40 and Sexually Active – Taking Care of Your Sensuality

Age is just a number! Just because you’re 40 doesn’t mean you aren’t sexy anymore! 

So what if you’re pruning a bit? Your wrinkles are a testament to your experience and life! It’s a call for celebration! And what better way to celebrate life than to do the deed that gave you life?

Intertwined lovers’ feet

But the thing is, sex at 40 entails a lot of new considerations that weren’t present in your youth. Menopause/Andropause might be in your near future (if it hasn’t claimed you already); its tell-tale signs are now starting to show – like being dry down there, some mood swings, or being unable to hoist up the little general for a quickie.

Although it can get distressing to accept your body, don’t let that discourage you. The changes that you’re experiencing are all part of aging. Besides, modern technology has made it possible for people to relish in pleasures of the flesh (I’m looking at you Viagra and Lube) no matter how old you are.

Aged Like Fine Wine

The 40 and sexually active terrain is a reawakening of your sensuality. Think of it as the second coming of your virginity because, let’s admit it, at some point, your raging libido mellowed down either when you had kids, when your job demanded more overtime, or both. Your priorities just changed, and getting off seemed like the least of your worries. It doesn’t help your case when you’ve stopped doing your self-care rituals; the shedding of your public persona as you build a comfortable home tends to decrease your time and energy maintaining things that make you feel confident. It’s one of the main contributors to the lack of confidence that many men and women approaching 40 or are in their 40s experience. They feel desexualized and out of touch with their sensuality. 

A glass of red wine

By choosing comfort over wellness, they let themselves go. It’s not a crime to have a break from all the fuss. However, a lasting positive relationship between you and your body requires you to get reacquainted with your ability to love yourself in all shapes and forms. 

Sexy Has No Standard 

Wellness is attained through consistency. As we age, it becomes increasingly difficult to be consistent about things you can put off, like going to the salon, the dentist, getting waxed, and so on. While these may seem like trivial things, they are contributors to your self-perception. This is why Body Positivity is so hard to manifest. The media is purposive in feeding our brains with the ideal body type across ages. Unnecessary pressure is placed on everyone to look a certain way to be called sexy, think Jennifer Lopez and Channing Tatum. Although you’re not expected to be like any of them, it makes you feel futile for even trying to take care of yourself. 

Sexy has no standard, though. All bodies are valid, and we should accept them for how they are. You’re not getting anywhere moping around about your fading youth. Think of yourself as a deliciously aged fine wine. Sure, you’re getting up there, but that doesn’t lessen the quality and texture of your person. Sex appeals are subjective. If you feel sexy, it emanates! 

Sensual Sensibilities: Taking Care of Your Sensuality at 40

Taking care of your sensuality or desire to feel and express sexual pleasure takes effort. A sexually active 40-year-old isn’t a leprechaun. But the sexual routine of an old married couple may make you think that spice is off the table. Remember that sex should always be consensual and enjoyed by the participants. You shouldn’t feel obligated to have sex. You should want to have sex.

So how do you take care of your sensuality and become an invigorated sexual being at 40?

Here are a few things you should consider:

1. Self-Care Regimens

Saddle up and Spa! 

Self-care regimens such as skin care routines, mani-pedis, waxing, or shaving are trivial rituals, but these things help make you look and feel your best! 

Woman indulging in self-care

I know, I know, it can certainly be a hassle to maintain frivolous activities like these. Basic grooming can transform into a thing of the past when you’re too comfortable with your partner, but we all know it shouldn’t be. 

Self-care is important. You need to establish a good relationship with yourself to better connect and relate with another person. So don’t hesitate! Make an effort to hold a spa day at least once a month! It’s not a girly thing to use clay masks! Involve your partner in this monthly spa day! Do it for the team, guys! 

Another great self-care regimen would be exercise! Apart from it being good for your body, it’s also a mood enhancer like sex. Research shows that people who regularly exercise are happier than those who aren’t. It can promote good mental health and improve your self-perception – this allows you to feel better about yourself and, in turn, sexier. 

2. Indulge in Romance

Couple kissing

When was the last time you and your partner had a night out or adventure? If you can’t remember, then you’re in serious need of a romantic getaway. 

Indulging in romance is a great way to boost that libido! Your connectedness with your person is an undeniable feeling that can stir fire in your heart and loins. Book a nice restaurant for no apparent occasion! Have a moonlight walk! Do the things you used to do when you guys were dating. It’ll surely bring back fond memories!

Meanwhile, for all you single 40-year-olds, go out and meet people! Stop sulking in your nice apartment. There’s a whole world outside that couch of yours. Sign up on a dating app! Ask a friend to hook you up on a blind date. Casual relationships don’t end in your 20s. You can still play the game even if you’ve been benched for years. There are a lot of singletons out there ready to bang one out! You could be one of them, too!

3. Masturbate

Masturbation is the definition of sensuality. 

Hands and a vibrator

You can totes masturbate at 40 or older, and you don’t have to be shy about it! Owning your pleasure is an empowering feeling. It basically says that you don’t need anyone else to make you feel good.

Though you can also share this experience with a partner with mutual masturbation, it’s still a comforting idea that you can own this sex act by yourself. Many people find that possession of something which cannot be taken away boosts their confidence off the roof. 

So don’t wait up! Masturbate at will! 

4. Get Kinky

Sexy Secretary Role Play

If you’ve lived all of your sexually active years without getting kinky, now is the time to try. 

There is a whole community out here that is open to new sex-periences. Try out kinks and look for something that fits you and your personality. Buy toys that would make you giggle at the thought of using them. I guarantee that trying out different kinds of play would excite both you and your partner. 

To avoid being overwhelmed by the vast roster of toys and play, try buying something basic like toy hand-cuffs and blindfolds, try out cosplay sex, or role-playing. The choices are endless! 

Keep In Mind

As a sexually active 40-year-old, you shouldn’t beat yourself up for loving the deed at your age. You can even enjoy sex when you’re 80, and it’ll still be a valid form of self-expression and self-pleasure. You can even feel pleasure without sex, and it’ll still be valid.

Owning your sensuality and taking care of it is an ongoing process. Even at 40, your sexual nature is still evolving. You might not feel sexy all the time but you should aim to feel sexy most of the time.

Want to get a head start in your sensual journey? Read more sex positive and empowering articles on Foxtail! Or you could meet people from our community!

How to be Bad and Be Perfectly Good At It: An Intro to BDSM

The blockbuster Fifty Shades trilogy introduced BDSM to the general public. However, the movie only covered a small aspect of what it really is. If you and your partner are interested in engaging in new kinks, this may be the right choice for you. Here is your fool-proof introduction in this form of kink.

What is BDSM?

The acronym “BDSM” stands for bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission (D&S), and sadism and masochism (S&M). It is an umbrella term encompassing a range of activities and dynamics covering the three erotic practices.

