35 Rules For Submissives’ to Make Your Dom-Sub Relationship Intense.

Two of the most widely used names in the BDSM world of kink are “dom” and “sub,” which stand for “dominant” and “submissive,” respectively. You could engage in a harmless, reasonable, and consensual dom-sub relationship by using guidelines for your submissive and instruments such as BDSM contracts. Some people associate BDSM solely with relationship building, discipline dominance, and sadomasochistic behavior. In summary, roles and slave rules never cease in a relationship that lasts 24 hours a day, seven days a week. In this post I will provide you tips and 35 rules to help get you started.

What is a dominant-submissive relationship?

A dominant-submissive relationship occurs when one person dominates (a sadist) while the other partner submits to masochistic values. The power dynamic between the partners is the kink in a dominant/submissive, aka dom-sub relationship. A dom may gain sexual satisfaction from behaviours in which they control the climax of their subordinate partners, such as forced orgasms, damaged orgasms, or orgasm denial. While a sub may find sexual satisfaction as an act in which they can be disciplined, chastised, spanked, or otherwise dominated by their lover. In essence, the person in the dominant role exerts partial or complete authority over the one in the submissive role.

Your sub’s most acceptable source of information is honest communication, which includes taking inquiries and never exceeding their boundaries. Couples in dom-sub relationships lead entirely regular lives. They are simply two persons engaging for the pleasure of each other. As a result, their partnerships are not dissimilar to the vanilla relationship.

Benefits of Dom-Sub Relationships

According to Dr Sandra LaMorgese, BDSM couples can function in ways that promote deep attachment and generate a sense of comfort. Because this relationship requires trust and a desire to comply, many people who practice BDSM are often more obedient and confident. During the interaction, physical contact allows BDSM partners to express their sexuality. We may experience physiological and physical healings when someone touches our skin while playing, holding our shoulders, hugging us, or having sex. So, aside from the joys of BDSM, this is exceptionally beneficial to both our physical and emotional health.

Another advantage for both dominants and submissives is the possibility of pleasing their partner. Both parties place a high value on pleasure and arousal and regard it as an essential aspect of their relationship. Another advantage is that BDSM is enjoyable! Participating in non-traditional sexual activity is thrilling, and there are numerous ways to engage in it. Finally, the Dom-sub relationship encourages personal growth by allowing participants to explore and receive feedback from their partners. It improves their relationship’s intimacy and commitment.

Rules must be enforced in a dom-sub relationship

Dominant partners must know what their submissive partner can do and correct and praise conduct. The submissive may violate laws without repercussions, and their efforts to please their companion may go unrecognized. The three techniques for adhering to the rules are rewarding good behaviour and penalizing lousy behaviour. The incentive is ineffective if you receive a reward but prefer affection or sexual pleasure. This is why dominants should seek feedback from their submissive partners. The submissive partners should also seek input from their dominant partners. Prizes and penalties, like these guidelines, must be genuine and meaningful.

Rules versus protocols

Protocols are legal documents that must be followed in specified circumstances. When deciding on regulations, the concept of low, medium and high protocols can be helpful. When you want to respect a dom-sub relationship and rules, you can use a concealed protocol that would go unnoticed in a vanilla setting. Allowing your dominant partner to speak first, for example, or ordering for you in a restaurant. During mealtime, the submissive may wait for a couple of signs before eating. Consider invisible protocols, such as the concealed code between you and your partner.

High protocol refers to the regulations followed during formal dinners and other functions. They include restrictions on speech, speech expectations, and serving.

Medium protocols are used during public events and play. It may involve stressing BDSM components above general socializing and include a submissive’s behaviour toward other dominants.

Standard protocols are the most laid-back and are employed in casual and vanilla situations. While limits are enforced, informal conduct is permitted as long as the submissive partner knows the relationship dynamic and requests. In the face of everyday temptations, submissive partners must still stay accountable to their protocols and dominants.

Making Sub Rules with physical and mental health in mind

The sub’s mental health must be taken into account. As a result, every dominating partner must incorporate this in their rules and do well to observe them. Here are some examples of mental health rules in a dom-sub relationship.

The submissive must not react when triggered. Instead, the sub should exit the person, topic, or situation as swiftly and discretely as possible.

When Baby Girl feels nervous, she must stop whatever she is doing (unless it is vital) and perform her breathing exercises for five minutes.

The submissive will meditate for 10 minutes once every day (just sit and concentrate on his breath). Following that, the sub will text the dominant with a positive thought.

The submissive must prepare a list of activities that make them happy. These lists should be in a visible location for daily reminders.

Rules must have financial implications so that the sub can obey them. You can have as many rules as you want in a dom-sub relationship as long as you remember them and realistically follow them. Therefore, sticking to basic principles rather than specific regulations may assist the sub in recognizing and following the rules and the dominant in enforcing the laws.

Read: All About Mental Health in BDSM Dating.

Wording your rules

To be clear, rules for subs are expectations of chores, jobs, or services you want your submissive to complete regularly without you expressly telling them. They are established by the dominant in the relationship to provide some structure to the dom-sub relationship. Wording your rules simply means spelling out your rules in the simplest way possible so that your sub understands and comprehends what their dom requires of them.

There are two styles to writing rules.

The first form is written as if composed by the sub. For example, before retiring to bed, I shall get permission.

The second style is more authoritative and written from the standpoint of a dominant. For example, when I return home from work, you should be kneeling at the entrance, ready to take off my coat and serve me in whatever capacity I require that day.

Choose a style that appeals to you. I recommend you stick to one type of writing when creating a list of rules for a submissive. When mixed, it might be more challenging to interpret and learn the rules.

When and how to set submissive rules

Once you start dating your sub, learn to know their tastes, both sexually and in terms of the type of submissive partner they are.

Begin by writing down the rules that you want them to obey. Include directions from your prior dom-sub relationship that you appreciated. In a computer document, write down the subservient rules.

Make sure you go over the list of rules with your sub partner to determine if there are any regulations that your sub would be hesitant to follow. 

Ask your sub if they have any suggestions from prior dominants or if something they like doing for you gives them happiness. Make sure to include anything they want to do in the rules. The goal should be for your sub to love following the rules, which is why this talk is critical.

Finally, both dom and sub should have a copy of the rules, so they know what to do and what not to do.

Types of power play in dom-sub relationship

Although a physical relationship between both parties is the most common. It is also possible to have a dom-sub relationship digitally or over the phone. Some examples of power play are:

Role-playing. There are numerous positions of power, including teacher, doctor/psychiatrist, law enforcement, boss/executive, and others. Having the dominant partner play one of these roles, with the submissive as their subordinate, reinforces the fundamental power aspect of the play in a more direct way. This also allows for fun opportunities for clothing fetishes to come into play and reinforces the notion that it is all fantasy.

Bondage is also frequently involved in a power play. It is another essential component of BDSM. Binding and restraining someone is an obvious way of asserting control by restricting their movement. Whether through simple rope bondage, cuffs, or more extensive full-body restraint. Bondage can also include chastity cages or belts to limit a submissive’s ability to masturbate and orgasm, as well as different kinds of gags to restrict their speech.

The practice of erotic asphyxiation, often known as sexual choking. Those who engage in the course do it primarily for physiological stimulation. Hypoxia or lack of blood flow to the brain produces a lightheaded, enjoyable sensation that heightens orgasmic sensations.

Sensation play is a foundational component of BDSM practices. It involves intense arousal from external objects while one partner wears a blindfold. The blindfolded partner trusts the other to touch, zap, or grip various regions of their body without knowing what will happen next. Hot wax, ice, feathers, silk, nipple clamps, and whips are commonly used.

Despite the horror and bewilderment of others, rape play fantasies are common. It’s a new kind of power dynamic. This type of power dynamic is usually carried out with the help of a trustworthy individual. This is extreme sadism and masochism, but keep in mind that both parties must agree to this scenario.

No power-play is abnormal as long as individuals involved do so willingly, and it does not interfere with other elements of their lives.

Submissive rules for everyday behaviour

If you have a BDSM activity outside of the bedroom, you may have some rules that encompass the seemingly mundane aspects of daily existence. These rules differ from playtime rules in that they may or may not apply to sex or BDSM. Of course, some principles do not apply to everyday activity. A submissive, for example, maybe commanded to carry a wireless vibrator during a specified activity or on a date night. Here are some subservient rules for everyday behaviour.

  1. At all times, the sub must wear a collar or other symbol of their relationship/ownership. This symbol may change from private to public situations.
  2. The submissive must use the accepted honorific to address their dominant and answer their nickname/title.
  3. When the dominant arrives or leaves the room, the submissive must kneel; when in the presence of their dominant, the sub must crawl.
  4. The sub will keep their eyes downcast and avoid making eye contact unless otherwise instructed.
  5. The submissive will serve the dominant drinks, snacks, and meals first.
  6. The submissive will maintain their look following the demands of their dom, including hair, cosmetics, clothes, and personal maintenance.
  7. When ordering food or drinks, the sub permitted the dominant to speak for them.
  8. The sub will need permission for bodily duties such as eating or visiting the restroom.
  9. The sub must dress in clothing chosen or authorized by the dominant.
  10. According to the dom’s wishes, the submissive must work out or exercise.
  11. The sub’s responses must be timely. However, times may vary based on the manner of communication used (text versus in person, for example)
  12. The sub cannot make purchases without permission or can only make purchases more petite than a certain amount.
  13. The sub must keep a daily record for the dominant partner’s review, delivered in person or over email/text.
  14. Before going to bed, the sub must masturbate and email images to the dom.
  15. The submissive must not to lie to the dominant.
  16. At all times, the submissive must be respectful.
  17. The submissive must not deceive the Dominant or manipulate any situation to gain their own personal goals.

Ten rules in a dominant-submissive relationship

The relationship rules must be followed all the way through so that everyone is happy with their partner. To be clear, there are no universal norms because these are produced by principles from both sides. If you want to start a relationship without any previous experience, make sure your mind is open to all the rules about coming in to achieve the best possible results.

Be open-minded

In this type of relationship, keeping an open mind is critical. You must be open-minded about your partner’s values and perspectives in any relationship, especially this one. Even though the doms are the ones who carry out the commands in dominant-submissive relationships, that doesn’t mean they can’t learn something from the subs. It depends on your combined experience and willingness to learn and collaborate with one another. This is a team effort, and you must work together to make it enjoyable.
You must also be willing to try new things you may not have liked or considered previously. Maybe this time will be different? Who can say? Try it out and see what happens.

Compassion

I know it sounds strange, but just because your submissive partner like being controlled doesn’t mean they overlook your human side. Your lover wants to fall in love with your human side as well, the one who understands mercy and is willing to bend the rules and administer milder penalties.

Trustworthy

To be trusted, you must first demonstrate trustworthiness. You must prove to your partner that you are honest and trustworthy and can follow the rules and not cross the line. While the sub is expected to perform the servant role, the dom is also likely to be a good leader.

Reduce your expectations

You can’t possibly expect your partner to satisfy all of your wild desires. You must lower your expectations to match your partner’s readiness. In any other case, the relationship will fail.
For instance, if you’re a dominant partner, don’t expect your partner to strip every time you return home from work or to always address you as Master. Imagine coming home from work with a colleague and seeing your partner in the front door naked. It should not be about humiliating your partner! 

Open and honest communication

Communication is essential in a dom-sub relationship, as it is in all others. You must first learn about each other to determine if you are compatible with a dom/sub relationship. You must discuss your health, limits, sex demands, and prior experience in this type of relationship.
For example, if you’re the dominant one and want to push the boundaries a little, you must sit down with your partner and go over everything in detail, so you know whether it’s okay or not.

Make use of a safe word

Be sure you have a safe word when you’ve decided to begin a dom-sub relationship. Because BDSM can be dangerous in-between the sheets, have a safe word that your sub will say to let you know if they need to stop or if they are okay.
The green/yellow/red code is widely used. Green signifies “go ahead,” yellow means “continue with care,” while red means “STOP!” for the relationship to be healthy, the dominant partner must obey the safe word.

Well-being

Both partners must be mentally and physically healthy to have a dom-sub relationship. This includes healthy sleeping habits, limiting alcohol consumption, eating balanced food, and leading a stress-free lifestyle.
If your sub cannot meet your needs due to health issues, do not impose yourself on them. Instead, engage in their well-being and give them the time they need to rebuild their strength before continuing your relationship as before.

Have fun

What is the point of all of this? Isn’t it to have fun? You both do it to have a good time and enjoy your relationship on a whole new level. That is why you must respect one another; else, you will not find what you seek.
Remember that it’s not about punishing someone or going to great lengths to satisfy someone simply because it’s simpler that way. Have fun in the relationship, and don’t forget why you started it in the first place.

Be patient

Your fantasies cannot all come true at the exact moment. Have patience, whether you’re the dominating or the submissive partner. Don’t force your partner to do anything right immediately; instead, have faith that they will relax with time. It’s critical to remember that you’re both humans who need to take their time to get the most out of your positions.

Obey the rules.

Follow through if you set rules at the start of the dom-sub relationship. Don’t just walk up to your dom and tell them you don’t want to do something. If you’ve set specific ground rules, make sure you follow them.

Traits and roles of the submissive

While the dom has the majority of the power, the sub appreciates being controlled. This is not limited to your bedroom. It comprises all of your daily actions designed to meet your dom’s primary demand. No dom should make the sub labour for them. They are not slaves who prefer to please their partner over themselves. Here are some traits of the submissive partner.

Sensitive

A sub should be very aware of their dominant partner’s moods, body language, and tone of speech.

A good pleaser

A sub should constantly be ready to please their dom and willing to comply with their instructions. They must exude a childlike attitude. In addition, the sub partner should be sexually aroused/fascinated by the presence of their dom.

Service

Completing whatever (sexual or otherwise) tasks given to you by your dominant. It’s also a good idea to apply your observations to what you do to satisfy your dom. Service usually refers to things other than sexuality and play (sessions). Housework, cooking, and other activities make the dominant partner’s household appealing.  Essentially, everything done with the explicit goal to satisfy the dominant in any way qualifies as service.

Trust

A submissive should trust themselves, their dom, and their decisions. A sub should rely on the dom to make sound judgments for them. A submissive who is very afraid or closed will have a more difficult time developing a solid relationship with a dominant.

