Our culture implies that people with disabilities shouldn’t be sexual beings. The public sees them as objects of sympathy and not allowed to be overly sexual, sensual, or domineering. The expectation is for them to be quiet, constrained, and meek. They shouldn’t be assertive, open, or even human, but the world of kink treats them with embracing difference. BDSM and can be inclusive spaces for folks with disabilities to also be sexual beings with unique needs and desires.
Kink + Accessibility Go Together
Kink is all about informed consent and getting your needs met. Whether that’s having an extra pillow under your knees for comfort or tying the rope tighter for more enjoyable pressure, kink relies on clear communiation to work well. People with disabilities are constantly having to advocate for their needs even though they may not get them from their schools, work, etc. Since kink already prioritizes needs, it is a naturally healing space for people with disabilities to be heard and actually get their needs met.
Kink Builds Confidence
Kink assists people with disabilities in building confidence through role play. The act of role-playing allows people to experience the feeling of power, surrender and even control. Seeing your own power or even ability to surrender in a scene can help a person feel good about themselves and build confidence. Kink can help to overcome the feeling of not being enough. It also gives people with disabilities the chance to be free and explore themselves without the confines of societal expectation or misgivings of others.
Kink is Cathartic
Some folks report catharsis and pain relief in – get this – impact play! Some people who live with chronic pain report feeling a sense of release and a reduction in pain when participating in pain-related play, which is likely due to the rush and release of dopamine, seratonin and adrenaline. Other people find it therapeutic to express intense feelings in scene they have difficulty expressing in vanilla life. Kink provides a safe, private space to express and release things carried over from the day to day lived experience without repercussions.
Anyone interested in kink has the power and right to learn kinky practices and benefit from it’s healing. Never forget that you are the only one who sets your limits! Society doesn’t get to dictate the pleasure and fun you get to have. You do.
Check out our blog for similar posts. Connect with other kinksters who want to play with you in our sex-positive community here. What’s the fun if you don’t socialize? You can also leave a comment below. We appreciate your views too.