6 Most Powerful Tips To Finding A Good BDSM Partner

BDSM is one of the most powerful sexual lifestyles in the world today. It is assumed by many that participating in this lifestyle is bad, but after you learn the truth, you will discover how good it can be for couples.

Why is it important to get a good BDSM partner?

We live in a century when people have given their hearts, minds, body and soul to a character Massimo who built a notion of what BDSM should entail. Christian Grey and other movie characters shouldn’t be your only picture of who a BDSM partner is. BDSM is all about getting a partner who you can trust because of the pain involved.

Know your ABCs.

First, you must ask yourself, what does BDSM stand for? BDSM is all about a dominating partner making the submissive partner submit to them in various ways.

A common misconception is that the submissive spouse is simply a lesser person than the dominating partner.

The most powerful tips you can use are here! We lay it out just for you.

Find someone empowering.

Many people find that becoming involved in the lifestyle helps them to let go of feelings of guilt and inadequacy. When you find a BDSM partner, you will no longer feel like you are the sexual victim. Instead, you will feel like a valued member of a team.

It is possible to find someone who is also a vanilla and is looking to couple with someone like you. You can date a vanilla partner, but it may not be a suitable choice for many people.

Exploring the darker parts of this type of relationship will provide you both an opportunity to know each other.

Find someone experienced.

Make sure your BDSM partner is experienced if you want to couple up with someone who likes to be in control. They may damage you if you’re not sure what they’re capable of.

An important tip, ask for feedback from others about their experiences with people they have been dating online. You can also ask a professional dominator for advice on where to find dominant partners.

Learn what you can and cannot have.

Although it may seem like you want to touch and play with as many people as possible, you cannot. Your spouse should also be sure whether or not the gender of the character matters to them.

While many play partners are gender-specific, some kinky-sex couples are open to each other regardless of gender.

Find someone open.

Your potential BDSM partner should be willing to share their desires and fantasies. Some people do not like being submissive and do not like the idea of limiting their partner in this way.

If your kinky sex partner does not feel comfortable revealing their deepest fantasies on a dating site, you may want to consider coupling with another person.

This is something that many BDSM individuals face, and while you will still have fun dating someone, you will not be sharing intimate details with anyone.

Start with a good dating app.

When dating in general, there are many important aspects to consider before getting involved with anyone. If you are new to the concept of kink or new to dating in general, you may want to try joining one of the large BDSM internet dating sites. This website can help you find an intimate partner who shares your kinky interests. Once you have found a partner interested in BDSM activities, you will find that you can have a lot of fun dating on the internet.

There is an incredible variety of individuals you can date from different locations worldwide, meet people, go on dates and have fun. If you are ready to explore the world of kink, and meeting some hot sizzling people, go on and start building your kinky profile! ;)

Let us know if you have something you would add to our most powerful tips bank that we can share with our readers!

This is exciting! I know you will learn more and more from our experts. They love giving these kinds of most powerful tips from their experience.

Looking for someone to help you get started? Find amazing sex-positive people on Foxtail, you may just find the BDSM partner you’re looking for!

Kink Community Culture: What Is It Really About?

Kink community culture and BDSM practices have become more prevalent in mainstream culture in recent years. Kink refers to BDSM practices and paraphilias (Popp & Kaldera, 2014), kinky sex, role play, sex games, fantasies, fetishes, and other erotic expressions (Taormino, 2012).

The kink community has its own set of rituals and hierarchies, belief systems, values, social norms, practices, ceremonies, organizations, customs, and modes of comprehension based on acceptance, communication, trust, empowerment, and fulfillment.

The most important shared values held by the kink community and individuals who engage in BDSM are radical honesty, open communication, expressed and enthusiastic consent, safety, trust, and complete knowledge and disclosure of physical and psychological risks.

First of All, What Is Kink?

Kink is a broad term for sex that is not considered traditional. The most common definition is that it covers many alternative sexual interests, preferences, or fantasies that go beyond your run-of-the-mill. In short, kink is not your ordinary vanilla sex.

BDSM is the most famous sample of kink. BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. Being tied up or handcuffed (bondage), spanked (discipline), and role-playing all fall under BDSM.

