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How to Please a Sadist, Not Just Sexually

We’ve all been to a point where we want someone to fall in love with us just because we adore them so much. And when you combine the person and the kink you’re into, then you’re probably all hands on deck to get them onboard yours. 

Some Sadists like to use blindfolds to elevate sexual play. These Sadists are also practitioners of Bondage and Discipline. 

As an umbrella of BDSM, you don't have to be into Bondage and Discipline to be Sadist. But often, S&M relationships also delve into the BD component.

But think of something as outrageous as making a Sexual Sadist (think, Christian Gray in 50 Shades) fall in love with you. It’s not impossible but absurdly challenging, especially if you’ve never done BDSM before. Yet if you’re here reading this, you’ve probably made up your mind. Typically you would appreciate being with a Sexual Sadist if you’re a submissive or a fellow sadist wanting a “partner in crime”. So, let’s dive in:


Sexual Sadism or Sadism is part of the BDSM umbrella. It refers to a specific sexual preference involving consensual acts of pain, pleasure, and various other things. 

Sexual Sadists are often practitioners of Bondage and Discipline but not always.  

A Sadist can also enjoy being bound if they command their partner to do it for them.

Are Sadists Born or Made?

Usually, non-practitioners or newbies of BDSM think that relationships in this sexual bubble aren’t serious, just a phase or something that’s only about sexual gratification. It’s not. It’s a kink, and it’s a valid form of sexual expression that may or may not have emotional attachments to them. What’s important is that both (or all) parties enmeshed in any relationship – S&M or not – are in consensual agreement!  

How to Please a Sadist


When you’ve got your target locked and loaded, the first thing to confirm is if your sexual preferences and needs align. You can’t force yourself into that love pot if you’re not open to the things they’re into. It’s just not logical! When it comes to relationships, some people prioritize sexual compatibility. That’s actually a healthy way to go about your relationships. It sets certain expectations that are non-negotiable in a way that you know you won’t be wasting time with people who just won’t work with you. 

People who are into BDSM – and even those who aren’t – should hold this practice on a pedestal. It’s high time that we are okay with setting boundaries at the onset! Especially when the sex involves getting into pleasurable pain or pain, knowing if your brand of Sadomasochism is compatible with their brand of Sadomasochism is kind of a no-brainer! S&M has different degrees, and it’s necessary to know your partner/s’ limitations. You might like it a little bit too vanilla, and they might like it a little bit too rough. You might want to keep it in the bedroom while they may want to extend it to their daily routine. Lay it all out in the open because an S&M relationship requires full consent. Clarity should be a priority! It’s key you express what you like, and they should do the same. 


Sexual Sadists are capable of emotional connections. You can be in a loving relationship with a Sadist. Trust is key.

Apart from the obvious counter-checking of your sexual preferences, you should connect with them on a romantic level. The idea is to make someone fall in love with you, and that involves romance. 

While it might be tempting to just bang one out and see where it goes, that would be counter-productive if you want a romantic relationship. Emotions take time to bloom; you need to water and tend to it consistently. Luckily, a lot of Dating Guides are available for your use. You don’t have to appeal to their Sexual Sadistic side right then and there. You can start winning their favor with emotionally stimulating gestures. Take them out on a date. Have coffee together. Go for a moonlight walk. Ask about their day. Try skinny dipping. Sparking a connection with your Sadist while fostering a bond will do wonders for your emotional compatibility. Sex isn’t everything!


Sexual Sadists are also emotional creatures. They are capable of building relationships with fellow BDSM practitioners.

For a Sadist, it excites them to punish you for being defiant. As a submissive, the main goal is to submit to your dominant, and that’s all well and good. Yet to catch this one’s attention and affection, you need to be different from the rest. Throw them a bone and a reason to ravage you through your S&M play. You’re not to defy them to challenge their authority, merely to provide inconveniences that would ignite arousal. 

It doesn’t have to be sexual. It can be saying no to a gift. Not pushing through with favors they of ask you. There are a million possibilities! Be creative in turning them down while being cheeky about it. The sexual tension will surely skyrocket, and a steamy session might be in the works.  


We knew from the start that this wasn’t going a steady relationship with clean-cut boundaries dictated by society. This is a special relationship. The kind that happens when the universe grants you its favor. In dealing with a Sadist partner, the way to their heart is to their need to be an authority figure. You must submit to their whims (something that should be equally gratifying for you). And sometimes, these whims can get a little carried away, so make sure that before you dive into any sexual activity, you should set your safe words. Exit routes should always exist! 


While we have talked about some of the ways a Sadist could fall for you, it does not guarantee that they will. Love is not something you can force – Sadist or not. People find their person when they do. You won’t be any better off.

A loving relationship between a Sadist and a Masochist is completely possible and exists somewhere in the world. Love, when it’s pure and true, will always find ways to its rightful owner.

If your current Sadist doesn’t feel the same about you right now, that’s okay. They might not be your Sadist soulmate, but somewhere, they’re out there.

Want to get on ahead? Meet people through Foxtail! Your Sexual Sadist lover might not be in your arms yet, but they might be waiting for you to hit them up there!

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