Loyalty

This is a crucial characteristic in a submissive. It is the capacity to uphold your dominant’s rules over others. An effective submissive will not act in a way that casts doubt about their devotion to their dominant partner. It is keeping your end of the bargain with your partner to the best of your ability.

Obedience

This involves gladly obeying your dominant’s terms and doing what you are told in a power exchange relationship. Earnest obedience pleases both the sub and the dom. A submissive does not comply because they are afraid of their dominant. Instead, they obey because they desire to please the dominant.

Keep an Open Mind

This is the ability to look at things with as little preconceived bias as possible. Maintaining one’s ability to learn new things and try something new or different. It works in tandem with growth.

Read: How to be a Submissive

Traits and roles of the dominant


To help you comprehend what’s going on, let me outline some of the dominant partner’s personality traits and roles in a dom-sub relationship.

Patience

Patience is a quality of an excellent dominant. The ability to remain patient while not being pushy. The dominant must be compassionate and caring to create a pleasant environment where the submissive can relax more. This does not imply that you should be lax or weak, but rather that you should learn when to push and when not to. Recognizing that it takes time for a submissive to know all the nuances of serving you and having the patience to teach the submit what you want.

Self-discipline

Before they can securely control another, a competent dominant must first manage himself. A good dominant is not given to out-of-control behaviour, rage fits, or other activities that demonstrate a lack of self-control. A dominant must control their physical urges to keep a scene safe for their submissive partner.

Supporter

A decent dom does not prey on the weak. They don’t try to take advantage of novice submissives by using their lack of understanding. On the contrary, they will protect the inexperienced and vulnerable and will do everything in their power to steer them in the correct direction.

Self-Respect

An excellent dominant values themselves and is aware of their own limitations. A submissive is not fascinated by a bully. A dominant must have a strong feeling of self-worth, or they will cause significant harm to the submissive’s mind.

Zero ego

A good dom admits their errors. They understand that just because they are a Dom doesn’t mean they are flawless. They will accept responsibility for their mistakes and will make amends wherever possible. If they make a mistake during play, they will honestly apologize and ensure that it does not happen again.

Compassion

The ability to observe and, at the very least, attempt to comprehend the emotional parts of your submissive’s personality. Understanding and being aware of the plethora of realities that might physically, emotionally, and mentally harm a submissive. Using compassion intelligently to allow a dom to assist their subs and encourage them during stressful moments demonstrates that they are a well-rounded dominant.

Courtesy

A dominant should be courteous to their submissive and other submissives in the vicinity. Being a dominant partner does not give you the right to be nasty or abusive. This involves being polite to your colleagues.

Trustworthy

A good dom is reliable and a person of integrity, responsibility, and compassion. He will keep his word and mark his end of the contract. He will tell the truth and act honestly, even if it means losing out. He’s trustworthy, and his word is his bond.

Service

This is true for dominants, but not the same way it is valid for submissives. By and through their dominance, a dominant serves their subordinate. The dominant jointly help the submissive by intelligently utilizing their dominant nature and satisfying the physical and emotional requirements of the submissive.

Read: Discover Your Inner Dominant

Submissive rules for a safe, sane and consensual relationship

Many people in the BDSM lifestyle believe that having a secure, sane, and consenting relationship is the key to creating an environment where all persons engaged in a scene feel safe, comfortable, and pleased.

The guidelines listed below will assist you in moving beyond simple rules and beginning to experiment with KINK and BDSM.

  1. The submissive consents willingly to the Dom-sub relationship and BDSM practices and understands how to withdraw consent.
  2. The sub will not attempt to change the power dynamic by topping from the bottom or below, i.e. controlling the scene.
  3. The submissive will trust their dominant to care for them during and after a scene (or their entire relationship), and this trust will reflect in expectations, demands, and regulations.
  4. The submissive will have a safe word and utilize it appropriately.
  5. To the best of their ability and in a way that would make their partner proud, the submissive will obey the dominant’s requests/commands.
  6. The sub will be disciplined by their dom.

Rules for a submissive during playtime

The rules you must follow before and during play in a dom-sub relationship.

  1. Submissive will never touch themselves in a rewarding or pleasing manner outside of the presence of the Dominant or without the Dominant’s consent.
  2. A submissive will never touch a sex toy unless specifically commanded to do so.
  3. After play or sexual activity, the submissive will always appreciate the dominant.
  4. If a submissive is given masturbation instructions prior to asking, they must follow them to the best of their ability.
  5. Before each orgasm the submissive must ask permision to orgasm.
  6. The submissive must thank the dominant after each orgasm
  7. If a submissive wishes to purchase a new sex toy, they must show Dominant so that they can make a mutual decision.
  8. During the play, the submissive will not speak except to say their safe word or the Dominant says so.
  9. The submissive may request a certain sexual act before beginning the scenario, but not during it.
  10. Once the play has begun, the Dominant has complete authority and expects complete participation from the submissive.
  11. Submissive will have sex whenever the Dominant wishes, unless their health stops them from doing so.
  12. After sex the submissive must clean off the dom’s cock with their mouth.
  13. In the morning when the submissive wakes up they will ask the dom if they need cockwarming.
  14. When a submissive is not feeling well enough to engage in sexual activity, they will notify the dominant.
  15. The submissive must not abuse their safe word. It is only employed when they believe their personal safety, either bodily or mental (including terror), is jeopardized.

Final take

Respect and care are essential in a genuinely dom-sub relationship. The only difference here is that rigorous regulations have been created that must be followed to keep both sides happy and content. All good BDSM trips begin with an open discussion about what both people want to learn. What, for example, do they fantasize about? Is it more appealing to them to be wholly obedient or to have complete control? They can then begin to plan out situations that fit inside those criteria.

Are you looking to meet a dominant or submissive partner? Sign up to our kinky community to meet like-minded kinksters.

Femdom: Tasks for subs for an in-person and online sub.

It’s not unusual for femdoms to assign tasks to a submissive, whether you’re in a 24/7 relationship with your submissive or you want to maintain your sexy relationship in their mind until your date the following week. You can’t be with your submissive all the time, and to be candid, it’d be pretty toxic, but giving them a daily task or two may be a really sexy way of making sure they don’t forget who holds the power.

What exactly is FemDom?

Female domination, or femdom as it is often known, is a hugely popular kink. It is a widespread practice in which a woman dominates her partner. It involves impact play, bondage, humiliation, face sitting, pegging, or any other scenario emphasizing the domme’s authority. All of which can be done safely.

Empress Wu, a dominatrix, residing in New York City, defines femdom as a term used to “note that there is a femme-presenting dominant in the kink scene,” or a Domination/submission (D/s) role-play. 

The attractiveness of female domination originates in part from its primary kink: D/s. Submission can satisfy sensual urges to serve, pleasure, or surrender for the sake of submission. Meanwhile, the power struggle with her submissive can be fascinating for dommes.

Many women even claim that FemDom improves their orgasms. Fortunately, there are many FemDom ideas that you and your partner can test out together. FemDom, as previously stated, can also be used by same-sex couples.

FemDom is quite enticing since the women who want to play the dominant role frequently wear sensual apparel, which makes them extremely attractive. So, instead of conventional underwear, you might see your partner wearing a tight corset.

Read How to Be a Fierce Femme Fetale: Tips for the Emerging Dominatrix

Why do women enjoy trying FemDom?

Despite what was once widely held, women are now working as leaders in many parts of the world. Things have evolved, and having a female boss is not as unlikely as it once was. As a result, there will be an increasing number of women in the partnership who want to be in charge. And they genuinely know how to steer the relationship, so we’re not sure what’s wrong with that.

Many women enjoy FemDom because it provides them with freedom and independence. Every woman carries a Dominatrix within her that yearns to be released. There is a Tigress within you waiting to be released. Most of the female dominance you may have seen in porn movies is far too excessive, and it is primarily staged. They are also quite challenging to carry out.

Exploring FemDom with your partner might genuinely strengthen your sexual connection and bring you closer together in the long run. It also increases trust and promotes communication. At the end of the day, good communication skills are essential ingredients in any successful, healthy relationship—romantic or otherwise.

FemDom is popular among women because it gives them control. Being in charge can be pretty enticing. It’s fun to be in charge of your spouse, having them perform your duties, run errands for you, and punish them for jobs they don’t do.

Some good things to ask your online subs to determine their interest in a FemDom relationship are:

  • What might our online relationship look like in an ideal world?
  • How frequently would we talk? Do you primarily expect real-time updates?
  • What choices do you have for communicating online? (Skype, snapchat, Kik, Discord, and so on.)
  • What services can you offer me?
  • What could you help me with?
  • How long do you think this will last?
  • How would you let me know if you don’t want to continue? (Be careful of anyone who doesn’t have a clear answer.) You’ll almost certainly be ghosted.)
  • What real-life obligations will have an impact on our connection, and how can I ensure we don’t interfere with them?

What everyday activities can you do with your sub in an online relationship?

Since you will be in an online relationship, you should be prepared to have a video call, text, or voice call with the person. Remember, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, but there is no point in being in a relationship if you don’t talk voice to voice or cam to cam. Here are some things you could do on a video call together:

  1. Request that the submissive write essays. It could be about the gratification of pain, why reverence is essential, how to hold a certain position, or anything else. If you want, you can create guidelines for all of these. Such as number of words, no incorrect spellings, and proper grammar. Just make certain to read It dominatrix!
  2. Before starting the day, write the dominatrix’s name on the submissive’s body to remind them who owns them.
  3. Have the sub perform exercises on a daily basis to improve their body.
  4. Search YouTube for amusing videos.
  5. Have the submissive take photos/video of any task completed/as ‘proof’ that it was completed.
  6. Make video messages for each other that are affectionate, erotic, orders, and fantasy.
  7. Call each other in the middle of the night (but not too frequently! ), just to say you’re thinking about each other.
  8. Call the sub and instruct them to listen to the dominatrix masturbate/instruct them to masturbate.
  9. Have the submissive go shopping for specific products.
  10. Make the submissive wear no underpants for the entire day.
  11. Have the submissive write your name on their body and leave it there all day.
  12. Teach them how to tie a crotch rope and then have them wear it one day.
  13. Have the submissive to wear butt plugs in public.
  14. Decide on their appearance for the day.
  15. Take filthy pictures in public locations.
  16. Request that they dress up in a specific manner and pose for photographs.
  17. Have them imitate other photos you’ve seen on the internet.
  18. Instruct the sub to eat only at scheduled times.

Exciting FemDom Ideas for an in-person sub

This is where all dominant females shine since they all have wild imaginations and crazy ideas running through their heads, and when they need to keep you occupied, they have no shortage of things to hand out to you. If you are not running errands or doing labor for Mistress, you should be doing something. The femdom tasks you will be given must be completed exactly as written.

Allow your partner to adore your feet

Some females become extremely aroused when their partner kisses or licks their feet and shoes, which may seem strange to some people. Consider wearing a good pair of gorgeous high heels that you bought specifically for your FemDom kink night.
Allow your partner to lick it, raise their body temperature, and lure them with the promise of more.
Other aspects of foot worship include gently kicking your companion with your foot. You can even tread on him and finally ask them to lick your bare feet; after all, you want your spouse to worship your feet, don’t you?

Cock and ball bondage 

Cock and ball bondage is not for everyone. So, if it feels a little too terrifying for your partner in especially, you can buy a stretchable penile ring instead of a metallic cock ring. They’re stretchy and comfortable to wear. Inquire if they are at ease using them.
Understand, you are not making a pornographic video, and you are here to test FemDom because you want to have fun. You can acquire a metal cock ring if they become comfortable with the cock and ball bondage.


There is also a product called Gates of Hell on the market, including many metal rings. That’s quite harsh, but if your partner wants it, give it to him. You can also acquire a cage for your partner if you’re going to try something more intense.
Request that they bring their genitals inside and wrap them in a plastic bag. Don’t let him go too hard, and that’s their task.

It’s time for some sissy fun.

Why not get your male companion a pair of girlie underwear? You may not be aware, but some men enjoy wearing frilly underwear when in a submissive position. They enjoy hearing insults or compliments from their companion.
If it’s not enjoyable and he doesn’t like it, you can both laugh about it later. Wouldn’t it be fantastic to inject some levity into your FemDom routine? Consider this. You can also make your partner wear it as a kind of punishment.

Check the internet for the most fantastic underwear for your lover so that you may both have the best time together. While he is getting dressed for you, come up with a pseudonym for your submissive partner and call him by that name. If he gets turned on by that, humiliate him or laugh aloud.

Consider using Impact Play.

If you wish to engage in full-time FemDom kink, you should try impact play. You can come up with a way to discipline your submissive partner. Ask them to get down on their knees and transform into a dog.
Spank his buttocks hard, and let your spouse request more spanks to turn him on. You can use your hands, a tailed riding crop, or a spatula if you want to go old-school. This will give you the distinct impression that you are assuming a dominant role.

Paddles, slappers, crops, canes, floggers, and whips are just a few of the tools you can use to spank your partner’s buttocks. Each of these wacky objects is available for purchase online. Buy these if you want the FemDom thing to be taken seriously.

Consider bondage.

Bondage is a must-do activity if you want to take FemDom to its extreme. Consider using a standard handcuff to bind your partner’s hands. You can blindfold them or put a scarf in their mouth to prevent them from speaking.
If you really want to hurt their body, you can bind their wrists and legs together and try to stretch them. Another item you can purchase for the bondage role-playing activity is the gag.
Request that he stretches his legs puts on some nipple clamps, and torture you until he pleads you to let him have sex with you.

Tease him

Include teasing to make your partner feel aroused while you attempt other things. Touch him all over since this will make him highly wet. You must tease him and continue to push him. He’ll ask you for more as soon as he can.
Begin by softly touching him. You can choose to touch his chest or genital regions, and if he tries to touch you, you can tell him that you have not yet given him permission to do so. When he oversteps his bounds, remind him that he owes you an apology.
You can also request that your spouse call you by a specific name or refer you as the Mistress.

Keep his orgasm under control

Assume you let him play with your vagina. He starts fucking you hard, and when you sense he’s cumming, you may control or stop him from cumming by wearing a chastity belt and hitting him hard enough to spoil the entire climax atmosphere.
Many people love being able to manage their partner’s orgasm. You can control his orgasm for as long as you want. You can repeatedly bring your lover to the brink of orgasm and then refuse to let them cum.  That is the entire game!

