Skip to content Skip to sidebar Skip to footer

How to be Bad and Be Perfectly Good At It: An Intro to BDSM

The blockbuster Fifty Shades trilogy introduced BDSM to the general public. However, the movie only covered a small aspect of what it really is. If you and your partner are interested in engaging in new kinks, this may be the right choice for you. Here is your fool-proof introduction in this form of kink.

What is BDSM?

The acronym “BDSM” stands for bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission (D&S), and sadism and masochism (S&M). It is an umbrella term encompassing a range of activities and dynamics covering the three erotic practices.

Furthermore, sadomasochism enthusiasts explore by eliciting a physical or psychological response, or a combination of both, to their partner. BDSM is based on trust, control and consent. It also uses power play to elicit pleasure. Both parties negotiate and agree on the terms.

Its History

For several years now, only few people know about the kink. However, its modern culture developed from “The Leather Movement.” After the second world war, soldiers embraced the biker style of dressing and lifestyle. They wore leather clothing, thus the term.

The old movement spread only around gay men and selected women in large US cities. Since then, the world has accepted the kink as a mainstream practice.

The Stigma from its Past

Surprisingly, the sadomasochism kink is an early practice seen in 5th century BC relics. However, the stigma attached to its history was a cause of serious concern.

Seeing the Kink as a Mental Health Issue

For several years, the BDSM kink was a mental health concern. Society branded partakers as mentally ill. People wanted to commit participants to mental health institutions.

Conversely, mental health professionals at present refuted this stigma. The sadomasochism kink shows good correlation with a healthy well-being. People nowadays see the kink as a form of therapy.

BDSM is Not Abuse

A lot of people misconstrue BDSM as violence, pain, and abuse. They even equate a sadomasochistic relationship as a toxic and unhealthy one.


In reality, this type of relationship involves intricate planning, deep trust, and gentle care. Both the dominant and the submissive agree on all terms of the play. Thus, we can surmise that a sadomasochistic lifestyle is a form of a healthy relationship.

The Kink Dictionary: BDSM Terms You Should Know

Top and Bottom

The top and bottom refer to roles used in BDSM. The top role is the dominant one in the relationship. They are also the one giving stimulation or pleasure-pain to the other.

In the same manner, the bottom role is the submissive one. They are the receiver of pleasure, pain, and stimulation. As mentioned, both roles agree upon the terms of the sadomasochistic practice.

This term refers to the agreement and trust given when participating in certain acts. Consent separates BDSM from abuse.

Safe Words

Similar to consent, safe words ensure that both parties are comfortable in the kinky activities being done. During the planning phase of this lifestyle, couples must agree beforehand on the safe words during activities. Safe words establish the limits and boundaries that the person has when engaging in sadomasochistic activities.

Scene

Similar to safe words, partners establish a scene to be followed in the BDSM event. It is a previously planned situation, complete with roles that both parties will partake.

Aftercare

Since BDSM involves some measure of pain, partners must establish aftercare practices. The term refers to a “cool down” period where physical and emotional care is given, usually to the submissive.

Examples of aftercare include tending to wounds, cleaning up each other’s bodies, or a simple cuddle time. It is a must-do after every activity.

Trying Out the Kink

Are you now intrigued to follow the BDSM lifestyle? Here areimportant things to consider before engaging in this kink.

1. Talk it out at length.

Before trying BDSM, couples must first talk at length if both are willing to start this type of relationship. Moreover, they must discuss which kinky acts each one is comfortable with doing.

2. Engage in intensive planning.

Like previously mentioned, sadomasochism involves intensive planning. Establish your boundaries, safe words, and aftercare habits so that everything goes without a hitch.

3. Plan your kinky scene.

The scene is the main event. Carefully plan your scene to express fetishes, test your boundaries, acknowledge the risks, and go over each term of your sadomasochistic event.

Furthermore, it is highly essential to practice good communication skills, especially when in the actual scene. Always start slow since both parties are beginners in this scenario. Let the tension build up over time.

BDSM highly values the consent and comfort between two parties. It is a healthy relationship designed to explore a couple’s sexual desires. However, it involves careful planning and effort. This is why both parties must be prepared both physically and emotionally.

It is an exciting new kink to partake. Are you itching to explore more intense fetishes? Head on over to our shop to cop the best sex toys and tools to use in BDSM!

MASK YOUR IDENTITY with our Privacy Studio. All private photos are hidden until matched.

The content on this page including, but not limited to text, graphics, images, videos, links and other materials are for informational purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, and does not constitute medical or other professional advice. We also do not condone any illegal activity.

Join Us

Foxtail © 2022. All Rights Reserved.

PLEASURE UNCENSORED LOGO

JOIN to receive exclusive Kinky Tips, Entertainment, and Giveaways every week!

PLEASURE UNCENSORED LOGO

JOIN to receive exclusive Kinky Tips, Entertainment, and Giveaways every week!