Furthermore, sadomasochism enthusiasts explore by eliciting a physical or psychological response, or a combination of both, to their partner. BDSM is based on trust, control and consent. It also uses power play to elicit pleasure. Both parties negotiate and agree on the terms.

Its History

For several years now, only few people know about the kink. However, its modern culture developed from “The Leather Movement.” After the second world war, soldiers embraced the biker style of dressing and lifestyle. They wore leather clothing, thus the term.

The old movement spread only around gay men and selected women in large US cities. Since then, the world has accepted the kink as a mainstream practice.

The Stigma from its Past

Surprisingly, the sadomasochism kink is an early practice seen in 5th century BC relics. However, the stigma attached to its history was a cause of serious concern.

Seeing the Kink as a Mental Health Issue

For several years, the BDSM kink was a mental health concern. Society branded partakers as mentally ill. People wanted to commit participants to mental health institutions.

Conversely, mental health professionals at present refuted this stigma. The sadomasochism kink shows good correlation with a healthy well-being. People nowadays see the kink as a form of therapy.

BDSM is Not Abuse

A lot of people misconstrue BDSM as violence, pain, and abuse. They even equate a sadomasochistic relationship as a toxic and unhealthy one.

In reality, this type of relationship involves intricate planning, deep trust, and gentle care. Both the dominant and the submissive agree on all terms of the play. Thus, we can surmise that a sadomasochistic lifestyle is a form of a healthy relationship.

The Kink Dictionary: BDSM Terms You Should Know

Top and Bottom

The top and bottom refer to roles used in BDSM. The top role is the dominant one in the relationship. They are also the one giving stimulation or pleasure-pain to the other.

In the same manner, the bottom role is the submissive one. They are the receiver of pleasure, pain, and stimulation. As mentioned, both roles agree upon the terms of the sadomasochistic practice.

This term refers to the agreement and trust given when participating in certain acts. Consent separates BDSM from abuse.

Safe Words

Similar to consent, safe words ensure that both parties are comfortable in the kinky activities being done. During the planning phase of this lifestyle, couples must agree beforehand on the safe words during activities. Safe words establish the limits and boundaries that the person has when engaging in sadomasochistic activities.


Similar to safe words, partners establish a scene to be followed in the BDSM event. It is a previously planned situation, complete with roles that both parties will partake.


Since BDSM involves some measure of pain, partners must establish aftercare practices. The term refers to a “cool down” period where physical and emotional care is given, usually to the submissive.

Examples of aftercare include tending to wounds, cleaning up each other’s bodies, or a simple cuddle time. It is a must-do after every activity.

Trying Out the Kink

Are you now intrigued to follow the BDSM lifestyle? Here areimportant things to consider before engaging in this kink.

1. Talk it out at length.

Before trying BDSM, couples must first talk at length if both are willing to start this type of relationship. Moreover, they must discuss which kinky acts each one is comfortable with doing.

2. Engage in intensive planning.

Like previously mentioned, sadomasochism involves intensive planning. Establish your boundaries, safe words, and aftercare habits so that everything goes without a hitch.

3. Plan your kinky scene.

The scene is the main event. Carefully plan your scene to express fetishes, test your boundaries, acknowledge the risks, and go over each term of your sadomasochistic event.

Furthermore, it is highly essential to practice good communication skills, especially when in the actual scene. Always start slow since both parties are beginners in this scenario. Let the tension build up over time.

BDSM highly values the consent and comfort between two parties. It is a healthy relationship designed to explore a couple’s sexual desires. However, it involves careful planning and effort. This is why both parties must be prepared both physically and emotionally.

It is an exciting new kink to partake. Are you itching to explore more intense fetishes? Head on over to our shop to cop the best sex toys and tools to use in BDSM!

How to Please a Sadist, Not Just Sexually

We’ve all been to a point where we want someone to fall in love with us just because we adore them so much. And when you combine the person and the kink you’re into, then you’re probably all hands on deck to get them onboard yours. 

But think of something as outrageous as making a Sexual Sadist (think, Christian Gray in 50 Shades) fall in love with you. It’s not impossible but absurdly challenging, especially if you’ve never done BDSM before. Yet if you’re here reading this, you’ve probably made up your mind. Typically you would appreciate being with a Sexual Sadist if you’re a submissive or a fellow sadist wanting a “partner in crime”. So, let’s dive in:


Sexual Sadism or Sadism is part of the BDSM umbrella. It refers to a specific sexual preference involving consensual acts of pain, pleasure, and various other things. 

Are Sadists Born or Made?

Usually, non-practitioners or newbies of BDSM think that relationships in this sexual bubble aren’t serious, just a phase or something that’s only about sexual gratification. It’s not. It’s a kink, and it’s a valid form of sexual expression that may or may not have emotional attachments to them. What’s important is that both (or all) parties enmeshed in any relationship – S&M or not – are in consensual agreement!  

How to Please a Sadist


When you’ve got your target locked and loaded, the first thing to confirm is if your sexual preferences and needs align. You can’t force yourself into that love pot if you’re not open to the things they’re into. It’s just not logical! When it comes to relationships, some people prioritize sexual compatibility. That’s actually a healthy way to go about your relationships. It sets certain expectations that are non-negotiable in a way that you know you won’t be wasting time with people who just won’t work with you. 

People who are into BDSM – and even those who aren’t – should hold this practice on a pedestal. It’s high time that we are okay with setting boundaries at the onset! Especially when the sex involves getting into pleasurable pain or pain, knowing if your brand of Sadomasochism is compatible with their brand of Sadomasochism is kind of a no-brainer! S&M has different degrees, and it’s necessary to know your partner/s’ limitations. You might like it a little bit too vanilla, and they might like it a little bit too rough. You might want to keep it in the bedroom while they may want to extend it to their daily routine. Lay it all out in the open because an S&M relationship requires full consent. Clarity should be a priority! It’s key you express what you like, and they should do the same. 


Apart from the obvious counter-checking of your sexual preferences, you should connect with them on a romantic level. The idea is to make someone fall in love with you, and that involves romance. 

While it might be tempting to just bang one out and see where it goes, that would be counter-productive if you want a romantic relationship. Emotions take time to bloom; you need to water and tend to it consistently. Luckily, a lot of Dating Guides are available for your use. You don’t have to appeal to their Sexual Sadistic side right then and there. You can start winning their favor with emotionally stimulating gestures. Take them out on a date. Have coffee together. Go for a moonlight walk. Ask about their day. Try skinny dipping. Sparking a connection with your Sadist while fostering a bond will do wonders for your emotional compatibility. Sex isn’t everything!


For a Sadist, it excites them to punish you for being defiant. As a submissive, the main goal is to submit to your dominant, and that’s all well and good. Yet to catch this one’s attention and affection, you need to be different from the rest. Throw them a bone and a reason to ravage you through your S&M play. You’re not to defy them to challenge their authority, merely to provide inconveniences that would ignite arousal. 

