Having a sex toy for solo play is good. Using sex toys with a partner is Brilliant! And if you’ve never tried it, it could be that thing you need to spice it up in the bedroom.
However, introducing sex toys to your partner might not be easy. There are certain ways to go about it to achieve the result you desire without offending. I’ve gone through this personally and am happy to share my guide with you.
Break the ice, but brace yourself for the awkwardness
Introducing sex toys to your partner can feel very awkward. When you mention using vibrators in the bedroom, your partner can feel threatened or offended. While outdated and unfortunate, there is some deep-seeded insecurity surrounding sex toys. It’s as if bringing a vibrator into the bedroom implies that you don’t think your partner is good enough. That ain’t right!
When bringing it up, don’t concentrate solely on your sexual needs. Doing this has the potential to annoy and put your partner on the defensive. Make the conversation about both of you. Approach the subject with empathy and be prepared for an inquisitive reaction.
Have an open and honest discussion about why this is something that appeals to you. Tell your partner that it’s something new to try that you both will enjoy. Remind them, it’s something the two of you can try together to broaden your sexual repertoire.
Offer to go shopping with them, but be prepared to go alone
Disregard your sex toys collection. It is best to buy something new, especially if your partner is unsure about using sex toys in the bedroom. When it comes to a toy you have used previously, there can be a lot of mixed feelings, especially if it was with other partners.
You want the new sex toy to be something special for both of you, something you can share. Offer to bring your partner to the store with you or to shop online with you. It should calm them down to know that there are so many options for sex toys, as well as non-scary places to buy them.
Be prepared to be shot down while out shopping. It could simply be too much. And that’s perfectly fine! Trying out sex toys for the first time can be nerve-racking. If you’re alone, enjoy the experience. Select something that both you and your partner will enjoy.
Do not choose a huge, phallic monster sex toy
You don’t want to bring a scary, veiny Rabbit vibrator with a million spinning beads and a realistic penis-head home to a nervous partner. Nope. It will not end well. Bringing home a vibrator shaped like a larger-than-life penis says, “I’m replacing your dick with this vibrator” or “I need a penis over your vulva to be happy.”
To begin, pick something non-threatening. You want it to be fun and exciting, not terrifying.
Choose to arouse curiosity rather than anxiety. When in doubt, select a sex toy that does not even resemble a sex toy. The toy should be as quiet as possible. You’re looking for something in a non-fleshy color that’s more “cute” than explicitly sexual.
Concentrate on enjoyable exploration.
This part comes after getting a suitable sex toy. When you bring the sex toy into the bedroom, keep the focus on you and your partner. Learn how to say some verbal encouragement. Tell your partner how turned on you are and how good they make you feel.
You want the toy to be a part of the experience, not the sole focus of it. Make it a point to tell your partner how hot they are and how much you adore their penis/vulva/body.
If at all possible, avoid mentioning the toy. You can direct your partner’s hand to your hot spots, or you can use the toy on yourself. They want to make you happy. If they see how much fun you’re having, they’ll probably be open to incorporating sex toys into the routine.
Keep in mind that it is entirely up to you
Introducing sex toys can be entertaining, but it may not work for every couple.
Sex toys can provide various benefits, such as broadening horizons in sexual positions, techniques, approaches, activities, and interactions and opening up new pathways to pleasure and generating conversation. Regardless, it’s perfectly fine if it’s not your thing.
Sometimes, we need external stimulation to attain orgasm. Hence, the desire to introduce your partner to using sex toys in the bedroom. Doing this does not negate your sex life; it only spices it up, and you end up feeling even closer to your partner.
What is your opinion about introducing sex toys to your partner? Leave a comment below. Foxxxy has the perfect sex toy to use with your partner –Vibrating Cock Ring. You can also join Foxtail to meet other sex enthusiasts.