Request that they serve you.

This is the most enjoyable aspect of the FemDom kink. Request that your partner serve you. You can request that he do anything for you.
Tell him that you want a complete body massage, that you want a boob massage, that you wish to anything and everything from him, and your partner will deliver it to you. If you don’t want to be horny, have him paint your nails or give you a foot massage instead.
Consider anything you would like your partner to serve you with, and he must do so.

Humiliate him

Another approach to improve your FemDom relationship with your partner is to humiliate them. Humiliation does not necessarily have to be severe, but partners who frequently practice FemDom feel better when the female degrades him more severely. Insults can cause your man to develop a hard-on.


There are numerous options available to you. For example, when your sub eventually begins to fuck you, you can inform him that his performance is terrible. Try to embarrass him as much as possible. He will do his best to please you. After all, why wouldn’t you desire a good fuck?
You might even consider forcing them to perform embarrassing behaviors, such as dancing or dressing like a lady. Tell them to lick their own cum when he orgasms, and punish him if he doesn’t.

Consider anal play.

You should first consult with your partner about anal play humiliation. Find out if they are okay with the idea of dominance. If they agree, you can purchase anal sex items such as dildos and butt plugs.
Anal play might be daunting for some men, and some may feel ashamed after an anal sex play. Many straight men believe that the anal plug is only for women’s sexual pleasure, not men’s, even though anal play can be enjoyed by anybody.
You have complete control over the anal play. You can ask your partner to lie down in a specific position for you and begin playing with their butthole in any way that makes you feel happier.

Before you begin the anal activity, inform your partner that you’d prefer him to come to clean shaved for you. Request that he shave your genitals properly. A prostate massage is something that some guys appreciate. If your man is into it, toying with their anus may be a lot of fun.
To make things more enjoyable for both of you, we propose discussing it with your partner and asking them if they are willing to go for butt play. After all, consent is the most fundamental component of any sexual connection, which is more accurate when exploring BDSM.

Request oral sex from your partner

FemDom allows you to feel pleasure exactly how you want it. So, while he is still obedient and you haven’t finished punishing him or requesting him to serve you better, you might urge your partner to kneel down and begin giving you oral pleasure.
You can request that he give you oral sex in a specific manner or that he use a sex toy on you. You may comment on his performance while he performs the routine for you. Also, you can choose to congratulate him for doing his job correctly or criticize him for his poor performance.

Request that your man dress a certain way.

Females in FemDom do not always have to dress in a certain way to appear dominant. You might request that your man dress the way you want him to. This will undoubtedly excite your FemDom fetish.
When it comes to your attire, you can wear whatever makes you feel powerful.
Black is the perfect color to go with because it is just the appropriate hue to look and feel dominant. On the other hand, men can be asked to wear feminine panties that they may have purchased or to remain naked.

You have several options, including wearing high heels to satisfy your foot fetish. Some women love to wear thigh-high boots with their pencil skirts. If a pencil skirt isn’t your thing, try a bodycon dress. You can also wear a corset with black underwear.
Lingerie can also be a fantastic option. You’re the queen of the show, so wear whatever feels comfortable.

Making use of props

When performing a FemDom act, women might employ several accessories. Some props are used to spank the partner. Some are intended for bondage, while others are intended for anal play.
The dominating partner may use any accessory she like, depending on the manner and level of humiliation she desires.

Impact play

It is an essential foreplay method for the dominant partner to command the submissive partner. The Mistress of the home can employ various forms such as spanking, bondage, preventing him from cumming after reaching the peak, taunting, and so on.

Suede whip

A suede whip is a toy. A dominatrix can use it to spank her partner’s ass. The quality of the suede whip and the type of mark it leaves on the partner’s ass makes the dominatrix feel the shame she is causing the man.

Spanking

The technique entails striking the partner’s buttocks while groaning. This technique employs paddles, floggers, crops, canes, and other implements. Sometimes the submissive partner wishes for the dominatrix to spank him to turn him on.

Sensory play

Sensory play is a method used by females to turn themselves on. The technique entails bootlicking, foot licking, and a variety of other behaviors that stimulate the sensory nerves of the dominant partner. The dominatrix will employ props such as a pinwheel, feathers, ice, and so on to arouse her lover.

Face sitting

Smothering, queening, or kinging is an erotic practice in which a dominant female sits on her sub’s face. There are various variations, such as when a sub is required to gratify a Domme by licking her genitals (ass and pussy) or when a sub is required to bear Mistress’s weight while torturing him fully clothed.
Sometimes, a Domme can use a particular face sitting furniture, such as a smother box or a queening stool. The fact that a Mistress can smother a sub any time and any location is one of the reasons for her appeal. Some individuals are particularly attracted when a domineering girl has an enormous ass.

Wear a blindfold

Domination through blindfold is an intriguing sort of domination. The man is entirely in the dark because his eyes are blinded, and he can only hear the sound of his partner wandering around and laughing. This strategy can be frightening because the person can only imagine the humiliation the female partner would tolerate.

Pinwheel

While having sex, pinwheel domination is both an exciting and hazardous strategy. The method entails utilizing a pinwheel with spikes affixed to it. It is then put into the male partner’s butthole. It gives the companion both an exhilarating and uncomfortable experience.

Feathers

It is one of the most widely used domination methods. It’s one of the most secure means of commanding and teasing a man’s senses. In this form of rule, the male partner is constantly stimulated but cannot get an erection.
The stimulation activates the person’s sensory nerves, causing an erection.

Ice

The ice play is a risky but safe sort of foreplay. It is crucial when used on sensitive and thin skin parts such as the penis, clitoris, etc. The ice might obstruct sensory movement and cause nerve injury, leading the person to lose excitement.
You can use it in the nipple area and other body parts. Interestingly, the dominatrix should administer the freezing therapy without any previous warning.

Cuckolding

Cuckolding is a fetish in which males enjoy watching their partners have sex with others. If you want to start the whole thing from the beginning and work your way down, you can initiate with another man while your partner watches.
The female partner can make it even more vicious by not observing the man.

Read Femdom Blog: Discover Your Inner Dominant

Humiliation vs. Sexual Tasks

Subs tasks are classified into two major categories: humiliating tasks and sexual tasks. It will be dependent on who you engage with and what you enjoy doing. It is vital to identify whether or not task categories are assigned or if the two are merged.

List of humiliating tasks to assign to your online sub

  • Applying red lipstick Draw the words “slut” all over your head, “tit” on your face, and “fag” on your right cheek. Ensure to smear lipstick all over your lips as messily as possible. Make a small sign that says ” ‘s Bitch” by hand. Snap a photograph and email it to me.
  • Put on a bra and pantyhose, reach for a cucumber. Give that cucumber the best blow job. You can either video it or snap photos, whatever is more convenient for you. To accomplish the challenge, you must submit at least 5 images or a 30-second video.
  • Wear a plain t-shirt. Make holes in your shirt so that only your nipples show. Take a picture of yourself touching your nipples while holding an ice cream sandwich and take a photo in the presence of the retailer.
  • Put on an adult diaper before going to work. You are not permitted to use any bathrooms throughout the day and must hold your urine for as long as possible before being forced to leak in your diaper.
  • Masturbate with a generous dose of Icy Hot or muscle massage before eating your minty load of cum.
  • You will be handed a composed note from me, enclosed in an envelope, and will be required to hand it over to the most gorgeous lady in the mall. You must wait there as she reads it, oblivious to the information it contains about your task. Also, you must then follow her instructions. I’m in the mall.
  • Dip a loaf of bread in hot chocolate and fuck it until it’s time to cum. Shoot your load onto a slice of the freshly fucked bread, then devour the cum-covered, bread.

List of sexual tasks to assign to your online sub

  • Observe the dominatrix masturbating. The submissive may or may not be allowed to touch, themselves.
  • Allow the submissive replicating lick the dominatrix pussy (with a finger or toy) While chatting, keep the subordinate naked.
  • While you watch, have the submissive masturbate, smack themselves, taste their cum, pinch their nipple, and play with toys.
  • Whether you notify them ahead of time, or not, call them when you’re horny, and have your sub show you your favorite parts of their body. This can make any day a little bit sexier.
  • Make them write you some dirty poetry, record an audio or video of them telling you exactly what they think of when they touch themselves, or paint you a picture of the heated things going through their heads.
  • If you don’t want your sub to create anything completely from beginning, you can have them explore the internet for pornographic content and select only the best for their mistress to see. Make a Tumblr for just the two of you, fill an erotica anthology with post-its, and make a favorites list on your favorite porn site (one that you pay for, please!). This is another wonderful method to get inside your submissive’s head, and the best part is, they’ve already done the legwork for you the next time you need to come up with a scene idea!
  • Do you want your partner to try something new and give feedback to you? Instructing them to conduct sexual experiments on themselves can include asking them to size up to a larger toy so they can take more when they see you, instructing them to learn exactly what kind of vibration they enjoy, instructing them to practice their deep-throating so you can use their mouth more efficiently, or whatever your pervy little heart desires.

Read The 10 Best Femdom Sex Toys for Your Femdom Fantasy

Final take

Typically, tasks result from the creativity and strenuous effort of the dominatrix who dominates her subs. That is to say, there are no restrictions on what you can ask of the sub. Remember that delegating tasks should be fun for you and stem from genuine honesty. It shouldn’t be a guessing game as to what a sub wants. There are also different methods for controlling your sub while in a long-distance relationship.

Remember that the more you communicate, the more you will enjoy yourself. While experimenting with FemDom, you may need to purchase specific items, such as BDSM sex toys, sex furniture, or anything else that will allow you and your partner to enjoy each other more.

Join our kinky community Foxtail to meet sex-positive people who are ready to explore their kinks. Also, you will most definitely find more interesting articles to spice up your sex life. If you’re a dominatrix, a submissive partner, or just a curious individual looking to explore their fetish, please share your thoughts in the comments section.

A Guide to Safe Fun Consensual Non-consent (CNC).

Many people are turned on by the thought of being coerced into having sex or other acts. Consensual Non-Consent (CNC) is a fun and safe method to explore your desires. This guide will assist you and your partner with exploring CNC in an enjoyable, secure, and stimulating way for all parties involved. Like everything else in human sexuality, CNC is complicated and warrants deeper exploration.

What is CNC Kink or Rape Play?

CNC Kink scenes are a relationship between two (or more) consenting adults. One of them appears to do uncomfortable or hurtful things to the other, who does not seem to enjoy it or agree. However, before any potentially dangerous encounters between them occur, they sit down and carefully establish the boundaries of that relationship.

Fantasies of forced sex have different implications in the BDSM world. Many people associate non – conventional action with dominance/submissive play. The most important thing to remember is that this individual has given their dominant partner permission to participate in this type of Power exchange play session. Before the session begins, they mutually agree on all of their restrictions.

In regular partnerships, the rules and boundaries are thoroughly discussed before proceeding so that both partners remain secure and have the enjoyment they seek.

Is CNC kink and forced sex fantasies normal?

Rape elicits strong emotions, especially when it appears in the headlines or on social media. However, it is critical to recognize that having a rape fetish does not imply that you should feel bad about it. Sixty-two percent of women have admitted to daydreaming about these power shifts in the bedroom.

It’s completely natural to be piqued by the prospect of CNC. In fact, by some estimates, more than half of the population is involved. Those that are uninterested in CNC are among the few. You are not a terrible person if you are interested in CNC. You’re an average person with regular human desires.

Remember that many fetishes and kinks entail playing imagined renditions of horrifying situations when they occur in real life. Nobody likes to be cuffed and imprisoned, be flogged because they disobeyed arbitrary regulations. Nobody wants to be kidnapped. But, in a context where the harm has been eliminated, these things can be enjoyable to explore through fantasy play.

When practiced with consent, a consensual non-consent (CNC) kink is a healthy type of sexual play. The reality about consensual non-consent kink or rape play is that it gives the persons involved the opportunity to play and shelter themselves from roles associated with power that are not equal. CNC, Katerina Balestrieri Kink, is a fantastic method to participate in non-real-life sexual desires, but it is also a form of entertainment.

Read How to Be a Dom: 4 Steps to Tame Top Drop (Aftercare)

Consensual kinks aren’t unethical

It is NOT illegal if something does not conform with the other regulations. The vast majority of CNC players have no desire to rape or sexually attack anyone. They don’t want to do anything to another person’s body that they haven’t openly consented to. There is always a great deal of negotiating before any kind of CNC engagement to ensure that no one’s agreement is abused. For instance, DD/LG is a relationship in which one person pretends to be the teen or purposefully regresses to a childlike mindset. At the same time, the other takes on the role of caregiver. This dynamic can contain a variety of actual dynamics, but what explains it is that this dynamic is the consensual relationship between two adults who can put restrictions on the types of interactions they may have beforehand.

People who role-play incest or have intercourse with a student enjoy aspects of the dynamic that make it sexually appealing (the forbidden nature, processing through the “this is wrong” feelings, illicit-feeling power dynamics). Still, they would never, ever want to have sex with someone they had power over.

There are numerous reasons people would wish to indulge in a kink that appears unethical or unlawful. I can’t tell you all of them, but many boil down to one thing: power may be seductive. Control can be sensual. It can be desirable to fantasize about having power or authority. Engaging in something as sensitive as handing over or receiving power can foster intimacy.

What about sexual assault victims?

Several survivors liked the CNC kink since the consenting part of the system gave them the impression they hadn’t been attacked before. Others are unwilling to participate in comparable sexual conduct. Both can be beneficial approaches to having sex during an abuse. Some people believe they will feel empowered rather than helpless, terrified, or embarrassed by consenting to these forced behaviors. It’s a means for individuals to regain psychological control over what has happened to them in the past. Rather than feeling like a victim, they’re regaining control over their lives. If you or your partner want to engage in this form of play but are concerned that it would be traumatic for either of you, you can always seek therapy to help you get started.

5 things you should know about Consensual Non Consent

Consensual Non-Consent in BDSM

These relationships are characterized by a high of trust rather than a lot of abuse. Even though sexual fantasy playing is a reasonably prevalent form of rape, it is still taboo. The fact of the matter is that the sub has explicitly stated their desire for this type of play. Non-consensual also means that sometimes, the dom may be forced to make the sub obey if they don’t comply with their commands.