It doesn’t have to be sexual. It can be saying no to a gift. Not pushing through with favors they of ask you. There are a million possibilities! Be creative in turning them down while being cheeky about it. The sexual tension will surely skyrocket, and a steamy session might be in the works.  


We knew from the start that this wasn’t going a steady relationship with clean-cut boundaries dictated by society. This is a special relationship. The kind that happens when the universe grants you its favor. In dealing with a Sadist partner, the way to their heart is to their need to be an authority figure. You must submit to their whims (something that should be equally gratifying for you). And sometimes, these whims can get a little carried away, so make sure that before you dive into any sexual activity, you should set your safe words. Exit routes should always exist! 


While we have talked about some of the ways a Sadist could fall for you, it does not guarantee that they will. Love is not something you can force – Sadist or not. People find their person when they do. You won’t be any better off.

A loving relationship between a Sadist and a Masochist is completely possible and exists somewhere in the world. Love, when it’s pure and true, will always find ways to its rightful owner.

If your current Sadist doesn’t feel the same about you right now, that’s okay. They might not be your Sadist soulmate, but somewhere, they’re out there.

Want to get on ahead? Meet people through Foxtail! Your Sexual Sadist lover might not be in your arms yet, but they might be waiting for you to hit them up there!

How to Be a Fierce Femme Fetale : Tips for the Emerging Dominatrix

There are many styles of domination an Alpha Female can explore in BDSM. Being a female dominatrix, Domina or Domme creates a safe space for womxn/women identified folks to explore power dynamics and head-spaces typically reserved for those socialized as male within the patriarchal paradigm. In this article you will find out the basics of domination and tips to get started on your BDSM journey into a more embodied, powerful womxn/woman. First, let’s look at what being a Dominatrix is all about.

What is a Dominatrix?

Dominatrix is a French word that means “one who rules over others.” It is commonly defined as a power position in which one dominant partner exerts influence, structure and discipline over their submissives. While it is believed that one partner, the Domme holds all the power in these dynamics, it is important to remember an effective Domme is abiding by the boundaries and consent She and Her submissive have defined prior to entering the active BDSM scene. If it is an ongoing relationship or a  24/7 relationship, there are regular check-ins around hard limits, soft limits, pushing boundaries, consent and pleasure. For more info on limits and discussing BDSM with your partner, check out this article.

In pornography, you will often see Dominas asserting their dominance over their partners through pegging, chastity, orgasm denial, cock and ball torture (CBT), and other forms of sexual control. While this is common, it is important to note that Dominance is not inherently sexual and that many Dominants assert their control over their submissives without sexual contact through discipline, protocol, sadomasochism and a variety of creative outlets exploring power play in kink. 

What makes a Powerful Domme?

There are a plethora of powerful female Dommes out there and they are all different. Dominas each have their own unique style of Dominance that draws their ideal servants and submissives to them. For example, some Dommes are experts at using their wit and sharp tongue to elicit humiliation and perform verbal degradation. This goes well with orgasm control and those who get off on embarrassment or pain. Some Dommes are uninterested in humiliation and participate in noble Domination which trains the submissive through encouragement and clear protocol instead of shame, creating a structure for the submissive to follow in order to be rewarded by being allowed to rub their Domme’s feet or have an orgasm. 

Some Dommes enjoy creating religious scenes with their submissives becoming a literally living Goddess enjoying Her worship. And then there are teacherly Dommes who make their subs read books about Feminism to learn how to be a better servant and ally to womxn, proving their knowledge through writing papers so they may be rewarded with their beloved Domme’s Golden Shower. Or Dominas who enjoy primal play, hunting their submissives in nature pursuing a predator/prey dynamic. There’s no telling what the Huntress will do when she catches you! 


The most effective and powerful Dominas know what interests them, what they find pleasurable and what parts of power play turns them on. It does not matter if you’re piercing your submissive with needles or using them as a footstool as long as you, the Domme enjoy what you’re doing alongside your submissive. There’s a style of Domination fit for every Domme AND every sub!!

Learning how to be a great female dominatrix is about rightfully controlling the power you already possessExploring scenes and activities that make you feel like a powerful Queen are a great place to start unleashing the Domme within. Be open to trying different things, learning new skills and getting messy. While the submissive gives you their hard limits, YOU as the Dominant get to set the scene, the pace and choose the play. There’s a limitless amount of creativity and potential pleasure as a Domme! 


Contrary to popular belief, Dominance has nothing to do with manipulation. Dominance is two consenting adults exploring their limits and participating in a fulfilling dynamic. While there are dynamics that include blackmail and other forms of “manipulation,” this is all consented to in advance so everyone involved knows what they’re getting into. At any time either party can use their safe-word.

Communication is Key

The most important part of being the Dominant in power exchange is communication, both listening skillfully and articulating your needs, wants and expectations clearly. Being able to listen deeply and get to the core desire of you and your submissives’ kinks opens realms of infinite possibility to play in. 

Ensure to always have a safe word – and even a safe signal! If you are gagging your sub and tying them up, they need a signal to let you know if things are not ok. Check-in often, especially when getting to know your sub’s (and your) limits. Eventually you will develop fluency for their needs and limits but don’t be shy to check in the meantime. If you do not feel you can communicate clearly and be responsible for another person’s well-being in a scene, you still have more practice to do until you’re ready to step into your Domina heels! Practice until your commands and check-ins feel natural and pleasant to say.

To become a great female dominatrix, first learn to embrace your power and courageously communicate! You will find you’re actually having fun managing the people around you and getting what you ask for if the Domme-life is for you. It takes practice and experience to find your unique style, a sexy adventure! Enjoy the ride and if you find yourself uninterested in Dominating, maybe you’ll find submission is more your thing. It’s all ok! The expansive world of kink is yours to explore. 


Connect with Dommes (or subs) in your area by visiting our kinky community here.  


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Swingers Party: How to Enjoy Your First Sex Party

You arrive with some food and drink to share. You go around greeting people you know and meeting new people while relaxing with food and drink. The host lays out basic rules, such as where sex is permitted and where it is not (customarily explained before arrival), no unwanted force, and respect for any rules laid out by the participants prior, during, and after sexual interaction. Condoms are usually provided by the host, but you can bring your own if you prefer. Safe sex is negotiated between the parties involved.

If you have a partner, you will have your own pre-agreed-upon comfort level rules about what is and isn’t acceptable to do while at the party. When you become attracted to a person or people, you discuss (in whatever level of detail you want) what you want to happen next and during your interaction. Have a good time! When you’re ready to leave, you thank your host and either return home or continue on to other delights.

Does this sound like fun? Keep reading

Swinger party Los Angeles

What is a Swingers Party?

