Intimacy, Lockdown, and Sex Toys

Everybody loves sex. Being intimate with someone/s and just letting your bodies tango in all the right places is a thrill that we crave – especially when it isn’t allowed.

It’s 2021, and you’d think the world would’ve beaten the Covid-19 pandemic by now, but it seems that the virus is adamant about keeping us social distancing for a little bit longer. As if it wasn’t challenging enough before to date or maintain relationships, the travel and health restrictions are like festival flags that look so fun but also so dangerous. 

What a challenge it is to stay intimate during a lockdown, right?

INTIMACY IN THE PANDEMIC

Since the outbreak in 2020, we’ve been told to meet other people with caution or, ideally, not at all. Pre-Covid Intimacy used to be a magical experience that any sexually active creature could enjoy almost 24/7. You could find a connection through popular dating apps/sites like Foxtail or even organically at your favorite bar or café. Oh, how we miss the little things that meant we’re alive! Remember when we used to anticipate being picked up for a date? Snuggling under the covers with Netflix on? Talking about our fears and dreams in the back of a pick-up truck beneath the stars? Getting it on after a nightcap? Good times, right? 

See, Intimacy isn’t always about sex, though, but also about the connection we have with people. But with touching off the table, we physical touch lovers are at a loss. Whoever thought that these simple things could be taken away by a flu-like virus? 

As the borders shut down, venturing to and fro countries, cities, and even neighborhoods have become a health hazard. Seeing people became impossible and, honestly, just not worth it when we know we can stick it out, right?

 Alas, not everyone can be (temporarily) chaste. 

LOCKDOWN BLUES

Not all hope is lost, though! Thanks to the advances in technology and the gift of the internet, connecting with people over long distances wasn’t really an issue compared to hooking up during the lockdown. Conversations can spark with a click of a button; meanwhile, love-making sputtered out before it even ignited. The lockdown actually killed off a lot of relationships – long-term or budding. It’s either due to the excessive closeness of being stuck together or the physical distance of home quarantine. Covid-19 became an effective heartbreaker for some but a relationship mender to others. People who lived with their significant others never really experienced the kind of sexual drought as the general populace did – even if they ended up breaking up. Those who lived alone had to get creative… or panic buy sex toys like the rest of us.

SEX TOYS ON THE RISE

Ah, yes, the notorious items that are sex toys. The replacement for sexually unsatisfying partners and lack of intimacy, just kidding. Many misconceptions surround sex toys that people think it’s the end of a relationship when you own one. But in reality, sex toys are windows to spicier sex life; it’s the vanguard of other kinks. Everyone loves sex, and sex involves kink. Seeing as everyone has a kink, the fear of not getting some in isolation became too strong that it inevitably pushed those on the brink to join this bandwagon. But that’s okay, sexual exploration and discovery are all part of the fun, and we do not judge here. 

According to a psychosexual health journal, online sales for sex dolls, sex toys, and lingerie have skyrocketed more than 100% of their usual sales. This phenomenon was observed in many countries, i.e., Australia, the UK, Denmark, France, Spain, India, et cetera. This just confirms that people value sexual health as they value their mental health. It’s difficult to go on living without that feeling of release only sex can provide. Still, with the current situation, we had to go to try alternatives to satisfy our bodily cravings. 

The possession of sex toys empowered people to use their imaginations by feeding the senses either via online sessions with partners from different locales or a shared experience in private quarters, through exploration of self-pleasure, or even role-play fantasies. While frenzied to restock pantries for a hibernation-like event, many people also prioritized equipping themselves with basic sex items. Hence, the notion that all types of Intimacy, no matter its form, is valued and needed for overall healthy well-being. 

CONCLUSION

We can all agree that we have all taken hits because of the lockdown experience. Our relationships with the world, other people, and ourselves have changed forever. With the lockdown, the rise of conversations around sex toys have increased. It’s not just something that only kinky people enjoy but it’s something everyone can enjoy. Being open about our intimate needs – sexual, emotional, mental, and spiritual – is a liberating experience no matter the setting.