Do you require a CNC contract?

Even though there is a BDSM relationship between two people, no implies no in English. He also has to know that the sub will cooperate, even if it means shouting and crying to get them to stop. Many partners avoid using safe words in non-consensual play because they provide too much control to the submissive. If you have a strong relationship, you should talk about eliminating safe words in particular instances, such as discipline. 

The Importance of Aftercare

Aftercare is a time following the BDSM session in which both lovers recover and assess their emotional and mental well-being. This should be a moment to unwind and reflect on the event. Aftercare assures couples that what transpired was all good fun and that no harm was done. Some folks may require a different type of aftercare following the CNC procedure. For dominant players, the typical cuddling and tenderness can be challenging. Some partners cannot accept love immediately following the CNC scene since the act of abuse-play can elicit actual feelings such as rage or despair.

Because feelings following a game, particularly for beginners, cannot be foreseen, all participants should take their time, space, or whatever they require to recover. Aftercare following a CNC session may require extra time and tenderness, but it should let both parties rest. It is also an ideal moment for couples to discuss their experience. You can discuss what you liked and disliked and utilize this feedback to improve the future CNC session.

Rape play isn’t just a kink fantasy.

Many BDSM participants may use the phrases rape play and consensual non-consent equally, but they are not the same, as we explained earlier. Rape play is only one facet of a CNC kink. Even those in non-romantic relationships may harbor such fantasies.

On the other hand, playing it out can be incredibly therapeutic for victims of previous abuse. CNC can have a broader significance for them. It could be a method for them to revisit the event, knowing that they now have the power to stop it.

If you’re participating in rape play with someone, make sure the boundaries are clearly stated and mentioned in your contract or agreement. 

Suggestions for dominant and submissive sex and even beyond

Consensual non-consent can be expressed in various ways, both sexual and non-sexual. Here are some ideas and examples if you are in a BDSM relationship or even if you only play part-time:

  • The Dom can wear costumes as a real assailant (if wearing a mask, make sure at least part of the face is visible so the sub understands it’s not a real attacker).
  • Use rope to bind and choke the sub during sex.
  • Administer punishments that the sub will find repulsive.
  • Indulge in torture play that pushes the sub’s boundaries.

Read How to Be a Sub: 7 Must Have Aftercare Practices

A list of consensual non-consent roleplaying ideas


Playing a role in a show is quite similar to role-playing. Here are a few instances and everyday conversations to get you started.

Burglary went wrong

The dom thief learns the sub is “completely unconscious” in bed while committing a heist. They study them while the sub is “unaware” and determine they want the sub more than their plasma Television or jewelry. They strip “wake” the sub with a palm over their mouth or a knife to their neck and start to abuse them.

Typical dialogue:

  • “Please don’t stare at my face. “If you keep those eyes closed, I just may let you go.”
  • “This is taking place. It makes no difference how much you tear about it.”
  • “You’d best keep your mouth shut. I’m going to have to harm you if you make a noise.”
Detention at school

There are elements of age play in this game.

The student is the submissive partner, while the dominant partner is the teacher. The student has been detained back after offending in the classroom. The dom lecturers them on their behavior, possibly forcing them to draw pictures on a whiteboard or stand in a corner. When the sub argues with the dom, the dom becomes angry and resorts to harsher punishment.

Typical dialogue:

  • “You’ve been requesting this for a long time.”
  • “It’s too late to apologize.” “Keep your mouth shut and close it.”
  • “At long last, you’re going to get what you deserve.”
  • “This is what happens when you choose the wrong guy to mess with.”
The Doctor’s Office

There are elements of medical play in this game.

The submissive (a patient) is going to a routine visit for a health checkup. The dom (a medical doctor) does some basic tests, such as taking their heartbeat and monitoring their blood pressure. Then, gradually, the dom begins to desire more. They have the sub remove their clothes for an examination, but then they order them to remove their underpants as well. They could hold them for another assessment or force them to be humiliating or invasive surgery, gradually progressing to a vicious assault.

Typical dialogue:

  • “I may have to handcuff you if you continue to be disrespectful.”
  • “This may be a bit painful, but I’ll get there as soon as possible.”
  • “Stand still!”
Arresting a hoodlum

The dom is a cop who has caught the sub and plans to lock them up for the night. The sub is trying to prevent this. The sub attempts to negotiate, believing that they will pay off the police officer with money or a fake story. In exchange for their freedom, the dom blackmails the sub into delivering sexual favors.

Typical dialogue

  • “If they find out you attempted to bribe me, you’re in serious trouble.”
  • “Would you like to sleep overnight in jail?” No? So, lean over.”
  • “You and I are the only ones here. There are no cameras. No one else. You’d best do what’s asked of you.”
  • “As soon as I saw your adorable tiny boob, I knew I was going to fuck you.”
Inmates in prison

The sub has been in prison a while and discovered that the only thing to trade in their body. The sub unwillingly consents to the dom, a seasoned inmate, fucking them in return for smokes, other food, security, and so forth.

Typical dialogue:

  • “You’d better make this worthwhile for me, or you’ll receive nothing.”
  • “Quit crying. You’re getting good value.”
  • “Kitten, scream for me.” “I enjoy some little bustle.”
Competitors in business

The sub is new to the area, having lately opened a shop near the dom and beginning snatching their clients. The top is furious and has constantly urged the sub to pull off and find their own zone. These warnings have gone unheeded by the sub. Incensed, the dom tracks down the sub after a hard day and puts them to a humiliating and extended assault in an attempt to drive them out of the city.

Typical dialogue:

  • “Didn’t I warn you?” You should practice listening. This is entirely your problem.”
  • “This is what you get for stepping on my toes.” “You really should have understood faster.”
  • “Are you going to start crying?” I’d like to watch you cry. I’m not stopping until I see some tears.”
Simply good friends

The dom and sub are both watching a movie. Everything is fine and comfortable. Slowly, the dom approaches the sub and starts to touch them. The sub pulls away, but this only makes the dom more demanding and eventually violent. The sub may attempt to dismiss the situation, divert the dom, or convince them of their relationship – albeit ineffectively.

Typical dialogue:

  • “You’re capable of doing this for me.” Remember, we’re friends?”
  • “This is me. You seem to like me. I’m sure you like me. And you’ll enjoy this. I’m confident you will.”
  • “I’m so fucked up. You’re going to have to help me out.”
Abduction

Bondage components are present.

The dom kidnapped the sub and is currently chaining them to a chair. They plan on returning them safely if a ransom is paid… However, they lose their cool when they learn that the ransom will not be delivered or when the prisoner is not submissive enough to them. They are furious and force themselves to the sub.

Typical dialogue:

  • “No one is going to rescue you. You’re all mine. “I’m free to do whatsoever I want to you.”
  • “You cost me the ransom money, so now you have to pay.”
  • “All right, go ahead. Scream as much as you want. It will not prevent this from happening.”

Important questions to consider before pursuing Consentual non-consent play.

These are the kinds of questions that will help you decide if you’re ready to ride the wave of consensual non-consent play.

Are you prepared for CNC?

This is something only you are aware of. But perhaps these questions will be of assistance…

  • Do you express your wants effectively?
  • Have you investigated CNC and what it entails for you?
  • Are you willing to have no boundaries?
  • Are you at ease now that we’ve discussed it and the trial periods? (It is acceptable to reconsider your opinion.)
  • Is your Dominant on the same path as you?
  • How do you deal with being pushed outside of your comfort zone?
  • Are you a mature person?
  • Do you keep secrets from your Dominant?
  • Have you ever told your Dominant a lie?
  • Do you have any coping strategies in place? (Have you discussed aftercare?)
  • Do you follow orders?
  • Do you have trouble putting your faith in others?

Is your dominant deserving and ready for CNC?

Again, only you will know the answer to this question. But maybe when you answer these questions, you’ll have a clearer sense…

  • Have they already lied to you before?
  • Is there good communication between you two?
  • Have they ever pushed your buttons?
  • What is your level of familiarity with them?
  • Do they become furious easily?
  • How do they respond when they are upset?
  • Are they ready?
  • Have they previously had CNC relationships?
  • Are they forthcoming with you?
  • Do you ever get the impression that they keep certain aspects of themselves hidden?
  • Do they keep anything hidden?
  • Are they encouraging?
  • How long has your Dominant been your Dominant?
  • Do they regard you favorably?
  • Is your relationship sexually manly?
  • Do they have feelings for you that go beyond sex?
  • Do they know who you really are?

CNC requires a great deal of conversation and confidence. Do your homework and figure out what works best for you and your partner.

How can I enjoy CNC in a safe manner?

Play with a partner you trust.

CNC relies on trust. When you indulge in CNC with someone you don’t know very well, it’s more probable that something will go awry. This is true of both the dom and the sub. When consenting to a CNC situation, the dom must believe that the sub is faithful and understands what they are committing to. The sub must have faith that the dom will adhere to any limitations that have been agreed upon.

Communication is essential.

In a consensual non-consent environment, there may be some things you must avoid. For instance, you wouldn’t want your partner to mistakenly provoke your phobias or to mistreat you in a way that aggravates an existing hurt.

You can prevent these unpleasant experiences by going over the scene with your partner in depth before you begin or by committing to acts that you know are comfortable with your partner. When you’re in the midst of a CNC scene, it’s not the time to try anything new and expect that your partner is interested.

Play in a suitable environment.

During the play, you and your partner may create sounds that appear scary to your neighbors. Similarly, suppose you indulge in the absolutely thrilling (but also perilous) play of doing consensual non-consent activities outdoors. In that case, you may be spotted by someone unaware that what they are witnessing has all been pre-arranged.

Suffice to say, attempting to justify your somewhat exotic sexual life to a police officer is not a pleasant experience. To prevent engaging with cops, choose your time and location with forethought and consideration for those around you.

Make a script/ spice it up

If you’re already in a Dominant/Submissive relationship, you’ve probably experimented with various role plays to get a sense of what your partner likes and dislikes. However, if you’re entirely new to any form of role play, take some time to plan out what you’re going to do ahead of time.

Within the parameters of the script, the scene can be completely adaptable. While your partner may have requested that you tie them up and gag them, the rest is up to you. Some couples find it helpful to write down their sexual fantasies and what will happen during their consensual non-consent scene. Make a list of everything you’ll need, from what you’ll wear to the gadgets you’ll need to send your partner into orgasmic mayhem. This enhances the mutually formed script’s sense of safety.

It’s vital to set the mood for the sub. If you’re the dom, attempt to keep your sub interested by using punishment or dirty talk. The sub can surprise the dom by attempting to escape, attack, or even pin down their dom. The constant movement in power adds to the fun of exploring this fantasy.

 Use a safe word.

A safeword is a pre-agreed-upon phrase that can be used by any person at any time to halt the scenario. There are several reasons why you should utilize your safe word:

Things are a little hotter than you expected, and you’re not happy about it.

You’ve just strained a groin muscle.

You should pause to ensure that your partner is still loving the play.

People frequently connect safe words with BDSM in general, but they are actually intended expressly for consensual non-consent situations. After all, you may always ask to stop or take a rest at any time.

Keep an eye out for freezing.

Some people freeze up and lose their capacity to communicate when exposed to frightening or overwhelming situations. For some, the overwhelming sensation of panic and excitement is an exciting and desirable aspect of consensual non-consent play. It can be uncomfortable and frightening for some people, and it can impair the ability to use your safe word if necessary.

What should we do about it?

Finally, inform your partner if you know that you are susceptible to freezing up. Of course, not everyone is aware that they may respond by freezing until it occurs. As a result, as a dom, you should pay close attention to your partner throughout the play, looking for indicators that they are having difficulty communicating. Instances include:

  • Going completely white
  • Violent shivering
  • A abrupt lack of reactivity when they were previously reacting
  • A glossy, not-quite-there expression

Check in with your partner if you observe any of these things or if you just want to make sure they’re still having fun. Before proceeding, speak with them and ensure that you get a reasonable reply (rather than simply repeating what you want them to say).

Take into account the need for aftercare.

Following a consensual non-consent scene, most people need aftercare. Even if the play is based on a severe or harsh fantasy notion, aftercare should be considered. Even if sending your partner crying, shattered, and alone is part of your pre-arranged great time, you should plan to check in with them after the play is finished to ensure that they are okay and to meet any needs they may have.

Make time for aftercare, and make sure you know what your partner may require before the scenario begins. 

Read The Amazing Benefits of Aftercare Kink

Final take

Engaging in CNC play necessitates a deep understanding of one’s partner(s), not only sexually but also in terms of their trauma history, medical issues, unusual reactions, mood patterns, and so on. This usually takes time and considerable communication during a relationship or dynamic history.  It’s excellent if you enjoy the CNC kink in your spare time. Honesty, open communication, and aftercare (debriefing) contribute to a secure and pleasurable environment.

Are you looking to meet with singles or couples into CNC kink? Join Foxtail to meet exceptional sex-positive individuals.

What are your thoughts on consensual non-consent? Leave your opinions and suggestions in the comments section.

DDLG: Daddy and Little Girl the Ultimate Age play Guide.

Daddy Dom and Little Girl (DDLG) relationships are one of the most misconstrued BDSM relationships. A DD/LG relationship can be immensely gratifying for many couples. There are many new and exciting feelings to discover, and it might offer an entirely new dynamic to your current relationship.
Continue reading to learn about “Little Space” and “Daddy Rules”, as well as new ways to enjoy age play with the correct interests.

What is Daddy Dom and Little Girl (DDLG)?

DDLG stands for Daddy Dom Little Girl. DDLG or DD/LG is a type of age-play, a kink/fetish in which one person is a caregiver or Daddy, and the other is a child. It is not the relationship between a parent and a child. DDLG is a close cousin to BDSM and is essentially a kinky age play/roleplay between two consenting adults. DDLG has NOTHING to do with incest; it is a play played by two CONSENTING ADULTS.

DDLG is a subtype of BDSM that shares many characteristics with other BDSM relationship styles. It’s also known as DD/LB (Daddy Dom/Little Boy), MD/LG (Mommy Dom/Little Girl), or MD/LB (Mommy Dom/Little Boy). However, these words are less frequent because the most prevalent relationship is between a Daddy Dom and a Little Girl.

What is a Daddy Dom?

