your relationship.

It is very important to go the extra mile in your relationship especially when you hit a slump. Let it be a team effort between you and your partner. These tips are not gender-specific and will work best with teamwork. If you ask me, working on your relationship should be a major turn-on for your partner!

Well, there you have it. These tips are what you need for the best sex life you have been longing for. If there is a sex tip that has worked for you and is not on our list, leave a comment, we’d love to hear from you. There’s no such thing as too much help, yes? If you’re interested in going the extra mile to spice things up in the boudoir, check out our blog to learn about all things kink.

How To Make Your Sub Happy: 4 Sex Skills To Keep Them Coming Back

Sex skills are essential in BDSM play. Sensual play is finding its way into the mainstream, with studies showing advantages like reducing stress and better relationships among couples. From gentle tickles to extreme nipple torture, BDSM has evolved through time, but the basis of a BDSM relationship is the connection between the Dom and Sub.

Tips on Making Your Sub Happy

If you are a Dom and looking for a way to keeping your Sub happy and coming back, you might want to consider these tips.

1. Use Your Mouth to Give Shivers All Over

Your mouth can inflict more excitement or arousal than any other area of your body. You can do numerous things to your partner’s body and various locations you can do it, whether you do it by licking, sucking, or biting.

Even if the part you chose is not that sexually sensitive, biting will have the same impact as scratching, but on a different level.

2.   Grope, Pin, or Grind 

Grope your partner as if you are claiming every inch of them as your property. Do not be hesitant. If you want something, take control and snatch them. They’ll get a sense of helplessness that’ll boost arousal.

You can pin them on the couch, against the wall, on the bed, hunched over a table or counter. If nothing else is available, the floor will have to do. This behavior is common in Primal Play where ‘take downs’ are more common. Whatever you do, keep in mind that this is not to attack your sub, but just another way of claiming them to be yours and no one else’s.

These kinds of sex skills allow you to exhibit your true alpha nature.

3.  Let Them Pleasure You

Just because you’re in control doesn’t imply you’re the only one who should make all the moves. You can let them kneel on the floor and tell them to give you pleasure. If they are lying on their back, move around, so you’re over their head and urge them to keep making those sexy sounds.

Keeping them occupied, this is key to keep them interested.

4. Control Their Orgasms

You may use this in various ways, like teasing, delaying, or repeatedly causing them to orgasm. Make them beg for it as you draw it out, this will ensure a mind-blowing climax.

On the other hand, you can also tell your sub when they should cum. This usually requires knowing enough about your submissive and knowing when they are ready. If yoursub sees you as the master of their orgasm, you’ll have a control over their mind you never imagined possible.

Participating in an intense D/s play session may be emotionally and physically draining for a submissive, leaving them weary and experiencing “sub drop.”

Mastering and freely giving aftercare to your sub, from communication to hugging to caring for their body, is one of the best ways to ensure they stay happy and keep coming back to you.

For more tips on managing and enjoying a BDSM relationship, you can check out our blog! You can also visit our shop for BDSM products to add spice to your sexual activities.

Busting 5 Common BDSM Myths

There’s a lot of common BDSM myths found in fashion magazines and movies. Those new to the lifestyle often have these wrong beliefs about BDSM via their exposure to pop culture. This article will explain some of these common BDSM myths. To fully understand these myths, one has to understand what BDSM entails.

If you are new to BDSM and want to try kinky stuff, be sure to read this post.

What BDSM Stands for?

BDSM is a short form that can be divided into three main subgroups

The first term is BD. It stands for bondage and discipline. BD involves tying up or cuffing individuals, restricting their movements, establishing rules, and inflicting punishments.

The second one is DS. It represents dominance and submission and is all about power dynamics. Here, the submissive person grants the dominant one physical and/or emotional authority over them.

The last one is SM, which refers to sadism, the desire to inflict pain, and masochism, which is the desire to receive it.

BDSM Myths: Misconceptions And Wrong Beliefs About BDSM

Let’s look at 5 most common and prevailing BDSM myths and fact-check each one of them.

BDSM Myth #1: It’s strange and only practiced by few

FACT: This is the most common myth about BDSM. People who know little about BDSM often believe that only a tiny segment of the population has these desires. Is that true? Obviously not. Humans have long held a fascination with sex. Moreover, sex specialists or experts frequently encounter huge curiosity in BDSM when dealing with clients.

The Journal of Sexual Medicine research in 2014 found out that 65% of those who took part in the survey desired to be submissive, while 47% wanted to be domineering. Also, 52% of participants wanted to be restrained or tied up with restraint kits. BDSM fantasies are natural and acceptable. Thus, some individuals turn to BDSM for sexual release.

Experts advise that there is no need to feel guilty or ashamed of having such fantasies. In fact, they think that it is healthy to have these desires and that they are worth exploring.

BDSM Myth #2: Players must have experienced physical or emotional trauma

FACT: This is another common misconception about BDSM. The myth says that individuals who engage in it have past traumatic experiences. As a cathartic practice, they get involved in BDSM.