Few people realize that swinging as a fad in America began in the 1950s when Air Force officers in California started swapping wives. Since then, it has been more common among those 35+ years old, behind closed doors. It has become more mainstream with younger crowds, with the push being driven by women looking to call the shots. Swinger parties have become so typical there are even websites where people host swinger parties.

A swingers party is meant for individuals with a desire to: watch others have sex, swap partners (soft or full swap), be cuckolded, play in an orgy, and so much more. It’s a lower risk, higher adrenaline encounter. Low risk since the attendance is kept private and sex takes place around other respectful adults. High adrenaline, as things can move very fast!

Those familiar with the swinging world refer to it as the “Lifestyle.” People in the lifestyle typically meet online before meeting in person. They meet randomly at sex parties to avoid the possibility of an affair. Sex parties can take place at a designated sex party location or in a private area of residence. The rules are pretty standard, with consent being the highest priority.

Rules at a Swinger Party

NO means “NO” Especially At a Sex Party

This rule is paramount for obvious reasons, this is the most important of the swinger rules. If someone is violated at a party, word will travel fast. This can lead to lawsuits, “being canceled,” violence, or worse. Typically party-goers want to avoid any negativity or hostility, so it’s best to ask.

Tip: If it’s not a FUCK YES!!! It’s a Hell No.

I’ve often seen guys asking for something and being met with kind rejection only to keep pushing. Sex parties are not the place to push what you want on to others. Check your ego and pride at the door. We’re all here to have a good time!

Swinger parties are also no a place for the meek. Owning your “NO” at a sex party is your most valuable tool. Subtitles can be missed when drinks and genitals are on the table (literally lol). Practice saying and receiving no with a friend or partner before attending to get you in the habit of saying it and hearing it, and you’ll be fine.

Remember, you can always say NO. There’s never a reason to be ashamed or worried. Swinger parties are meant to be the fun, sexy experience you’re imagining. You may not get exactly what you want every time, but if you abide by the NO, you’ll be invited again.

Aggressive behavior

This rule closely follows the law, “NO means NO.” Remember that not everyone likes rough sex. Get a feel for your partner and their desires. Do not use violence if you do not get consent in advance. Do not force your partner to do anything. Even if you previously had rough sexual intercourse with a particular individual, this does not mean that the person is ready for this again. Remember, any sexual manifestations depend on the mood of the person.

Always be courteous and polite. Getting upset or “butthurt” because you were asked to leave is a sign of not being able to take rejection.

It is strictly forbidden to force or pressure someone.
Proceed only by mutual agreement!

Age limits

Anyone attending a sex party must be 18 years or older. Most swing party organizers require people over the age of 21. As we said above, consent is essential here. Swing party members must be able to legally to consent. If you’re unsure, don’t risk it. There are more fish in the orgy ??.

Why Do You Want to Attend Swing Parties?

That’s precisely what you should ask yourself before joining swinger parties. Are you doing this for yourself or to please someone else. If it’s later, you may cause yourself lasting psychological harm. If you are looking to test the waters, attend as a voyeur and clarify that you are not there to play.

Do not surprise your partner by inviting them to swinger parties. If you do this, they may act without having proper time to mentally prepare. If they don’t have any interest, unfortunately, you may have to find a new partner or come to an agreement. This may be tough to hear, but there’s no way around it. If they are working toward it, don’t bring it up often, as it can make it seem like a condition of your affections. They may not want to experience the jealously or thoughts of you and another or vice versa.

Compersion is the quality found in people who can find pleasure in watching their partner receive pleasure. This quality is scarce. It can be developed, but it will require work and compromise on both sides. Yes, if you want them to do it, be prepared to do the same for them.

A butt for a butt as they say ?.

Do not Get Entangled with other Couples

I can’t emphasize this enough. Do not get entangled with other people in the group party. Do not try to connect with someone without speaking to their partner. Unless you are building a friendship naturally, leave the party at the party.

These are often mistakes of amateur swingers who have shown the so-called “Spark of Love.” This leads to feuds in a sex party, and it can really get ugly, especially if there are drugs involved. Remember, relationships can be fragile, don’t be a homewrecker.

If you and your partner are looking to make more profound relationships. Consider going on a “couple’s date.” This will give everyone the chance to get to know each other and establish boundaries. When trust is established, there’s no limit to where things can go!


Never pull out your phone! If you must use your phone, go to the bathroom. By nature, these parties are private. Respect everyone’s privacy, and don’t bring your phone out. Some places will even take your phone and smash it. Leave the party, take your call and come back.


On the one hand, alcohol in moderation promotes relaxation and extra excitement. However, it is worth remembering that alcohol consumed more than your average amount can have the opposite effect. Alcohol is a depressant, after all.

Drink as much as you should, not as much as you could.


I strongly advise against using drugs at swing parties.

Firstly, you can run into severe problems with the authorities. Second, you can’t consent thoughtfully, which will have lasting consequences. Last, being in a state of drug intoxication will not give you the whole experience of swinging.

If a swinger party is boring, leave. Save your drugs for a better party.

Dress Code

Most swinger Parties have a theme that the organizers decide in advance. Typically, it’s some kind of clothing-based themes like a toga or costume party.

If this information is not specified, contact the event organizer and clarify all your questions. Anyway, it would be best if you were neatly dressed and well-groomed.


The swing is an exchange of partners by mutual agreement. Never offer party members sex with your partner for money. You will be instantly removed from the sex party and receive a ban from all future events.


Always be clean and have a pleasant appearance. Wear a small amount of perfume or non at all; some are allergic or sensitive to strong scents.

Wear deodorant, be squeaky clean, and brush your teeth right. You can also bring your own sex toys and don’t forget about condoms. Safety should come first.


Do not criticize, try to change, or judge anyone. Don’t judge. #DontYuckMyYum as we say.

You should discuss desires and preferences with your partner in advance. Go into the party with a game plan of what to look for and work as a team. Swinger parties can be an actual test of the strength of a relationship.

What You Need to Know About Swinging

Experienced swing couples believe that sharing intimate acts and fantasies with a partner has a colossal arousal power. Swinging with others can bring partners closer together thru compersion and fulfillment. Sex parties are a natural and enjoyable way to prevent sneaky infidelity and subsequent breakup.

Swinging is not the same as Kink. The two are close neighbors but often don’t mix. Bring toys to play with your partner, but no one is looking to be dominated or worshiped more often than not. They are there to F*#k (Fuck).

The Bottom Line

Have sex as much as you want, enjoy it, get the most out of it. Everyone should have fun, so stick to the above rules, and the world of sexual happiness will open for you. Having sex with your loved one and enjoying other partners is much better than infidelity. I recommend that you try this kind of sex and get an unforgettable experience. Discover parties going on this week on Foxtail. You will want more!

How to Carve a Dildo out of a Potato

Sweet Potato Dildo

Are you looking for something different in a dildo? Do you still need a few veggies to get that daily requirement? I’m going to show you how to carve a dildo out of a potato!