This phrase is used in both the BDSM and the DDLG communities. In a Dom/sub relationship, the Dominant partner is known as Daddy Dom. In the relationship, Daddy is in charge. He also controls or tends for the little girl, his submissive partner. The Little is both dominated and disciplined by Daddy. Giving punishments and rewards is part of discipline.

Daddy Doms enjoy the gratification of having someone rely on them and depend on them to “solve it” when things become challenging. Littles continuously seek their Daddy’s praise and attention and will go to great lengths to please them. When his baby girl refuses to obey rules, Daddy Dom enjoys the satisfaction of spanking her in any way he wants (and she has consented to). She will also go to him for her sexual desires because he can best satisfy her.

What is a Little?

Little enjoys pretending to be younger than she actually is. Little is at her most subservient, fragile, and occasionally bratty when she is in the role/headspace. The Little age range is usually between 2 and 8 years old. It’s an excellent method for littles to get away from their responsibilities and relieve tension.

What makes Daddy happy, makes the little comfortable, and vice versa. He’ll make her feel perpetually young and lovely, and he’ll pamper and adore her. Subs who chose this relationship are typically very delicate at times, and having a caring, fatherly figure in their life is very comforting. Similarly, being told they’re a “sweet girl” makes sub immensely happy. And knowing they’re making their Daddy joyful by following the DDlg rules brings them a lot of comforts.

What is age play?

Age-play is a type of roleplaying in which one acts or treats another as if he were a different age. Age playing is the Dom acting as if the sub is a certain age, usually younger, ranging from toddler to teenager. As a result, the sub treats their Dom as if he were their Daddy. He assumes the paternal role of defender and caregiver, and when necessary, he imposes discipline and training. The sub becomes his “little” and is emotionally, physically, sexually, and sometimes financially dependent. Age players are not pedophiles. In most cases, pedophilia is defined as a feeling involving sexual behaviors toward minors. A submissive is not a child but rather a consenting adult performing in the role of a child. Both age playing and DDLG provide tremendous satisfaction for individuals involved.

Read 40 and Sexually Active Taking Care of Your Sensuality

DDLG rules, little space, activities, rewards, punishments and aftercare.

DDLG rules.

DD/LG focuses on being pleased and dreading rejection. Pats on the back of the head and kisses on the forehead are essential. Spankings are frequently necessary. Keeping that ‘dad knows everything’ mindset should help to improve an already extremely intimate bond. The following are some good rules for “littles”:

  • Always refer to Daddy Dom as Daddy / Papi, Commander, etc.
  • Daddy will choose your clothes, and you must request them while trying on clothes. But, you can offer suggestions.
  • Eat with cute plastic dishes and cutlery.
  • Greet your Daddy with a hug, kiss, and a colorful picture when he returns home.
  • Believe in Daddy’s decision. Daddy always knows what is best for his baby girl.
  • Accept all punishments with love.
  • Don’t tie your own shoes or put on your own seatbelt when you’re with Daddy. So, allow him to do it.
  • No drinking or smoking is allowed.
  • There will be no cursing or arguing with your Daddy.
  • Sit only in the backseat of the car.
  • No showers, only bubble baths
  • Suck on your pacifier anytime you use a computer or watch television.
  • Wear diapers to bed.
  • You must be courteous and polite.
  • Bedtime is 10:00 p.m. If Daddy orders you to go to bed earlier, you must comply.
  • A good baby girl always says ‘Thank you and ‘Please.’
  • When crossing the street, hold Daddy’s hand.
  • If you’re upset over something, talk to Daddy about it.
  • You must request to touch your princess parts and also ask to cum.
  • Take your teddy bear to bed with you.
  • Princess is not going to be a brat. (Of course, she will!)

What is “Little space”?

Little space is a word used to describe an age- regressor’s headspace or “state of mind” that makes them feel more child-like, or “little.” It’s the “feeling” created by a submissive when playing and exploring their “little” side.

Often, the dominant caregiver assists the little in reaching this state of mind. Little space helps the age regressor in reverting from their normal adult lifestyle of worries and pressures to a more joyful, problem-free, and child-like state of being! As a result, age play is incredibly soothing and caring, especially for littles who have a lot of everyday worries or who have high-demanding professions or jobs.

DDLG activities

These are some things you can perform together regularly or as a reward system (or both!). Here are some recommendations for age-appropriate activities that will assist a sub in entering little space more efficiently:

  • Bake some cookies together.
  • Take a bubbly bath.
  • Coloring.
  • Work on an activity book.
  • Make a pigtail and brush your hair.
  • Play games together.
  • Try DIY or craftwork together.
  • Watch cartoons.
  • Playing with wax.
  • Draw all-around using chalk.
  • Pet play.
  • Read a bedtime story.
  • Take little with you on a shopping trip.
  • Play with dolls and stuffed animals.
  • Make amusing videos.
  • Swimming together.

You’re only limited by your imagination when it comes to enjoyable activities in a DD/LG relationship! There are no hard-and-fast “rules” on what you can and cannot do – whatever helps the “little” go into “little space,” and age regression is all that matters! Play on as long as you’re not harming anyone or forcing anyone to your kink in obvious ways!

DDLG rewards and punishments

Daddy decides on all rewards and punishments. He might spoil his little with new toys, books, a new outfit, a dinner date, or a vacation to a fun location.

For punishments, he could spank his little, have her write-in lines, or even control her orgasms (if sex is something they do). Many people who participate in age play enjoy punishment and humiliation. Above all, punishment causes DDLG to become kinkier.

Aftercare for DDLG

Aftercare is the BDSM phrase for providing emotional and physical support to your partner after the play is ended. The goal of aftercare is to assist you and your partner in recovering from an intense BDSM play or sex session.

If your DDLG play is enjoyable or soothing, you may not perceive the need for aftercare; yet, I strongly advise you to explore DDLG aftercare. Aftercare is beneficial since it assists you in reintegrating into the real world. It is a unique ritual for concluding the play and can make the entire experience far more gratifying. It’s best to do something mature that will ease you back into real life, such as drinking a cup of tea, changing into an adult dress, and discussing. Cuddling is a common technique to conclude aftercare.

Finally, it is always vital to have a DDLG debrief, which is a time to address what you liked, didn’t like, and how you can strengthen your play so that your next time is even better and more fun. Debriefing is essential if you attempt anything new, such as intense punishment, so you know if it’s something you both want to pursue further.

Why do we practice Voodoo?

The most straightforward approach to spice up your sex life is incorporating age play into your relationship. Amazingly, delving deeper into the worlds of sexual play fosters closeness and connection. 

Secondly, people yearn for variety. We are always looking for fresh ways to spice up our sex lives. If you do the same things over and over again, you’re merely setting yourself up for boredom. Every day of the week. When a relationship lacks variety, desire fades, and people may seek their wants outside of the relationship or settle for porn. Kinks allow you to shut down your intellect, feel more humiliated, and enjoy greater pleasure. Pain and pleasure are awe-inspiringly magical.

Thirdly, people may practice DD/LG because it provides comfort and care. I can’t emphasize the bodily sense of comfort, protection, and pleasure with age play. It is worthy to note that the pleasure obtained from comfort and care can be an aim in itself or be included in sexual encounters. Daddies or caregivers can draw out deep emotion during play on the foundation of trust. Littles can relinquish control, but they believe they require severe care work and emotional labor from their partners in exchange.

Furthermore, it feels incredible to surrender and have someone else worry about you, take care of your mouth and body, make all of your decisions, and do all of your thinking for you. How lovely it is to be pampered by kind hands, relaxing sounds, undivided attention, and good intentions!

Read Senior BDSM You’re Never Too Old to Play

How can I get started with DDLG?

You may ask some questions to obtain a deeper understanding of how you feel about your choices. A thorough discussion of the subject might assist you in grasping your expectations as well as the protocol. These are some excellent initial questions to ask (mainly to Littles)

  • What picture do you have of your perfect Daddy Dom?
  • Do you want to go all in on the play, or do you prefer to play out aspects of it, such as sucking on a pacifier or wearing age-play clothing?
  • Do you wish to combine romance and sex?
  • Will you surrender to your Daddy Dom?
  • Will you behave yourself or become a brat?
  • Do you want to play in front of people?
  • Is there a setting that causes you to enter Little Space?

Make a list of the names you’ll be utilizing. For example, Daddy Dom should be addressed as “Daddy, Papi, master, Sir, and so on.” On the other hand, Little girl would be addressed as “Princess, Bunny, Cutie, Kitty, Baby Girl, Angel, and so on.” Establish some basic guidelines. Discuss and organize some activities you’ll undertake together. It is also critical to establish your incentives and penalties.

The best DDLG communities and forums

Here are some suggestions if you’re looking for littles or Daddies to play with. Reddit is home to the best online community. There are several DDLG Facebook groups, but FB steadily disables them since they do not accept sexual content.

DDLG confess subreddit: This is a forum for Daddys and littles to rant and offer advice on any and all issues. It has more than 7.1k membership. It’s the best community, in my opinion, if you want to have a discussion and get your questions answered.

DDLG subreddit: With over 15.5k users, this 18+ subreddit is dedicated to DD/LG and BDSM communities folks. Caregivers, littles, switches, and anyone else interested are welcome to share photos and videos, initiate conversations, and make some new friends!

Age playing subreddit: A community dedicated to age play/roleplaying, dubbed DD/LG: Daddy Dom, Little Girl or Big Brother, Little Sister, and so on, with over 20.8k membership.

Little space subreddit: A forum for littles, middles, caretakers, and anybody interested in the dynamics and lifestyles of CGL, DDLG, or ABDL. It has 30.6k membership and is the largest DDLG group on the internet (excluding BDSM…).

DDLG Forum: With over 44k membership, the largest non-Reddit DDLG community. The sections that are the most active are:

Little Space – a secure environment in which all littles can communicate and interact.
Personals – a place to look for your perfect someone if you don’t already have one.
DDLG discussion – a forum for discussing DDLG and similar topics.

FetLife: It’s also a fantastic place to look for like-minded people.

DateCGl

In addition to these communities and forums, the following sites offer real-time chat rooms:

These are fantastic communities where you can chat with like-minded people, ask questions, and get some excellent quotes, clothing ideas, and so on.

How common is DDLG?

When you first learn about DDLG, you may have never heard of it before. However, these partnerships are more common than most of us realize, and as time passes, more and more people are learning to explore and enjoy these distinct settings. DDLG is popular among many individuals! It’s not unexpected given the activities that many of us like performing in our leisure time. Many of us collect plush animals, play video games, and even love watching children’s cartoons and movies. These items provide us with a window into our childhood, something we often lose as we get older.

The primary distinction is that DDLG is significantly more dynamic and intense. It’s also more sociable since instead of keeping our youthful delights to ourselves, we share them with a partner who gets to enjoy them as our parents once did. Even if it is becoming more prevalent, some people find it difficult to accept the idea of acting like a child or parent. Many DDLG couples are shunned by others, including their friends and family. This roleplay is frequently held behind closed doors and not discussed in public. This gives the impression that it’s not very prevalent and that few people do it.

Power dynamics in DDLG relationship


Daddy Dom is the dominant one in most DDLG relationships, while the little girl is the submissive one. On the other hand, age-play is not gender-specific, and it can be played between a mummy and a little boy, or between people of the same sex, with a caretaker and a little.
Incest, pedophilia, or sex with minors are not included in DDLG, and sex is not necessary. Every relationship is unique, ranging from vanilla to extreme.

Does DD/LG have to be sexual?

Most people wonder if the DD/LG partner must be sexual in a specific way. It may seem strange to ask, given that nearly all BDSM relationships are sexual in nature. This is because those relationships seem to garner more public attention, so you’ll hear a lot more about them. Numerous couples enjoy several caring relationships without being sexually involved or simply keeping their sex lives apart from their DD/LG lives. It’s pretty much up to you as long as there are two consenting adults.

Read Marijuana Sex: The Best Marijuana Strains For Great Sexual Experience

Related DDLG acronyms and definitions you should know.

ABDL: Adult Baby / Diaper Lover. The dynamic is the same as DDLG, except ABDL play always begins when the diaper is on.

CGL stands for Caregiver/Little. It is also the same thing as DDLG. Therefore, a CG can be anyone who takes on a dominant role. Dominatrix or Daddy Dom (mommy domme).

Little Space: refers to the mindset that Little enters when she feels and behaves younger than she is. It could include both Daddy Dom and Little Girl or simply be the Little. “Entering the little place” entails sliding into a childish attitude.

Daddy Dom: Daddy Dom is a word we use in both the BDSM and DDLG communities. Daddy Dom is the dominant figure in the Little girl’s life. Dom dominates as well as disciplines the Little.

Little: Little is the person who regresses in age and takes on the role of a child.

D&S: D&S stands for Dominant and Submissive. These are the most often used terms in the BDSM world. The dominant partner is generally referred to as “Dom,” while the submissive is usually “Sub.”

Switch: A switch is a term that describes someone who enjoys changing positions and derives pleasure from being a part of both roles. A switch might be dominant at times and submissive at others.

How do I incorporate age play into my life as a newbie?


There will be some recommendations for making age play with Daddy Dom and tiny girl more enjoyable. The most effective strategy to incorporate age play is to:

Do some research.

Before bringing up DDLG with a partner, spend some time researching it yourself. You should conduct some study, visit forums and blogs, view kinky ethical porn, take quizzes, read DDLG erotica, and employ fantasy while masturbating.

Dare to have a conversation with your partner.

Discuss your new fantasies with your lover. First, explain how your interest in this desire does not indicate your disinterest in your existing sexual relationship. You’d like to explore this with them to expand and strengthen your sexual and love relationship. It is critical to explain that this would be an excellent complement to an already pleasurable sexual life. Help them realize the unique charms and intrigue you have for DDLG, which you should have gleaned from your solo play.

Set the rules, rewards, and punishments.

If you and your partner are on the same path about DDLG, the next step is to establish ground rules. You must discuss it with your partner. Littles appreciate specific outlines and boundaries. As a result, make sure you give this stage the attention it deserves.

Choose a name.

There are many interesting names to use in DDLG play, and you don’t have to limit yourself to Daddy and little. Have some fun coming up with ones that will genuinely get your loins tingling.

Begin playing.