This belief spread due to the popularity of the inaccurate portrayal of kink in the Shades of Grey books and movies. BDSM is not a mental disorder. A 2013 research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine revealed that BDSM enthusiasts were just as much, if not more, psychologically sound than those who weren’t.

The authors researched BDSM and discovered that it was a recreational activity despite deviating from social norms.

BDSM Myth #3: It causes emotional harm

FACT: This third myth about BDSM highlights the emotional breakdown and negative effects on those who practice it. In truth, BDSM creates a stronger bond between partners when managed appropriately.

Some sex experts frequently suggest BDSM therapy for their “vanilla couples”. These couples find it very beneficial, especially if they are struggling with power and control in relationships. BDSM has strengthened relationships by allowing individuals to experience what it’s like to take turns being in control in the bedroom. This power exchange also flows onto other areas of the relationship.

Wrong Belief About BDSM#4: It’s all about sex

FACT: The fourth misconception about BDSM narrows it down to just sex. BDSM play occurs in consensual circumstances. If both partners agree that sex is part of the contract, then it will happen.

However, BDSM is not always sexual. Some individuals enjoy it only for the power play. It is possible to experiment with BDSM without having sex, but adding sex to the mix drastically raises the ante. For instance, some people prefer pain because it is more cathartic. At the same time, others prefer nonsexual options such as performing menial tasks. Therefore, BDSM can take many forms.

BDSM Myth #5: The woman has to be submissive

FACT: This fifth wrong belief about BDSM says that women are always submitting to men. BDSM supports a Dominant/submissive dynamic. There is no gender preference in BDSM. It is always about consensual pleasure and sex-positive play. Consequently, everyone is equally in charge. Both roles can also be interchangeable! Partners can switch roles as they like, depending on their agreement.

It’s all up to you! And your partner(s)…

Remember that you have the freedom to decide which role in the scene is most appealing to you. You are encouraged to experiment before making long-term decisions about your parts when playing in kink and BDSM. Now that you know the 5 common BDSM myths, you are more equipped to decide your kinky future. If you want to explore more about BDSM, Sign up to connect with our community or check out our new posts! Share your comments with us. We would love to hear from you!

The Most Boring Article About Foot Fetish You’ll Ever Read

Fetishes are not as unusual as mainstream norms would have you believe, but for some they can be hard to embrace at first. If you have a foot fetish, you may be aroused by the sight of another’s tootsies! You may enjoy giving or receiving foot massages.

Your spine may tingle when your feet are softly licked or sucked. Or you may see a pair of feet and become aroused at the thought of putting them in your mouth or on your genitals. Some fetishists enjoy the smell of feet after walking around all day or working out. From sight, to touch, to smell and even taste, foot fetishists can enjoy feet through different senses.

Having Feet Fetish is Pretty Standard

If you didn’t know it, you would think this was very rare. One rough estimate came from a study that appeared in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. The participants rated their fetish interests on a scale of one to five (5 being the highest). A foot fetish was reported by about 10% of respondents, with a similar number reporting a shoe fetish. The overall ratio of participants was much higher when it came to sexualizing feet or shoes.

Is There Anything to Worry About?

Great news! You don’t have to worry about getting pregnant with foot sex! However, be advised that delicate skin can be cut around the penis, vagina, or anus by sharp toenails. If you anticipate getting your feet involved in the action, make sure your toenails are trimmed to avoid cutting your partner during their foot-job.

Dipping Your Toes into Foot Fetish

It is essential to take your time when introducing a partner to footplay for the first time. Make it clear what you intend to do by sharing your favorite foot fantasy. Share what arouses you most about your fantasy with your partner so they know what turns you on about feet. For example, is it the way they smell? The wrinkles on the bottom? Their cute toes? Get curious, sharing what it is about feet that turn you on will help your partner know how to play and explore in this new kink together.


Invite your partner to join you on the couch one night and then offer to massage each other’s feet. At the very least, it’s a fantastic way for your partner to wind down, and if nothing else, it’s a good way for you to become aroused. ;)

Put your Best Foot Forward

The best place to start with erotic foot encounters is with foot massages. Because of the vast array of nerve endings found in the foot and the soothing texture of massage oil and lotion, a foot massage can provide a calming and a stimulating effect. If you are new to exploring your foot fetish with your partner, start by (consensually) massaging their feet and see how the two of you respond.


If both parties are comfortable, you can move from massage to gently licking or sucking the feet. It’s truly spine tingling! Who doesn’t enjoy a good foot licking?

In Summary…

Alway remember to include consent and clear communication when introducing new kinks, whether they are with a new play partner or in a long-standing monogamous relationship. While it can be daunting to share something that feels secret, you’ll never get what you truly want if you don’t ask!

If your feet are feeling frisky, go to Foxtail and find others who want to have their feet worshiped, or want you to obsess over their feet.