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Living on the Edge… Complete Beginner’s Guide to Edging

Couple practicing edging

Can edging help you give your partner back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will have them cumming back for more? The answer is ‘yes.’ I’ll show you how to keep them on edge in this Beginner’s Guide.

Edging is orgasm control; You or a partner are brought to the brink of orgasm, stopping just before the peak to make the climax stronger and more intense.

What Edging Does to You

Edging boosts testosterone levels, increases endurance, and gives you complete control over when you cum. Stockpiling pleasure chemicals in the body is not only healthy, but it also feels amazing!

Liberating yourself from the need to have an orgasm allows you to pay much more attention to orgasm than ever before. You can do it alone or with a partner while achieving the same level of orgasmic control.

Starting the Conversation

Before you begin, discuss it with your partner. Do you want to deny your partner an orgasm entirely, or stave it off for an hour, two hours, or three hours, bringing them to the brink again and again and again, until the sexual energy reaches a maddening peak, allowing them to explode?

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Training the Orgasm


The simplest solution is to stop. Stop touching yourself or anything else that is stimulating once you feel the orgasm rising. Allow the sensation to pass, then begin stimulating your body again. Until…you feel another approaching…then stop! Notice the pattern stop and start.

Edging only works if you and your partner know how to touch each other in a pleasurable way. There are no rules; do whatever makes you excited. Add toys...experiment. It’s intended to be intense and erotic, resulting in a more satisfying climax!

Changing Things Up

Another way to switch things up when edging is to use a different technique than what you usually require to orgasm. You can still touch your clitoris or G-spot; don’t do anything that normally gets you off. Instead of rubbing your clitoris in a way that makes you orgasm, tap, pinch, or press it.

Perform oral on your partner before they return to stimulating you. That way, you’re still sexual, but you’re not rushing into an orgasm.

Focusing on your breathing can divert your attention from sexual stimulation and keep you from cumming. As you get closer to the point of no return, your breathing becomes faster and shallower; concentrating on each breath can help distract you. One of the best unexpected orgasm control techniques is to inhale and exhale more slowly.

If you have trouble stopping yourself from climaxing, use a distraction. Allow your mind and body to focus on something other than how good it feels. A well-timed bite or spanking can interrupt your orgasm, allowing you to start back up later.

Creating Excitement

Couple edging using a sex toy

If you don’t want the stimulation to stop as you get closer, switch from clitoral to vaginal stimulation. Rub your (or your partner’s) body or caress your breasts. Stroking your labia or even anal play may feel intense, keeping you close but not close enough to make you orgasm.

Keep it intense, focusing on sensual touches that still feel good; you’re not leaving the moment or allowing your body to return to zero, as discussed in the first edging technique.

Slow it down, keep yourself aroused; the goal is to keep things slow and steady rather than focus on the buildup. Continuous edging may feel less jarring and more fluid than the other techniques mentioned.

How Male Edging Works

You can adapt the above techniques described above for him. It isn’t easy to edge a guy; you’re not in his body and don’t feel what he feels. Watch body signals that indicate an impending orgasm.

Create a system of words or signals that he’s going to cum if you don’t stop doing whatever you’re doing that feels so good. Since you are in control, you can pause or change things up, so he doesn’t cum right away.

As you edge your man or he edges himself, he may lose his erection partially or completely. That’s perfectly normal as long as he’s still a little aroused. If he’s softer, you can increase stimulation until he’s hard.

Man can orgasm separately from ejaculating; here are a couple more orgasm control techniques to try in your quest to edge him.

Squeeze the scrotum – When he’s about to cum, wrap your thumb and forefinger in a loop around his scrotum. To avoid ejaculation, gently but firmly pull down.

Cowgirl is great for controlling the pace and depth of sex while still keeping him on the brink.

Use a Scale: Use a 1 to 10 edging scale to check with him to ensure he will not orgasm. A 1 indicates that he is NOT likely to cum, while a 9 or 10 indicates that he will orgasm. If you can’t tell how close he is to climaxing from his body or reactions, ask him where he is on the scale.

If you’re controlling his orgasms, he may beg or plead to cum or a certain type of sensation; don’t give it to him! This is an excellent way to introduce dominance into the bedroom. If premature ejaculation is an issue, edging can help him last longer.

Ready to Cum?

When you’ve mastered the art of how orgasm control works, you might be wondering when it’s time to cum. The truth is that there is no perfect time.

You could engage in edging two or three times and then cum. You might also want to see how far you can go and how explosive an orgasm you can have! You decide whether you want to see how many times you can wait in a given period or have a marathon cum control session!

I can’t stress enough how important it is to use plenty of lube, especially if it involves prolonged anal or vaginal penetration. Even your clitoris and vulva may need a little slick stuff for maximum pleasure.

OOPS You Came Anyway…

Sex toys you may use to edge
Sex toys you may use to edge

Relax… You didn’t know when to stop the act and have stimulated yourself or your partner for too long. You can’t stop it once you’ve passed the point of no return. To avoid this, you must pay close attention to your body and the signs of impending orgasm. You may need to slow down or eliminate some distractions. Come to a halt as you approach your orgasm.

Orgasm control requires practice, so add some sensation and impact toys, bondage, or role-play: whatever gets you off. Don’t be afraid to use the toys that help you get off; you want to reach climax consistently! Try to delay reaching climax a little longer each time you play; you will increase your orgasm and stamina. Go ahead and time it if you need to.

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The Takeaway

Controlling when you orgasm achieves stronger orgasms, allowing you and your partner to better understand your bodies. While it can be intense, it will help you achieve the bigger, more intense orgasm!

Start edging now if you want that earth-shattering orgasm! If you’re feeling edgy or want to have someone else on the brink, go to Foxtail, and find someone to help you take the edge off!

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