The moment you’ve been waiting for has arrived: you can begin playing! In practice, DDLG has a wide range of outcomes. Investigate your particular turn-ons and determine what works best for you both. You might wish to use naughty language during sex, read fairytales, dress up all cute and little, use pacifiers, do some role play, and engage in a couple of spankings; the DDLG world is your playground. Have fun with it and spend time together experimenting and exploring your turn-ons.

Keep it safe.

As with any form of BDSM play, it’s essential to keep things risk-aware, safe, and joyfully consensual. Kink is built on the principles of safety, communication, responsibilities, and aftercare. Aftercare is especially crucial for littles; they require lots of love and petting after play, especially if it is intense and/or involves impact. Good aftercare equals joyful and stable littles.

Final take

Age play is a terrific way to combine infantile purity with naughty sexual exploration. Don’t heed to those who claim that age-playing is wrong. The DDLG way of life can also serve as the foundation for a good BDSM relationship, bringing even greater enjoyment to both Doms and Subs. It can be portrayed as a scenario or as a way of life 24 hours a day, seven days a week. It is entirely up to you and your partner how you go about it. The most crucial aspect is to have a good time.


If you want to explore your kinks, feel free to join our sex-positive kink community Foxtail and meet other kinksters who are open about their sexuality.
Do you identify as a Daddy Dom or a little girl? What are your thoughts on the DDLG rules and age play? Please leave a comment in the comments section.

Touch, Lick, Bite, and Blow: 35 Hottest (Secret) Erogenous Zones.

You are surrounded by sensitive spots that you’ve never considered exploring. An erogenous zone is any body area that increases sensitivity when stimulated to elicit sexual responses.

Everything you need to know about erogenous zones

When stimulated, the erogenous zone of the body transmits signals to the brain that translate as pleasurable sensations. The lips, nipples, breasts, neck, buttocks, inner thigh, and ear are the most common areas. Many people consider the genitals and surrounding areas to be an erogenous area. Some erogenous zones are more responsive to tickling or gentle touch, whereas others are highly sensitive to vibration or pressure. Stimulating these places can be very effective foreplays in this regard. Talking with your partner and trying out different combos might help discover mutual interests. Because a person’s preference shifts over time, the best stimulation differs from person to person. People should talk to their partners about what they want to do.

The erogenous zones of the female vaginal tract

The clitoris

One of the key sites associated with sexual pleasure is the clitoris. Communication is essential in clit exploration, as it is in other aspects of sex. Begin with a little touch around the clitoris. Keep an eye on how your partner reacts. If you both want to go deeper, go close to the clit directly, keeping a gentle touch with your mouth, lips, tongue, and fingers. If you both like to try direct stimulation, go ahead, but start slowly and softly.

The vaginal canal

The majority of the sensation comes from the first two inches of the vaginal opening. Therefore deeper may not always be ideal. To stimulate the vaginal canal, use your fingers, toys, or a penis. It can feel fantastic to start slowly and gradually increase the speed. Don’t forget to use a generous amount of lubrication.

Read 5 Best Ways to Have Stimulating Foreplay With Sex Toys.

The cervix

The cervix is also referred to as the C-spot. To pleasure the cervix, you’ll have to use a sex toy or a penis to penetrate the vaginal, as fingers normally can’t reach. Massage a sex toy or penis against the cervical aperture until you start to experience sensations of ecstasy.

The anterior vaginal wall

This soft inside frontal wall of your vagina can be aroused by light contact or postures that allow insertable objects, such as sex toys, to hit its wall. Insert two fingers in your partners vaginal with your palm facing up. Stimulate their clitoris and labia while pushing on their vaginal wall. Anticipate a few sparkles if you pay close attention.

The pubic mound

Because of the sensitive nerve endings and glands that generate pheromones, the pubic mound is linked to your genitals and sexual reaction. The fleshy mound directly above the clitoris is densely packed with nerve endings attached to the genitals. You can stimulate the labia and clitoris by massaging the area in an up and down motion. If your spouse is game, move on to kissing the area, then licking your way down with the tip of your tongue. As stimuli are activated, the area above the pubic bone can become electric.

The labia minora

Another name for the labia minora is the viganal lips. Erectile tissues and skin are found in the inner lips. They absorb blood and become heated, swelling, and sensitive to touch when stimulated. These areas are extremely sensitive, even for a high-sensitive location. Gently stroking or tracing your finger across your lips might assist in building arousal and moisture. “Place your fingers inside” in a peace sign and with loads of lubrication and move them up and down on the inside of the outer lips and around the inner lips,” explains Anne Louise, a “certified sex educator and CEO of TOCA, to target the inner lip in particular. Please do not stimulate if there is insufficient lubrication (natural or otherwise).

The breasts

According to Segar, massaging, stroking, kissing, and licking the breasts effectively stimulate the nipples by activating the same part of the brain as the sexual organs. ‘Beginning with the brest rather than the nipple can assist create arousal by drawing out the stimulation,’ she explains.

G-spot

The G-spot, located on the vaginal front wall, is thought to be a small bundle of nerve endings that can feel particularly pleasurable when stimulated. It’s sometimes described as a spongy, walnut-sized bump. 

Your best bet is to use a curved dildo or G-spot vibrator. Use a lot of lube. Make an upward curve with your finger or toy toward your navel and utilize a come-hither motion. Experiment with various pressures and feelings.

If you need something gentler, I recommend looking for a toy composed of soft silicone rather than firm glass. Try a rabbit vibrator, which stimulates both your clitoris and your G-spot at the same time. This can make it a lot more enjoyable.

U-spot

The urethra, where your pee comes out, is named after the U-spot. It is situated in a highly sensitive or orgasmic tissue region placed above and around the urethral opening. Because the tissue in this area is sensitive, a light touch and gentle stimulation are essential for eliciting an orgasmic reaction. Rubbing too hard may produce discomfort, which no one wants!

What are the genital erogenous zones in a man?

The glans

The glans, commonly known as the head or tip of the penis, are the most sensitive area of the penis. ‘Using lubricant, move your fingers and thumb along the head, spreading your hand open as you go, until your palm contacts the head,’ explains Segar. Bring them back up slowly and repeat. Begin with gentle pressure and gradually increase as desired.

The Penis

Well, of course. Rather than focusing solely on the tip of the penis, consider the full shaft. Closely work your palm around the base of the penis and massage softly while pleasuring your partner to increase blood flow and sensation. Do you want to make your partner go crazy? Consider a slow blow job.

The Testicles and scrotum

This is one of the most delicate parts of the body, therefore approach with caution. “Begin with soft cupping and light strokes, or kiss and lick them,” Segar advises. You can try building pressure and stimulation by yanking or squeezing the scrotum. Although this is not for everyone.

Prostate

The prostate, which is located inside the anus, can provide a great deal of pleasure. The prostate is also known as the P-spot. “To relax the muscles, lightly trace a finger around the anal hole with a lot of lubrication,” adds Segar. When you’re ready, insert a finger and gradually move it two inches upwards, using a come hither seductive motion. If you’re having trouble reaching the P-spot with your fingers, try using sex toys like anal beads or a butt plug. It might be an entertaining addition if your toy has a flared base.

Read Intro to Prostate Massage Health Benefits and Pleasure.

The foreskin

Unsurprisingly, the foreskin is densely filled with nerve endings. ‘Because the foreskin retracts when the penis is erect, moving it up and down the glans with a hand can be an immensely pleasurable experience,’ adds Segar. ‘There are toys that can stimulate the sensation of the foreskin while also giving improved pleasure.

Frenulum

This is the stretchy band of tissue on the base of the glans. Segar describes the little area as ‘very sensitive to touch.’ Running your thumb up and down the frenulum can be incredibly enjoyable, but be careful not to overstimulate.

Perineum

The perineum is the skin strip that separates the anus from the uterus. It is home to a nerve root, which communicates astonishing signals down there via a chain of other nerves. “It’s ideal for exploring,” says Daniel Saynt, founder” of NSFW, off-limits: “Lick it, slap it, bite it, or massage it depending on what your partner enjoys and desires.”

Other erogenous zones

The ears

Because of the large number of sensory receptors present, the ears can be extremely sensitive to touch. Tender kissing has the potential to set off sparks. It can be a pretty successful act when combined with touching the genitals. The sensation may possibly help you reach a climax or heighten your orgasm.

The stomach

Lower abdominal muscles are extremely common because they stimulate female sexual activity. One of the g-spots will be more aroused when one finger touches the right button. Arousing that area with the hands or the lips promotes flow to the other major erogenous zone. You can also experiment with temperature by placing a cold or warm towel on the stomach. The area above the pelvis can be a significant tease for temperature play.

The lips

Simply caressing your lips causes a joyful flood of emotions to run through your body. Your lips contain a slew of nerve endings beneath the skin’s surface. Try kissing while paying close attention to the feelings on your lips. It will astound you how fantastic it feels.

The anus

The anus contains many sensitive nerve endings, making the area heated. What feels wonderful to one person may not be fantastic to another, so you must experiment to determine what works best for you. Ensure to use a generous amount of lube whenever you try to penetrate the anus.

The fingers

Even a light touch can elicit a surge of sensations. Make your partner kiss you gently, making small circles across your finger with their tongue. Allow your partner to suck your finger and then massage it with their tongue. This can elicit a wide range of power-play dynamics, some of which can be explosive.

The crease of the thigh

The crease of the thigh is an excellent location to begin practicing oral sex. It’s not only about getting a terrific blow job when it comes to physical sensations for men. The same is true for women; regardless of gender, the crease where the thigh joins the chest is a hot location to target in intercourse. According to McGowan, there are areas around the testicles and penis that males can explore during oral sex to increase excitement and desire.

The armpits

Your armpit is very sensitive. It tickles because of its sensitivity to ticklish. Try brushing your partner’s underarms with your fingers. First, softtly move your fingers up and down before transitioning to a continuous round motion, keeping an open mind on what prompts the perfect response. It’s a lot of fun, but it’s also a lot of seduction. When it turns on the receiving partner, it’s always a surprise.

The soles of your feet

Of course, nerve endings can be found in your foot. You should prioritize gentle strokes over quick and tickly strokes. Giving your partner a foot massage can also assist your partner in relaxing in various ways. Consider it an orgasm massage that eliminates anxiety and aids in attaining sexual ecstasy.

The nape of your neck

The nerve endings in the neck and nape are so dense that even a soft touch will send you into a frenzy. While you kiss your partner, gently trace your fingertips around their neck. Also, a gentle kiss on the nape of the neck can send a thrilling sensation throughout the body.

Between the toes

Rami Najjar believes that any place in the human body should be erogenous given the correct kind of contact. Begin with a smart foot massage that focuses on the sensitive skin around the toes. The skin between your toes is soft and sensitive, and it can be highly exciting. Begin by massaging your feet and toes to stimulate this sensitive area.

The scalp

If pulling your hair is your favorite, there is no damage to your head’s nerve endings when this occurs. If you have a propensity of pulling a hair out of your scalp, getting in touch with someone you like will restore your sweet sexiness. Let us not overlook the importance of good scalp massage. Your scalp, as an erogenous zone, has hundreds of nerve endings. A gentle massage can be sexually satisfying.

The inside of your ankle

When you touch the inside of the ankles lightly, it produces a sensation. A sensual component may stimulate arousal when you kiss and suck the ankle. According to Najjar, the region, like the wrist, is one of the most erogenous in the world.

The butt cheeks

People generally find it fascinating to play the groin/butt, spank/massage or receive additional attention. According to Najjar, the area where the buttock meets the thigh can be an erogenous area worth testing. According to Najjar, if you try anal play and decide it’s not for you, that doesn’t imply the butt is off-limits.

The inner thighs

Keep an eye on your inner thighs. The skin is incredibly sensitive and has a dense network of neurons. If you want to step up your game, have your partner trace an ice cube up and down your legs and experience the feelings. You can also have your partner give you a soft bite and pinch inside your thigh for more pleasure. 

The crook of your arm

The internal region of your arm’s crook is where the humerus meets with the radius and ulna. Because the skin is thin, the sensation is powerful. Begin by softly warming your fingers between your wrist and elbow. If the tickle is too strong, you can rub that place to get the most powerful sensation.

The nipples and areolas

The nipples and the skin around the nipples are extremely sensitive area on the body that is strongly linked to genital feelings. Many people’s nipple sensitivity varies greatly—some are too delicate to appreciate sensations, while others love a rough play like biting and nipple clamps.

The Wrist

The sensitive skin of the inside wrist is a little erogenous zone with the potential for great pleasure. A little touch along your partner’s wrist is an excellent approach to start foreplay.

How do I stimulate erogenous zones?

Please read the following ideas to understand how to stimulate erogenous zones around the bedroom.

Communicate with your partner.

Because everybody has erogenous zones, the level of sensation each individual experiences when these areas are stimulated obviously varies. Because of these varying sensitivity levels, it is impossible to know whether someone will react well to stimulation in a specific location. The ideal method to enjoy erogenous zones while encouraging overall sexual health and wellbeing is to communicate with your partner to find out what they prefer or if you’re both fine with it. Explore in a safe place to find out what you both like.

Experiment with various feelings.

To stimulate erogenous zones, you can use your hands and mouth and lube and sex toys such as a tickle feather, a vibrator, or other toys. You can also experiment with temperature, such as tracing an ice cube over your partner’s belly or sipping hot tea and then tracing your tongue over the nape of your partner’s neck. Because your partner’s many erogenous zones will react differently to stimulus, explore what works best for them.

Go slowly

Gentle, tantalizing foreplay may be incredibly satisfying for both you and your partner since it creates expectation and extends pleasure. Go slowly and take your time with each part of the body as you attempt to arouse your partner, building up the ecstasy as you enjoy the moment.

Explore your body during masturbation

Erogenous zones may also help you become more in tune with your own body while masturbating alone. During solo play, explore various areas of your body to uncover sensitive spots. It’s typically a fantastic approach to attain greater full-body orgasm.

Erogenous zones by zodiac signs

Whether you’re looking for ways to please your lover or make yourself feel better, each zodiac sign has at least one body component to concentrate on. And, while no zodiac recommendation will be a one-size-fits-all solution, it may be enjoyable to do some exploring when you’re looking for it.

So, based on your zodiac sign, this is your erogenous zone.

