Though wanting a kinky relationship may be a daunting subject, there are ways to talk about BDSM with your partner discreetly and comfortably. If you are a big fan of BDSM or just curious about how hardcore sex could feel. You are probably aware of how difficult it is to talk about your sexual preferences in a relationship. Especially if you have never breached the subject before. Talking about it will be something new and uncomfortable, but a step in the right direction. Additionally, if you have been exploring the world of BDSM and are already experiencing kinky fantasies talking to your significant other about your desires could be a way to further enhance your sexual desires.
What Kind of Kinky Relationship Do You Want?
First, before you talk about BDSM with your partner, you need to be clear about what exactly you are wanting for yourself. Are you looking for a casual sexual encounter between two consenting adults? Or do you want to explore the more intense side of this lifestyle, involving sadism and domination? Or what most people think of when it comes to BDSM, “bondage play”. You might be looking for to show your dominate sire and take control of your partner’s body. Many people with too much power in their vanilla life, look to be submissive in BDSM. Whatever your desires, be sure to talk about it.
If you are looking for sadism or domination, make sure you discuss if this is something you want only in the bedroom or a 24/7 dynamic. A 24/7 D/s (dom/sub) dynamic can be taxing and requires both parties to fully invest. Imagine what kind of play you would like to engage in and ask yourself ‘why’ first.
Once you know exactly what kind of kinky fantasies you have, it is time to set up a time to talk. Pick a time that’s outside of the bedroom that’s still private. Start by asking about things that excite them sexually. Hopefully, they reciprocate by asking you the same. Obviously, this would be the best time to speak about your desires.
It is critical to create a safe space to discuss your intimacy in general, especially if you are experimenting with new approaches to intimacy. Establish open communication about this subject and suggest that you discuss it regularly. While you may start with one conversation. You should expect and encourage multiple discussions and feedback as you explore new sexual curiosities and kinks. Continue to express gratitude to your partner for being open to discussing how new sexual experiences feel and make changes as needed. Be willing to compromise with your partner if they are not as open to sexual experimentation as you are. Ask frequently, “How does this feel to you?” and be willing to adjust expectations as needed. Remember that consenting to these sexual experiences is critical for all partners.
Kink and BDSM have a basis of honesty and openness by nature. Talking about what you want can be daunting, but with proper preparation, your anxiety will lift. Some guides on the internet can give you more ideas and provide a deeper look into the kink you’d like to pursue. You’re always welcome to explore here at Pleasure Uncensored, or if you need to meet others who share your kinks, consider joining Foxtail. This sex-positive community has made many kinky connections possible. Good luck!