I read about this on the internet, and I laughed. The idea took root (too puny?) and I thought I bet I could carve a nice one if I tried. Off to the produce section I went.

The most important part of this is potato choice. There were many contenders, I finally chose a sweet potato. I felt bad for wide-eyed kid in produce who got a lesson in hand jobs as I ran my hand over the potatoes for weight and the firmness of the spuds while I made my choice.

The Perfect Potato

The sweet potato was the firmest and the best size, sadly some potatoes were just too small and too soft.  A word about vegetable choice, if you like thick and shorter you can go with a turnip of rutabaga. Steer clear of eggplant and cucumber, too soft and way too wet. I took home my winner and here’s what happened.

After washing the potato and drying it thoroughly. I assembled the following tools:

Sweet potato, knives, and peeler
  • A good visual of the dildo I had in mind
  • Large and extra-large condoms (A girl can dream!)
  • Potato peeler
  • Sharp paring knife
  • Grapefruit knife (Chucked it, It didn’t work well!)
  • Paper towels

Things to be considered before carving:

Whittle away from yourself for your own safety.

Don’t be in a hurry.

The shaft gets slick as you carve, utensils may slip.

Using Strokin by Clarence Carter for inspiration I sat down to listen while I sculpt. I removed the peel from the top 2/3 of the potato, leaving the larger end with the skin on and flared for better handling and what I decided was safety.

A Dildo Takes Shape

I come from two generations of carvers, it was apparent in the first ten minutes, that gene had skipped me. Holding the potato was awkward at times, my hands and the tools got moist and had to be dried off frequently. At this point my husband walks in the room and I explained my project. He took twenty dollars out of his wallet, told me to cook the potato and buy a dildo on-line.

Unpeeled potato base with thinner shaft

After I decided on the base size, I cut a line around the base of the potato and chinked it all the way around so that I could peel towards the top. Using the peeler, I removed all the skin. I then cut off each side of the potato, so I had a very long but square shape. I rounded out the end, then used the peeler until I got the shaft I was looking for. Using the carving knife, I went around the head of the shaft, until I got the head shaped the way I wanted it.

   I had to go around the head with the pointed end of my peeler, to create the rim of the head (this is now starting to sound like a blowjob tutorial!) I needed. I turned the potato dildo, so the head was facing me, peeling downward to get the shaft thinner, so the head was more lifelike.

From there it was a matter of peeling until I had the shaft thickness I needed.

I decided my dildo needed to be realistic. I added more detail to the head and glans and added a slit.

As I worked, some very random thoughts popped in my head.

If this dildo isn’t thick enough, it could break inside you.

Finished potato dildo

It needs to be covered with a condom when you use it, to prevent an allergic reaction and possible infection.

I am making an eco-friendly dildo. Whoop! Whoop!

I finished the potato dildo and started to work on the base, I peeled the “handle” of the potato and cut a flat bottom, so it could stand on its own. I then rounded the base to resemble balls; in this case, it was one big ball.

Potato Dildo…Potato Vibrator

Cored dildo shaft

I sat back with my new potato dildo and had a genius thought! I then cored the center, making it big enough to insert a thin vibrator. OMG, I just made a potato vibrator (potato farmers are gonna love me!). Once you are done with the dildo, drop it in cold water until you are ready to use it, it will keep it moist, and it won’t dry out or turn color.

A Few Tips…

 When your ready to play, roll the condom on it, lube this baby up and enjoy yourself. With a little ingenuity, the right set of tools and a sweet potato, you can create an evening of fun that is cheap, creative, and eco-friendly!

Had enough veggies but still need a dildo? Head on over to FOXXXY and buy yourself the dildo of your dreams!

How To Choose The Perfect Yoni Egg Rock For You?

Oh, crystals! If you are the spiritual type, you may be intrigued by the idea of using Yoni Eggs — egg-shaped stones that promote sensuality, femininity, and healing energy. In ancient China, Queens and Concubines used Yoni Eggs because they believed it carried many magical properties. Recently, Yoni Eggs are booming their way into the modern era! People are now rediscovering these techniques and using them to create a more vibrant sex life.

Let’s dive in and find the best Yoni Eggs for you!

What Are Yoni Eggs?

Yoni Egg, also known as Jade Egg or Love Egg, is a precious stone carved in the shape of an egg and polished to be worn in the vagina. The Yoni Egg is more than just a nifty accessory to add charm to your bedside table.


Yoni Egg is an ancient and sacred instrument for spiritual transformation. It is also a Kegel exercise tool to have better orgasms, and have more sexual satisfaction overall! Each crystal has unique properties that can affect your body in different ways.

Which Yoni Egg is the Best to Start With?

Every person has a different affinity to which type of stone is the best for them. All stones will help you heal in different ways, and each one has its capabilities. You don’t need to know exactly what each crystal does, it is more important you allow yourself the crystal egg that you’re most attracted to. Intuitively you body already knows what it needs if you listen and let it catch your eye.

Rose Quartz, Clear Crystal, and Jade are all very popular because of their powerful overall healing properties and they are safe stones to put inside. For beginners, it is important to double check that the stone you choose is safe to use internally. There are certain stones like pyrite and selenite that are not safe for the Yoni.

Which Size to Start With?

About 80% of people begin with a medium-sized egg. People over the age of 50 or women who have given birth to three or more children are more likely to need bigger eggs. The smaller the egg, the more advanced technique is required to use. Beginners are encouraged to use the larger crystal eggs.

It is more challenging to feel and use a smaller egg, but the more you practice, the more comfortable you will get. It may feel awkward at first, but sitting with it or meditating with it can help you get used to it.

If this is a new experience for you and you’re unsure where to start, we are here to guide you! We listed some stones for you to begin with, including a brief introduction that can surely help you choose your stone to purchase!

Types of Yoni Eggs

Amethyst (Intuitive-Stone)

One of the most popular stones in the spiritual realm is the Amethyst. It raises spirituality and enhances all types of intuition and psychic powers. It also connects to other worlds by linking them to the physical Earth. On top of that, Amethyst is excellent for meditation and lucid dreaming as well.

It facilitates the ability to communicate with angels and opens your channels to collective consciousness. It purifies energy and allows for the intuition to be heard.

Amethyst can help to heal a personal loss and grief. Amethyst promotes serenity, contentment, happiness, emotional balance, and inner strength, and with this, you can stand firm in life and be more open and cooperative.

Nephrite Green Jade (Dream-Stone)

Nephrite Green Jade supports overall well-being, as well as physical and emotional balance. Since it heals itself, it promotes balanced development where it is needed. Jade relieves irritability and distorts negative thoughts.

Wearing this helps to create magic for the highest good and protection, and because of that, travelers wear it as a guarding stone. Green Jade is a manifestation of Divine energy, and thus a good abundance stone. It has the power to bring harmony and happiness as well as material prosperity.