Aries: the head

Because Aries rules the head, they enjoy having their hair rubbed and played with. Soft hair play sends shivers down their spine, waking their senses and putting them in a good mood. In the rush of passion, massaging their head is the route to their heart, and they might be up for a little hair-pulling.

Taurus: the neck and throat.

Tauruses enjoy having their neck kissed and licked, possibly even bitten or choked If they’re a little kinky! Taurus will go wild for tender kisses on the nape of the neck.

Gemini: the lungs, shoulders, arms, and hands.

Gemini’s hands are super sensitive. Taking them in your mouth and sucking them during foreplay is sure to elicit bliss in a normal Gemini. A feather tickling up the arms can send Gemini into a romantic frenzy.

Cancers: the chest, breasts, and stomach

Cancers, indeed, are the “breast” sign! Even the most grumpy Cancer will be delighted by gentle kissing and mild touches to the chest and breast. This erogenous zone is especially enjoyable because Cancers can be aroused by even the most slight attention to their boobs, making the pleasure of foreplay even more enticing.

Leo: the heart and the upper back

A back massage, especially to the spine, can make warm sensations spread over their body, causing their hearts to race. Trailing a tickle feather up their back will set them off on a wild goose chase. 

Virgo: the torso, the stomach, and the waistline

Even though Virgos are normally reserved, they release their tensions if their stomach is aroused. Run an ice cube over their stomach and watch them scream with glee! For Virgos, the torso is the hidden erogenous zone. Even the most placid Virgos get stimulated when they get kisses and mild nibbling up and down their torsos, stomachs, and waistlines.

Libra: the butt and anus

Libras are often attracted by butt. Libras enjoy the buttocks since they are dominated by the backside. Libras enjoy having their backside cheeks tenderly massaged or lightly tapped with a love tap.

Scorpio: the entire body

Light stroking and caressing all over the body can elicit great pleasure in Scorpio. Passionate by nature, their erogenous zone encompasses the entire body.

Sagittarius: the hips and thighs

Sensual massages to the thighs, hips and upper legs excite a Sagittarius because touch activates their most potent sexual areas. They enjoy having their hips and thighs played with during pre-intercourse and during intercourse.

Capricorn: the knees and legs

Capricorn craves sensuous massages. A little leg motion, even if it’s only a gentle massage to the thigh, can drive a Capricorn insane. Capricorns adore the power of touch to bond with others. Pay specific attention to the area behind their knees, particularly sensitive. If you have a Capricorn mate, don’t keep them on all fours for long periods.

Aquarius: the calves, shins, and ankles

Gentle nipping or kissing on the ankles will pique Aquarius’ interest, especially during foreplay. During foreplay massage and touch an Aquarius’ calves. The results will amaze you!

Pisces: the feet

Touches to the feet put Pisces in a good mood. Pisces will squeal quickly with happiness and pleasure after a wonderful foot massage, as they will feel relaxed, comfortable and sexually vigorous. Having a Pisces companion may provide an opportunity to experiment with foot play.

Read The Best Sex Toys For Every Zodiac.

Conclusion

These unexpected erogenous zones will help spice up your sex life. It’s up to you to discover your erogenous zones, although occasionally, people’s interests have more in common than you’d think. Everyone reacts differently to stimulation in various areas, and factors such as timing, attitude, partner choice, and type of stimulation can all influence your preference. You can stimulate these erogenous zones on your own body to experience new sensations of ecstasy, or you can exploit them with your spouse to experience something different in the bedroom.

Looking to spice up your sex life? Read more intriguing articles on our kinky BDSM blog, Pleasure Uncensored.

A Kinkster’s Guide to Online Dating

Woman in corset and boots standing in front of a clock

Are you looking for a kinky soulmate? Worried you may never find them and die alone? While there is someone for everyone, this Kinkster Guide to Online Dating will help you whip the odds in your favor.

Finding a companion in the kink world can seem impossible. You want to find a good partner, you also want to find someone who can suit your specific kink. It can be difficult to determine which road to choose because much of the information available focuses on vanilla relationships.

We all have fantasies or fetishes that we want to see become a reality or played out. However, looking for a compatible partner who shares your sexual preferences or is prepared to fulfill your kinky needs can feel like an endless hunt, especially if you’re waiting on a barstool hoping they’ll saunter in, chat you up, and drag you off to bed!

When it comes to meeting a kinky mate, niche dating sites are the way to go. You have the luxury of being at home and exploring and speaking with people until you find someone you want to meet in person.

Best Use of Online Dating

You can remain anonymous about your quirks and desires until you feel at ease. When you tell them you want to suck their toes on a first date or ask if they want to spank you in your pet play outfit, not everyone takes it well. They will already be aware of some of your flaws before you meet.

There are niche dating services where you might find a compatible kinky mate. If you have a particular fetish, there is almost certainly a dating service that caters to it.

You can let it all hang out with those who share your interests. On a site that concentrates on BDSM and kink, you don’t have to worry about being judged. The more specific you are in your dating profile about what you’re looking for, the faster you’ll find it.

Chatting online might help you develop a community and connect with other kinksters. Like any other kind of internet dating, not everyone you meet will become your next great lover; some will become friends, while others may connect you to events and kink-related clubs.

Being Successful on Dating Sites

Man holding whip hugging woman

You’ve picked and joined a site for your specific interest, whether it’s a threesome or a latex obsession. These pointers can assist you in making the most of your online dating experience.

Create a Kink Killin’ profile – Make a statement by building the best profile you can. Fill out all fields, including images, even if they obscure your face, and make sure to place your kink up and center to attract the correct possible partners.

Be active and take advantage of all services – The finest sites provide everything from video introductions and streaming video chat to member blogs. Participate in user groups for certain fetishes and kinks, make your own video, browse member content, and enjoy the community element. The more you participate, the more opportunities you will encounter and the more noticeable you will become to other members.

Be open to what you could discover – Remember that everyone you meet has their own ideas. This allows you to find extraordinary situations and connections that you may not have considered before.

When you’re ready, you can disclose your kink. You are not required to wait until the sixth. Date to enhance your fantasies. Toss everything out there and see what sticks. Do this even before you meet, because the whole goal of online dating is to save time.

Do’s and Don’ts on the First Date

It should not be considered taboo to discuss kink and sex with a new potential partner. Discussing kink and sex too early in the game, on the other hand, may give your date the idea that you are just interested in them for sex.

If you’re interested in your date’s kinks, the simplest way to start the conversation is to ask, “How did you get into kink?” It’s astonishing what people will discuss if you ask the appropriate question and listen.

Drop the conversation if your date gives a brief response and does not bring it up again. First dates are already stressful; don’t add to the stress by obsessing over “the talk.”

Act Like a Grownup – You must act like a mature adult: grownups do not arrive late, are not intoxicated, and do not make unpleasant remarks. Not acting your age is the quickest way to get yourself a No Second Date.

You are not required to prove anything – Act self-assured and certain. When your date inquires about your life, respond in a positive and self-assured manner. You should be asking inquiries that will reveal your date’s interests. And it’s not simply their naughty interests!

Avoid appearing needy and weird – You may believe that referring to someone as a slave, Master, or Mistress is flattering. You would be incorrect. A first date’s objective is to gauge the chemistry between you and a possible partner and assess whether there is enough compatibility to meet for a second date.

Two women biting apple with a snake on it

Keep your hands to yourself (until invited) – If you’ve been in the kink world for more than a day, you’re aware that consent is a big deal. Advances must be managed properly in kinky dating so that your date does not feel like you are overstepping bounds. It also entails not pushing when your date says no.

Maintain a kind and welcome physical touch. Hold your date’s hand across the table. When strolling through a crowd, take their hand in yours. You can increase the touch after it feels normal and your date displays a willingness to move things forward.

Dress for success, but not overly so – You want to look your best because a first date is already stressful. Don’t wear fetish attire to a vanilla restaurant. Even if your date is openly kinky, they will not appreciate you causing a commotion in a restaurant.

Did You Hit It Off

First dates, no matter what will always be awkward. The good news is that if you follow the advice above, the uneasiness will fade as the date progresses.

Tell them whether you had a wonderful time on your date and would like to go out again! Not only will they value your candor, but your response will encourage them to do the same for you.

If you receive a positive reaction, such as “I had a good time” or “It was enjoyable,” that’s fantastic! If, on the other hand, your date does not respond to your declaration that you enjoyed the date, it is a good indication that they are not interested. It stinks, but it saves you from wondering later.

On the other hand, if something about your date didn’t feel right, pay attention to your inner self. Consider why you are dissatisfied. It’s fine if you weren’t into your date. If you believe you made a mistake, take some time to reflect on it. Before you go on your next date, figure out what didn’t work.

Now that you have some ideas to find the perfect kinky partner in the online dating world, start working on that profile and put yourself out there. Your kinkmate is out there looking for you, go out and find them!

Are you looking for a kinkster or searching for your Kinkmate? Check out foxtail and see if there’s someone there that fits your kink!

Consent Consciousness: Why Consent is Key in BDSM

Deep trust is a fundamental need to succeed in all types of relationships. This is also true for BDSM. Consent is important in establishing trust and security between BDSM couples.

Consent grows when practicing healthy communication and upholding your partner’s boundaries. This way, each one feels secure and heard in the relationship.

The BDSM community prides itself on its ability to uphold consent consciousness. Before entering the lifestyle, one must completely understand the intricacies of consent – from comfort levels, boundaries to fears.

A BDSM relationship is a consensual one.

Long-term BDSM couples have always stated that entering the lifestyle takes effort and careful planning. This is because you have to painstakingly discuss which sadomasochistic act each one is “game” in trying, which ones are negotiables, and which ones are hard “passes.”


Even using toys have to be talked about at length. For instance, if partners use a whip, then each one must fully understand the implications of using this toy. Couples must be 100% honest to their partners (and themselves!) if they are open to engaging in said acts or if one is pressured to give in to the pleasures of the other.

Consent in BDSM has several main components. Let’s briefly discuss each one.

Pre-play Discussions

This is the important discussion between BDSM practitioners that takes place before the event. Partners discuss what activities they are open to doing and what are off-limits. These discussions also eliminate anxiety and embarrassment about sex. In essence, pre-play discussions is the first step in establishing consent.

Safe Words

Safe words act to immediately stop the BDSM play when it oversteps the boundaries of BDSM partners. Consent in BDSM means safe words are pre-planned since words like “stop” or “no” may be construed as part of the roleplay.


Safe words created must be those that are unlikely to be brought up in BDSM sexual encounters. This way, practitioners can tell that one is withdrawing their consent. One common example of safe words is the use of “red,” “green,” and “yellow” depicting traffic light signals.

Aftercare

Aftercare, in the context of consent in BDSM, is the cool-down period after each sadomasochistic activity. Additionally, this serves as a good venue to discuss the proceedings of the recently ended BDSM play.


It’s an opportunity to talk about things that made you and your partner feel good and which acts made them scared and uncomfortable. This way, all conflicts and negative feelings that may arise from the event can be resolved immediately.


In the BDSM consent perspective, it’s another step towards reinforcing your and your partner’s boundaries. Aftercare also creates a space for self-reflection and examination, for instance, if your boundaries have widened its scope or if a previously enjoyed activity becomes uncomfortable.

Giving consent is not as simple as saying “yes.” Saying “yes” does not also mean you agree to all terms of the BDSM event.


Blanket consent is a different approach to consent in the BDSM lifestyle. Instead of saying yes to each sexual act, the method changes to using the safe word to stop if things get too crazy.


Take, for instance; the agreed BDSM event is bondage and teasing. If your partner starts to stray away from what was agreed on, you can immediately use your safe word to say no firmly. This is a good practice of blanket consent.

Ultimately, it is like saying, “From this point onwards, I consent to every BDSM act planned on unless I use my safe word to stop it.”

This article can safely conclude that BDSM is not just “whips and chains,” as described by the hit Rihanna song. It consists of lengthy discussions, meticulous planning, trust, and respect.

BDSM is both giving up control and being in control over your partner. Such dynamics require deep trust and strong respect for the power of consent. Perhaps this dynamic is why the idea of BDSM makes it even more erotic and dangerous.

A piece of advice: before jumping headfirst into the BDSM lifestyle, one must learn about BDSM as a whole and not just what’s portrayed in popular media. (Looking at you, Fifty Shades!) The Foxtail App Blog has a number of informative but fun articles on BDSM that will help you soak up some much-needed knowledge. Get comfy and read up!

Checking In: Ongoing Consent and Ways to Ask for It

Can I touch you? 

This is only one of the most underrated ways to ask for Consent when you’re feeling a little bit of a vibe from this person you’re seeing. 

Someone’s finger touching a man’s face

You may think that this woke society has the art of checking in pinned down, but you’ve never been so wrong in your whole life. Granted that Consent has been thrust in the forefront of the conversation, it’s still miles away from being commonplace, which sadly says a lot about our evolution as a race. 

Consent isn’t just a one-time thing, though. It’s an ongoing process that caters to different levels of intimacy. A person might be into some hand-holding with you, but that doesn’t mean that they’d be into kissing you.

Consent, by definition, is permission for something to happen or agreement to do something. Simple, right? Yet, some people still struggle with the notion that it can easily be taken away just as it’s easily given.

ALL 👏 THE 👏 DAMN 👏 TIME.

There are no ifs or buts in this matter. You better ask for permission before you get up on anyone’s business. It’s not just in sex but in all aspects of life. It’s a sign of respect to others and yourself that you’re willing to go through the trouble – and the risk of killing the mood – to ask for Consent. And it doesn’t take much of you to have the courtesy to do so.

No Means No & Yes Means No

Consent and Sex come hand-in-hand. You can’t have Sex without Consent: that’s rape! Many skirt around this topic because it’s uncomfortable, but we need to educate people that you should always consider the feelings of others. No means No, and Yes (sometimes) also means No

Asking for Consent? Answers come in No or Yes.

Does this mean that you’ll stop having Sex altogether because Yes, apparently, means No as well? Of course not! We’re establishing the fact that when you ask for Consent, you should always make sure that it is freely given and without force

There will be times when you’ll be forced to say Yes even if you aren’t fully into it (DANGER ALERT). So it’s important to acknowledge and practice consciously checking in with your partner/s as an equally conscious participant in any sexual activity.

Pleasure from Permission

Besides, isn’t it more pleasurable to have relations when Consent is given?