But this goes much deeper than just whips and chains as Jay Wiseman, author of SM 101, hints in his definition of BDSM as “the knowing use of psychological dominance and submission, and/or physical bondage, and/or pain, and/or related practices in a safe, legal, consensual manner for the participants to experience erotic arousal and/or personal growth.”

Then What Is Kink Community?

Urban Dictionary defines Kink Community as a group of people who organize meet-ups, discussions, parties, social events, or online communication centered on BDSM and/or other kink activities. For example, people in large towns often have munches, which are low-pressure social gatherings, often at a cafe or restaurant, of folks interested in kink.

The openness of communication around sex in the kink community is admirable and can teach us about communication, consent, and boundaries in all sexual relationships. People outside of the kink community can use this as a starting point for private discussions of sex and support with their partners.

In the kink community, sex is typically seen as a manifestation of mental health, and restrained may help with self-discovery. Kinksters regard their sexuality as a type of performance art, revealing more hidden about other people’s personalities.

Where Do I Start?

Once you have decided that you are ready to expand your kinky world beyond your dark bedroom with closed curtains, there are many possibilities for you to explore. If you’re a little nervous, remember that everyone was once a beginner. People in the fetish scene remember how scary it can be at first, so don’t be afraid to be judged or call yourself a fool.

Whatever your interests, you are not alone, and finding a welcoming community of kinksters is always possible. Looking for Kink Community will include social interaction, similarity, real-time, and sometimes pretty much what you are looking for. Also, you may need a trip to do this. Nevertheless, wherever you live, the best place to meet like-minded people and other kinksters is in a safe and comfortable environment.


Munch is a gathering of people interested in almost the same thing. These usually informal social events happen monthly in restaurants, cafes, and bars worldwide, in all major cities and sleepy suburbs. It’s a great way to get started: drinking coffee, making new friends, learning from more experienced ones how to get more involved.

Some communities often have ambassadors whose job is to spot newcomers and make them feel welcome. The good thing is that kinksters are very kind and love to share their knowledge with new people. Regular attendees may wear leather jackets and other markers of kinky community connection to make them easy to spot. Some kinksters use their real name or nickname, so aliases are pretty popular in the community.

Enjoy your favorite drink and make new friends!

Classes (Places to Learn Kinky Skills)

Depending on the kink you want to explore, there are countless classes on Foxtail for you to choose from. The Bondage/Ropes classes are probably the most common. It’s a great way to meet people in the community. Some game parties also have workshops and classes that you must go to!


Most of the major conferences are annually and can be focusing on one aspect such as age play, or furries, or the spirituality of leather. Other conferences can be more general, with dozens of speakers covering every topic, from how to be the best submissive you can be to how to use a flogger and everything in between.

Conferences are often take place in hotels and require a fee with a discount for previously registered attendees. This annual conference features a wide variety of topics and speakers, from amateurs to professionals. Typically, a well-organized conference offers products and services for every kinkster — from products for leather care to high-quality floggers and whips to full leather and latex gimp suits.

All you need to do is to bring your imagination and your wallet!

If you’re not ready to join a community, you can read other people’s experiences and kinks and start making friends in anonymity. But if you’re ready to begin your journey, bring up any internet browser and search for “kink clubs” in your area.

But you don’t have to go far! Sign up for Foxtail now because there are kinksters like you in our community here in Foxtail who are still exploring the kinky world. Join now and make friends!

Sex Party: Top 10 Dos and Don’ts To Remember

If you’ve never been to a sex party before, you may assume it’s full of undressed strangers rolling about with no regard for any rules or restrictions. That’s where you’re mistaken. Sex parties definitely have rules for everyone to have a good time.

It’s crucial to recognize which actions are acceptable and not in an event where so many standard rules don’t apply. Understanding and sticking to the rules will make your fellow partygoers feel at ease with you and allow them to enjoy themselves. So let’s talk about some DOs and DON’Ts before diving into your very first sex party.

DOs and DON’Ts in a Sex Party

DO: Know What type of Party you’re Attending.