Clear Quartz Crystal (Master-Healer)

Clear Quartz Crystal, also known as the Master Healing Crystal, works on every level and contains a full light spectrum. It works to harmonize the body, amplifies positive thoughts and positive actions. This crystal has medicinal, meditative, and protective purposes. It helps purify and clarify on every level — spiritually, mentally, and physically.

It also helps to discharge feelings of stress that have been absorbed from other people and erases the feeling of inferiority. Clear quartz is one of the most popular stones in the world. Indeed beautiful for beginners!

Black Jade (Negativity-Remover)

Black Jade is a calming and soothing crystal. It protects you from negativity and fosters the wise use of power. It can discharge all negative energy and keep it away from interfering with the wearer’s surroundings. This stone is also a stress and muscle relaxant.

I highly recommended this stone to a person who’s from a destructive relationship, who is detoxing from the negative energy of others and even themselves.


Agate is a delicate crystal. This stone is present in all different shades of Mother Earth. Red Jasper gives you an insight into your issues and provides a powerful sense of stability.

Agate is particularly good at balancing your emotional, physical, and intellectual energy and achieving equilibrium in the art of Yin and Yang, both opposing forces of the universe. 

This crystal can strengthen the body and offer protection while concentrating, critical thinking, and visual perception. It’s an excellent stabilizer and giver of trust.

Red Jasper (Stone-Of-Endurance)

Red Jasper offers stimulation and vigor. Its vibration can give you strength and energy that promotes a state of balance and well-being.

Red Jasper gives you an insight to your issues and provides a powerful sense of stability. According to legend, Red Jasper aids stress, promotes calm and balance, and acts as a go-to gemstone for rejuvenation. For a long time, people have believed that this stone enhances vitality.

This stone may help if you experience significant changes in your sexual desires since it supported your sexual well-being and libido. Red Jasper is a stone of passion and used as an expression of “ready-to-tie the knot.” It aims to fulfill both partners’ sexual desires and compatibility.

Black Obsidian (The-Manifesting- Stone)

Black Obsidian crystal stimulates release of past baggage. It provides a physical medium for grounding and anchoring spiritual energies. A stone that heals traumas and deal with emotional breakdown.

Black Obsidian helps detoxifies on a spiritual level. This stone links through your root chakra, Muladhara. Many people wear this pendant to show their respect for Mother Earth.

Rose Quartz (Love-Stone)

Rose quartz is a crystal that satisfies romantic longing and eases emotional turmoil. It is known as the “Love Stone,” as it’s said to be the stone of unconditional love. This crystal opens the Heart Chakra, and it encourages forgiveness and helps you let go of anger, resentment, and jealousy.

It has a solid nature to attract new love, romance, and intimacy or strengthen existing relationships with family and friends. This rock also carries the energy of compassion, healing, nourishment, and comfort. It is a lovely stone for those working on receiving love and loving themselves. It is also a good stone for Mothers.


The name of this fascinating stone derives from the Italian word “Aventura,” which means Good Luck. It boosts your humor and desire for novelty but also encourages individuality and openness to new ideas.

This gemstone enhances the desire to embarking on new adventures and trying to do something new. It will promote your ability to navigate through life with ease.

Moonstone Black (The Mysterious-Feminine)

Moonstone Black reveals the true soft side inside you. Because of their nature, these Yoni Eggs may initially appear dull. However, under different lighting conditions, it glimmers in a multitude of colors while having a soothing and mysterious effect in which people can hardly get enough of.

Like the moon, which experiences a complete dark phase, the moonstone possesses a hidden wealth of varied characteristics. It strengthens your empathy and your intuition. Tenderly but forcefully, it can take you to the core of your most heartfelt feelings and enhance your mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

Green Jasper

In olden times, people used to believe that stones could cure illness. Jasper’s name derives from the Greek word “Iaspis” (in English: speckled stone). According to the Greeks, it provides inner harmony and strengthens the connection to Mother Earth and Nature.

This stone can give you harmony within and during challenging situations, it serves with balance and self-protection. This stone works particularly well on the heart chakra, to fortify and strength the heart.

Have you chosen the right Yoni Eggs for you? You can easily purchase these stones in our store! Check out our kinky sex-positive blog Pleasure Uncensored to know more about Sexual Healing and other relative topics.

Disclaimer: The information provided on this website is not intended and does not imply a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The content of this article is for general informational purposes only. Consult your trusted healthcare professional before using Yoni Eggs.

How to Talk With Your Partner About Sex Toys

Introducing sex toys into partnered sex can open up entirely new realms of pleasure for all parties involved.

Toys can do things that our bodies cannot, such as pulse and vibrate.
Many people can benefit from these novel sensations to have more consistent and frequent — or complex and intense — orgasmic experiences. And the sheer variety of experiences available can assist couples in keeping their sex varied and exciting, which certainly aids in the maintenance of desire in long-term relationships.

It’s an exciting time as sex toys in the bedroom is becoming more normalized. Here’s a few ways to talk to your partner about adding toys to your sexy time.😉

Start with a Chat

For some people, talking about sex toys, or even sex in general, is a squirm-worthy conversation, which is understandable. We, as a society, are often conditioned to consider such topics “naughty” or “dirty,” but sexuality should be an easy and regular topic in your relationship.

Begin the conversation when emotions (and hormones) aren’t running high. Pick a time when you and your partner are both relaxed and having a good time. It might seem like the perfect idea to start the conversation while in bed, but experts warn against this.

Talking about sex toys immediately before or after hooking up can make your partner feel inadequate and lead to feelings of intimidation. Give it some time!

Frame the Conversation Appropriately

Talking about sex toys can make some people feel like what they are doing for their partner isn’t enough. To avoid such feelings, it is crucial to frame your conversation appropriately.

For example, telling your partner you want to incorporate a vibrator into your bedroom play can quickly make it feel like your partner isn’t doing the job enough. Instead, you’ll want to suggest using toys as an enhancement to an already mind-blowing experience. Much better, right?

Tell your partner one thing you really love that they do to you in the bedroom, then suggest a toy that can enhance that feeling. Our store offers various sex toys that you can choose from, check it out!

Take Matters Into Your Own Hands

Sex toys come in all shapes and sizes. How can you know what kind you want? Well, the only way to know what you like is to try some out.

If you are new to the idea of using toys, it is suggested to choose beginner’s toys. You can also introduce beginner toys into your love-making gradually, starting with a small vibrator, like a Powerful Waterproof Wand Vibrator or a Nipple Sucking Stimulator, and graduating to larger or more sophisticated toys depending on how it goes.

Experts suggest starting with small vibrators or fun lubes, like Mizzzee Golden Lubricant, because they are less intimidating. It can be the easiest way to get a conversation rolling on the idea, as well.

