Kink community culture and BDSM practices have become more prevalent in mainstream culture in recent years. Kink refers to BDSM practices and paraphilias (Popp & Kaldera, 2014), kinky sex, role play, sex games, fantasies, fetishes, and other erotic expressions (Taormino, 2012).
The kink community has its own set of rituals and hierarchies, belief systems, values, social norms, practices, ceremonies, organizations, customs, and modes of comprehension based on acceptance, communication, trust, empowerment, and fulfillment.
The most important shared values held by the kink community and individuals who engage in BDSM are radical honesty, open communication, expressed and enthusiastic consent, safety, trust, and complete knowledge and disclosure of physical and psychological risks.
First of All, What Is Kink?
Kink is a broad term for sex that is not considered traditional. The most common definition is that it covers many alternative sexual interests, preferences, or fantasies that go beyond your run-of-the-mill. In short, kink is not your ordinary vanilla sex.
BDSM is the most famous sample of kink. BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. Being tied up or handcuffed (bondage), spanked (discipline), and role-playing all fall under BDSM.
But this goes much deeper than just whips and chains as Jay Wiseman, author of SM 101, hints in his definition of BDSM as “the knowing use of psychological dominance and submission, and/or physical bondage, and/or pain, and/or related practices in a safe, legal, consensual manner for the participants to experience erotic arousal and/or personal growth.”
Then What Is Kink Community?
Urban Dictionary defines Kink Community as a group of people who organize meet-ups, discussions, parties, social events, or online communication centered on BDSM and/or other kink activities. For example, people in large towns often have munches, which are low-pressure social gatherings, often at a cafe or restaurant, of folks interested in kink.
The openness of communication around sex in the kink community is admirable and can teach us about communication, consent, and boundaries in all sexual relationships. People outside of the kink community can use this as a starting point for private discussions of sex and support with their partners.
In the kink community, sex is typically seen as a manifestation of mental health, and restrained may help with self-discovery. Kinksters regard their sexuality as a type of performance art, revealing more hidden about other people’s personalities.
Where Do I Start?
Once you have decided that you are ready to expand your kinky world beyond your dark bedroom with closed curtains, there are many possibilities for you to explore. If you’re a little nervous, remember that everyone was once a beginner. People in the fetish scene remember how scary it can be at first, so don’t be afraid to be judged or call yourself a fool.
Whatever your interests, you are not alone, and finding a welcoming community of kinksters is always possible. Looking for Kink Community will include social interaction, similarity, real-time, and sometimes pretty much what you are looking for. Also, you may need a trip to do this. Nevertheless, wherever you live, the best place to meet like-minded people and other kinksters is in a safe and comfortable environment.
Munch is a gathering of people interested in almost the same thing. These usually informal social events happen monthly in restaurants, cafes, and bars worldwide, in all major cities and sleepy suburbs. It’s a great way to get started: drinking coffee, making new friends, learning from more experienced ones how to get more involved.
Some communities often have ambassadors whose job is to spot newcomers and make them feel welcome. The good thing is that kinksters are very kind and love to share their knowledge with new people. Regular attendees may wear leather jackets and other markers of kinky community connection to make them easy to spot. Some kinksters use their real name or nickname, so aliases are pretty popular in the community.
Enjoy your favorite drink and make new friends!
Classes (Places to Learn Kinky Skills)
Depending on the kink you want to explore, there are countless classes on Foxtail for you to choose from. The Bondage/Ropes classes are probably the most common. It’s a great way to meet people in the community. Some game parties also have workshops and classes that you must go to!
Most of the major conferences are annually and can be focusing on one aspect such as age play, or furries, or the spirituality of leather. Other conferences can be more general, with dozens of speakers covering every topic, from how to be the best submissive you can be to how to use a flogger and everything in between.
Conferences are often take place in hotels and require a fee with a discount for previously registered attendees. This annual conference features a wide variety of topics and speakers, from amateurs to professionals. Typically, a well-organized conference offers products and services for every kinkster — from products for leather care to high-quality floggers and whips to full leather and latex gimp suits.
All you need to do is to bring your imagination and your wallet!
If you’re not ready to join a community, you can read other people’s experiences and kinks and start making friends in anonymity. But if you’re ready to begin your journey, bring up any internet browser and search for “kink clubs” in your area.
But you don’t have to go far! Sign up for Foxtail now because there are kinksters like you in our community here in Foxtail who are still exploring the kinky world. Join now and make friends!