The sex-positive community (people who accept sex as a good thing) is divided into various branches, each of which has its own events. Some are more concerned with sex, while others are more interested in social connection. Singles are catered to by some, while couples and their visitors are catered to by others. So, find out whether it’s a swinger sex party, a kink munch, a swap party, or a cuddle puddle, etc. Familiarize yourself with the guidelines before going or inquire about them when you arrive. Then stick to them.

DON’T: Don’t Forget to Set Your Boundaries.

This one’s really important at a sex party. Setting boundaries and writing them down or making a mental list allows you to define what’s okay and what’s not accurately. You definitely won’t be flashing a piece of paper at possible sexual partners, but noting things down is a good approach to figure out what you are and aren’t comfortable with before feeling obligated to agree to something you don’t really want to do.

DO: Put On Your Sexiest Clothes

Know the dress code.  Again, you can ask about it and then follow suit. Wear something comfortable, whether it’s a sarong, a loose dress, a fitted jacket, or a rubber corset. However, whatever you wear, make sure it’s clean and comfy. You can dress in something kinky. It’s still highly recommended!

Always brush your teeth and take a shower before going out. Carry whatever you’d normally use to shave before going on a first date. You’re putting yourself out there, so bring your best self.

DON’T: Don’t Forget That it’s a Party.

You’re not in a brothel. Just because you showed up doesn’t automatically mean that you are entitled to sex, not even if you paid a high cover price and travelled a long distance. Everybody there is a guest just like you. They are, above all, humans. It would be best if you treated everybody with respect. And if you don’t get any action, don’t make it a big deal, it’s a party. There’s always going to be another one.

DO: Be Prepared

Condoms are provided at most parties. There are even lubes, towels, and wet wipes in some. However, arriving at a party where you expect to have sex with strangers and not having a dental dam or a single condom is a bit of a turnoff. And it goes without saying that it’s always better to be safe than sorry.

DON’T: Don’t Get wasted.

Always ask someone’s permission before touching them. Slapping some stranger’s butt in a club seems hot in movies, but it’s not cool in real life. Always ask first, whether it’s a single person or a group. If this is your first time, it may be beneficial to rehearse some lines beforehand.

Always ask first, even if you’ve played before.

Don’t be concerned about being “smooth.”? Everyone is aware as to why you’re there. Be straightforward and kind. Also, keep in mind that everyone has the right to cancel their permission at any moment. 

DON’T: Be afraid to say “no.”

Attending a sex party doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to have sex; you may watch, but only if it’s allowed. It also doesn’t imply that you have to talk to everyone who comes up to you. Smile ?—it helps to take the sting out of the words—but be straightforward and assertive when someone attempts several times, and make sure that they get that no means no. In most cases, people aren’t going to continue pushing.

DO: Be friendly by breaking the ice.

You don’t have to talk to everyone you meet, but an approachable demeanour will certainly draw people to you and relieve you of the burden of initiating conversations. Having a nice attitude and being open to possibilities can create a better experience.  If you’re confused about anything, ask questions and admit that you’re new to the situation. Everyone has to start somewhere, right? You’ll almost certainly discover that the other guests will be more sensitive to your situation if you speak up.

DON’T: Be Entitled.

Make sure you don’t leave any mess behind. Don’t take up too much space in the restroom. Don’t take photos or videos of anybody. Keep your observations to yourself. And if anything doesn’t seem right, tell the host immediately. This is not your party be a courteous guest.

DO: Carry Sex Toys.

We are living in modern times. This means that if someone invites you to a sex party, make sure you have sex vibrators with you (if that’s your thing). Here’s the thing: sex toys in the bedroom can be hot. If it makes you excited at home, bring it out. Kink toys can be a great addition to such an occasion. Some people may share their toys with you, but don’t count on them for hygiene’s sake. Stock up on low cost kinky toys at Foxxxy.

Keep these 10 do’s and don’ts top of mind, and you’ll do great. Sex parties are a lot of fun! Concentrate on people rather than sex, and you’ll have a blast. If you make a mistake, an apology is acceptable. Be open-minded and allow yourself to learn.

Don’t know where these parties are? Find people who do by signing up on Foxtail, and start exploring a new world of wonder with curious and exciting people like you! ;)