Keep the Lines of Communication Open

Everyone has their limit for sexual stimulation, which is the same principle for using sex toys. Once you’ve incorporated toys into your repertoire, keep the lines of communication open.

Ask your partner if they have any fantasies they haven’t fulfilled. Once you’ve had the initial conversation, it will be easier to talk about each other’s limits and whether or not you are interested in upgrading toys.

Remember to have any follow-up conversations when you are both relaxed and not amid a sexual situation.

The Bottom Line

We know that sex toys can be a fun and enriching part of your sex life, but it is essential to discuss your preferences with your partner before heading into the bedroom. These tips can help you start that dialogue and, hopefully, lead to a more enriching sex life for both you and your partner!

If you want to improve and explore more in the bedroom, follow us and check our blog for more content! If you want to find like-minded individuals, then join Foxtail our kinky community. 


Self-Pleasure: Could It Be Best, If Not Done Alone?

The thought of self-pleasure while in front of someone else can make you feel shy since you have done it alone you’re whole life. It can make you feel vulnerable or exposed. In some societies, it is believed that masturbating is wrong or shameful. But as we are coming out of the sexual dark ages, we now know masturbation as a healthy natural practice. Do you wanna spice it up? Invite a friend or partner over to join you in a mutual masturbation session. What a fun way to spend time together :).

What About Me-Time

Is this the end of solo pleasure? Nope. A solo session is as essential now as it was before to help you connect with your sexuality and unwind. Self-pleasuring alone is quite different when compared to doing it in front of your partner. It can be more exciting to tease your partner, hearing moans, groans, or gasps. But if you prefer quiet, go for it.

Alone time is excellent, especially when you have your favorite porn and imagination. Mutual self-pleasure affords you the ability to get the blood pumping safely and intriguingly. By having someone else there, there’s something more erotic about it, even more so than actual sex. Don’t you agree?

Why Masturbate In Front Of Your Partner When You Can Have Sex?

If I had a penny for every time I got this question. Apparently, “It’s amazing and super sexy” doesn’t count as an answer. There are many reasons people like being watched or get off by watching their partner masturbate. Some couples join in the fun and engage in mutual masturbation every once in a while. Here is why people do it:

  1. It’s something new. Rather than the same old fingering and handjobs (which I still enjoy), it’s good to spice things up with something both of you haven’t tried.
  2. You explore role-playing. If you think about it, self-pleasuring in front of someone is putting up a show. Allow me to add that masturbation is hot, contrary to many people’s opinions.
  3. Tell your partner what you want. Now, who wouldn’t love their partner knowing what they want and how they want it done? The thought of that itself is self-pleasure.
  4. It’s a 100% guaranteed orgasm. Since you know what you’re doing, you get a better orgasm with your hand. What are you waiting for? Get to it.
  5. It’s super sexy! You can add BDSM and restrain your partner with handcuffs. Pleasure yourself to your heart’s content while leaving the other with nothing else to do other than watch. You’ll be impressed with what happens when you release them!

How Do I Bring This To The Table?

While at work, my favorite way of telling my partner about all the dirty things running through my head all day is by sending him a text. All I have to do is attach an article like this one (the one you’re reading) and a “You in?” then voila! (Maybe it’s the whole load of eggplants and peaches that gets the job done).

If you are a bit more old-fashioned and want things to happen naturally, I do have a few suggestions for you.

  1. Use your hands. Explore every single inch of your partner’s body, leave no part untouched. Then say, “Do you want to see what these hands can do?” Then touch yourself.
  2. If you like dirty talk during foreplay, go ahead and tell them every detail of the last time you self-pleasured while thinking about them. Make it worth their while by demonstrating. I bet they’ll join the party!
  3. The best part about sex is there’s a lot to explore. Incorporate dominance and submission by using remote-controlled sex toys. Surrender the control to your partner or the other way around. You can make a game out of this, like who can make who cum faster or hold off cum the longest.

Self-pleasure is something both you and your partner can enjoy to build intimacy and be comfortable around each other. It could be a thing for both you and your partner without you having to give up your solo sex. It is about “self” with self-pleasure after all, yes?

I hope my post helped you see that self-pleasure can be enjoyed with a partner. If you want to know more about self-pleasure, please check out Pleasure Uncensored or find someone for kinky dating at Foxtail.

How to Understand Kundalini Energy Under 10 Minutes

Are you new to subtle energy or want to learn more? Many people have heard of the term Kundalini, but their understanding of this concept is unclear. Each of us has the energy of spiritual transformation called Kundalini or Kundalini Shakti. Kundalini comes from Hindu tradition and means “coiled” or “power of the serpent,” and metaphorically means “power of consciousness.” Most spiritual practices in the world mention this, even the Bible and Buddhism.

In this article, I’ve gathered information to help you better understand and answer your questions on Kundalini energy.

What Kind of Energy is Kundalini?

Kundalini has often been depicted as a serpent curled up at the base of the spine at the root chakra. It is believed that there are unwoken people who have the serpent’s head located at the second chakra, Swadishtana.

The snake comparison is by no means a coincidence. А snake’s poison can take a life, but it can save one from significant sickness if adequately prepared. 

Kundalini is the ultimate strength of life. This energy is there since birth and lies dormant in most of us. In some ways, it is like a cable with a plug-in point that could not find its power connection. Today, many people are looking for this through Kundalini Yoga, Hatha Yoga, and Tantra.

Upon activating the Kundalini energy, it flows within us like the wavy shape of a snake, curving from the spinal base into the gut, heart, and head.

As energy flows through this ‘pipe,’ it passes through all our chakras, giving every chakra a ‘boost’ as energy activates them (both Kundalini and Chakra live in the subtle body), all the way to our head, the crown chakra. It passes through our nadis (energy pipes, which allow energy to flow in our bodies). It results in an expanded awareness state.

What’s so Special About Kundalini Energy?

In Tantra, where Kundalini is often called Shakti, the goal of practice is to raise energy to the head. For Hindu tradition, the power of Lord Shiva resides in the head. The union of feminine and masculine energy leads us out of duality and into our state of divinity. It’s the purest union in ecstasy. 

As kundalini energy moves upward, activating each chakra expands our mystical, spiritual experiences and transforms us. It changes us so that the more energy rises and our chakras are activated, the more we merge with the universe and cosmic consciousness. Kundalini’s energy awakening effects include a greater sense of life, creativity, and support in reaching our full potential.

“The great goddess Kundalini, the primordial energy of the self, sleeps in the sexual region of the body. She has a form rather like a serpent, having three and one half coils. As long as she remains asleep, the individual soul (Shiva) is limited and true knowledge does not arise. But just as the right key unlocks a particular door, so Hatha Yoga unlocks the door of Kundalini, allowing the self to experience Brahma and obtain Liberation.” Gheranda Samhita

Dangers and Pitfalls

The ultimate strength of life, Kundalini’s energy, is pure creative power. But what it is created from can destroy it too. Kundalini is often portrayed as a snake, and no wonder the poison can kill us too. However, it can also save us from disease when we discover its purposes.