When you check in with your partner/s before, during, and after Sex, it gives you a heightened feeling of trust and confidence in yourself – a pleasurable kind of validation that someone else liked what you did to them. Someone liked your touches enough that they allowed you into their body and enjoyed it.

There is pleasure from permission – remember that.

Checking In: A Questioning Art

But how do you check in without seeming like a mood-killer? Interrupting mid-kiss just to ask if you can touch a boob doesn’t sound hot, does it?

Checking in doesn’t have to kill the heat, though. It should amp it up! Asking for something from your partner/s, especially if it’s sexual in nature, should actually turn you on. They value your feelings and opinion, and that is why they are asking you if it’s go or no.

So, here are ways you can artfully ask for Consent and continuously do so during:

1. Just Ask

Explicitly ask for what you want. It doesn’t get any easier or more artful than that.

Couple in bed talking

Sometimes bluntness is hot, and you don’t have to overcomplicate everything in your head. Do you want to have Sex? Just ask. Do you want to try new kinks? Just ask. Do you want to try a new sex trick? Just Ask. You’d be surprised at the response when you ask for what you want. Do you want me to continue giving you head? Just freaking ask.

Of course, asking for sexual Consent should be because you have a current relationship or dynamic established; if there isn’t, then that’s just creepy.

2. Say What’s on Your Mind

Be upfront with what you’re thinking. Sometimes, all it takes is a few delicately chosen words from your pretty little mouth to ignite the flame. By saying what’s on your mind, you’re literally giving the other person the signal to kiss you, touch you, hug you, and a whole lot of other things. 

Here are some Subtle and Indirect Verbal Signals: 

  • Your lips look so soft. 
  • You smell really nice. 
  • You look sexy today. 

Here are some Explicit and Direct Verbal Signals: 

  • I want to kiss your sexy body. 
  • You look so hot in that shirt but even hotter when it’s off. 
  • I’m going to hit the shower, and I’d like you to join me. 

These are just some of the things you could say to your partner that would instantly turn them on and Consent to some steamy loving. 

3. Body Language

Woman leans into man (positive body language)

Verbal cues are no-brainers. Any person can ask or tell someone they like what they want to do in the sack. Now, reading body language is a different story. It takes time and patience to master this skill but considering that we’re talking about asking for Consent with a person you’re acquainted with and have that undeniable vibe, then this might be a little easier.

It’s like when you’re playing poker with your friends; you’re trying to find their tell. Think of this other person and their tells – it can be a pat on your arm, a hair flip, or a wry smile. Hey, when you know, you know. But the most obvious body language tells that you can spot are longing stares, lip biting, and being grabbed by the collar for a full-on make-out session.

Again, when you know, you know. Then again, if you suck at reading non-verbal cues – please refer to the previous entries before this one.

Let’s double back on Consent being ongoing – just because you’re half-naked and ready to seal the deal doesn’t mean one of you can’t back out.

Consent is reversible. It can be withdrawn at any moment a sexual participant chooses to do so. It can be mid-orgasm, and it’ll still be a valid withdrawal of permission. What everyone needs to get into their heads is that no one owes anyone their Consent. So if you’ve ever been turned down after they’ve undressed you, don’t go being an ass about it.

Your body is yours to give and take, just like everyone else. And if someone makes you uncomfortable, you don’t owe them politeness.

It’s important to remember that checking in exists to protect you from doing something you’ll regret or something distressing. Don’t ever feel ashamed for withdrawing Consent. Do it when you need to. Do it when you want to.

All You Have to do is Ask

Many people have a hard time verbalizing their desires and just assume that the other person is on the same page. And when you look at things with rose-colored glasses, signals get confusing from they want to be kissed to they’re just being polite and vice versa. 

It may not be easy to discern which is which, and that’s normal. But to make sure that you’re not going to step on any toes or boundaries – ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ASK. It’s the most effective way to rid yourself of inhibitions and fear of causing harm. 

Are you lusting for more Sex positive content? Read more on Foxxy articles here!

40 and Sexually Active – Taking Care of Your Sensuality

Age is just a number! Just because you’re 40 doesn’t mean you aren’t sexy anymore! 

So what if you’re pruning a bit? Your wrinkles are a testament to your experience and life! It’s a call for celebration! And what better way to celebrate life than to do the deed that gave you life?

Intertwined lovers’ feet

But the thing is, sex at 40 entails a lot of new considerations that weren’t present in your youth. Menopause/Andropause might be in your near future (if it hasn’t claimed you already); its tell-tale signs are now starting to show – like being dry down there, some mood swings, or being unable to hoist up the little general for a quickie.

Although it can get distressing to accept your body, don’t let that discourage you. The changes that you’re experiencing are all part of aging. Besides, modern technology has made it possible for people to relish in pleasures of the flesh (I’m looking at you Viagra and Lube) no matter how old you are.

Aged Like Fine Wine

The 40 and sexually active terrain is a reawakening of your sensuality. Think of it as the second coming of your virginity because, let’s admit it, at some point, your raging libido mellowed down either when you had kids, when your job demanded more overtime, or both. Your priorities just changed, and getting off seemed like the least of your worries. It doesn’t help your case when you’ve stopped doing your self-care rituals; the shedding of your public persona as you build a comfortable home tends to decrease your time and energy maintaining things that make you feel confident. It’s one of the main contributors to the lack of confidence that many men and women approaching 40 or are in their 40s experience. They feel desexualized and out of touch with their sensuality. 

A glass of red wine

By choosing comfort over wellness, they let themselves go. It’s not a crime to have a break from all the fuss. However, a lasting positive relationship between you and your body requires you to get reacquainted with your ability to love yourself in all shapes and forms. 

Sexy Has No Standard 

Wellness is attained through consistency. As we age, it becomes increasingly difficult to be consistent about things you can put off, like going to the salon, the dentist, getting waxed, and so on. While these may seem like trivial things, they are contributors to your self-perception. This is why Body Positivity is so hard to manifest. The media is purposive in feeding our brains with the ideal body type across ages. Unnecessary pressure is placed on everyone to look a certain way to be called sexy, think Jennifer Lopez and Channing Tatum. Although you’re not expected to be like any of them, it makes you feel futile for even trying to take care of yourself. 

Sexy has no standard, though. All bodies are valid, and we should accept them for how they are. You’re not getting anywhere moping around about your fading youth. Think of yourself as a deliciously aged fine wine. Sure, you’re getting up there, but that doesn’t lessen the quality and texture of your person. Sex appeals are subjective. If you feel sexy, it emanates! 

Sensual Sensibilities: Taking Care of Your Sensuality at 40

Taking care of your sensuality or desire to feel and express sexual pleasure takes effort. A sexually active 40-year-old isn’t a leprechaun. But the sexual routine of an old married couple may make you think that spice is off the table. Remember that sex should always be consensual and enjoyed by the participants. You shouldn’t feel obligated to have sex. You should want to have sex.

So how do you take care of your sensuality and become an invigorated sexual being at 40?

Here are a few things you should consider:

1. Self-Care Regimens

Saddle up and Spa! 

Self-care regimens such as skin care routines, mani-pedis, waxing, or shaving are trivial rituals, but these things help make you look and feel your best! 

Woman indulging in self-care

I know, I know, it can certainly be a hassle to maintain frivolous activities like these. Basic grooming can transform into a thing of the past when you’re too comfortable with your partner, but we all know it shouldn’t be. 

Self-care is important. You need to establish a good relationship with yourself to better connect and relate with another person. So don’t hesitate! Make an effort to hold a spa day at least once a month! It’s not a girly thing to use clay masks! Involve your partner in this monthly spa day! Do it for the team, guys! 

Another great self-care regimen would be exercise! Apart from it being good for your body, it’s also a mood enhancer like sex. Research shows that people who regularly exercise are happier than those who aren’t. It can promote good mental health and improve your self-perception – this allows you to feel better about yourself and, in turn, sexier. 

2. Indulge in Romance

Couple kissing

When was the last time you and your partner had a night out or adventure? If you can’t remember, then you’re in serious need of a romantic getaway. 

Indulging in romance is a great way to boost that libido! Your connectedness with your person is an undeniable feeling that can stir fire in your heart and loins. Book a nice restaurant for no apparent occasion! Have a moonlight walk! Do the things you used to do when you guys were dating. It’ll surely bring back fond memories!

Meanwhile, for all you single 40-year-olds, go out and meet people! Stop sulking in your nice apartment. There’s a whole world outside that couch of yours. Sign up on a dating app! Ask a friend to hook you up on a blind date. Casual relationships don’t end in your 20s. You can still play the game even if you’ve been benched for years. There are a lot of singletons out there ready to bang one out! You could be one of them, too!

3. Masturbate

Masturbation is the definition of sensuality. 

Hands and a vibrator

You can totes masturbate at 40 or older, and you don’t have to be shy about it! Owning your pleasure is an empowering feeling. It basically says that you don’t need anyone else to make you feel good.

Though you can also share this experience with a partner with mutual masturbation, it’s still a comforting idea that you can own this sex act by yourself. Many people find that possession of something which cannot be taken away boosts their confidence off the roof. 

So don’t wait up! Masturbate at will! 

4. Get Kinky

Sexy Secretary Role Play

If you’ve lived all of your sexually active years without getting kinky, now is the time to try. 

There is a whole community out here that is open to new sex-periences. Try out kinks and look for something that fits you and your personality. Buy toys that would make you giggle at the thought of using them. I guarantee that trying out different kinds of play would excite both you and your partner. 

To avoid being overwhelmed by the vast roster of toys and play, try buying something basic like toy hand-cuffs and blindfolds, try out cosplay sex, or role-playing. The choices are endless! 

Keep In Mind

As a sexually active 40-year-old, you shouldn’t beat yourself up for loving the deed at your age. You can even enjoy sex when you’re 80, and it’ll still be a valid form of self-expression and self-pleasure. You can even feel pleasure without sex, and it’ll still be valid.

Owning your sensuality and taking care of it is an ongoing process. Even at 40, your sexual nature is still evolving. You might not feel sexy all the time but you should aim to feel sexy most of the time.

Want to get a head start in your sensual journey? Read more sex positive and empowering articles on Foxtail! Or you could meet people from our community!

Kinky Camping Essentials

Couple in woods semi-nude

Do you long to have sex under the stars? Do you want to turn your morning tent into sex in a tent? Kinky camping is exactly what you’re looking for! I’ve got a list of essentials that will have you getting freaky in the forest in no time.

We’ll need a few basics before jumping into the outdoor down and dirty. While outdoor sex sounds sexy, there’s a few things out there that could turn your trip from the sex games to the crying game.

Packing the Bacics

Tents

This is where you don’t want to skimp. Size matters here; you want the room to move and keep your gear. This is not a pup tent trip. Bring a larger tent; you need room to play; there’s nothing sexy about rolling into the sides of a tent in the throes of passion.

The simplest way to achieve privacy and avoid bug bites in an outdoor location is to do the deed in your tent. Keeping most tents dry and condensation-free is a challenge. When getting jiggy in your tent, use the vents and windows to prevent condensation from forming when things start to get steamy.

Air Mattress

If you like a little bounce in your banging, get an air mattress! No one’s getting their rocks off if they’re humpin’ on rocks and twigs. Opt for a good quality mattress, and you’ll get more bang for your buck! After all that play, you’ll want to sleep, and that air mattress will feel like heaven.
Pack your pillows, blankets, and extra sheets cos you know it just might get messy…

Sleeping Bags

Get the two-person sleeping bag or zip two together! Who says foreplay can’t start in a sleeping bag? Start a fire and explore each other under the sleeping bag. Kinky camping is about intimacy and feeling good. Edging in the outdoors will feel so much more intense!

Let’s Pack the Toys

We’ll start with the must-haves and move on to the fun stuff.

Condoms – while sloppy sex can be a turn-on, it’s not in a tent. If you’re not using them for protection, use them to avoid a mess (may not be real sexy, but you’ll thank me later.

Lube – You never know what you’ll need it for…plus we are packing toys. Individual packets work great. Use what you need and keep the mess to a minimum.

Baby Wipes and towels – Bring lots of wipes; you’re aiming to be hot and slick, you’ll want to clean up. Throw some water and soap in there too. If there are no showers, you can always wash each other up (and start again!!) Be sure to pack some small garbage bags, so you don’t have to carry the condoms to the trash (Eeww!)

Bug Spray – Use natural bug spray so your body doesn’t taste like poison; nothing says “turn off” like a lick or two of bug spray!

Toys – Bring lots of your favorites…the quieter ones for sure. Kinky camping calls for innovation; leave the cuffs, grab some bungee cords, bandanas, a ball gag, and rope. Be creative and have fun with your choices; you want this to be a trip to remember!

Keeping the Romps Rash Free

Kissing couple on a stump

Before it gets too steamy and you require some fresh air or take the party outside, get familiar with the plants.

Brushing up against poison oak, stinging nettles, or poison ivy is bad enough, but we don’t want to think about it touching more sensitive areas – yikes!

Instead, spread out a down blanket or swing around in a hammock (hint, hint) and have a peaceful romp.

Free the Forest Fetish

Getting cozy in a tent together is already romantic, but being outside gives you a plethora of opportunities to turn each other on.

Couple kissing by a waterfall

Why not put silence to the test by allowing her to discipline you without making a sound? After all, you don’t want your neighbor to file a complaint against your kinky ass kicked out before you can put those bungee cords to the test. Can’t seem to keep your mouth shut? Allow her to wear a ball gag!

Skinny Dip in the Moonlight

Skinny dipping is the epitome of foreplay. Waterplay is sexy, but water play at night at risk of being caught…is sexier than hell!

The only sex on the beach anyone should have should be in a glass with an umbrella. Sand is not only uncomfortable, but it also gets everywhere. Return to the tent and skip the grit!

Save the skinny dip for after sex and wash up before bed; you’ll be refreshed and ready to go when the sun comes up!

When it comes to camping sex, intimacy is the name of the game. That’s one of the advantages of doing the nasties in a tent: almost every position becomes instantly more intimate.

Packing it Up

Whatever way you choose to get wicked in the woods, it’s a great way to spice up your sex life while also reaping the benefits of love-making and nature. Kinky camping can be a romantic and exciting experience for both partners.

Looking for someone to go for a walk in the woods with? Visit Foxtail to find your kinky camper!