Currently, mass vaccination drives around that world have helped open a crevice of freedom to roam and mingle, yet the potential of contracting Covid-19 is still a reality of concern.

Making do with the tools and sex toys afforded to satiate our libidos, Intimacy – in all its glory – will have to wait for more favorable circumstances. 

Haven’t had enough? You can read more blog posts on Foxtail’s Kinky Blog! You’ll be sure to find tips on how to quench every desire!  

9 Ways to Enhance Intimacy in BDSM

The concept of intimacy in BDSM is the desire for two people to be sexually intimate and it is not limited to sexual intercourse. In a vanilla relationship, intimacy means being passionate with your partner. However, in BDSM, it often means being more intimate with your partner than with just your body. This can be dangerous because you are playing with your partner’s feelings and violating their trust. You must carefully choose intimacy in BDSM if you want to experience this type of relationship play.


Both you and your partner must be comfortable with being intimate. The person who initiates intimacy must know that their partner will not like the new intimate behavior immediately and may even react negatively. Don’t force the issue if they don’t want to, or you will end up hurting your partner emotionally. If you are having problems initiating intimacy in BDSM with your partner, you need to work on these nine communication issues before proceeding further.



1. Be Patient.

This may take time, and it can be hard at first to let go of your inhibitions and fears. However, it would be best if you become comfortable with sharing your feelings with your partner. When you feel safe enough to talk about your feelings, you can share deeper, more intimate thoughts and feelings, which result in stronger intimacy.


2. Be specific.

Always tell your partner what exactly makes you happy and satisfied. This will help you avoid engaging in intimate behavior that you are uncomfortable with when you are not sure that your partner’s desires are the same as yours.



3. Be vocal.

This means that you must let your partner know what you are feeling and thinking, and you must be vocal about it. Being a silent partner is often a key to avoiding boredom and can cause your partner to become frustrated with your lack of communication. Also, part of the appeal of role-playing games is the ability to express your sexuality while having fun with your partner. Be vocal about your desires and your needs. Let your partner know what is happening in your head and on your body. Allow them to experience what you are feeling.


4. Learn to listen.

This is often one of the most challenging things to do when one is involved in an intimate relationship. However, learning how to listen properly is a skill that will significantly enhance intimacy. By listening to what your partner has to say, you will become a better lover because you will pick up your partner’s needs.



5. Use the space around you.

BDSM practitioners often find that their relationships grow stronger when they can give time to each other. By giving yourself time to listen to your partner, your feelings, and your own needs, you become more tuned in to each other, and the process becomes less complicated. As a result, intimacy is more easily developed and maintained.



6. Never discount your feelings.

Your emotions are valuable, they are essential, and they should never be ignored or passed over. When you are actively engaging in sex, your feelings and desires will be genuine to you. Be sure to share them with your partner. Remember, emotions are integral to intimacy.


7. Explore fantasies.

The most exciting aspect of role-playing is finding ones that you can engage in together. Find fantasies you’d enjoy engaging in with your partner and start exploring those together. By sharing these fantasies, you will increase your passion for each other and will have more fun when you make love to each other.



8. Take a role.

Some people assume that when they engage in a BDSM relationship, their partner will automatically take on all of the responsibilities and skills associated with such a lifestyle. This is not the case. Take on some of the responsibility yourself. When you are enthusiastic about your sexual relationship, your skills will grow, and you will better meet your needs.


9. Develop boundaries.

If you both have a strong sense of boundaries, you are less likely to experience non-consensual sex or “rape.” When there is no clear sexual boundary, there is a greater chance for things to get out of hand. Take a role in how much of the physical intimacy you share. It will make your relationship stronger in the long run.

Would you like to meet more sex-positive people around you? Click here to join our growing community today.