Working with Kundalini is crucial for seekers of spiritual mysteries within sexuality. Yet, sex works as a snake that can take us into rehabilitation or empowering us. After all, we are in the plane of duality, where all extremes coexist. Discernment and humility in any energy work are necessary if we are not to get in danger.

Kundalini Energy Awakening and Passion go Hand-in-hand

The awakening of kundalini energy does not happen gradually. No, one day after another, Kundalini is not a little by little being awake. It is a quantum leap in pure consciousness. If you feel something gradual and mild, here and there a bit of spark, it’s probably some other energy than kundalini energy.

There is no shortage of energy in the body. The energy sometimes flows to prepare for a future increase in Kundalini. We are all human. Occasionally, we say that our Kundalini is rising as we feel that we are progressing. It fills us with pride and makes us even feel better.

Unfortunately, spirituality often does not go hand in hand with personal development.

Many people rush to say that they have a kundalini awakening after feeling a new rise in energy. The human body has several energy channels, and there can be a lot of activity in our Nadis without the kundalini awakening. Again, we are asked not to jump to conclusions and watch our egos.

Again, the metaphor of the serpent has a precise meaning: it forces the awakening to shed our skin and reveal our innermost self. 

“Before awakening the kundalini, you must have deha suddhi (purity of body), nadi suddhi (purity of the nadis), manas suddhi (purity of mind), and buddhi suddhi (purity of the intellect).” Swami Sivananda

Dissolution of an Individual Self

Are you ready to welcome the destruction of our self-image, the dissolution of an individual self? It can be frightening and even devastating for those who are not prepared. Kundalini’s awakening can cause an internal earthquake and havoc. Different levels of change are significant: physical, emotional, spiritual, and psychological abilities.

For some, what is blissful is a nightmare for others. Once the awakening comes, it will be impossible to avoid those parts of us that we had left under the carpet. Moreover, when the awakening occurs, it is beyond our control. It means that it can happen without your will or when you are far from ready.

People who have never heard of kundalini energy and have no spiritual practice before can experience awakenings. Even for those who want to rise and prepare willingly, it can be not easy. The awakening can stress the body as the energy penetrates. It can bring various sensations such as shaking, vibrating, spontaneous movement, visions. 

Fundamental practices are essential. Kundalini’s energy can take us too far by removing our delusions of a separate self. Yes, it could be a lovely journey. But we live on Earth, in the material world, and here we must function. It is necessary to know how to return to Earth and anchor the received energy. The vastness of expanding our awareness can be overwhelming.

Again, when it happens, it might not be in the safety of our home or the bedroom with a loved one. Practices can support us to prepare ourselves, yet the maxim holds: there is no such thing as control. Our sense of control has to do with fear, pride, self-image, and destroying these are Kundalini’s tasks.

How Can One Awaken Kundalini Shakti?

Taking the kundalini energy from the base of the spine up to the crown chakra is a lifetime challenge. Sometimes we can start with Muladhara, the root chakra, and perhaps get it right up to the third chakra Manipur. But until we connect it with Sahasrara, the crown chakra, we don’t stabilize the energy.

Yogis and Tantric devotees spend years preparing for this energy in case there will be dangers and pitfalls. I do believe that we can stimulate its rise, but when (and if) it awakes, it is indeed out of our control.

The energy could spontaneously awaken for some. However, for most of us, conscious awakening requires a strong mind, a balanced body, and awareness of the movement of this raw energy. Physical strength is essential, and a healthy diet and exercise can be a great help.

Clarity of intentions and willingness to do the work is crucial when it comes to mental strength. Modalities such as Hatha, Tantra, Kundalini yoga, Breathwork, and intonations can significantly support you.

You will find various perspectives when you Google “How to awaken your Kundalini energy.” Some focus on certain foods, claims, distractions, and music. I refrain from discussing how much that stimulates the awakening. Instead, I will focus on what works better than others.


There has been a lot of confusion in recent years over what Tantra is. Tantra is easily mistaken for sexual empowerment in the West. Tantra relies greatly on triggers as a pathway to wisdom. Traditionally, Tantra is an esoteric part of Hinduism and Buddhism. The Tantras are scriptures from esoteric traditions rooted in Hinduism and Buddhism. Anyhow, they teach many methods of “awakening.” 

There are numerous tantra scriptures, and unfortunately, most have not been translated. There are many Hindu and Buddhist lineages, which results in endless Tantra. Each of these belongs to its group of writings. A famous translated script is “The Vijñāna Bhairava Tantra.” which has 112 methods of tantric meditation in it. However, this scripture is very atypical in comparison to most tantric scriptures.


Sexual contact can stimulate and awaken the Kundalini energy. Just as the poison of a snake can kill us or help us recover from disease, sex can hold us or set us free. The Kundalini energy can turn biological instincts into the urge to transcend.

Energies can achieve new levels of convergence by making love, which leads lovers to experience awakening spontaneously. A couple can learn to channel this energy into timeless bliss consciously to avoid risking. 

Breathing is the key to energy circulation: deep breathing and breathing synchronization with your partner through convergence and vital breath exchange. Pelvic movement and grunting also play an essential role.

Sitting love positions work best in these practices, as they provide the right way to increase energy.


Shaktipat is the transmission of spiritual energy from the teacher to the student. In addition to providing the student with new energy, it also helps them to remain active and stable.

The transfer most often occurs by touch. For example, the teacher can touch the third area of the student’s eye. However, there are other ways: the transfer can occur by sight, a mantra, or a word.

The guru cannot transmit their energy but rather an ancient member of its incarnate spiritual lineage.

Movements: Shaking and Dancing

Engage your hips. Make sounds. Your body is the field of energy. Chakra dancing, shaking your body, feeling the shake coming from Earth, freestyle dancing, and belly dancing are great ways to stimulate energy.

I did Everything to Wake it up, But it Doesn’t Seem to Work. What’s Wrong?

We have minor energetic blockages sometimes. More straightforward practices can be sufficient in such cases. Other times, we have significant energetic blockages in our subtle bodies that need regular practice to free them. 

Our subtle body has not just not one, but many. There are seven in many traditions (although you will find traditions stating more or fewer layers). Whatever our numbers, the practical implications of a block in the subtle body are identical. Kundalini energy can rise superficially through somebodies but can’t do the entire work.

When we do extensive work to clear old blockages, we are working on kundalini energy, and cleaning karma, which you will find out is fascinating on its own. In a way, we are returning to our original state, our divinity.

Would you like to know more about kundalini energy and how to awaken it within your body? Please keep visiting our blog for more clarity, self-connection, and empowered living by reading similar articles on kundalini energy and meditation techniques in upcoming posts. 

You can check out our app Foxtail and be connected with like-minded individuals!