How to Carve a Dildo out of a Potato

Sweet Potato Dildo

Are you looking for something different in a dildo? Do you still need a few veggies to get that daily requirement? I’m going to show you how to carve a dildo out of a potato!

I read about this on the internet, and I laughed. The idea took root (too puny?) and I thought I bet I could carve a nice one if I tried. Off to the produce section I went.

The most important part of this is potato choice. There were many contenders, I finally chose a sweet potato. I felt bad for wide-eyed kid in produce who got a lesson in hand jobs as I ran my hand over the potatoes for weight and the firmness of the spuds while I made my choice.

The Perfect Potato

The sweet potato was the firmest and the best size, sadly some potatoes were just too small and too soft.  A word about vegetable choice, if you like thick and shorter you can go with a turnip of rutabaga. Steer clear of eggplant and cucumber, too soft and way too wet. I took home my winner and here’s what happened.

After washing the potato and drying it thoroughly. I assembled the following tools:

Sweet potato, knives, and peeler
  • A good visual of the dildo I had in mind
  • Large and extra-large condoms (A girl can dream!)
  • Potato peeler
  • Sharp paring knife
  • Grapefruit knife (Chucked it, It didn’t work well!)
  • Paper towels

Things to be considered before carving:

Whittle away from yourself for your own safety.

Don’t be in a hurry.

The shaft gets slick as you carve, utensils may slip.

Using Strokin by Clarence Carter for inspiration I sat down to listen while I sculpt. I removed the peel from the top 2/3 of the potato, leaving the larger end with the skin on and flared for better handling and what I decided was safety.

A Dildo Takes Shape

I come from two generations of carvers, it was apparent in the first ten minutes, that gene had skipped me. Holding the potato was awkward at times, my hands and the tools got moist and had to be dried off frequently. At this point my husband walks in the room and I explained my project. He took twenty dollars out of his wallet, told me to cook the potato and buy a dildo on-line.

Unpeeled potato base with thinner shaft

After I decided on the base size, I cut a line around the base of the potato and chinked it all the way around so that I could peel towards the top. Using the peeler, I removed all the skin. I then cut off each side of the potato, so I had a very long but square shape. I rounded out the end, then used the peeler until I got the shaft I was looking for. Using the carving knife, I went around the head of the shaft, until I got the head shaped the way I wanted it.

   I had to go around the head with the pointed end of my peeler, to create the rim of the head (this is now starting to sound like a blowjob tutorial!) I needed. I turned the potato dildo, so the head was facing me, peeling downward to get the shaft thinner, so the head was more lifelike.

From there it was a matter of peeling until I had the shaft thickness I needed.

I decided my dildo needed to be realistic. I added more detail to the head and glans and added a slit.

As I worked, some very random thoughts popped in my head.

If this dildo isn’t thick enough, it could break inside you.

Finished potato dildo

It needs to be covered with a condom when you use it, to prevent an allergic reaction and possible infection.

I am making an eco-friendly dildo. Whoop! Whoop!

I finished the potato dildo and started to work on the base, I peeled the “handle” of the potato and cut a flat bottom, so it could stand on its own. I then rounded the base to resemble balls; in this case, it was one big ball.

Potato Dildo…Potato Vibrator

Cored dildo shaft

I sat back with my new potato dildo and had a genius thought! I then cored the center, making it big enough to insert a thin vibrator. OMG, I just made a potato vibrator (potato farmers are gonna love me!). Once you are done with the dildo, drop it in cold water until you are ready to use it, it will keep it moist, and it won’t dry out or turn color.

A Few Tips…

 When your ready to play, roll the condom on it, lube this baby up and enjoy yourself. With a little ingenuity, the right set of tools and a sweet potato, you can create an evening of fun that is cheap, creative, and eco-friendly!

Had enough veggies but still need a dildo? Head on over to FOXXXY and buy yourself the dildo of your dreams!

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