Pain & Pleasure: Why Many People Are Curious To Try BDSM

BDSM stands for bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism, and for many these terms cause an array of emotions from curiosity to pleasure, to shame. BDSM engulfs many different sexual practices and has even found a spot in the new consensual sex movement. This article explores the reasons why people engage in BDSM and its benefits.

Why do people want to try BDSM? The most common reason is “pleasure.” We’re all a bit hedonistic, and the pursuit of pleasure is usually a top priority. BDSM offers some of us the ability to experience joy thru a myriad of practices once thought of as taboo. In the public “vanilla” world, we may have to wear masks, but in BDSM, we can let our true carnal urges take center stage. Whether you a masochist wanting to experience painful sexual stimulation or a sadist looking to inflict that pain, BDSM can provide the fulfillment you crave.


BDSM is not just about pain. Many participate in BDSM for mental play. Dominant and submissive dynamics allow us to play a role that we would not otherwise be afforded. Participating in a BDSM is also an excellent way to release pent-up emotions, such as stress.

Sadism vs. Masochism

The main difference between sadism and masochism is that sadism often involves imposing pain. This can be physical pain, such as hitting someone else, or psychological distress, such as humiliation. Sadists can give hardcore demands with the punishment for disobedience involving an assortment of BDSM tools. Sadism in the bedroom might include rough sex, takedowns (as in primal play), choking (breathe play), spanking, and much more.

Alternatively, we have the masochist (sometimes called a pain slut). As you can imagine, the masochist finds pleasure in receiving pain. Often, the masochist is looking to push their limits, a sort of edge play. They crave the excitement of the slap or the degradation of a humiliation seen. Masochists also tend to be more submissive; pleasing their master is their ultimate goal, and they are punished for disobedience.

The pairing of the sadist and masochist can be largely beneficial when they find their BDSM partner. By feeding each other desires, thru what some would not be able to handle, they can amplify their sexual pleasure. These two roles may or may not always be sexual in nature, but typically that’s the case.

Bonus: Sadomasochism

Sadomasochism is the practice of obtaining pleasure by inflicting pain on oneself as well as having pain inflicted on oneself. Sadomasochism is almost always sexual in nature. In the BDSM community, this person might be referred to as a “Switch.”

In Closing

Sadism, masochism and sadomasochism are three words that are often confused. But they have very different meanings. If you fall into one of these categories or are interesting in learning more, checkout Pleasure Uncensored. And if you’re one part of this duo looking for your match join several others on Foxtail.

BDSM Blog Poll: Why You Should Try BDSM

From what we know, BDSM play, at its core, is a form of consenting non-consensual act. Some people view this play as giving their partner control over them, thus giving the person who has been subject to domination some control over the relationship itself. As you can see, dominance or subjugation is the central theme in BDSM.

But why do some people like it and use sadomasochism to spice up their sex life? Well, we are here to find out. We asked our sex-positive community, and they had interesting reasons for including BDSM in their sex life. 

Why Should You Try BDSM?

It might be strange for some, but the most answers of our community were around the benefits that BDSM offers. The most common was that this practice could bring a new dimension to either newly blossoming or long-term relationships. 

Some say that even if you don’t know anyone who has tried it, there are numerous resources to get and read the information on making your first experience a wonderful one. It is hard to find a similar-minded individual, but when you do find it and you click, the experience is unforgettable. 

Recommended: 9 Ways to Enhance Intimacy in BDSM

Others say that a BDSM personality is a vital part of the whole experience of being in a relationship. It can determine how it will play out and whether or not you will succeed.

However, if you have been thinking about BDSM but don’t know what to expect, we surveyed our members and found out why they want to practice this sadomasochism play. Here is what they have to say.

You Don’t Necessarily Feel The Need To Be Sexually Attracted To Someone To Enjoy BDSM

As long as you are comfortable with someone, even if you do not want to have sex with them, you can still enjoy the BDSM scene. BDSM is more centered around the mind as a sexual organ. When you turn on your mind, your partner’s physical appearance is not a factor.

You Like To Choose Which toys you Want to Enjoy During sex

You can be more adventurous than usual and indulge in sex toys, which helps to boost your sexual experiences beyond the “vanilla” part of the mind. Some people even claim that having these sex toys can open up a new world they didn’t know existed, especially in sensation play.

You Are Craving A New Level Of Intimacy In Your Relationship

This technique can enhance your emotional, physical, and sexual bond with your partner with proper implementation. If your current relationship is lacking in that area, then BDSM could do wonders for your sex life! Some people claim that it can also lead to a deeper spiritual life and understanding.

You Crave A Sense Of Power

We can’t talk about BDSM without talking about power exchange. Most people, especially those who have gone through traumatic experiences use BDSM to achieve a sense of safety. For example in role-playing, people take up roles of power in situations they had been powerless before.

What some are particularly drawn to is the ability to feel safe in a situation that once made them feel small and made them feel a sense of power over themselves. This, my friend, is why some use kink to overcome trauma!

Why Do We Crave BDSM?

I know you are wondering why I’m referring to myself as ‘we’, am I right? I do consider myself a member of this community, however, belonging is as much a choice as it is given. For me, it’s how BDSM allows me to feel my pain while still being in control of it. How? Unlike other aspects of life, with BDSM you can end the pain anytime you want to.

Don’t we all want to take charge of what we feel, have the freedom of control?

And if you feel like you are ready to explore the world of BDSM, you can always find people with whom you can go through this journey by trying out the perfect kink dating app. Who knows, you might just find your Master, Mistress, or Sub! For more on this topic and other kink-related topics, check out our Foxtail Blog.