Ever wondered why do so many people get pleasure from other’s pain? What part of human nature wants to see others in peril? Why inflicting ill will or pain on others is a big source of pleasure for thousands of us? Let’s be even more precise on what we are talking about. Schadenfreude! Yes, you read right, A Germanic derivative word that literally means “enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others”. In this ever-changing world, chances are you might know someone who indulges in this practice, or perhaps, you do so yourself.
Want to know more about why seeing others in pain gives you pleasure? Stay with us and read the post!
Do these phrases excite you?
- “Handcuff me to the bed so I can’t resist you.”
- “Put your hands around my neck and squeeze me till I gasp for air”.
- “Blindfold me so I can’t see what’s coming”.
- “I like pain.”
- “I’m helpless. Do to me as you desire, Master.”
If so, you might be a saidst (a person who takes pleasure in inflicting pain, punishment, or humiliation).
What Do You Need To Know?
What you have read are things you might hear from a submissive (a person ready to conform to the authority or will of their master). Often we get excited about the sexy scene while forgetting what underlies an S&M relationship.
1. S&M is just a Part of BDSM, not the Whole Deal
BDSM stands for bondage, dominance, sadism, and masochism or, to others, dominance and submission . Do you see my point now? S&M, in a nutshell, is the practice of using pain as a sexual stimulant. Negociations must take place prior to avoid any triggering or undue harm.
2. It’s up to you
You don’t have to be tied to a St Andrews Cross on day one! But if you have confidence in yourself, by all means, show your partner what you’ve got. All I’m saying is, both parties are fully aware of and have consented to every activity from the onset. Blindfold or not, you’re not in the dark. The best part of it all, for me at least, is you get to pick your poison! What gives you pleasure? If being tied up isn’t your cup of tea, don’t try it.
3. Pain Can Be Creative
Flogging, humiliation, and CBT (cock ball tourture), may not suit you but have you considered tickling? Similarly, let the creativity flow in you as you explore different types of painful pleasure with your partner. Some things may turn you off, but I guarantee others will turn you on. Do it all, no matter how crazy it sounds. You’ll never know what’s for you until you try.
4. Be Respectfully Nasty
Nothing turns me on more than a partner that respects my boundaries. Don’t kick respect to the curbs all in the name of S&M. Have a conversation with your partner before you start to establish boundaries. Get consent to every activity that you will perform. Always establish a safe word prior to engagement.
5. Don’t be Ashamed
Communication is the key. Speak out your thoughts. You shouldn’t be ashamed or embarrassed to state what you want and how you want it. Some things can be unorthodox if suggested in a room full of people, but isn’t it amazing you get to do it behind closed doors? If you are really curious to do something that you’ve never imagined and your inner kinkster demands that kind of pleasure, ask for it!
6. It’s not all About the Pain
Does BDSM only involve being subjected to pain? It may surprise you to know that those who enjoy pain are in the minority. Blindfolding is just as good turn-on as inflicting pain. Your pleasure doesn’t even have to come from traditional pain. Keep in mind there are several types of pain from stinging to tickling (yes it’s a form of pain).
7. Do Your Homework
Foxtail’s community is kinky in nature. Regarding S&M, take a look at what we have to offer on the matter. Before engaging in any BDSM, do a whole load of research on it. This experience can either end well or in tragedy. You’re better off knowing what you are doing. Better safe than sorry, agree?
And that’s all from me, love! Now you know there’s more to S&M than you could imagine. Open your mind to all the possibilities. If you have some doubts in mind, it’s all good. Remember, it’s all up to you. Although, with these seven tips in mind, I am confident that you’re good to go.
I will let you in on my little secret. Sign up on Foxtail to get in touch with other people from the BDSM community with just a click of a button.
If BDSM is not for you, don’t worry, Pleasure Uncensored has a variety of other options for you to pick from, head over to our blog.